la_belle_laide | Entries tagged with friends

My either/or for most of last month (and all of this month so far) is either write in journal / do anything else OR do manuscript critiques with my good friend [Bad username or site: ”spatterdash” @ livejournal.com]. And the critique trades have been SO STUPID MUCH FUN that I've just gotten so involved in them. Can't stop won't stop. (Fun fact, I still think of “spatterdash” as “d_r_o_n_e”.) This is the most fun I've ever had trading crits. It makes a big difference when it's something you look forward to—reading the other person's work, as well as getting feedback on your own—instead of dreading it.

But I should write a few things down, too, like about this past few weeks in general.

It seems like so many of my close friends are having massive anxiety / bouts of depression lately, all at once. And this kinda includes me, too, with the anxiety. Some of the things I can laugh about (like the other day, I read something about how the shape of certain toddler's heads can cause intra cranial pressure and brain damage and I FLIPPED OUT, went nuts for a few days, called the doctor, the whole shebang, doc told me to basically chill,) and other things are really sticking with me, like the way that Medicare only lets women over 65 get one checkup EVERY TWO YEARS WTF, and how dangerous that is? Major issue sticking to the inside of my skull right now!

Here's a thing that pissed me off and worried me, too. So last week, a friend of mine wrote a post about how important it is to keep your cats indoors for various reasons. I totally agreed, seeing as how I, at the time anyway, had a tiny baby oriole who'd been attacked by a cat. (Oriole—which Callum named Siba—later died. :( ) And also because cats take dumps in my yard, I don't want cat turds in my garden, and dogs eat the poop, which, you know, makes them very ill. This happened to a good friend of mine recently.

So then another gal comes along, and I've been sort of HitRECord friends with her for about five years. Not super close, but like, we used to chat all the time in TinyChat, on Facebook, whatnot. So, she comes along and replies that she keeps her cats indoors, but not because she cares about the stupid birds or my gross f'n dogs, like why would she care if my stupid dogs or some dumb birds died?

And now I'm like... Wow? How do you say that about someone's dogs, right? I know a lot of people don't take pets, or pet-owners seriously. I get that to a lot of people we're considered a little flakey or whatever. There's lots of stuff I don't particularly care about, but I wouldn't say that to people I knew who did care.

So I felt like something else was up, and I messaged her like, Dude, wht the hell? Why would you say a thing like that? Is something wrong? Because I totally thought we were okay. I always made nice comments on your art, the pics you post of your cats, have always supported you on hR, and, you know, sort of pathetically, I thought we were kind of friends?

And she wrote back, “I don't owe you anything just because you liked a few of my things, THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL, so just unfriend me or whatever.”

And I say, “Well, I've always felt that the only thing you owe someone who is kind to you, is kindness in return. That's how I roll, so, you know. And I have to say, I will miss our chats, if that's how it's to be, because I always did like you.”

And do you know what she replied? “You are honestly no loss to me.”

Okay, what the hell with that? And let me say that this is TOTALLY out of the blue. And logically, I'm going, “Well, obviously, she is an asshole of gigantic proportions, so let it go.” But the irrational part of me is going, Did I miss an episode or something? Was I evil to her in a way that I didn't realize? And then I start freaking out, thinking, do OTHER people feel that way, too? Do all of my other friends kind of secretly dislike me, or just put up with me or something? Who is gonna do that next? Someone I'd really super hate to lose?

This kind of stuff doesn't end after high school, you know? Goes on and on well into adulthood and comes from the most surprising places.

But anyway. So I'm trying not to dwell on that too much. I mean, I know whatever is up is her problem and totally not mine anymore, I'm just stuck thinking about, “But what if everyone else...?”

Aside from that. Yeah, so I had that oriole, who was a little beauty but didn't survive, and I also have a little baby crow, who Callum named Matu. A really good little crow.

Callum named them Siba and Matu because lately he's been making up his own words and using them in songs, and then dancing along when he sings them. “Siba, mati, matu, YAY!” “Siba, mingo, mango, mingi, YAY!” And he does these moves like the Maori Haka, which he's never seen, so what even.

He actually did something hilARious last night, had me in tears laughing, but it's TMI and I would hate to put that out there but OMG. So funny.

Callum is really into birds in general, as I think I've mentioned. (How could he not be?) But now, aside from knowing all the kinds of birds in the yard, and all their calls, he also knows their babies' calls. “Mahh mahh beebee grack-ow. Ree ree beebee stee-ling!”

And today, he actually told me the story of what happened to him in the morning: “Gram-gram work. Things to do. Guy-guy Gram gram! Wah-hah-hah. Cam-cam blue truck, fire truck, yay! Guy-guy truck! Wah-hah-hah. Gram-gram cookie. Thankee gram-gram. Wah-hah-hah!” Which basically means: “we went to visit Grandma at work, but she had things to do so we said bye-bye, and I LOST MY CRAP IN THE STORE BECAUSE I WANT GRANDMA. Then I played with some cars and trucks in the store, and I had to stop doing that, too, so I FLIPPED OUT CRYING. Then we saw Grandma again and she gave me a cookie, which I had to stop eating once I got in the car, so I CRIED THE REST OF THE WAY HOME.”

And he's actually awake now, which is like fifteen minutes too early for him to be awake from his nap. And I didn't even get to check Tumblr one last time. But I did send out my email/story section to Spatterdash, so that's a huge achievement for a day like today. :)

I mean not ALL old people are smart, as evidenced by the old white guys in Congress. But, in this entry at least, old people are smart.

I took the dogs and Callum for a walk today because it's like, above 55 degrees I think. (Yeah. Slow-going this Spring for sure.) On our way back, I stopped to talk with my elderly neighbor, Frank. He's got to be in his 80s by now. WWII vet, was one of the guards of Hideki Tojo, after his arrest. (Tangent: Right before my Dad passed, Frank stopped to talk to him one day and told him that, after all these years, his gag order had ended and he could finally talk about Tojo. So he told him all kinds of stories about him, which is crazy.)

Anyway, I really like Frank, and his wife Yokou; they've been our neighbors since about forever. They are wonderful gardeners and, in Spring and Summer, are both outside every day, working until sundown, growing vegetables. So I always stop to chat with them when I see them.

Of course Sano was barking like a fool. Frank said, “He's just being a good watchdog for the baby.” Then he went on to talk about his dog, who had died this year. He said, “You know, I've seen a lot, being in the war and all. But nothing got to me like losing that little dog. The way she looked at me as she died was the hardest thing.” DDDDDD: Okay, pets and dogs really get to me to begin with, but old people being sad is the worst.

He asked how old Callum was now and all of that. I told him he was almost two, which I thought was a good time to teach him how to garden. So I might be asking him for some advice, because it's been a while since I'd had my own garden, and I've never done vegetables.

He said, “I'll help you out, but I think this year is going to be my last garden. I've some health troubles lately.”

WORST.

I didn't want to pry and ask, what, exactly. But I think next year I'll see if he might still want to do his garden if he had some help. Then maybe I'll go over and do his weeding or watering, or whatever it is that needs to be done.

I told him how amazing it was that he was always the first one on the block who was out in the yard, getting things cleaned up, doing all the hard work etc. He said to me, “You have to stay active. Once you start sitting, you start to stiffen up. You stiffen up too much, then one day you stiffen up for good, if you know what I mean.”

Arrrghhhh you are a treasure, Frank, please don't be sick. DDDDD:

Oh, and in other octogenarian news, my beloved Auntie Kau'i turned 82 last month. Totally go check out her story, she is fabulous and fascinating. Still works full time, too, because she loves her work. Life goals.

As it gets close to the end of summer, I'm starting to realize that we only get, I don't know, maybe 7, maybe 8 ocean days per year. Not counting those times we go in the fall, or Spring. Those don't exactly count, because I'm really talking about those lush, humid, hot summer days when you can actually go into the water. So even if we went every other week, sometimes two weeks in a row, it only comes out to 6-8 or so days per summer. Really not a lot. Which is weird, because, sure, next year we can go again, but next year, Callum will be two. Two is really different to one. Babies and kids change so rapidly. With adult friends and family, you kind of don't change as much, so you can recreate some of those moments from the past. But I only have that handful of days at the ocean with a one-year-old. And then a handful with a two-year-old. Etc. It's weird and kind of sad, right?

Last week, we had our “pre-Disney” summer party. “We” in this case was: Me, CJ, my Mom, Spence, his gf Natasha (I really like this kid, she is a great girl!) Meg, Chrissie, Tim, Gavin, Mason, my Uncle Don, and his gf Jen. We used to do those parties with Gran and my Dad, of course. This was the first one without them. So it was tough. And the trip is going to be tough, too. But still, I'm looking forward to it so much! I'm stoked beyond the telling of it. It's two more months. And we'll only be there for 6 days. But that's enough, I think, with a toddler, and with boarding the dogs. That's really my biggest worry, actually. I know CJ's going to have the Disney melt-downs, and there will be INCIDENTS, and craziness, and I'll probably be way too emotional. But it's just really hard for me to leave the dogs for that long. And I still can't figure out who to get to feed my goldfish, The Doctor, while I'm gone. I have to square that away. Two months is going to fly by. EVERYthing is flying by.

