Blather, rinse, repeat

God, end of year memes! You'd think I'd've been back on LJ before now, but you know. Callum takes a nap, I write. (Or, let's be real: sometimes just go on Tumblr. It's so low-effort.) But this year I gotta do the memes. It's been a big year. So, thanks for reminding me, spatterdash !




1 -What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

THE BIG ONE! I signed with a literary agent. :) I mean yeah, that's the one thing I've always been on about in these year-end memes, right? And this year, I did! And it's been crazy fun.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I tend not to make them, IDK. It's like I always say: If I want to make a change, I'll do it when I feel like, not in January.


3 Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin did, although, it kills me to say it, we're not close anymore. We were the absolute best of friends. Then she moved away and she's not on FB too often, and we hardly ever talk. No one in her family even knew she was pregnant until the baby was already born. So, that makes me sad, that we are so distant now that I didn't even know she had another baby on the way.

My ex-boss also had her second child.

4- Did anyone close to you die?

My ex-boss lost her Mom suddenly a few months ago. I didn't know her Mom, but it was shocking. I'm always hesitant to answer this question, because this anxious part of me feels like it's a curse if I say “no.” I used to always say “no,” and then my Gran and Dad died so suddenly within a few months of each other. I know this has ZERO to do with reality and cause and effect, but honestly, that kind of stuff messes me up.


5- What countries did you visit?

I wish.


6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

I super lacked money in 2015. It's so cheesy to say something like this, but in almost every other way, I don't feel like I lack much. I have a beautiful family, home, a job I enjoy, and a literary agent! But my job has been really slow. We got sold and bought twice, and almost went under. This year, I'd just really like to make some money. And whether that's from just having more clients, or getting to teach some classes where I work, or a book deal? (Although, I understand that debut authors don't really get much in the way of an advance, so I'm not expecting that!) I'd just really love to have enough money to not worry, and to get a few rad things.


7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Two of them. July 2nd, the day I got my first offer from an agent. And July 14th, the day I got a second offer, from the agent I ultimately signed with. July was HUGE for me.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

See above! And not only that, but writing a whole new novel, too. I mean, I've had all these Blueshift novels for years, with prequels and sequels and side-stories and such that I always wrote and wrote and wrote, but never really did anything with. And then SCADS of fanfics, too. But then I went for it and wrote something completely different. As I was writing it, spatterdash was writing her new novel, too, and we traded critiques, sometimes even a few times a week. The experience was amazing. She kept me motivated, and I also got to read her WIP – which was so good, it made me want to be a better writer.


9. What was your biggest failure?

I didn't work out. Or dance, or really move, like, at all. I've gotten really weak and out of shape, and I'm super disappointed in myself for that.

10- Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had such a bad sinus infection or something over late summer and fall that I thought I had a brain tumor and ran off to the doctor. And my TNJ dysfunction got really bad, like so so bad there were a few weeks when I couldn't move my jaw more than a few inches. Then last week, I got COXSACKIE of all damn things and had such a swollen lymph node in my neck that it was plain gross. And these seem minor and they are, but anxiety ramps everything up to eleven.
What was the best thing you bought?

I have to say the trip to Disney. Aside from books and some work clothes, I didn't buy anything else.


12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

A great many of my family members. And some of the people I worked with this year, for really just hanging in there, trying to make our place beautiful and functional again.


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Conservatives. And a family member, but I don't want to discuss that.

14- Where did most of your money go?

Bills, really. Paying off that vacation. And honestly, just groceries. How boring.*


15- What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Signing with my agent! And writing; boy, I got super excited about writing again. Like, really fired up in ways I hadn't been in years. That critique exchange was like a stick of dynamite to the ass.

And the Kenshin movies, oh my god. I haven't fangirled that hard in years, it was beautiful. And the new X Files coming out.

And Star Wars! Which I haven't seen yet.


16- What song will always remind you of 2015?

