Blather, rinse, repeat

My effing state boards are OVER, people, and this is how it went.

I was originally supposed to go with a gal from school. We'd planned it since graduation day. On Wednesday I was kinda getting into a panic, because that's what I do when I don't know the plans for the next day. I'm fully like that. If I'm going somewhere that I've never been before, and time is a factor (and like, my career kinda depending on getting there on time is a factor,) I have to have a schedule in advance. I can't just wing things like this. So I was in a tizzy when I hadn't heard from her, and I called and called and PM'ed and was all "where are we meeting, gimme directions!" for like hours. But then, late that night, she PM'ed me back to say that she'd decided to go with someone else.

So! I went batty over last minute train schedules, directions, where, when, how etc. Had to get explicit directions to the institute from someone who knows the area, and I was lucky enough to know someone who used to work around there. It was in Brooklyn.

I'm a country mouse, okay, I know how to get into and around Manhattan without a problem, but Brooklyn? New to me. Anyway, eventually I got directions: LIRR to Jamaica (see, and I would have gone to stupid Penn and looked for a subway!) change at Jamaica to the Atlantic Terminal, last stop, walk the rest of the way, 30-40 minutes.

I'm pretty easy about trains. I like them, especially the LIRR. As Glassworker put it when we were hanging out last night: Trains are cool because you're getting to where you're going, but you also have all this time to yourself. That's just how I feel about it. I listened to my iPod and did not think about the test. Some guy on the train was nice enough to explain again how to get to Atlantic Terminal. I am not so easy about directions.

It was pretty easy, and once I got off the train at Atlantic Terminal I ran into a gal from the school who I'd never met. But she knew I was going to take the test because on the train, a dude had said to me, "Hey. Your backpack is open." Like it was some kind of huge deal? I was like, "Unless anyone wants my practice tests and school papers, I'm sure it's fine, but thanks." So this girl caught up to me and said, "I have school papers too. Are you taking the boards?"

And we got to talking, and walked the rest of the way together. Which was really nice, although unfortunately it was around 15 degrees that morning and by the time we got to the test-taking place, I couldn't feel my face, my toes, my fingers or my thighs.

But we did get there, and we had about an hour to sit in a separate building and study.

I may or may not have mentioned that I took exception to a lot of the questions on the practice tests. Like seriously, one of them asked, "If you turn a doorknob to the right, are you A) pronating or B) supinating." Well the answer they were looking for was supinating, but hello, what if you happen to be left handed? And another question was, "where is such and such located" and the correct answer was spelled, "Anterior write." THEN. In a few cases, the asked the same question twice. And the first time they gave one answer (which I disagreed with,) and the second time they gave an answer that I did agree with. And yet in another case, they asked a question and the answer key said, "The answer is THIS, but the state boards wants you so say THAT."

So I was really, really fed up. It seemed like this was a stupid, impossible standard.

When I got into the testing room, I was pleased to find that my assigned seat was section 3, number 96. Why, that adds up to 99! AND THEN. There was a huge sticker on my desk that said, "18" and I have no idea why. So I was like "999 OMG YAY." I'm funny about numbers.

I was seated next to a group of three people from a different institute who all greeted each other with "I was hoping I wouldn't see you here again!" As it turns out, one of them was taking the test for the third time ("Last time I finally got up to a 64!") another for the second time, and the last person was taking the test for the sixth time. She said she'd graduated in '07, and had yet to get even close to a passing grade. I interrupted them with the old "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear" and I asked them how hard was this damn test? Because now I was starting to get really worried. The 6-times girl asked where I'd gone to school and I told her. She said, "You'll probably be all right. I did a 9 month course."

I was still a bit panicked, though. But, I got my final grades in the mail two weeks ago and my graduating grade point was 3.98. I thought, Well, how likely is it that I will actually fail this thing? I did well in school, so I must know something, right?

The test itself was pretty varied. 140 questions in all, and I guess that about 100 of them I thought, "this is a joke." There were about 10 that were flat out opinion questions where we were instructed to "pick the best, even if another one seems good too," and I think it's entirely unfair to ask opinion questions on a state boards test. Then there were maybe 20 where I was like, "Okay, two of these options are clearly a joke, but the last two could work, so educated guess." And maybe 10 questions where I was like, "I have no frigging clue what you're even talking about here."

So I think I did all right. I ticked off about 25 questions that I thought it was possible I'd gotten wrong, but I felt that I'd gotten at least some of those correct if even just by luck. I'm not sure how well I did, but I am fairly confident that I at least passed.