Tomorrow I'm going out kayaking with Dragon. We're taking a sunset kayak tour. Which is super weird, because two years ago, right after I very very very first got pregnant, I went out kayaking on the 28th with Lady Chrysanthemum. I just thought that was weird, you know, the wheel turns and all.

Sunday is already Powwow day! Wasn't I just there a few minutes ago, with tiny little CJ in the Ergo carrier, and my best friend, Glassworker? I bought him a little T shirt, thinking it would be forever until he was big enough to wear it, and he's already worn it a bunch of times. And now CJ will be walking around and probably picking out his own stuff that he wants.

And then on Tuesday, a HitRECord friend of mine from England is coming to visit! Which, EXCITEMENT omg. He's an incredible musician (he did music for a poem that I wrote, and also wrote and sang the wonderful song “Adieu,” for HitRECord On TV, which, HI, we won an Emmy for that show! :D ) and just about the sweetest person.

And then I start teaching a Hula class on Mondays in September – hopefully. If more people sign up.

I took a Saturday off mid-September, too, to have a yard sale. Maybe I can make some Disney money.

Then October and Disney and then Thanksgiving and Christmas and then the loooooooong, loooooong stretch of winter that I can't even bear to think about yet. I'm still not over last winter ffs. I can't deal with another like that. It was too much.

I'm always afraid to say, “Who knows what will be different next year?” because, literally, the last time I wrote that in my LJ, my Gran and my Dad passed within four months of each other. So, I'm not going to say that. I am going to hope that the rest of the year (oh, let's get ambitious and say the next TWENTY years!) can be as good as this summer has been. Even though things change so quickly, can it still be this good? I am going to hope that I will sign with a really rad literary agent (I've still got two manuscripts out, and still waiting to hear back from either or both agents.) I will hope to have less anxiety in general about things. Or, really, to work on that a bit, because it's not going to go away on its own.

Oh, while I'm here: CJ has six teeth, four donor siblings (though I've only been in contact with two families,) and a handful of words and phrases. Words like: hat, out, ant, balloon (“umboooon,”) and “AT?” while pointing to something, asking me to repeat what it is. And the same phrases he's always used: “I did it!” when I tell him he's done something well, OR when I tell him not to do something for pete's sake, (or, “THEY did it!” when I tell the dogs they're good,) and “It's good-good!” when he's eating oatmeal, or when I tell him something is “yucky” and not to eat it. :/ He plays ball, and has an orange car that he loves; a fuzzy, pink rocking horse that he likes to play with but will not sit on; a Mickey Mouse train; a musical chair; various Lilo and Stitch dolls etc. But given the choice, he'll always play with a DVD, remote control, the air purifier, or my cell phone. He loves books more than anything—ANYTHING—and is obsessed with “Go, Dog, Go,” and “Beep Beep.” He likes anything that says “beep beep,” which he copies by grunting twice. And he likes bees, which he calls “DIZ!” because of the buzzing. And he does animal noises, too, and a Donald Duck voice. Sort of. ^_^

I should really update LJ more often, but I get so lazy. CJ goes in for a nap and I usually just sit there looking at Tumblr and reading the stupid, depressing news. I always say that, but I never do it.

Since it's on my mind right now, I'd better go check Amazon for a fish self-feeder or something, and maybe a timer to turn the lights on and off.

I will absolutely check in with LJ more often. Will absolutely try. ^_^;;

I should have written this 2 weeks ago when it happened, but here it is now:

THERE'S AN AGENT LOOKING AT MY FULL MANUSCRIPT.

It's crazy. I changed the name to something that was similar to the title I dreamed about a few years ago. Actually no, it wasn't even a title I dreamed of; it was a lottery ticket with a word on it. And last month, I came across a scientific theory that sounded similar to that word, and weirdly fit perfectly with my book. I thought, Well, wow! I really like that! And maybe changing the title will get me a few nibbles. So I did, and sent out a query letter, and FIVE MINUTES LATER she wrote back saying she would love to read the whole thing.

I've got to wait, what, typically 6 months for a reply on a full. But I'm really stoked. She didn't ask for an exclusive, so I can query some others in good conscience, too.

Also in good news, my close relative got some good news regarding some medical results today and I couldn't be happier.

Yes, it snowed yesterday and it is miserably cold and not at all spring-like. But that bit of good news, and having a request for a full, is really making me feel all the happies.

Last week I went out with Gold Dragon to see Winter Soldier. It was so dang good and we had a great time together as always. Gold Dragon wanted to hang out after the movie, but I'm one of those Moms now who can't ask anyone to watch my baby past 11. So I took a rain check and we're going to go out to a nice dinner some Sunday instead.

And tomorrow, my best friend Glassworker is going to come over for a hang out.
Work is fine (though my bosslady had a sad occurrence / health upheaval – she's fine now, though,) clients are generally nice (except the ones who book two slots and then cancel them both, leaving me with NO clients on that day, wtf, who does that?!) and I got a raise! Woop! I actually got it sometime previously, but my boss didn't tell me, and I didn't notice it because my paycheck varies so much week to week.

I really miss Kung Fu these days. I especially miss my beautiful training family. Empress went to another school way out west (and she works and goes to college full time now.) Snarklit moved to Brooklyn. Chrysanthemum still trains once in a while when she's around. Gold Dragon works full time, doing graveyard shifts at the hospital and then catching up on sleep. I just miss them. I miss the shape I was in, too. I'm still thin but I have no muscle and no strength. Boo.

BUT. Manuscript. Family member's health scare over. New coat of paint in the living room. Hopefully some nice weather soon. TAX RETURN. For the first time since becoming LMT, I'm getting a return!

I'm also doing the April poem-a-day thing on HitRECord. Most of them suck, but once in a while I've gotten something good, and it's forced me to think, and to write, every day.

And CJ has finally got one tooth that you can actually see now. Every few days he'll say a word or two, then he'll stop saying it. “Fish” (“dick,) “book” (“guk”) “egg” (“ehh”) and the other day he said “Haku” clear as day. He's got some good sign language, too. (Eat, milk, cousin, hello and bye-bye.)

His first birthday party is coming up fast. Though, that is slightly depressing because after that, Jo-chan goes to work and we don't see her until next Fall. Summers are nice, but a little lonely because we get so few people coming by.

Maybe I'll try to get Mom, Boychild's Momma and Boychild to come with us on our Monday Summer walks again. That was really nice last year.

But here I am already thinking of summer, when it's 40 degrees today.

Come on Spring, get it the eff together!

A year ago on the 25th, it was a Saturday, and I went to the fertility clinic where they took me in an hour late. So I sat around watching a show about sea turtles and reading a magazine about Doctor Who. Then I went into the office, where I read Sherlock Holmes while I waited, because, as I told the nurse, if this worked, I wanted to have a smart baby. She said, "I Mama is smart, the baby will be, too!"

I left cautiously hopeful, and here I am today, with a little boy sleeping on my lap.

I try to take Callum somewhere for an hour or so every afternoon. It gets us both out of the house – though we can't ever stay for too long because of Haku. Today I decided to take some DVDs I'm trying to get rid of to the Yellow Barn by the library. But the library and Yellow Barn were both closed, and the drop boxes only accept books. I just gave about 50 books to my neighbor across the street for her yard sale.

So there I stood in the parking lot of the library, holding Callum's carrier on one arm and a huge bag of DVDs and tapes in the other, in the hot sun, when a blond woman in a sundress approached. She was on foot, and the only other person in the parking lot.

She asked, "Are you looking for something?"

I explained that I wanted to get rid o all of these DVDs but didn't want to just leave them there.

She said, "I walked over here from the shelter for abused and displaced women. I hope it's not rude of me to ask, but we don't have a really big video library there and one of the girls was just saying that she wanted to see more movies."

Wow, imagine that?! What great timing! I told her she could have all of them. She said, "How fortuitous! What are the chances?"

I gave her the bag, then offered her a ride back to the shelter, since it would be a long walk carrying all the DVDs. She accepted, and so we talked on the way back about astrology and baby names. (Because she really liked the name Callum. And she got it, too. "That's Gaelic," she said. "Colin is another version of it.")

Then I was going to take Callum for a pleasant walk through the cemetery down the road and take some photos, but I had forgotten my damn camera! >_< So instead, we visited my Mom at her work. Drex was working there too and he came to say hi.

It's funny, originally I was going to go to the store b/c I'm out of chocolate, but I didn't have any money to spend so I decided on the library instead. Neat!