Uptown Funk, GOD it was everywhere, and my son loves it. And also, Take Me To Church. That sucker made me write an entire character.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder?  The same, I think. I'm a happy person in general; I tend to even out.

ii. thinner or fatter?  About ten pounds fatter. :/

iii. richer or poorer?  SO MUCH POORER.


18- What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercise. And LJ.




19- What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing about dumb things.



20. How will you be spending Christmas/New Years?

Christmas proper: First opening gifts with Callum and my Mom, then having dinner at my cousin Chrissie's house with her fam, and doing some Xmas over there. The day after that, seeing OTHER cousins Spence and Meg, also at Chrissie's house. And then Third Christmas, with all the cousins and my Mom and my high-school pal, since everyone is off work that day. New years? Nothing. Ehh.

And then after New Years, honestly, I just huddle down and wait for Spring.


Anyway, here's another one!

1- Will you be looking for a new job in 2016?


I hope not? I like my job and I really want us to be successful and stay afloat. I'll be teaching some classes, though.




2- Will you be looking for a new relationship?

Nah. Ain't nobody got time etc.



3- What will you do differently in 2016?

Dance more, I hope. Eat less, I also hope. Stress over stupid things less, if I can. Get a therapist? Definitely find a dentist.




4- What will you not be doing in 2016?

Tom Hardy, IDK. Sadly.


5- Any trips planned?

None planned, but I will probably stupidly go to Disney again.


6- What’s on your calendar?

Like, picture-wise? I always get the Llewellyn calendar, the zodiac one. I'm still really superstitious about doing important things during the void-of-course moon.


7- What can’t you wait for?

I can't wait for my book to go out on submission! But, minor things: I can't wait for X Files. I can't wait to see Star Wars. I can't wait for stupid SPRING to get here.

But in other ways, I don't want time to go too fast. Now that I have a kid, it's always a little weird saying, “I can't wait for this and that!” Because every day Callum is a little bigger, a little smarter, a little more grown up, and it's just going too fast. Getting bigger shoes for him just kills me.



8- What would you like to see happen differently?

In the world? I'd love to see people being less dickish and violent. I'd love to see some sane gun control in the world. I'd love for there to be less (or—gasp!--NO MASS SHOOTINGS!) But I think those are crazy fantasies.



9 - What about yourself will you be changing?

Hopefully I'll lose the weight and some of the stress.



10 - What happened in 2015 that you didn’t think would ever happen?

IDK, nothing, I think. I sort of always had faith that I would get an agent I loved. It's the world. Anything can happen.



11- Will you dress differently this year than you did in 2015?

Sort of? At work, we all wear black now. In the last few years, I was getting back into my colorful, swirly skirts and froofy shirts and that kind of thing. But now we wear black and that's also fine. I can't afford new clothes tbh.


12- Do you expect 2016 to be a good year for you?

It's really hard to expect anything. In some ways yes, in other ways no.


13- How much did you change from this time last year till now?

Not much, I don't think.



14- Wish for 2016?


My wish is always that no one I care for will get sick, or will die, or will be in any pain. But I'm always afraid to straight up wish for that kind of thing; it seems like asking too much.

My wish for the world is just less violence, you know? Less guns, less shouting and bloviating, less right wing conservative nonsense. I wish for a Democratic president. I don't even really f'ing care which one. I get so nervous in presidential election years.

My low-key, realistic (?) wish is to get a nice book deal. But I'm not sure how realistic that is, because we're not even done with edits yet, and I know this submission stuff can go on for ages. So while I do wish for that, I won't be sitting here holding my breath!



* ETA: Where did most of your money go? Actually, most of my money, not even kidding, went to Haku's vet bills. We're talking, like, a thousand a month sometimes, nothing left over for food - those kinds of bills. His seizures got really bad this year, and we made lots of vet visits and did lots of bloodwork and new meds. Haku is my baby, what can you do?