So, the test had started at 1:40. We were given 3 hours to finish. I was done by 3PM, getting my exit pass, hustling out the door and calling a taxi from the booth outside the instutite. By 3:20 I was back on the train to Jamaica. By 4 I was in Jamaica, by 4:17 on the train back to Ronkonkoma station. 5:30, getting in my car, and home by 6 PM for dinner.

It was fairly straightforward, and I'm glad it's over.

NOW I HAVE TO WAIT EIGHT WEEKS FOR MY RESULT.

But in the meantime, I'm chilling, still working for the company I've been with for over a year. Writing, making stuff for HitRECord, cleaning the mess that is my house, looking after Haku, sorta whatevering that dude I met in school, getting ready to return to Kung Fu (I took the week off to study,) sleeping till 10 on my days off, and yeah, I don't know, things like that. It's pretty cool, really. ^_^

Anyway, here are some pics from that day.

( Trains, clocks, other junk. )

Yeah, that's about it. :)

It just occurred to me, this might be the last time I have to use the "school" tag! Well, probably not. But for right now, I'm pretending that it is. ^_^

I kinda had a hint of a feeling that stuff was way too awesome for a few weeks, what-with the hitRECord book, the end of school, me getting tossed a Hula show, etc. I figured, maybe losing Dana was my bad-luck balance. But today while I was at my last day of school, Haku blew out his cruciate and subluxated his patella while running. He is hobbling around, unable to walk until he can get the surgery, and for that I have to wait for the surgeon to A) be there and B) see him first and then schedule the surgery. Cruciate surgery is mad expensive. Well, any surgery is. Looks like I'm going to have to get a 3rd, 4th job maybe. I'm thinking of being a hooker. What do you think?

My poor Haku, he can hardly even stand up and he's crying all the time. This will be his second major surgery and he's only five.

And I fully realize how much worse it could have been. Yeah, I appreciate that and all. Still.

More on this story as it develops.

Yes, so today was my last last last day of school. I got an A on my pathology paper and they asked me if they could keep it as an example. Then my supervisor said I was nominated for the Excellence in Clinic award, which is something they give you at graduation, which I don't plan on going to but still, that is so freaking awesome.

Here's the thing that was more awesome than that, though. Last night I got a message from Auntie Kau'i re: her choosing a new Hawaiian name for me. The naming process in Hawaiian culture is sacred so I knew I wanted this new one to come only from Auntie. She thought about it for a really long time and finally last night, she sent me the message that she had decided to name me, 'Ilikeanani. At first glance it means "Fair-skinned beauty" but the word "'Ilikea" refers to Hawaiian people with light skin. "Haole" means a white person. An 'Ilikea is a fair-skinned Hawaiian. I felt a little hanai'd and a lot honored. So, that's my new name, but I'm still keeping Kapunua because that's been my name for about ten years, too and it's still a big part of me. Which makes my entire Hawaiian name:
'Ilikeananipunuamililanihoalohaokeola. Which is by no means a long name, for it being Hawaiian. They get much longer than that.

So, that's settled then.

Kung fu last night, awesome staff drill and some sparring early on. More on that later too. But I have to manage right now to carry Haku to his bowl for some late dinner. :/

*sigh*

So much to babble about, but I'll try to keep it short-ish.

Here's my exciting thing: I got a Hula show on the 19th, which, WOW, it's been over a year since I did an actual show. The last one was right after I lost Dad and it was miserable. I mean, the show was pretty good itself but the experience was hard, trying to smile through the whole thing, trying to be cheerful and Aloha etc. This one is going to be so much better. It's a holiday show. I haven't done a holiday performance in, what, like eight years? No one wants Hula in the winter, that's why. Or if they do, they don't ask this far-east gal to come and perform. So, I get to do Hawaiian Santa, White Christmas, Little Drummer Boy (I try to keep holidays secular, but LDB is legit one of my favorite songs ever and I really love the Hula; it's mad difficult unless you know it well enough and have strong thighs, no joke,) and then I think I'll do some poi balls, and a Tahitian set.

And guess what? I'm doing La Toere. Come hell or high water or an extra five pounds or lack of practice. Actually, I really should practice that one. AND. I think that for the first time ever I'm going to do Tahiti, Tahiti, the pop song version. There's going to be a ton of kids there and I think they'll really love that one.

So that's the deal with that.