Two days ago, I took Callum out to brunch with Lady Chrysanthemum, Empress and Snarklit. I have been missing the hell out of them so it was such a wonderful day, getting to see them. We haven't trained together in so long. I haven't trained in over a year, Empress is in school AND working at a dental clinic, and she now trains somewhere else. And Chrysanthemum has taken time off to be with her daughter, who was waiting on a baby of her own – who was just born yesterday!
She got in a little Grandma practice first:

And here's the lot of us, the old crew:

We talked—of course—about how much we miss Ye Olde Days of training, when we were all together at the cute, cozy school. When the Gold Dragon was there, and a bunch of really nice kids, and all the other folks who used to train with us. When our Kwon was like a family and we all had some TV Trope-ish role in class. It all kind of started to change when we moved schools, and different people came in and old ones left.

I still want that back. I miss it enough that I'll wait to have it again.

Well, we were all just feeling nostalgic, I guess. One day, Callum will train and hopefully I'll be training again, too. These people will always be my brothers and sisters.

Welp! It's been chilly at night and hot during the day, but you can definitely feel a hint of fall even in the afternoon. It's just a smell on the breeze. Jo-chan's school starts tomorrow, so she'll be living here part time. Can't wait for her to come back! Mom, and Boychild and Boychild's Mommy, and Callum and I have been going for evening walks on Mondays. It'll be nice to have her along, too.

Speaking of, she's having a BBQ later that Callum and I are going to. We're going to discuss the logistics of getting us all to Disney in 2014. :D

And so Autumn is around the corner! Yesterday I was looking at the FB pics a friend of mine posted. She's from HitRECord and she has this beautiful little boy. (He's so cute and smart, he's got his own section in the TV show! Which I'm going to be on, too!) Anyway, she has a pic of her and her son at around 6-7 months or so, walking through a pumpkin patch. Callum will only be 5 months in October, but I can't wait to get a pic like that, myself. :)

He's about to wake up any minute, so I have to cut this short!

Welp, 8 ½ months, the day of the baby shower!

( Here is the story in pictures (and probably some words: ) )

Oh, and here were the two cakes:

Yes, this is a Tiny Story from HitRECord:

And with this one, all I want to know is, WHO ATE URANUS?

It was extremely hectic, with about 55-60 people there. The day started out freezing, like about 38 degrees. But then it warmed up enough to go outside. I had my family members, Kung Fu family, Hula sisters, old friends from The Bad Place, new(ish) friends from the job I'm in now, neighbors, and even some people I didn't know. Some of them were my Mom's co-workers, who came to bring her Grandma gifts. :D

I'm pretty sure I have everything I need, even if it's not assembled yet. I had been looking forward to the baby shower forever. Now that it's done, the only thing left to do is have the actual baby.

So this was super nice. I mentioned in my last post that I'd made a little video for HitRECord to say what I planned to do with my check from them. I got this nice reply from Joe:

It always makes my day when he stops by to say something like that. ^_^ And yeah, whatever, I have screencapped all of his replies to me, just because they're always so kind, and sometimes really hilarious.

LOL tasteful.

It's not every day that you write a poem that JGL thinks is "fantastic and sexy." ^_^ Another time he said I was a "provocative and fun feminist writer."

For every rejection letter I get, I'm like, "Yeah, well, Joseph Gordon Levitt likes my stuff, so :P "

Welp, today is a week away from my baby shower. WOW, how did that happen? I'm looking forward to it, because I love any time I get to see all of my friends in one place. That happens so rarely. Obviously not everyone can make it, but a lot of people can and will be there. I just can't wait to see everyone. It's neat when your different groups of people can meet each other. Then you can show them off to each other. "Friends: This is my fantastic family! Family: Check out my awesome friends!"

I have SO MUCH cleaning to do. And not just "Oh, let me move this basket of clothes to this room and I'll get to them later," or your basic cleaning the toilet or wiping the counters and vacuuming. I mean like, shifting things around, scrubbing floors, all sorts of non-fun things like that. And tomorrow I have to go shopping for last minute stuff AND I have to work. That's TWO WHOLE THINGS I need to do in one day. What's up with that?

I just really want everyone to be comfortable on Sunday, have lots of space to move around, find everything clean and nice, and have a good time. And I neeeeed the weather to be warm and sunny. Weather gods, can we have that please? It is still so damn chilly here! We're supposed to be outside singing and dancing! Because yes, there will be dancing.

Mom offered Dad's old dresser for the baby. It's nearly an antique. Or, I don't know, maybe it isn't, but it's from the 50s or so. My Dad sanded it and painted it black in the 70s and it's really slick. I think that's such a cool idea, but I hate the thought of Mom giving up Dad's dresser. I think that's probably going to be tough. I'm a little torn.

I should stop stalling and start cleaning. There's just no way around it!

So even though I just found out that my job probably won't be there when I get back from maternity leave (more on this later,) here is some GOOD news: It's spring, and Sano has all his platelets! (*Knock on wood!*) The only thing I changed was adding coconut oil to his diet, on the anecdotal "evidence" that it's helped human ITP patients keep their platelets up. His entire CBC was normal.

I also had Haku's Zonisamide levels checked, because the drug seemed to not be working too well, and we (Wizard Vet and I,) wanted to see if there was room to raise the dose. But actually, the dose is already pretty high, so there's no wiggle room. He's 3.5 weeks from the last seizure – but it's Spring, and the full moon, and Spring always triggers seizures with him. The next step is switching to Keppra. But, I'm going to see how it goes for a while, first.

Anyway, yeah, my job. Bosslady's sister (her babysitter,) is moving to California, and her husband works 70 hrs a week. There's no way she can continue working, so she can't keep the business open. She's been trying to sell for over a year now, but hasn't found any buyers. Originally, whoever bought the place was going to "buy" all the therapists, too. But now all the therapists are bailing (except me.) So unless she gets a buyer, who wants to "buy" me as well, I won't have a job when I get back from leave.

I did ask my boss if she planned to open something smaller. She does, in the autumn. I hadn't planned on waiting that long to go back to work (I seriously can't afford that,) but I asked her if she would consider taking me with her when she went, if I couldn't find something before then. She said she would.

So basically, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get work when she reopens elsewhere, but not for a while. There are a few other clinics around, and I know places are typically looking to hire therapists, but with a newborn, it's going to be difficult to find work. Especially a job that's going to fit my exact schedule of when I have child-care (and dog-care!) and when I don't.

I'm wondering if I could collect unemployment in the meantime, since my job would basically be going out from under me? But then, I'm sub contracted, so I have no idea if it works like that.

This past weekend I was at a seminar for pre-natal and post-natal massage. It was pretty awesome, because they didn't have enough volunteers, so for the first day, I got to volunteer for the entire session. First massage I've had in about a year and a half, seriously. What's more, I actually learned more about pregnancy and childbirth in those two days than I did from all of my various OBGYNs. Very enlightening.

Well, it's Springtime, and the snow has (mostly) thawed. Today I took the dogs to the park and I ditched my coat in the car. It wasn't exactly warm, but it was non-cold, and you could acknowledge that the sun radiated heat occasionally.

Tomorrow, I have a lunch date with Lady Chrysanthemum, SnarkLit, and the Empress (who sprained her ankle at a tournament – ouch! Poor Empress!) I haven't seen them in AGES and I am dying to have some time with them. I miss training, so fiercely. At least I get to see them. (All of which involves either boarding Haku for a few hours, or giving him a little bit extra phenobarb; haven't decided yet.)

The next month is shaping up to be pretty crazy, with a baby shower, fixing up the new room, washing and sorting clothes, OMG, all kinds of things that I can't even think about right now.

But it's Spring! Winter is over!

All right, y'all know how I feel about this white-ass holiday and celebrating the slaughter of indigenous peoples, but it is still a day to show thanks for what we have. And I have tons of privileges and lots to be thankful for. Our family is doing Thanksgiving tomorrow instead of today, but in the spirit of the thing, here's my list.

My Mom! She is the best. I couldn't have asked for a better mom. And then in the last few years, the way she not only went back to work, but quickly climbed to a supervisor position after only being there for a little over a year, is pretty inspiring. Also, thankful that I had the Dad and grandparents that I had to raise me.

My close family, too. From my awesome cousins and their lovely son across the street who are always right there to help out, or for a laugh, or a few slices of pizza, to my other awesome cousins SB and Jo-Chan who are like a brother and sister to me, to my actual brother, and a small handful of aunts and uncles, (a very small handful,) I'm thankful that I get to see them or at least talk to them so often.

Some truly great friends, especially by best friend Kim. Some of my longest friendships, Drex and Durga. And of course, the always inspiring Empress, Chrysanthemum, Snarklit, Clydius Maximus, Dragon, McK, Sifu, Lao Shir... Most of them are from Kung Fu, obviously. And some of my friends are from when I worked at The Bad Place. It took me a long time to make friends, but the ones I have, I hope to keep forever.

The fact that I am apparently super healthy (*knock on wood!*) and super fertile, as well! Next year, I'll be thankful for having some bizarre little offspring running around and pooping all the time. Crazy!