Tonight I got Belle's ashes back. That's always strange, you know. It's kind of a relief, but it also kind of puts you right back to where you were when it happened. I still keep going to check on her, reaching for her bowl, etc. I put her urn next to Gran's, with her collar hanging off of it and her tag on top. As I was doing that I was thinking, geez, there are so many ashes in my house, it's ridiculous. Five urns. That's excessive, right? Well, maybe not. Other people probably visit five or more graves each year.

I used to collect, sort of, funeral cards. Well, not that I would purposely collect them, just that I never throw them away, because that seems wrong, you know? Most of those cards were sort of distant: aunts, uncles, cousins I rarely saw. A set of grandparents I barely knew, and great grandparents I only saw on the holidays. Then in the last two years, those cards have gotten closer to home, and now I just don't look at them anymore. Because you see names on them you never thought you'd see.

Then of course, it makes you wonder, will someone "collect" you someday? Will your card be in a tidy pile in a drawer under some unburned incense? And then, you just become a chapter in someone else's story, right? You're a co-star of their drama, which continues without you. Weird, to think of it like that, isn't it?

But let's not think about things like that right now, or ever. Let's think about Dr. Who and Torchwood, and the new Zelda game. Yeah, the new Zelda game! I can't get enough of it, yet at the same time, I'm trying to stretch it out so that it lasts for a few months. Don't know how likely that is, but I'm hoping. Can't say I like it better than Ocarina, but I think I do like it better than Twilight Princess so far. And better than Majora's Mask and Windwaker, too.

Haku is still hobbling around on three legs, but he does toe-touch and he's getting four feet down some of the time, on and off. He stands on it, and has started trying to walk on it a little, with the sling. He has another checkup on Monday (today is Saturday.)

Oh, work today was slow (as it has been,) but I got a $41 tip. Forty-one, what's with the extra dollar? Should I play MegaMillions with it, maybe? That was awesome, but then my next client didn't tip me at all so it balanced out, I suppose. My Monday client gave me a huge basket of gourmet cheese and crackers, like unbelievably good stuff. I ate most of it today with Jo-chan while we watched Torchwood after work.

I think I've got most of my holiday gift shopping done. It's pretty crummy this year, can't even lie. People are getting, like, bits of string and dustbunnies from me. Actually, I did get most of the stuff on Etsy, because you can find super cheap, oddball stuff for people with particular tastes. And that's pretty cool.

Welp, it's more than halfway through December. Let's do some year end memes. Two of them gacked from spatterdash , as usual.

This one's easy. The first line I posted to LJ every month.

January: The new year starts in February when it's the year of the rabbit. This "January 1st" thing is some arbitrary western milestone. So there.

February: Last night I finished Dean Koontz's book What The Night Knows.

March: I just got off the phone with the vet.

April: Lady Chrysanthemum and I got our purple sashes together last night. JOY! ^_^

May: Haku had a seizure at 10 this morning, which is a really weird time for him.

June: Just saw Pirates with bestie Glassworker friend tonight (actually, last night.)

July: OMFG where have I been?

August: I have a long history with Harry Potter.

September: I need to document that the stiff, barbed, dead body of my catfish Dexter just stabbed me in the hand.

October: Right, so eventually I want to get on here and write about the movie 50/50 which I saw and really liked, and about Dr. Who, and Halloween, and taking my plants inside, and this and that and the other usual thing. Except, ffs, I can't get past the Occupy Wall Street thing.

November: HitRECord Halloween MASSIVE recap!

December: Today we had to say goodbye to Belle, my Gran's beloved mastiff. 


( And the questions meme: )

And here's another that I like! ( More questions! )

And that's it then, I guess, for the year-end memes and updates.

Gacked from skitty_kitty!