That aside, I utterly fail at the holidays this year. I really, seriously did try. I didn't want a tree,and I had to sit and think for a long time about why I didn't want one yet. I usually love getting a tree. And I think it's because Dad used to help me move my chair out of the way (or if he wasn't around to do it, I'd move it and when I'd tell him I'd gotten a tree he'd go, "Did you move that chair by yourself? You should have waited for me to do it!") which maybe is a really vague reason, but I couldn't help the association. That, and every single year I've always used Shinigami to go and get my tree. Even after Shinigami more or less quit on me, and I started driving around little red Ronin, I would still rev up Shinigami and take him out for a holiday spin to get my tree. Shinigami is still in the driveway. Last year someone asked me if I was ready to sell and I immediately busted out in irrational tears. I should sell, I know I should, I need to. Someone can fix up that beautiful car and drive it around like it should be driven. It's just, UGH, I have issues.

So! I decided I'd do my own stupid holiday thing, switch it up a little, do something new, right? So instead of a tree and a ton of lights, I figured I would get some of those big-ass pine things that people wind around their porches and I'd put it up all over my house. This way I'd get the nice tree-smell without all the admittedly irrational emotional nonsense. This was a huge effing mistake.

( This is about the stupidest looking thing ever. )

You can't just stick them up all over the place, I guess. I had to cut it into three parts. Decoration fail.

Then I also thought it would be high-freaking-larious if I got two of those stupid balls and hung them side by side, right? Just for a laugh. The ones I found were like millennia old and the boxes were all beaten up. I tried them at the store and the guy even gave me a discount because they were so old. So I ( made my little holiday gag: )

And thought 'Oh, LOL, I am so funnee!" and then the right ball flickered out and has stayed that way. Damn it. I only have one ball for Yule now. Woe.

I remember what else I wanted to rave about. Kung Fu (who is surprised?) In the last few weeks we've been doing staff drills indoors; I mentioned it a few posts ago. On Tuesday (today is Thursday) we did even more two-person drills that were yet cooler than the last. And before that, we did line basics without staff.

Let me talk for a second about the line basics we did. First of all, we did them for about an hour, even going straight through warmup time without quitting. Which, fabulous. You get to that part where you stop feeling things like "ow, pain" and "boy my legs are tired." You just zone right on up out - please understand by my use of many prepositions how meaningful this is. Not only that, but the drills we were doing looked so effing cool, I may have to record it tonight. I always say it's so that we can remember what we were doing and practice them at home but honestly, it's because it looks cool. I can't even lie.

Well, it likely doesn't look as cool when I do them, because I am long-limbed and flaily and I fully realize that I don't have the right amount of control over the reach of my arms. I can actually feel it when I'm getting flaily, and invariably Sifu will come over to me saying something like "hey hey hey hey, Lotus-flower-blossom-san, what exactly are you doing?" I get way too enthusiastic, haha. So then I have to stop, reset my stance, and actually put some thought into it.

It's great, because we do right and left side, and the thing about Kung Fu is that it's so ambidextrous, you have to sync your right and left sides so that they're doing two opposite things, while your legs are pretty much doing yet another thing. You can kind of feel your brain seaming in the middle. It's neat.

So yeah, from Hula to Kung Fu, as usual.

And school. I guess I won't be writing much about that anymore, and I can probably retire my "school" tag. Not get rid of it, but I won't have to use it. Tomorrow is my last day, five clinic hours and then I'm pau. I also get my path paper back, and I'm kind of sweating that. I know I didn't fail, but I don't just want a good grade. I totally suck like that. I want the freaking A. I worked really hard on that paper. More than that, though, I don't want to let my supervisor down. I'll be bummed if I get a B or something. I realize I sound like a child but, well, I cop to that, too.

My last class was yesterday. It was a lousy hour and a half, and then about fifteen minutes of me running around registrar etc. trying to get them to fix up my missing paperwork, HELLO. I paid the extra cash for it five weeks ago (the first aid cert. cards that they misspelled, remember?) and I never heard back from them if they came in. I called, left messages etc. Then yesterday I went up there and was like, "WTF, no one ever called me back. Hope you guys realize I can't graduate without these cards, and today is my last day, why has no one returned my calls?" And she goes, "Oh, that. I do remember you paying, yeah. Umm. The guy who was doing that got fired."

OH, COOL. AND NO ONE TOOK OVER FOR HIM. THANKS GUYS.