My awesome Ninja Wizards. Those are my dogs and crow, in case you guys don't already know that. I know everyone thinks their pets are the cutest, the smartest, the most special – and you're all right, too. :) I've been through lots of crap with my guys and the way they all adapt is pretty amazing. And let's not forget my goldfish, The Doctor, either.

HULA. I'm so thankful that I can dance, and I'm thankful to the Hawaiian culture for sharing this with me.

My internet pals, old and new. I've known some of you for over ten years now. Imagine that? All the fandoms, all the squeeing, and then getting to know people outside of fandom, too. Some of you I've met, and some I've yet to meet, but I count you all as friends.

HITRECORD. Not only because these were the first (and so far only!) folks to publish me, and not only because I have all the resources I need to make whatever kind of dumb film I want, or that people use my resources to make their own art. That's all cool and stuff, but I'm thankful to have met some good friends on HitRECord, too. I'm sorry that I missed you all during the tour this year. Hopefully there will be something next year and we can all get together again. I haven't gotten any novels published yet, but Joseph Gordon Levitt thinks I'm a pretty great writer. And that is awesome.

I have a good job with a really terrific boss.

I have a home.

I have food, clean water, electricity, a computer, a warm bed, a TV. Money is always a struggle and a big worry, but I can't complain too much when I have all these privileges.

I'm also really thankful that I'm mostly happy. I know folks who have all of these privileges and more, but suffer from depression. I know what anxiety disorder is like, but depression and other mental illnesses are devastating and I'm thankful for my brain chemistry that allows me to feel this happiness.

And let's not forget, as always: There are good movies to watch, good music to listen to, good novels to read, fascinating science to learn, delicious food to eat, and all other sorts of interesting things in the world.

Whew, long list, and I'm sure I left a lot of things off, but I guess those are the basics.

Stuff I did in the first trimester:

Gagged a lot.
Ate poorly, lost weight.
Slept a lot.
Randomly became allergic to henna (massive hives.)
Watched Lawless in the movie theater (the day before the then-zygote "stuck," I think.)
Watched Looper in the movie theater, while eating grapes and trying not to throw up.
Played Resident Evil 6.
Wrote a Halloween story.
Got a laptop for my birthday.
Worked, but not a lot, because work is very slow now.
Made videos for HitRECord.
Worried about molar pregnancy, Downs Syndrome, the NT and trisomy tests.
Ignored a mandatory evacuation. Went without power for 5 days.
Went to my friend's wedding.

Stuff that happened:

BARACK OBAMA RE-ELECTED.
Gay marriage passed in Maine, Washington and Minnesota.
Senate elections good for women, people of color, and disabled.
Hurricane Sandy!
Nor'easter the following week.

YES, so, the election! Oh man, I could not be happier with the way things turned out. I was sweating this one big time. I was 4 years ago, too, but this one seemed more vital to me. We needed to elect Obama twice. It had to happen.

I watched the elections with my Mom and Jo-chan this time. Four years ago, it was with Glassworker, but she was at work last night. This was Jo-chan's first time voting and I really wanted it to go her way, too. It's a great feeling when you win on your first shot. :D When they called the election, my Mom had gone into the shower, but Jo and I got up to dance and scream. She was moonwalking and I did the Eleventh Doctor's dance before going out onto the porch and screaming "YEEEAAAAAAH!"

It was good. I woke up a few times during last night and went, "OBAMA? YES, OBAMA! *relieved sigh*" and then went back to sleep.

This morning I got up to find messages on my phone, but we had a small power outage (AGAIN) overnight, and now my messages are broken and I can't retrieve them. Which was awful, because I'd been waiting on my overdue Trisomy tests to come back. Let me tell you, I chased the doctor's office and even all the way up to the stupid testing company, calling them all about three times a day to find out what the eff was going on. Turns out, they had lost some of my paper work. So when I saw I had a message this morning, I knew they'd finally straightened it out.

I spoke to my favorite doctor and she asked how I was feeling. "Relieved," I told her, "since the election is over." She laughed and went, "Yeah, WOOO!" And then she told me that the tests were all negative, and that it was a boy.

Now I need to think of some boy names!

Other good news: Sunday my friend Jennel got married. We worked together at The Bad Place and were very close. Her Dad passed a year after my Dad did, and then after that we grew closer. We don't get to visit each other often, but we still talk on the phone and on FB a lot.

It took me forever to decide what to wear, but in the end everyone dressed in their own style anyway, and I shouldn't have been worried. Jennel, of course, looked gorgeous. The ceremony was small, short, and very sweet. Afterwards we all had a terrific dinner, and some dancing. It was lovely to be out there dancing with some of my old pals from The Bad Place, because there are a few of those girls whom I still really love. Also, we did Gangnam Style, which was pretty great.

Jennel had a memorial to her dad arranged, with a photo of her parents' wedding and the boutineer he would have worn. I thought that was a great idea. We stood around chatting about our Dads and getting emotional for a little while.

Another thing happened, which I'll talk about in a locked post.

And now, here we are with another storm on our hands. Everyone else seems to have snow, but we just have freezing rain and insane wind gusts. It is like, Silent Hill cold out there and it's only Nov. 7, wtf. I can't take this.

Also, since Halloween was more or less cancelled because of the hurricane, I've been jonzing like crazy for the holidays. I can't explain it. All I want is Thanksgiving, and then stupid holiday songs and lights, and shopping and annoying bells ringing and all of that junk. And I'm not the only one. Jo-chan is feeling the same exact way. We walk around singing Good King Wenceslas all the damn time. It's ridiculous.

Oddly, I keep flashing back to the holiday chorus shows I used to do in high school. That was always one of my favorite parts of the holiday season, going to the school at night, dressed up, (we always had to wear black and white,) singing all those Christmas songs and ending with Hallelujah Chorus. Mr. Roberts, the choral director, would invite anyone in the audience to come up and sing along. Mostly he got alumni and I remember looking at them thinking, "One day when I'm grown up and awesome and people don't hate me anymore, I'm going to get up here to sing with all the kids, and everyone who's mean to me now will be so jealous." How those people would even know, or care that I was for some reason back in my high school singing along with my old teacher, I never really thought about. It was one of those things.

That was a tangent if ever there was one. Anyway, so I'll talk more about the other thing that happened in a locked post. But maybe tomorrow, because I'm going to bed now. Obama kept me up till after 2 last night! Well, not Obama, but maybe Mitt Romney. I wanted to wait for Obama's speech, but apparently Romney hadn't bothered to write his concession speech so the entire country had to wait on him. :/

So, more tomorrow, then.

Yesterday I woke up to the news that uncle John Koko had died. (John Koko was the guy you probably knew, even if you didn't know you knew him. If you listened to Isreal Kamakawiwo'ole's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" song, you kinda knew uncle John. Iz was with The Makaha Sons, and John Koko sang and played bass with them.)

I met the Makaha Sons for the first time in 2000, at my first Hula seminar. I had been listening to their music for a year, and by then they elevated to Rock Star status with me. (With most dancers, actually.) So when I went to their concert, and the CD signing afterwards, I was very star-struck and a little intimidated. But, not only were Moon, John and Jerome completely approachable, they were totally fun. In fact, I had to call my Mom and Dad and tell them that I was standing there meeting THE MAKAHA SONS. Uncle Jerome actually got on the phone while I was talking to my Mom and said, "Do you know who this is? Lemme give you a hint." And he started singing "White Sandy Beach to her."

That night, the rest of my halau went out to a steakhouse. I stayed behind because there was nothing on the menu for me. I'm glad I did, because I went to the hotel restaurant, where I met uncle Moon. He was eating alone, too. So we sat down and started talking. We talked for hours, literally until around 2:30 AM. He asked me how serious I was about Hula, and I told him "completely." We exchanged email addresses, and after that, he started giving me free lessons in Hawaiian via email. Sometimes five or six emails a day.

Two years later, I went to Hawai'i. Uncle Moon wasn't able to meet up with me, but the Koko brothers (John and Jerome,) and their wives, Toni and Yolanda, were. The four of them picked me up in their truck, greeted me with tons and tons of leis, and then drove me all around Waikiki all afternoon. They showed me 'Iolani palace. We went to lunch at Sam Choi and saw a show. Uncle John kept telling everyone we met that I was their publicist in New York.

Every year or so, they would do a show in Florida or New York, and my family would always try to schedule a Florida trip to coincide with theirs. My Dad loved Makaha Sons; in fact it's probably not too far off to say that they were his favorite modern band. Everyone in my family adored them. We saw them in Florida once, and my Gran got to meet them, too. At one of these shows, every time uncle John would take a drink of water, he'd announce into the mic: "Beverage!" Well, this became a running gag throughout the show. Eventually it turned dirty—as most references did at these shows—but I can't for the life of me remember in what context.