The Accent Meme:
Record aloud the following:

* Your name and/or username
* Where you're from
* The following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught, Orange, Coffee, direction, naturally, aluminium and herbs
* What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
* What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
* What do you call gym shoes?
* What do you say to address a group of people?
* What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
* What do you call your grandparents?
* What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
* What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
* What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Umm, this is weird. I gacked this off of skitty_kitty and we got the exact same frigging answer, lending even more evidence that we are, in fact, the same damn person.


( Big huge long results. )

Speaking of, I spent the weekend writing my stupid novel. I haven't really written in months. You lose the groove; that's really what "writer's block" is, because writer's block is a myth. No one simply can't write. You just have to forget your fear of sucking, and write anyway.

So my novel's main problem is that the first three chapters are ridiculously boring, and everyone agrees that's so. So, I added a few new scenes and characters to liven things up.

Now I've got mind-sucking zombies, whores, and RELIGIOUS CULTS as well as a few new hopefully creepy characters.

I'm happy. My characters are the lovers I long to return home to when I'm in school and that hasn't happened in a long time.

I think everyone should write stories. ^_^ It doesn't matter what they're about. :)

Hey, I got a brand new stove and range! It's black and it's so cute, nice and clean, new and fresh. Everything in my house is changing. It's weird, and too soon. You know? But it's the nicest little range. It was supposed to go in on Friday but it was raining and the electrician couldn't come then, so it was done today and yay.

There were so many other things I wanted to babble about, but I have to get up at ass o'clock again tomorrow and I'm actually kinda sleepy anyway. My wonderful friend Kim is coming over tomorrow after school so we could sneak ice cream into the movies again, though I don't know what we're going to go see.

I love these late spring nights where it stays warm, and then you go out to the movies and hang out in the parking lot afterwards talking about what you just saw, and why it sucked or why it was great. I've loved that since I was a kid.

But it could be warmer. I'm still wearing my sweater here, people, and it's frigging June. Can we have some heat up in this bitch? Thanks.

Check out this neat page: What words do you use the most?
I entered all of my previous LJ entries from this page alone. This is what I got back. ( Here are my results... )

Ummm, GO. Apparently that is my most-used word. I think this is a great tool to enter in, say a chapter of a story or something to see if you're being repetitive. But it's fun on LJ too.

Anyway.

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you. My words are from the lovely spatterdash. :)

1.) Hula - It's hard to really fully explain what Hula means to me because I think it would take the entire ten years I've studied it to really create the picture. But, it's not just a dance to me, and actually it is more than a culture as well. It's almost a way for me to fit into myself. And while I'm at it, I can represent a culture as well as I am able, too. Aside from all of that, the experience of learning it from Kumu Hula, getting to know them and meeting other dancers, as well as learning the language as much as possible and the meanings behind all of this beautiful Hawaiian poetry, is invaluable to me.

2.) Birds - My birdies! Okay, so really the only bad thing about when I lost my job last year, aside from not seeing my friends on a regular basis, is never knowing when the little orphans are ending up at The Bad Place, and knowing what their fate usually was when I wasn't around. And to go beyond the idea of baby birds and me raising them, birds in general? I just love the little bastards. They're so tiny and fragile, but they are as tough as any large animal and their tenacity to life is so humbling. The way they attack you when they think you're threatening them or their babies is both hilarious and inspiring. "I know you're a million times my size and I'm probably going to die, but I'm taking you with me!" You just gotta admire that.

3.) Asskicking - YEAH! Funny, how it's "asskicking" and not "Kung Fu" because ass kicking encompasses so much. :D But my main form of asskicking is Kung Fu, although to be honest, I'm usually the one getting her ass kicked. No matter! When it comes down to it, I really think that in what we martial artists euphemistically call "a Real Life Situation," I could probably not only handle myself and get home alive, but probably lay down some asskicking into the deal. However, I also try to kick ass at other things as well and sometimes I actually succeed. ^_^

4.) Garden - Interesting! Ten years ago I wasn't an "avid gardener." It started out small, with some irises here and there. Over the years I saw some returning and spreading flowers, and the success, let me tell you, kind of gets to you! When spring comes around and everything looks so green and lush, there's something about that which is--if I can get real cheesy for a second here--really transporting. Gardens are timeless and cross-cultural. Surrounded by flowers and trees, you can be anywhere, at any time. My Gran was a life-long gardener, and my Grandpa was a landscaper. So sometimes I feel like I get a lot of inspiration from them when wondering what to plant, and where, and when, and how.