I can't even tell you how ready I was to punch the entire effing school right in the ass. Long story short (too late,) I had to go the hell home, fax in my misspelled cards so that they can send them along with a certified letter (that they will write) saying how it's their own stupid fault and that the NYS boards pretty much have to accept them.

So that's my last experience with this idiotic school, way to send-off with a bang.

I'm fairly sure there was something else I wanted to catch up on but I can't think of it right now, which is probably just as well.

So, here, ( look at some pictures of my fish!  )

Those are just the ones in my ten-gallon tank. I'll have to upload some of the ones of my other guys in the 20, one of these times.

Well, I'd better gear up to think about getting out of the chair and feeding the dogs, and then myself, and then going into the stygian, freezing night to Kung Fu.

After tomorrow I don't have to see that stupid college for a really, really long time; not until I have to go back for continuing ed. Which I'm sure they will also screw up, but at least it will be a short term thing. Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!

TINY BOOK OF TINY STORIES! What I didn't realize was that there were over 2000 entries and only the, what, 60 made it in? I had no idea. I wish I could hug the folks involved. Wirrow, Joe, everyone who did a drawing (there were 47 of them by printing! I still don't know which one he picked. :D )

For about three years I've been considering getting the Uncertainty Principle tattooed on my wrist. What stops me is that, if asked to explain it, I don't have a quick and simple phrase to sum it all up to people who know what they're talking about. Also, tattoos are forever. Also, having been in school and working in clinic, I wouldn't have time to keep it bandaged. But, I've been jonzing for it for years. It also makes me think of my Dad because his philosophy was always, "You never know. You never, ever know. And I thought, "Wow, cool, the uncertainty principle is like the cosmos's way of saying the same thing."

I think the fact that this is the first thing I've ever gotten in print is the sign I need to just effing do it! I still have to wait till I'm out of school though.

Which is next week. ^_^

That was the first awesome thing I want to cover. What I'm really journaling about today is the fact that this week has been made of so much awesome that I'm starting to get paranoid, which, yes, I realize how foolish and fatalistic that is. And I kinda semi halfway feel like maybe it's time for some awesome and I should view all of this with just unquestioning happiness rather than with trepidation.

Gift from the Universe 2: Kung Fu last night. First, I sparred with Te Ji Nan before black belt class. I haven't sparred in months, and I missed it ridiculously. We were just doing light contact and not even really connecting with the kicks, but it was twenty minutes of bouncing around and throwing techniques and I felt awesome after we were done. And then in black belt club, we're doing staff basics. So we did this really awesome line drill for about fifteen minutes, and then we paired up to do a two-person staff drill. I paired with Lady Chrysanthemum. The drill was a circular one, largely about stances and staff position, and we did it for about fifteen minutes, ceaselessly. There came a point at about the ¾ mark where the whole class was kind of in the same rhythm and the sound of the many staffs hitting each other was making the walls reverberate. It became sort of trancy and entirely awesome. At the end of it, Chrysanthemum said, "There were a few minutes in there when I felt like I was at a monastery in Toisan."

It was one of those classes that I can't get enough of. And next week, we're doing staff again and then after that, broadsword drills! I can hardly wait!

Gift from the universe 3: Today in clinic it was really, really slow. Lots of people canceled, for whatever reason. This meant that I got to have a treatment. Whenever two people are free, I get treatments by default because I'm the only one there who does five shifts in one day. Also, my supervisor is awesome. I've mentioned him before, he's one of those really smart geeks who likes tons of cool stuff and is easy to talk to. I actually like both my supervisors and I have to admit that I'm going to miss them.

Gift from the universe 4: All of my finals are done, forever. I got a 90 on the written and a 95 on the practical. I wasn't entirely happy with the 90, but it's over, so what can you do. The best part was sitting in the hallway studying with a group of fun and amusing classmates, who I now realize I'm also going to miss. Well, that's what Facebook is for! While I was studying with this one lass who I've known for about a year or so, some random lady came down the hallway and told us that she would pray to Jesus that we would pass our tests, and that if we forgot any of the answers, he would come down and illuminate them for us. We both thanked her (she was being really nice,) and then after she left, we kinda looked at each other and went, "Well... I'm about the least religious person in the world, so... LOL" and agreed that having Jesus tell us the answers would be cheating. Then we made some inappropriate jokes and laughed ourselves into hysteria. It was a really fun way to end that one class.