Thereafter, every show following that, there were always a few a-holes in the audience who would yell out "BEVERAGE!" between songs. I'm not ashamed to admit I was often that a-hole. John would always shout it back though, saying, "The beverage crew is here again!"

A few years ago, they came to New York. Mom, Dad, and Jo-chan and I went to see them. In the middle of the show, Uncle Jerome said, "I want Jules and her family to stand up!" And then they dedicated "Take A Walk In The Country" to us. We met up with them after the concert. Uncle John was always such a big flirt, always telling my Mom how pretty she is and making her blush.

Eventually we all got onto Facebook. Uncle John was really the only one from the group who really got into it. Every day he would post a "Kokolicious" joke, or do a survey, or put up a silly picture. He shared his beautiful paintings, and every year, he would put up his Playgirl Calendar starring himself. He had over 5000 friends on FB and he knew us all. He always had a comment for everyone, and a random, unexpected PM just to say "Aloha, hope you're having a Kokolicious day!"

When my Dad died almost 3 years ago, I took all my Makaha Sons songs off my iPod. I just couldn't bear to listen to them anymore, because they were something I had shared with him. It wasn't until last summer that I was able to hear them again. I had missed their music so much. Last year, I taught a Hula to one of their songs and it was so good to do that again.

But now once again I'm too sad to listen to them. I wish everyone else would, since I can't – at least not for a while.

I know Uncle John meant a lot to lots of different people, and of course the real tragedy is his family's: He was only 51, with four sons and he'd just had a granddaughter, too, only a few months ago. But, this is just how I knew him, and what he meant to me. And this whole thing is just too sad to handle. Also, Facebook is so dreary without him.

Haku's seizures are getting closer and closer together again. He had one this morning at around 6:30. That's only twelve days since the last one. I called Genius Vet and she said she would like to test his Kbr levels. ($151 jesus) Also, while he's there, she'll put an acupuncture tack in his ear to see if that helps. (Which she will do for free because she's the BEST.) So that's going to be on Thursday. If neither of those things work, then it's time to try Keppra. Which is supposed to be a great drug and awesome and no side effects (but honestly, everything has side effects,) and if it comes to that, then that's what we'll do. Except Keppra is a few hundred bucks a month. *cries* Why can't medicine be cheap?

One thing I need to remember to ask about is the side effects of raising Krb to 3 ML. I don't like what I'm reading there and he's already at 2.5.

Also, my chiropractor said he would take a look at Haku, too. So maybe I'll give him a call and see if I can bring Haku on in Thursday, closing time.

In non-dog related news, my own Dr. appointment is tomorrow re: the Sjogren's syndrome thing and the lymph nodes that he wants to "take a closer look at." So we'll see about that. And then the following Thursday I have another Dr. appointment. It's like I'm making up for lost time, weeee! AND, Monday I have an appointment with my boss, who is an acupuncturist. I've only ever had that once, when she put a tack in my ear, and the effect was immediate. I'm a little nervous, but still looking forward to it. It should be interesting.

Three of my favorite birds this year have died, so that sucks. However, two days ago I released my twelve starlings, just by opening the aviary door and letting them mosey on out whenever they wanted. Which worked out great, except within the last two days, they've all mosied back on in. Actually, that's fine; I don't have anyone else in the aviary, so they can come and hang out in it for a while if they want.

Also on Sunday, I finally got together with my friend Jennel, after ages and ages of us trying to get together. I'm not even kidding when I say that, in the past, every time we've made plans, something horrible has happened to prevent it. Like, catastrophe, hospital, accident, sickness horrible. But on Sunday she came by, I set up my massage table, we did tarot readings and had pizza and talked for hours and it was great. The curse is broken. :)

Tonight, Jo-chan is coming by because she's minding Boychild (and Haku) tomorrow.

Oh man, it's the early afternoon and the dogs are jumpy. I'm jumpy too. Apparently, yesterday, someone got raped a few blocks from here. They haven't apprehended anyone yet (in fact, there is no news on this at all, anywhere.) And just an hour or so ago, shots were fired on the next street over. I actually heard them and thought maybe hunters were out and about in the woods, even though I don't think it's hunting season anymore. What is happening to this place?

Today was glorious (if still COLD,) and I got to have lunch in town with The Empress, Lady Chrysanthemum, and Snarklit. We were to celebrating Empress's graduation, and we went to the same little place that Chrysanthemum and I went to over the winter. I had to leave the dogs of course, which was nerve-wracking, but my cousin stopped by here to check on them while I was out.

The restaurant is cute, but the parking situation is abysmal and I practically had to park in Nassau and walk the rest of the way. Here's a little moment that I liked: As I walked toward the restaurant, a dude was walking toward me, maybe a few years younger than me or thereabouts. I smiled at him because I felt like it and he tipped a pretend hat and said, "Good afternoon, Miss. How are you?" I told him "Fine, thanks; have a great day." The whole thing with the fake hat tip was so cute, and I was really pleased.

Anyway. I told Empress I'd stand outside and flag her down. While I was standing there, looking at my messages, some guy drove past and yelled "HEYYYYY!" I mean really? What is that supposed to accomplish? I looked up to give him a stink eye, just in time to see him rear-end the person in front of him. LOL dumbass.
Empress drive by about a minute later, and I said I'd show her a parking spot. So she was driving down the road and I was running down the opposite side of the road to show her to a place. A woman behind her kept standing on the horn (I mean, she could have gone around really easily,) and I looked over to see what was going on and the woman yelled at me, "MIND YOUR BUSINESS."

Thanks, Riverhead.

By the time we all got parked, they had given away our reserved table outside. WTF.

But we went inside and ordered, and talked about chili peppers that can kill you, duriens, monk-hood, travel, and eventually of course, Kung Fu. Chrysanthemum gave us each these little, knitted Kung Fu keychains that she'd picked up in Bangkok. Awesome.

We ate our lunches and yammered on for an hour or so before going down to the river to walk around and take some photos.

( Lunch and Peconic River )

After a while we walked back to freaking Nassau pretty much to get to our cars. I was home by around 3.

I took the dogs outside and I had the weirdest feeling of like, some strange kind of peace, mixed in with a touch of melancholy, I can't even describe it. I took a pic of these flowers in my yard:

The only time I can remember this specific feeling was August 6th 2006 after a Hula show that I did once. And the day was kind of terrible really; I was unhappy with the show, the people who hired me, how I was treated and everything. Yet that day when I came home, I remember exactly feeling that totally serene and strangely also melancholy feeling.

But it's a good feeling, that's the weirdest part.

And it was immediately followed by a sense of panic: "It's so nice today. Something bad is bound to happen." Which is ridiculous and I promised myself I wasn't going to let anxiety backtalk me like that anymore. Let's see if I can keep that promise.

Work tomorrow, then Mother's Day festivities probably with cousins and Mom and possibly aunt, and then on Monday after work I think I'm going with CeceAnn to see Avengers. CeceAnn hasn't been to the movies since The Birdcage, not even kidding. 1996. That's like a tragedy. Tuesday, work and Kung Fu and then etc.

Good times, though.

I've been doing lots of yardwork this year on my days off. This is the first year since Dad that I've actually made an effort to make things nice again out there. I kind of had a block against it for a while – I guess because Dad would always lend me the gardening tools, help me set things up, stuff like that. But this year, maybe it's a combination of having a little pool again, and of things having looked like total hell for the last few years (and the broken aviary, stuff like that,) that's making me want to tidy up and Have Nice Things again.

( Here are some springtime photos: )

As you can see, both dogs are up and running again (*knock on wood!*)

Last night at Kung Fu, we did some staff drills. The *clack clack clack* sound of the staffs hitting against each other is pleasing. I know it's a martial art, but it sounds friendly. I was partnering with Snarklit.

Empress came hobbling on by (she sprained her ankle) and the three of us started talking about maybe doing a group outing or something, going for lunch and kayaking when Lady Chrysanthemum gets back.

Apart from that, there is some stuff going on in other aspects of life which I will eventually need to address in some locked posts.

Meanwhile, here are some phrases that people searched when they found this LJ:

tricks to a great fa'arapu - Keep your feet super close together. Bend your knees. When walking, go up on your toes. PRACTICE. :)

she looked at him again and smiled as she undid the buttons of his shirt. he felt her doughy fingers on him - Hmm, that is a part of my ms that I posted for a meme that a literary agent sent around. That was fun, but who is googling my phrase? O_O

who is the father of kaumakaiwa kanakaole - Kaipo Frias? I think?

silmaryn for dogs - It's good stuff, but expensive if you get it from the vet. I'm not sure where else to get it, BUT, if the liver problem is not acute, then straight up milk thistle can help. :)

i'm stuck in my bra - O_O I'm sorry to hear that. This happened to me once, when I had to wear a halter heart monitor.

hypochondria als ms fears - I went through this recently. If you want to talk, send me a message. :)

how long does milk thistle take to work - That depends on what the issue is, the severity, your age, size, and the dose. But often you can get results in a few weeks.

sifu sihing sije - Your training instructor (translates to "uncle," actually,) your elder training brother, and your elder training sister.

ewan mcgregor pillow penis - I'd sleep on it!

hesher std - I thought so, too!