5.) Ohana - Interesting that the word is "'Ohana" and not "family." I think anyone can have a family, but 'Ohana has a more expansive meaning. Typically in Hawaiian culture, it took the entire 'Ohana to raise children and to teach them. There was a lot of sharing of responsibility going on, grandparents and elders were valued, children were sometimes actually raised by them. It's kind of the same with most Native people, I think. And that's really how it was in my family. If someone couldn't take care of their kids, they ended up with my parents or with our grandparents. My folks have done a lot of good for a lot of people. Of course, there is the idea of extended 'Ohana as well, where everyone is your cousin, your auntie, or your uncle, and the people you dance with are your Hula brothers and sisters. Again, this idea is pervasive in my life, as in Kung Fu the people you train with are also your brothers and sisters, and Sifu is your uncle and the inventors of your style are your ancestors. So, for an only child I really do have a lot of brothers and sisters. ^_^

Great words! Thanks, spatterdash. ^_^

Okay! Remember last night I got all fangirly and drew that dumb picture? Well, don't I just have to color everything? ( Clicketywhee. )
You know what I love about that drawing that I did? His coat. I think I did a fairly okay job on his coat. ^_^

I've had OpenCanvas for years and only in the last few of those years have I learned how to cut certain parts, paste them over things, cut colors, and do stock backgrounds. It is such a neat program. But the truth is I really only only color when I'm super bored. I should really just buy myself some coloring books. :)

I had my first tech class yesterday. That's the hands-on, touchy-feely, prodding strangers class. Umm, it was a little strange, I'll be honest with you. I was a little grossed out. How is it that I can spend all this time petting my dogs, who are great hairy beasts who take regular mud-baths, and that I can spend hours rolling around a dirty mat with sweaty boys, but touching strangers grosses me out so much? WTF.

AND! I ordered my treatment table. It should be here in 2 weeks or so. Joy! I know it is hard work, but I think it will be work that I will enjoy. I can practice on my friends and family. I've already got a queue; Gold Dragon called dibs. ^_^

I guess I just wish that sometime soon I'll have the ability to make people feel better, to ease illnesses and pain. Wouldn't that be ideal? Yes it would.

Well it seems that I've got two weekly tests this trimester, both from the two hardcore classes (A&P II and Myo I) but I feel pretty comfy about next week so I can put the studying off for a while. I've got the rest of the night to--what?--play Okami, doodle, watch episodes of Rescue Me, or whatever.

HOW EXCITING. ;)

Directions: Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.


skitty_kitty chose mine!

BIRDS: Oh my birdies! Every summer I get anywhere between 30-100 orphaned, injured, or otherwise debilitated baby birds, and through the year I get some adults, too. This started the very first year I worked at The Bad Place, and even though that all went to hell, I totally believe that this was one of the reasons I had to do my time there. Some of the birds end up being non-releasable and I keep them for the duration of their (often short) lives. Those become my very good friends. I've had birds missing a wing, ones who were stone blind (my sweet grackle Ray,) ones with communicable diseases (my crow who has avian pox,) and currently I have a robin with some severe neurological disorder or a brain tumor. As long as they are not in any pain, as long as they eat, drink, bathe, perch and sing, I don't euthanize them. The birdies mean so much to me.