Gift form the universe 5: Today was my last day working with my pathology client, The Professor. Next friday is my last day overall, but he'll be on a trip then so I won't get to see him. He gave me a box of holiday chocolates, but that wasn't the actual gift. It really was that he thanked me for making him feel better. He said that he could move without pain for the first time in years, and that he dreaded being without treatments for so long. He told my supervisor that he'd been coming to the clinic for three years and no one had ever managed to get rid of the pain until we started treatments, and asked, "Isn't there a way you could keep her here?" I said, "Well, he could fail me!" Which, OMG, EFFING NO. :) At the end of the session he asked for my contact info and said he will hire me (and recommend me to others) once I am licensed. So, he's already giving me a client list. The chocolates and the future business are both really, really awesome, but it was being thanked that really made me go ^________^ .

Gift from the universe 6: My Mom got a job that she really, really likes.

And that's kind of just the big stuff. This week, there was tons of general awesomeness like sharing jokes with my cousins, seeing great movies with my best friends, losing a couple of pounds from thanksgiving, listening to awesome music and such.

So I'm just going to take this for what it is, which is just an awesome week, and maybe it will continue into further awesomeness.

I've been vacillating about getting a tree and doing solstice / holidayish decorations. It would be the first time I acknowledged the holidays since losing Dad and Gran and I really, really go back and forth on how I feel about doing that this year. I realize that you just can't quit being joyful forever, and also Dad would hate that.

Plus, I've been getting all these pressies so maybe I should get a tree.

Think I will get that tattoo, also. Maybe it's a sign. ^_^

Let's see. Today I studied for my last ever finals. I studied my face off, and I still don't feel prepared. It's not as if I think I'll fail, because I know enough to get by decently. However, I don't think I can swing an A, and that's going to be crushing. If that's the case, it would be my first A- since Dad. I have just never really been feeling this class. I don't know if it's because I checked out already and just want to gtfo, or what, but I never really caught on. And tomorrow is the final (I'm doing the written and practical in one shot, so I don't have to be there on the last day, which is really cool,) and I spent a lot of time studying today, and already it's gone from my damn head. Poof.

Last night I was on the phone with This Guy (boy, he really needs a better code name) and we were having a pretty decent conversation about ice cream and pie, when I heard a racket from the bird room. I didn't even need to see, to know that it was Dana having a seizure. She's had maybe one like this before, when she was young, but I really thought she had improved over the years. Although, the night I went to see Harry Potter, right before we left she started making this really strange, noisy chirping sound. I had a vague feeling that it was some kind of seizure then, but then I thought maybe I was overreacting. I should trust my bird instincts.

I started her on Arnica TID again, which I haven't given her in years because she hasn't needed it. I can't think of anything else to give her. It's not like she's got primary epilepsy or anything. She has some kind of brain dysfunction but I can hardly give her an MRI or even an x ray. So I just have to guess.

Today I had a very weird thing happen. The phone rang, and even though I already knew who it was (it was This Guy,) the first place my mind went was, "Oh, Dad's calling. Finally!" I don't even know where that came from.

Oh boy, and I have been having some seriously cracked out dreams. Like, swimming around the living room in my Grandma's old house (which now belongs to my cousins,) trying to dive for plastic gems while the Andrew Sisters sing in the background, and then Tom Hardy asks me to make out and I stare at him and think "This is the best day ever" and then the alarm clock goes off, kind of weird. Like, shopping at K Mart for fuzzy skirts and corsets, and once again, for reasons beyond my ken, Joe Biden is the door greeter kind of weird.

How dull of me; I can't think of any other news fit to print. It's Tuesday, it's chilly, I haven't decorated for the holidays, gotten a tree, nor bought any cards, though I considered all of the above. I just don't know if I'm going to this year. I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes I really feel like it, and then other times I feel like, "What's the point?"

Well, at least I get my finals out of the way tomorrow – whether or not I do well enough is another thing entirely. And then, I swear, I don't even want to open another effing book.

I mean, until the board exam gets closer, that is. Umm. :)

So, Thanksgiving! Yeah, it had its moments but it was fun. Early in the day, when I was first at Mom's, we had a few moments of, you know, I guess typical "how the hell can we even do holidays" kind of thing. But, then SB and Jo-chan and my uncle came over. We played Silent Hill, cooked, ate so much food it isn't even true, ate again, then a little bit of eating, a snack or two, dessert, and then we watched Pineapple Express, which was stupid.

SB played us some of the music he's been arranging, which, holy hell. There are so many days when I can't believe he was my little turkey that I had to carry everywhere, who loved Pink Floyd already at age 2. He'll be 22 in a few weeks. WTMFF.