"illusionary crime against sephiroth" - I always liked how Cloud was the only one who acknowledged that Sephiroth was actually a victim, as well as a villain.

why does my cornea peel - Maybe your eyes are dry?

Anyway, I hope at least a few of you found what you were looking for. That's nice when that happens, isn't it?

And here I am on the other side of my birthday again! It was mostly a good one (until Haku's seizure tonight.)

To start with, the HitRECord Halloween show is going to be so amazing as to amaze all the balls. AMAZEBALLS. That's what it's going to be. There are so many cool collabs to contribute my nonsense to, and a lot of it goes over really well. People are enjoying using my Dad's Night Of The Goblins song for their Halloween videos, which is the coolest thing ever.

Last night my best friends Glassworker and Lady Chrysanthemum took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant. It was my Dad's favorite too, and I haven't been back to it since Dad's been gone. But last night, it was all right. We had baked stuffed clams that I love, awesome entrees, and we talked about Occupy Wall Street and what books we were each reading. Chrysanthemum gave me a gorgeous set of little bird stationary cards, and Glassworker gave me this frigging fantastic Amazon gift card and one of her great big heavy colorful glass necklaces. YUMMY.

My Mom got me a TARDIS and fat. You know, the Adipose baby from Dr. Who. And my friend Homeslice got me actual fat. Funny story with that. I was sitting on my living room floor carving my newest jack o'lantern when the dogs started barking. I looked out of my door to see a package in a cooling bag, and my friend Homeslice walking down my drive. I was like "WHAT, HUH?" and I ran out to catch him. He was like, "Oh, I wasn't sure if you were home but I wanted to leave you this gift!" We talked for a while and I brought the package inside and it was FOUR PINTS OF BEN AND JERRY'S OMG. Two of them are already gone. :D

I have the best friends, right?

I worked today, and even though my first two clients cancelled on me, it wasn't so bad. First thing when I got in, the receptionist (what was I calling her? Beautiful Hair or something?) handed me a bag of prezzies. What is this? I have never worked at a place where they give birthday gifts! It ended up being over $100 worth of lotions, creams, lipgloss etc. from the company that we endorse (all organic, fair trade, no animal products, environmentally friendly, imported GORGEOUS stuff.) Could not believe it. How lucky am I?

Then my number one client asked about the lip gloss and I said, "Oh, I got that for my birthday" and she asked when, I told her today and she was like "Oh how nice! Happy birthday!" etc. After the treatment she hustled out of there and when I opened the envelope she left me there was a fifty dollar tip, OH MY GOD.

I went out to lunch and got my favorite sandwich. :)

THEN. Before I went home, I stopped at Best Buy to see if they could upgrade my phone / plan. The Androids were on sale for $99 and I was like, "Well, wow. Can't not." I've never texted or anything, but I think it's going to be helpful if I'm going to be in the city next week. Also, in case I get lost, or I need a cab or something, right? And a lot of the HitRECord shows are audience participation via Twitter and I needed something like that. So! Here I am with an Android phone! I was really looking very hard at the iPhone 4S because I totally loved the idea of Siri. I thought, How cool was that? But something about it sketched me out. I think it's because it only comes in a female voice. Why do all assistants need to be female? There's no dude voice, and the female voice is programmed to take harassment if you say rude things to her (such as, "Yes, you are my daddy." I mean WHAT?) I really love the idea of it and if it ever gets updated to something a little less sketchy I might look into that. But in the meantime, I went for the Android. I've been dicking around with it all night and it is very, very fly.

I am so psyched about next week, I can't even. I just can't. I cannot can. I have lost the ability to can. Not only is it the HitRECord show which is going to be effing fantastic, but it's also the Halloween parade which I have never seen, and I'm going to meet my brother for lunch, too. I haven't seen my brother in about two years. We have the same birthday. ^_^ We talk on the phone a lot, but hardly get to see each other.

Right, so I work tomorrow and have Kung Fu, and then I'm off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and I'm going to finish up my costume and maybe make a video about Halloween for the collab.

Jo-chan is house-sitting for Boychild's Mama and Daddy while the 3 of them are away at Disney, so she's right across the street for nearly 2 weeks, and over here a lot of the time. It's so cool to have her around a lot.

I don't want to jinx anything but I really like this Autumn.

I promised (myself) an epic update, and then never delivered. So hey, what's up, LJ? Haven't seen you in a while, there.

I've been getting some awesome hours at work this past week, which has gone a long way to offsetting the loss of hours the week before. I hope it continues, although I will be needing Halloween off.

So two nights ago, the HitRECord Fall Formal that I was so excited about last year, until it was canceled, (and rightly so,) finally took place. In L.A.

Honestly, I felt pretty bummed about it. I totally understood the cancelation, but when you're re-scheduling the show for the following year, why not have it in the same state? This way, people who were going to go the first time, could, you know. Go? And it was epic. Gary Oldman was there, Neil Patrick Harris. There was singing, dancing, all sorts of revelry. At one point, apparently, even I appeared on the big screen: This clip got screened at the show. I appear at :42 seconds in. ^_^ ) Cool, huh? Still, I wanted to go.

So I went on HitRECord and said, you know, it would be really awesome if you could bring the show, or something like it, to NY. And hey, just think about it! Halloween is coming up. Masquerade ball, NYC? Is this tickling any fancies?

And then, yeah, that happened. So! I need to finish my costume. I've already got my tix. Also, I'm hoping that my wonderful internet friend of, like, 11 years or so, will be flying out too. We could even spend a few days together and it would be nothing short of epic.

So that's that! This all just happened today.

I've been a bit preoccupied with Occupy Wall Street, too. This is the revolution that I was afraid would never happen. I've signed on for any local meet-ups. You can also send food, clothes, other necessities to the people actually occupying Wall Street. It's really easy to send a pizza or something; anyone can do it from anywhere in the world, via online order form. One thing they don't tell you on the website though, is that they ask for a cross street. The cross street is Wall Street.

I also promised I'd talk a bit about the movie 50/50, which I did get to see the weekend it came out. I knew it was going to trigger every neurosis I own, and of course, it did. Because it's the true story of a young man who does everything right, takes care of himself, etc. and then starts getting this nagging pain in his back that obviously ends up being cancer.

And while it did literally trigger every neurosis I own (my own nagging back pain started that very night, and while logically I knew exactly what it wasn't, it still kept me awake for about three nights in a row,) it was actually quite an awesome movie. I legitimately laughed and cried. It's not often I can say that totally without irony. The entire cast was pitch perfect. Seth Rogan's timing is spot on. He was so inappropriate that you kind of had to enjoy him.

The rest of it was kind of bone-jarringly brutal, at least in some places. One second it would be funny, and the next, so honest that you were sitting there cringing.

I can't say enough praise about Joe, obviously, so I'll try to scale it back a bit. He was just really fearless like he always is in roles. It seems to me that when I really enjoy an actor or actress, that's the quality I find myself commenting on the most. They can put aside that fear of being judged or whatever, and just tell the story. I have no idea how they do that. Joe does the Kicked Puppy thing insanely well, also.

However, I think that Angelica Houston stole the show. There was one part with her (OMG, the part where she wants to make tea,) that made me tear up. It felt so much like something I would do in that situation. And then, towards the end – I don't want to really give out any spoilers. It was harsh. And the whole arc with her husband / his father. Wow, it's hard to describe how a movie could kick you in the nuts so often and with such force, then turn around and tickle you.

Now then, what else? I've been hanging out with Jo-chan, had an awesome time hanging with Wonderful Glassworker (we watched Dexter, the Dr. Who episode Blink, and we had the most gorgeous pizza ever, and utterly badass ice cream from Snowflake.) I'm almost to the end of the Tenth Dr.'s run, and I keep putting off watching the last few episodes.

Oh, I know. I finally had a chance to talk to the Gold Dragon for a really long time the other night. That's because he saw my Mom at her work, and they got to talking for a while. Then all my Mom's girl friends who work with her came stalking over all like, "OMG WHO WAS HE, HE IS SO CUTE, THAT SMILE, THOSE DIMPLES" etc. and she was just like, "yeah, whatever. :D " Anyway, so I had to call him to tell him this and we ended up on the phone for over an hour, trying to figure out a day when we're both off work so we could get together. We must have laughed for about ten minutes straight; I seriously could not breathe and had tears streaming down. Finally he said, "Damn, I really miss this. I miss us." So that settles it, we're just going to have to make the time. ^_^

I really need to stop starting my new paragraphs with "Oh, I know." Or actually, maybe I should implement that in my novel. Instead of chapter breaks, I'll say, "Oh, I know what else," or maybe, "Anyways." That would go over well, huh?