ZOMBIES: I KILL THEM, YES. Well, in Resident Evil I kill them. I also: have nightmares about them, dress up as them, do movies about them and write stories about them. I think most stories are better with some zombie action. My own stupid novel has brain-sucking zombies in it. My first "encounter" with zombies was in the movie "Mausoleum" which still gives me the shivers to this day. I saw that crap when I was 10 and it scarred me for life. It was great!

HOT BOYS: Ahh, my husbands! You know, I couldn't probably even define for you what is "hot" to me. It's like an ever-changing paradigm. Usually I like tall, dark and weird, but there's the occasional blond beautiful boy, and holy crap am I partial to redheads. Ewan McGregor in Shallow Grave? Umm, quite possibly the hottest thing there is. Also, I tend to make a total moron of myself whenever goodlooking men are around; I know I can never measure up, so I just kind of sputter and look away. Pathetic!

HULA: Actually one of the ways in which I define myself. I started it kinda on accident back in late '98. My belly-dance teacher gave my friend and I a free Hula lesson for Christmas. She kinda never got into it, but I was hooked that very day. Since then I've been traveling all over the country, and to HI a few years ago, to study Hula, learn the language, chants, history, etc. I perform all over the damn place and it's one of my favorite things to do. Finally--FINALLY--this May, I have an official teaching job. ^_^

KUNG FU: Another self-definition thing for me. This is my therapy. I go twice a week (wish I could do all three!) and I never leave the kwon but that I feel accomplished, refreshed, young, joyful and loved. Some of my closest friends are my training brothers and sisters. In fact on Wednesday the Empress said to me, "I think that when new people come into our school, they see that we have something awesome. Not just the Kung Fu, but us. We all seem to really like each other. I think people understand that and they want to be a part of it." She is a wise young girl. The "family" aspect is a big part of Kung Fu for me. Even if the family is dysfunctional in some ways, heck, what family isn't? Anyway. Kung Fu is my fountain of health, physical, emotional and even mental. :)

It's so windy today I can't even tell you. Well, I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

I should be studying for anat/phys Saturday, but today I just needed to stop for a little while. I went shopping with my Mom and I bought a pair of jeans. (Men's jeans are the only ones that are long enough for me.) I haven't been out of the house in so long other than to go to school and Kung Fu. I suppose that in April, going to China however will count towards "getting out of the house." ^_^

Tonight, my wonderful friend Kim is coming over for--take a guess!--pizza and a movie and some ice cream. She is helpful to me in figuring out what I'm thinking in terms of where I want to go with this school, with medicine, with science and all that kind of stuff. She helps me organize my thoughts in a way. It's hard to explain.

Yesterday in channels and points we were doing a lab, and we have to put sticky dots on each other in order to show various points on various meridians. (This is all stuff we have to memorize for the mid term and final, and there are hundreds, and we have to remember them by name nd by function. Some of the have about five cross-over functions each and we have to know those, too. Along with where they meet with other meridians, connect to organs, and other stuff that it would take me about six weeks to explain. It's all memorization, and it's memorization of stuff that doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense to me in the first place. So this is my hardest class. Anyway, I digress.) So I'm lying there on the table with people sticking dots on me because it was my turn, and it was close to lunch time so I mentioned that I was really hungry. Well there is this very sweet girl in the class, she's Asian and speaks beautiful English, and she came by and stuck a grape in my mouth without warning. I damn near choked, but it was so funny. I think I swallowed one of the sticky dots, too. They end up everywhere. I was pulling them out of my shirt, pants and shoes even during Kung Fu, after I had changed my clothes.

Speaking of, Kung Fu has been pretty great in terms of workouts and drills. I've gone home from it in the last two weeks feeling so tired but still so energized. My knuckles are totally wrecked and they look really ugly though. That's another thing I'll have to keep in mind when doing either massage therapy or any other kind of work with patients. I think I'll have to wear bandages and such.