This has been a strange year. '09 was just a tragedy, and no mistake. '10 had its share of tragedies as well (a personal one I won't get into,) and its moments of entropy. But a few things are slowly melding back into place. Or new places, I suppose. This Autumn I get to see Jo-chan at least once every week, and we have so much fun driving back home from her college every Thursday, then watching Family Guy or whatever at my Mom's house at night. So much is missing still, but one thing I'm really happy for is Jo-chan being around so often. And I get to see my cousins and the Boychild often, too. I keep getting reminded of Lilo and Stitch, at the oddest moments. "Little and broken but still good." That's sappy, I know. But yeah.

I've got five days of school left and then I get my walking papers. I handed in my 30 page pathology report (a few nights ago I had a nightmare that I got a B on it, woke up legit crying,) and I have two more finals left, both on the same day. Two more days of working in the clinic; ten more hours of internship. Then I'm done. I won't have to make that stupid drive two or three times a week. Won't have to see those halls where I spent the last two years, being, jeez, not even nickled and dimed, but like, thousanded or something. And I spent so much time there miserable. I remember sitting in the upstairs lounge trying to study, knowing I would be going to the hospital on my way home to visit Gran in her last days. My chemistry test that I aced two days before she died. And having to go back there for one last final the week after I lost Dad, walking around that stupid place like a zombie. I can't imagine another place I'll be so happy to leave behind.

So, I was off Friday, that's last night, and I went out with Gold Dragon to see Due Date. Every movie I see has to have a dead father in it, doesn't it? Jesus. There would have been moments of awkwardness if I'd been there with anyone aside from Dragon, because he didn't turn awkward or nervous on me. Just a solicitous nudge to the arm and smile like, "This cool with you?" And it was, because it's just a stupid movie. We had a good time and that dumb movie wrangled a few genuine laughs out of me, I'll admit. Mostly because of Robert Downey Jr.'s hilarious reactions.

I'm off work today, too! And tonight, Wonderful Glassworker is coming over and we're going to go out and see Harry Potter. I know already how this one ends and I'll bet I'm going to shed a single crystalline emo tear of eternal blue sadness, or maybe two. But dude, it's Harry Potter. You've just gotta see it in the theater, no matter what. It's tradition.

And guess what? I HAVE TOMORROW OFF TOO, AND MONDAY. It's like a vacation for chrissakes! I don't have school Tuesday but I do have my last finals on Wednesday, and those finals are going to suck out my soul. We reviewed for them last Wednesday and it was dismal. I feel like I knew more before the review. How the hell did that even happen? It's like the knowledge got sucked out of me. For the first time ever, I have a really, really bad feeling about a final. Like, it doesn't even seem possible right now.

And the girl I had to review with was the Meltdown girl from a few weeks ago. Okay, she really creeped me out. Let's never mind that she grabbed onto my feet (it's reflexology) and said, "OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOUR FEET, THEY'RE LIKE BABY FEET, THEY'RE ALL SOFT AND SPONGEY." Spongey, seriously? Is that ever a word you want to hear in reference to any of your body parts at all? But that aside, she also hadn't cut her nails and it was like getting a reflexology treatment from Freddie Krueger, wtmff, I was cringing the entire time. It was hideous.

Anyway. Yeah, so I don't feel anything close to confident about this last final. I think maybe I already checked out. I don't know. I'm so done.

Well, shoot. I should get back to straightening up before Glassworker gets here. Hurray for awesome hang-out days. ^_^

I believe my pathology paper is finished! At 30 pages and 7K some-odd words, it's not too bad, I think. I also wrote another freaking 20K on my fun, private fiction project. I'm well into the 70K mark now and all that in like four weeks, on top of school and work, wtf. What is even wrong with me? Jesus. It's like crack.

So, six more days of school, count 'em, six. Wednesday I go in all effing day to make up my Thanksgiving clinic hours. Then the next three Wednesdays and Fridays until the 8th and then PAU. I walk on out that door and quit thinking about that place.

Oh, I need to remember to sign and return my stupid promissory note because hello, I haven't done that yet. And they also haven't yet replaced my misspelled first aid certification cards and such which I had to pay for even though it was their mistake. Ugh, yeah, still pissy about that.

Today I got a beautiful, inspiring, uplifting, just plain awesome message from a Hula Sister in Florida re: asking my Auntie about re-naming me. Auntie says she needs to meditate on it for a while ("Meditate on this, I will!") and the rest of her message, and the words from my Auntie were so lovely and sweet, I practically danced around the room.