Speaking of, I got one more rejection for the query. Did I mention that already? But I also found a few other agents who rep what I write. So I still have some cake. I just have to cut the slices really thin.

Also, I got re-tweeted by William Gibson the other night, and I think that's a sign. :D (We were playing "fairy tales minus one letter." I did: Now White, Earskin, The Fro Prince, The Rave Mound, Taterhood, Twelve Moths, The Two Bothers, Fair Bro, Fondling Bird, The Old Itch, and The Red Hoes. He liked "Now White" but honestly, my favorite was "The Fondling Bird.")

A few days ago it was upwards of about 80 degrees, but today it's chilly, blustery, rainy, windy, and just a tad raw. I took the plants in on October 5th this year.

And that's that, I think. There's one more thing that I want to post, but it's going in a separate entry.

BLEDELEHLEHLEH of course, there is one more thing I have yet to update on: Work. I'm at my 6 month anniversary already. :) For my anniversary, I asked if we could get rid of that one horrible CD that haunts me. Actually, it is kind of funny in that one of the other therapists there likes to troll me by putting the eversucking thing on repeat.

Our Bai Si tea ceremony took place on 9/11. Originally, it was supposed to be 8/28, but then of course a hurricane came and blew us away.

My Mom came with me, and she brought Dad's wallet and shield, which I thought was really awesome. She took all the pics, too.

I was ridiculously nervous before the ceremony, wondering if we were all going to have to demo something, say a speech, or anything like that. But really it was quite simple. We did the tea ceremony just as I remembered it from last time, when I saw it a few years ago (when Gold Dragon, Empress, Quick-Wit Boy and a few others got inducted into Sixth Generation.) We all sit in front of Sifu, hear a few speeches from him and from other Sifus on the meaning of Kung Fu, the lineage, where our style comes from, what it means to be inducted, etc. This way the people in the audience get a good idea of what's going on, too.

And then we bring incense to the ancestral wall, which had pictures / paintings of Si-Gung and Jo-Si (meaning, your Sifu's Sifu and his Sifu before him, etc.) Everyone takes a turn bowing three times to the altar and then putting incense in front of it.

Then, we all line up and offer tea to Sifu. He accepts the tea, and off we go, again to the altar to say thanks. That's it! The whole thing took a few hours.

Sifu also explained to everyone why he chose the people he did. This part is nice, because you get to hear excellent things about your friends, and of course, also about yourself. It's hard not to blush when it's your turn. When Sifu was talking about, say, Snarklit being "a good man in every sense of the word," and Chrysanthemum being "a pioneer in martial arts" and the Empress being "the rock that Green Cloud is built on," all I could do was sit there and nod in fervent agreement.

When it came to be my turn, I knew it was going to get emotional, and of course, it was. Sifu spoke about how I had lost my Dad, and everything looked really bleak. He said that he watched as I picked myself up, finished school, got my degree, got a job, etc. In the middle of all of this, he burst into tears, and then so did Empress, and of course I'm standing up there trying my best not to do the same. (This is why I should never wear makeup, haha.) He said he was honored to take the role of "father" whenever he could.

He said that, like Chrysanthemum, I was a pioneer in martial arts, because it is still such a male dominated sport. And that I was never afraid to show up for sparring and get knocked around with the best of them.

I never really thought of it before, aside from once in a while noticing that Chrysanthemum, Empress and I are often the only women in this huge class, surrounded by big, muscle-y, sweaty boys and men. Yet there's not a single guy in the school who could take Empress in a fight. ^_^ Except Sifu, that is.

Sixteen people were inducted in this ceremony. That makes Twenty-two in all. Out of twenty-two, four of us are women. (One of them was inducted a long time ago and no longer teaches.) This isn't because Green Cloud doesn’t tend to induct women (two of GC’s most famous, decorated practitioners are women,) but because not a lot of women join. As Sifu pointed out, statistically, women tend to join the kickboxing class rather than Kung Fu.

Kung Fu isn’t for every woman, just like marriage, kids, cycling, boxing, fishing, writing, cooking, dating, celibacy, fashion, ANYTHING isn't for every woman. But it is for me, and I’m very honored to be a part of this group.

( And of course, tons of pics! )

For anyone wondering what the certificate does say, this is it:

So these are the notes I took on Haku's bloodwork:

Liver elevated, only slightly. 131 is normal he is 197. We'll wait on that. T4 can affect liver too.

Kidneys are okay

Thyroid low .3 - going to add free T4. Probably tuesday.

PB is a bit low 15-45 is normal and he's 24. So room to grow.

I'm so pleased that his kidneys and everything else (aside from liver) are within range. I'm concerned about his liver values because he's only 6, and that's a young age for it to start spiking already. This could be from the phenobarb (which is why I'm hesitant to raise it once a year) but a little research showed me that liver values can also be raised due to low thyroid. His vet is sending out the rest of the blood for a free T4, so that will tell a bit more.

Last year when he had three seizures in a day, I panicked and rushed to raise the phenobarb without checking everything else. So now I'm trying to chill a bit and look for more options. Actually I'm waiting for his other vet to call me back, so I can throw some ideas around with her because she is amazing.

In other news, on Wednesday (today is Monday) I released three birds: Reid, Penelope and Emily. I've seen Emily flying around the house, just today I saw Penelope, and every single day I see Reid. He comes back to the aviary a few times a day looking for food. So I've taken to putting worms and seed in a dish for him in front of the aviary door. He flies gorgeously and he won't let me catch him to put him back in. He's weathered a few thunderstorms and heavy rains already, so I know he's doing all right. He just wants the food I was feeding and doesn't want anything else. A few years ago, I had a few starlings that kept coming back for about a month after release, but aside from them, I think this is the first time that a bird has so aggressively hung onto his aviary. Literally. Like, right now, he is clinging to the aviary door.

( Here's a pic of him as a baby in my hand, and then from the other day, free and plucking around for food outside the aviary. )

Anyway, I held back Hotch and Morgan, because Hotch's wing still doesn't look good enough for release, and Morgan had some crappy tail feathers. They're in the aviary still, with Car.

Inside I still have JJ and Rossi, as well as Rose, all sparrows.

You know what I forgot to mention? I started watching Dr. Who. I guess it was only a matter of time before I got into it, right? And now I really like it. Which I guess is also to be expected.

So let's see. Today I was off from work (just didn't have any appointments,) but I went in to get a treatment myself. How nice! Paycheck won't be as awesome next week and I'll just have to make do. But it's a nice day off, at any rate. And Wednesday is my last Hula class until part two starts. Two women are staying, two already dropped out, and I have two more who are definitely interested in the next group of classes. Those will start after Labor Day. It's a really nice little setup I've got there. I'm happy with it.

Also there is a nice guy who wants to hang around with me, which is always fun, isn't it? We'll code name him Kiros, because that's who he always reminded me of, Kiros Seagill from FF8 (he had the same hair when we met, like ages ago.) yesterday we went to the beach and then decided we were going to make a Kung Fu movie one of these days. So that was pretty cool.

I have work tomorrow, one 60 minute and 2 90 minutes (that adds up to like, four treatments the way I look at it.) Then Kung Fu. Last Hula class of this session on Wednesday. Off Thursday and Friday, work Saturday, and then on Sunday is the Bai Shi ceremony, and I'm not even gonna lie, I am so nervous about that. I've been to one, but I still feel like I don't know wtf to do and I'm going to mess it up and do something ridiculous. And we have to give a speech, too. *flutter*

Also recently, the Empress has been involved in this project. Basically she's auditioning for a movie and the prospects keep getting narrowed down, and she remains in the top five out of thousands. OMG. ( SHE WAS HAPPY. )

What else what else what else? The new pool is up. It's been up for about two weeks, but we can't seem to get the guys to come and finish the job. All that remains is to put in the skimmer (lots of cutting into the liner for that) and hook up the filter. So the pool is half-filled and the water is already all green and junk. Also, today is the first chilly day. It's nearly the end of summer already. *Mourn* You'll note that above I said the words "Labor Day" as if it wasn't too far off. It's really not.

And it's not just the temperature either, that's closing in. It's the light. Today is the first day that I noticed that "end of August" slant of light, you know. It's hard to ignore, once you see it.

*Sigh* The turn of the wheel, isn't it?

I posted this photo on Tumblr tonight:

With this text:

This is how you cuddle a crow, if you are a crow’s people.
Crows can only have people if they forever can’t have the sky or other crows because they are life-long sick or unflyable. And crows can only have people if their people is allowed to belong to a crow, legally. Crows’ people has to know all kinds of things about their owner-crow.
Such things as, what sort of troubles crows can get and what to do if that happens. Such things as, crows like to scream CAW, DAMN IT, CAW at all hours. Such things as, if crows can’t have other crows then their people has to give them cuddles and kisses, because crows subsist on cuddles and kisses just as much as on chicken and fruit and bread and eggs and cooked sweet potatoes and leftovers and worms and other suchlike.
Anyway this is one way to cuddle a crow. There are many other ways, too, as well as scritching and such.