Well, other than that, some silly quizzes.
( LJ spam )

The thing about Chinese medicine is that they got it. They knew that certain herbs and applications worked. They had something for everything, fr depession to high blood pressure, from diabetes to prolapsed uterus. They really did treat it all, and still do. It seems to me that they were awesome observers. They looked at the world around them, saw cycles that couldn't exist without each other, saw creation and destruction in everything, saw light and dark, and basically took in everything that ever was or would be, and applied it to their entire world view, including medicine. If it works in the world outside of the human body, it must work inside, too. "As above, so below." If you had a fever, you took a cooling herb. If you were suffering from chills, you took a warming herb. If something was rising that shouldn't be (food, blood pressure, gas,) you took a lowering herb. If things were lowering too fast (diarrhea, heavy periods,) you took a rising herb.

And, those treatments did what they were supposed to do, and they still do what they are supposed to do. It amazes me how people can deny that herbs can affect your physiology. If you take cyanide, you are poisoned. If you eat spice, you feel warmed. how can people even question that what you put into your body--even if it is not in colored pill form--affects your physiology? It's undeniable. And there's more and more evidence towards this as western scientists study these totally ancient ideas, like ginseng and green tea etc.; things Chinese medicine has used for millennia.

(Tangentially I'd like to add that the reasoning behind much of this is no more or less than the reasoning behind witchcraft itself: creation or destruction, healing or harming, through the use of directed energy. I've even run into the pentagram already in the Creation Cycle.)

But now it's time for the two to intersect. I agree with the holism of Eastern medicine much more than I agree with the Western treatment of symptoms instead of illnesses; yet I need to know the reason why. I do, to a point, believe in chi, and the forces of energy (physics and chemistry and all natural science agree that everything has energy, which can never be destroyed; is it so far fetched to believe that it might flow in channels through living organisms? Electricity, blood, countless chemicals follow established paths along the bodies of living organisms, so couldn't energy also do the same thing?) I get that; I do.

But even if so, there is more to it than "dispersing liver fire" or "bringing chi and blood to the stomach." I'm willing to accept that that is a part of how acupuncture and herbs work, and I thoroughly do accept that this is a reflection of the natural world onto the human body. And I dig metaphors, I really do. My first degree is in literature. Metaphor and I are old, familiar bed-fellows. We still get together to make out a few times a week.

But now it's time to understand the science of why these remedies work the way they do. All herbs are made up of certain molecules which affect physiology in countless different ways. That is what I wish to understand. I don't want half of the reasons; I don't want just the metaphorical side. I want all the reasons. I want the eastern medicine with the western reasons. There are thousands of books on the effects of digitalis on the heart, mushrooms on the brain, all manner of poisons; countless studies of vegetables and their effects on health, the exact mechanisms by which they change the body chemistry. Why are there so few western studies on the effects of Oriental herbal medicine? And why are people so quick to dismiss the fact that they work; that they must work? Is it because they feel like Oriental medicine is its own metaphysical thing and is totally separate from "real" medicine and therefore neither practitioners nor proponents nor patients of it require any such knowledge?

Well, I do. I want to know, in scientific terms, what does what.

So at some point, these classes are going to need to intersect. I am keeping an open mind and really enjoying the history behind Oriental medicine, but so far, that's what it is to me: history. Now it's time to start figuring out the other half of it.

Says she who has only been in school for a week. LOL!

/rant

So anyway, madly enough, so far my favorite classes are anatomy/physiology and chemistry. Although, chemistry is giving me a bitch of a time with the math parts of it. I recognize that this is simple math, like 9th grade level or below; things I should have learned even in junior high. Yet I just keep on struggling with it. Even with the use of a calculator I still have to do it four or five times to arrive at the right number. There are just so many of them. And I suspect that this isn't something that anyone can really, truly help me with. I just keep doing it wrong no matter how many times I read the text on the right way to do the formulas. I sat in the quiet student lounge today for over an hour, doing the simplest of problems over and over till I got them right, but even though I recognize them as so simple and so basic, still they were hard for me and I know I still got some of them wrong. For years in school my teachers all said that if I tried harder I could do better. Believe me, at least at this point, it is not for lack of trying. So that's problematic. But! The other aspects of chemistry I really am coming to love. Which is so cool for me, because I was so afraid of it for so long. Take the numbers out of chemistry and it borders on philosophy, on art. I view it with stupid awe and ridiculous excitement.