I re-learn my love for Hula all over again, sometimes. I know I'll go back to it full-time when the opportunity presents itself. I wonder what Auntie will come up with.

Anyway. So I'm off tomorrow and Tuesday, and then Thursday and Friday too! Stupid Wednesday, screwing it all up. Oh man, what adventures I might have! I'll get to go shopping, clean the fish tank, do my last lab assignment, and finally vacuum the rug! Maybe if I get real crazy, I'll even put my laundry away and give the dogs a bath. WOW. I can't even stand how exciting this all is.

Yeah.

Kung Fu tonight was one of those ridiculously life-affirming classes. Every single time I feel like I've got too much on my plate and start hearing "Pressure" playing on a loop in my head, I remind myself, "GO TRAIN" and it never fails me.

I missed the first class because I had a minor panic about leaving Haku alone. I don't know why; I just felt like if I walked out the door he'd start the seizure cascade again. I realize now it was really just a panic attack kind of thing. When I finally did get to Kung Fu, I talked a while with Empress, Te Ji Nan and another boy who needs a name. Then made it in time for blackbelt training. The warmup alone always clears my mind, especially when I push myself. And then we did staff form indoors and Sifu asked me to begin teaching it to Needs A Name. I was so ridiculously honored, like out of proportion honored.

Also, I'm so happy, I got my bracelet back tonight! It was such a great feeling, slipping it back on.

And now Jo-chan is here and we watched Family Guy and I'm just setting in to go to bed. Clinic tomorrow, which is I think the first of the last three? I can actually count down my days of school by now. Six. I have six days left there. That's it. I wish I could somehow squish them all together and get them over with in one shot, but alas.

I'm about 2/3 done with my pathology paper, which I guess isn't so bad because it is due, HELLO, Wednesday (and today is Thursday.) Normally we'd have till Friday to hand them in, and my clinic day is Friday, but EFF YOU THANKSGIVING. So I've got to bring it in Wednesday. Which is just as well, since I'll be there making up Friday's hours all day Wednesday anyway, but still. Ah well, it will give me the push I need to just finish it the eff up this weekend and then not have to think about it anymore.

What rules is that I can also finish up my last written lab assignment, and then I'll only have two finals this trimester. And I can take them both on one day and then skip the last class and still get credit for it. So, that's a bit squeetastic.

Six days and that's it. SIX. ^_^

And then of course, I have to study for my boards in January. I was talking to a training sister tonight who is a licensed therapist and she was like, "Yeah, it's totally hard, you'll see questions on stuff you've never even heard of in school."

No pressure.

And after that, it's time to go job-hunting. (Yes, those are definitely job droppings!)

NO PRESSURE.

Today I meant to clean my house and both fish tanks but with writing my stupid paper, I didn't get to do either. Oh! I didn't even mention it! But last Sunday I finally got a new betta. His name is Handsome Bob and he's lavender and white. Unfortunately he's kind of a dickweed; currently he is harassing poor Claire and he won't quit. Leon was never so rude. Maybe he'll calm down.

Well, anyway I suppose I should get myself to bed; early day tomorrow and all of that. Read a little bit of the new King and then wait for the crack dreams.

OH! Duh, how could I forget! I actually started writing this so that I could type out last night's crack dream. It goes like this:

I'm in my own living room, and there's some sort of animal kingdom around me, like a little microcosm flowing between my living room and my yard. This does not surprise me or anything. Then, a black lion approaches me and says, "I choose you to reign." I have no idea what he means, but I feel sort of honored. So I lie down on the floor with all the animals and the lion starts petting me, like I was the pet; like, he's scratching my head with his claws. O_O

After a while of this I become nervous, thinking, What if he gets mad? After all, it's a wild animal; they're unpredictable no matter what. How can I keep the lion from getting mad and clawing me to death or eating me? I probably can't, so I'll just have to make an escape.

The lion goes prowling around and I start to get up, when some other animal (a bunny, or a deer or something,) tells me that I had better not leave. After all, he chose me and if I shirk my duties, then the lion will get angry, so it's better not to risk it.

Whatever the motherloving eff that was all about, I have no earthly clue.

Yeah, so that was last night's crack dream.

God I need to vacuum my floor. I wonder when that opportunity will present itself.

Good night!