And it got about sixty reblogs in about an hour. O_O NEAT! People really do love crows and animal stories.

I also finished and posted my 4 minute jaunt around Long Island, for HitRECord. It was fun creating it. I went everywhere, recorded all the pretty things I saw, etc. I really had a blast going around and searching for things to put in the video.

Two days ago, I took Sano outside and shaved him down. He looks so goofy without his fur but he is so much more comfortable and his skin has calmed down a bit. I'm starting to wonder if his skin gets really bad after a round of pred. I've never put that together before. It might be.

Last night, SB, Jo-chan and UD came over to my Mom's house for dinner and video games. We ate too much and laughed for hours. Did I mention that my Mom bought me Soul Calibur 4? Well, it's hilarious. Apparently if you take enough damage, your character's clothes come flying off. I purposely let Kilik get hit a lot. Also you can dress them in these insane outfits. Jo-chan put Kilik into this total S&M bondage looking outfit, pink. It was awesome.

Today I tried to knock down the remainder of the pool with a mallet. It didn't work. So I gave up and went inside. Gold Dragon called and we talked for about a half an hour.

I think tomorrow I might actually go to the ocean for a while. ^_^

My new boss is a TOTAL BOSS. :) Okay, here there be TMI so be warned. This is girlstuff.

Last few months, ovulation has been a little twingy on the left side. (Ovaries are supposed to take turns but sometimes both of mine go at once. Twins run in the family.) Well this time, starting I guess on Wednesday (it's Sunday now,) it hit a ridiculous level. Like this:

Only without the usual reason of having listened to Tom Hardy speak for a while.

It was, like, doctor-callingly bad. So, I called my usual crotch doctor's office yesterday before work because IT WAS THAT BAD. I was like, "My left ovary is exploding. When is the earliest I could see Dr. So and So?"

The receptionist said, "August."

WHAAAAAAAT. "Are you kidding me? What happens if my ovary explodes in the meantime?"

Really dismissively she says, "Go to the emergency room."

I'm like, "So, I have to actually wait until something happens – until a cyst ruptures, then go to the emergency room, then someone will treat me?"

She said, basically, yeah pretty much.

So I said, "Fine, give me something for August then, I'll just hope that nothing bad happens before then."

She goes, "Oh, I can't do that. You have to call back at the end of July."

So, eff them. Okay, I realize this doc is awesome and she's hard to get, but this woman was just so blithely dismissive that I just don't even feel right about going back there.

Off I went to work, where it was a little better but still twingy on and off. I was asking around, the girls I work with, if they knew any awesome crotch doctors. One of my co-workers was like, "Oh my god, I had the same thing a few years ago. Sucks, doesn't it?" She finally had surgery for hers. Anyway, she gave me a recommendation for a good doctor. And she has to be a female doctor, you know? Because I think I man can't honestly know what it feels like. I think you can study something all you like and know it inside and out (*snicker*) but what it comes down to is, have you lived in a female body, with all its various parts and functions and misfires? No? Then you can't really understand.

ANYway so, I was talking to my boss, the acupuncturist. She's generally awesome. She's 39, pregnant for the first time, and working all the way through. She looks like she's in her 20s and is very soft-spoken (I have to strain to hear her sometimes.) So I tell her what was going on and she goes, "Do you want me to put a tack in your ear?"

Umm. What?

"An acupuncture tack." She explains that the ear is shaped like a fetus and there are points corresponding to the different body parts and functions. The "tack" is a teeny acupuncture needle with an adhesive, and it stays there all week. So I said, "Sure, I'll try anything!"

So she stuck the teeny needle in. I didn't even feel it. As I was giving treatments, I started to get that little twingy pain again, the way it was the night before just before it got worse, and I got nervous. But, surprise! The pain never came.

Color me impressed. I studied acupuncture for about a semester, but I never actually tried it because I was too nervous. But now I think I'm really going to give it a go, for just general wellness, if I can afford it. OR, I can also barter for it. :D

That's another thing I love about my job, the bartering. My co-worker and I did our first barter between last week and yesterday: we traded deep tissue massages. It was great! And this week, I'm bartering with the reflexologist if there's time.

(Not only that, but I barter with my friends, too; I have something to give them now when they help me with something. My training brothers are coming by for treatments now, in exchange for them helping me. For example, High School Homeslice came by to take down the remainder of the pool. Snarklit saw me on the side of the road with a flat and stopped to help me change it. The thing is, they would help me out anyway if I asked them to, for nothing. But, I can give them something in return that helps them. Trigger point therapy, general wellness, treatment for muscle strains, etc. )

/digression

Anyway, that is the story of my cool boss and my ovary. Please don't worry, this is nothing really serious (*knock on wood*). I live in my body and I know what it's up to most of the time. I'm pretty certain of what's going on and it's nothing more than a nuisance that I need to take care of. If a doctor can see me, that is. :/

Right, so now I want to address some more of the phrases that brought people to this LJ. Some are hilarious, some are not.

To the person who found my LJ by looking for "PEENCEPTION," you absolutely made my day. I realize you probably found the link to his movie (awesome) but I hope you also found this post. WARNING for Tom Hardy's peen, okay?

To the seeker of " advent children mr. Fluffy " That was hilarious, right? I remember that.

I do not know who or what "beanarie anon" is.

"Disney Lookism" – I'm not sure I ever addressed this. Did I? If not, I should. I know I address lookism once in a while.

"F--- yeah Wirrow" – YES, SCORE. I'm sure I never actually said that on here, but it sums up my thoughts anyway.

To the person wondering about "Lomi Lomi vs. Swedish" – I like them both! And I wish I knew more Lomi Lomi.

"Rude Trees" – I am so happy that someone found my LJ searching for rude trees. I hope I've provided you with some, or at least with some rude plants.

"My shiny new job" – Wow, what are the chances?! Are there other people with shiny new jobs, or was someone looking for that specific post? Neat!

"Advent Children Complete Deleted rape scene" – WHAT. WHAT, NO. There isn't one. And if there was, I wouldn't support Advent Children, Final Fantasy, or Square Enix anymore.

This actually leads me to the next keyword search, which was "My Chemical Romance Women's Rights". Yup, I also boycotted Advent Children Complete because Gerard Way was on the soundtrack, and if anyone out there stands against women's rights, in a sly, insidious way, it's My Chemical Romance. That's because they used to pretend to support women's rights. And minorities, and gay rights, and this and that. Not only did they recently come out and say that that isn't their way anymore, they actually went on to promote violence against women, and said some hideous things via Twitter. Threatening women, making jokes about forcing abortions, and Frank Iero using the N word. I don't even have to get into them dragging the hate-fueled Mindless Self Indulgence on the road with them and supporting them. My Chemical Romance is hate-fueled enough on their own.

Next, someone searched for "Lohi'au's traits." Hmm. Well, Lohi'au was a chief, was handsome and talented at chanting at at the Hula. He was also something of a piner. He pined to death for Pele, remember. And he got killed a few times, too. See, there weren't a hell of a lot of gender roles in ancient Hawaiian legends, so often it was the women who were pursuers and the men who were pursued. The men who were locked away, to be discovered and "rescued" by the women. Anyway, the Pele/Lohi'au/Hi'iaka/Hopoe story is one of my favorites ever.

Also? I think that Hi'iaka and Hopoe might have been sweethearts. That's an interpretation I got from a few songs, you know. Mälama ke kanaka mälama ka lehua
Mälama ke kaunu moe ipo ... Are you picking up what I'm putting down, here? :)

To the person looking for FFVII essays, I hope you got some use out of it. :)

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt" – He's pretty fly, isn't he?

"Tahitian scream" – Yup, I can still do that, and it's ear-splitting.

"Link's Queen" and "Tilly" – Oh my god, hilarious, wasn't it? Come and say hello, anon. Those were fun times.

And to those looking for "blather rinse repeat" and "Kapunua" – Hello everyone!

Right, so now I've got the day off, and I'm going to draw some things, and dick around on the internet. Come on, internet, amuse me!

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May 2017

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Page generated Sep. 26th, 2017 10:43 am

Blather, rinse, repeat

Baby got backstory

Entries tagged with friends

Random hitrecord drama, birds, writing, other kinds of things too

Old people are smart

Summer thoughts

Manuscript news. and news all around

Inspermiversary!

Baby shower pics!

A nice comment from Joe, and some baby shower stuff

Spring things (dog news, work and the lack thereof, etc)

Stuff I am thankful for!

Lists and updates and other such

Waimaka o ka lani

various things and such

Lunch, friends, catcalls and car accidents (minor, and not mine.)

Nice things again (and more google searches)

friends and droids and sandwiches

Things like HitRECord, movies, friends, Wall Street, and weather

Sixth Generation Greed Cloud Bai Si

Turn of the wheel (and some dogs and birds)

Tumblr and other rambling

Ovarysplode and analytics fun