Anatomy and physiology, well, wow. Only one day of it, and I remembered so vividly why I loved it the first few times, and how much I loved it. It is deeply satisfying to know these things. Not only to know them but to start to understand them all over again. I had forgotten so much and I picked it all back up in the first class. These classes go exceedingly fast, by the way! They are massively accelerated. The first class comprised about a half a semester of the bio class I took in college, and we're already responsible for knowing all the material. It's a lot of memorization, but fortunately for me, it's an awful lot of word-logic. Gross anatomy is easy for me because things are exactly what they sound like.

How I will do when these things start to get more complicated remains to be seen. But I think that if I can keep up the passion I feel for it, then it should sink in relatively easily. I'm the kind of person who will read a biology book for pleasure. So I hope that I can continue along that way.

Well! And that's me, at one whole week of school. That's my mana'o. Let's see how this progresses. :)

Now, ( some meme spam! Including the icon one that's going around. ^_^ )

House is on tonight! ^_^

Lala, fin!

Huge snowstorm! NIIIICE! Except that I doubt the snow will still be around by Christmas day. It will, however, be around tomorrow, which is the Winter Solstice and thus for me, the true holiday. ^_^

SB came by yesterday on his way home from one of his finals, and I gave him his b'day gift which was a scale model of Flea's blue Modulus bass. He really liked it and I was glad. Every year I try to find the perfect, absolutely perfect gift for people. Sometimes I fail, but once in a while I hit the jackpot. ^_^ I think I did pretty well with Crimbo gifties this year, too, but we'll see.

Monday I am going out with Lao Shir, The Lady Chrysanthemum, Snarklit and another lady who used to train with us, to toast the holiday and just chill out at a pub for a bit. I can't wait because I haven't seen two of those people since the summer. I foresee that it's going to be one of those all-around pleasant evenings.

Here's some really good news for today: Obama names 4 top members of science team. Here's why the news is so good:

WASHINGTON – President-elect Barack Obama's selection Saturday of a Harvard physicist and a marine biologist for science posts is a sign he plans a more aggressive response to global warming than did the Bush administration.

John Holdren and Jane Lubchenco are leading experts on climate change who have advocated forceful government action. Holdren will become Obama's science adviser as director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy. Lubchenco will lead the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which oversees ocean and atmospheric studies and does much of the government's research on global warming.

...
"It's time we once again put science at the top of our agenda and worked to restore America's place as the world leader in science and technology," Obama said in announcing the selections in his weekly radio address.

The president-elect said promoting science means more than just providing money, but also is about ensuring that facts and evidence are never twisted or obscured by politics or ideology.

"From landing on the moon, to sequencing the human genome, to inventing the Internet, America has been the first to cross that new frontier because we had leaders who paved the way," Obama said. "Leaders who not only invested in our scientists, but who respected the integrity of the scientific process."

I read the words of the scientists he had chosen and I was so heartened and so glad. This is a huge freaking pole-vault in the right direction, finally.

So anyway. Soooo I've got my gifties wrapped (well, bagged really,) and my house clean, all the birds fed, laundry put away and grocery shopping done for the week. Should I really, really sit in front of the TV and re-play RE4 for the rest of the day? Really?

^_^

Oh! And here's a photo meme I remember from about three years ago, but I don't remember who I gacked it from. Sorry. >_<

Post your favorite photos of the year. They can be of anything. They can be taken by you, or can have you in them. Whichever. Here are mine, ( under the cut. )

Yeah, I'll have to go with that group of photos. :D