Akkkk, missing Kung Fu tonight because I have not yet finished studying. This is the first school class I've really disliked, and I'm not sure why. I don't even think it's the class itself, but maybe I'm just fed up, done, and ready to be gone from there. I guess my patience has run out. How dare it interfere with Kung Fu? Which I guess is my fault though, because it takes me hours just to build up to studying and then when I finally do, I keep going, "But what's going on with the internet right now? I could be looking at websites."

Which, essentially is what I'm doing right now.

For instance, via my cousins, today I discovered Damn You, Auto-correct. I don't know whether I'm just on crack today or something but this made me LOL so hard I had a laugh-gasm, you know, when your diaphragm seizes up.

So yeah, that's where I am now. I should be studying. I'm not even halfway finished yet, though at least I did complete my written homework/labs.

Oh, and I started work last week on my pathology paper. It's moving along pretty well, I guess. Wish I had time to work more on it tomorrow after school and bang out a huge chunk of it, but alas, I have to make up clinic hours. It's not like I missed any, but school is closed for TG break on my usual clinic day, so I have to make up five. Two tomorrow, which will keep me at school till like 6:30, and three next Wed. which will keep me there until 9:30, hello.

I'm going to have lots of time between treatments though. :/ I'm-a-chargin' up my Kindle.

Oh, I'm reading Stephen King's new one, and he can still terrify me after all these years. I love him like a god, I swear.

So yeah, I guess I should quit this noise and put my face back into a book. >_

Today I got a text from the guy at school I'm sort of, just hanging around with and such and he was like "WTF, SNOW." Yep, so apparently it snowed this morning. It's just about as cold as a cyborg's ball's in Alaska and I love/hate/love it. I like being indoors in my fuzzy slippers when it's like this. I'm a comfort whore.

I started, a few days ago, to talk about the wood thrushes? Well, there's more to the story.

So I already mentioned that it was weird because I found a stone-dead wood thrush on the porch on Nov. 1st, and then a nearly-dead one in the exact same spot on the 2nd, right? What I haven't told yet is that on Nov. 3rd, there was another dead wood thrush in the exact same goddamn spot. Then on Nov. 4th, a live wood thrush standing at my door and on the 5th, another live one following me along the fence as I walked with the dogs.

WTF with the wood thrushes, why 2 dead and 1 half dead in the same exact spot, why the creepy staring with the little oil-spot eyes? And why haven't they migrated?

( This is Fox; he is still with me. )

He seems to get along fine with Dana, and though he is a little spazzy when I go to grab for him to give him meds or whatever, he's actually fairly tame, almost as if someone raised him. But the one that follows me around the yard seems tame, too. Man, I just don't know, and I don't know why dead ones were cast at my feet either, wtaf.

That's my little wood thrush drama. It's weird but it's cool, because it's reconnected me with birds and I somehow really needed that.

Else? School, I guess. I had mentioned that Bursar quit or whatever? Yeah, Registrar just quit, too. How is this even a school? I did begin my path paper though, finally. And by "begin" I mean "wrote the table of contents and outline." It's due in four weeks, wtf is wrong with me that I'm still putting it off?

I was off work this past weekend and it was supersweet. I seriously just did whatever I wanted, which obviously did not include any great deal of work on my path paper, but at least I gave it some thought and a start.

Saturday, I was minding The Boychild and we watched Harry Potter. He'd never seen it before and he was so funny with his questions. "Is that a bad guy? Is he gonna turn into a bad guy? When is the bad guy coming?" He only cares about the bad guys. When asked who his favorite is--in general--he's all, "DARTH MAUL." I'm like, "Boychild, who did you like in Harry Potter?" and he's, "DARTH MAUL." Too funny.

Then last night, Wonderful Glassworker bestie came over and there was pizza, ice cream, snacks, Inception, and insane conversation until late into the night/morning. Ahh, bestie. :D

Dunno about Kung Fu tomorrow; I might have too much homework (that I am also not doing today. I am so not an adult about this stiff, this trimester.) But if That Guy calls and he wants to go, then I'll go. I really need a cool code name for him if I'm going to mention him further. He's really nice and he found my lost earring. (Wish someone would find my lost bracelet, but I think it might be gone for good. I can't explain how upsetting that is to me. I feel like someone stole my name, or a piece of my mana.)

Today I might sit down with a bowl of fruit, a humidifier, my bathrobe, and RockNRolla. Adventure, ha, excitement! A Jedi craves not these things.

ETA: Sometimes my stupid ribs still really ache from being broken, but that was last year. Is that normal?