this year's ashes

[la_belle_laide]

Tonight I got Belle's ashes back. That's always strange, you know. It's kind of a relief, but it also kind of puts you right back to where you were when it happened. I still keep going to check on her, reaching for her bowl, etc. I put her urn next to Gran's, with her collar hanging off of it and her tag on top. As I was doing that I was thinking, geez, there are so many ashes in my house, it's ridiculous. Five urns. That's excessive, right? Well, maybe not. Other people probably visit five or more graves each year.

I used to collect, sort of, funeral cards. Well, not that I would purposely collect them, just that I never throw them away, because that seems wrong, you know? Most of those cards were sort of distant: aunts, uncles, cousins I rarely saw. A set of grandparents I barely knew, and great grandparents I only saw on the holidays. Then in the last two years, those cards have gotten closer to home, and now I just don't look at them anymore. Because you see names on them you never thought you'd see.

Then of course, it makes you wonder, will someone "collect" you someday? Will your card be in a tidy pile in a drawer under some unburned incense? And then, you just become a chapter in someone else's story, right? You're a co-star of their drama, which continues without you. Weird, to think of it like that, isn't it?

But let's not think about things like that right now, or ever. Let's think about Dr. Who and Torchwood, and the new Zelda game. Yeah, the new Zelda game! I can't get enough of it, yet at the same time, I'm trying to stretch it out so that it lasts for a few months. Don't know how likely that is, but I'm hoping. Can't say I like it better than Ocarina, but I think I do like it better than Twilight Princess so far. And better than Majora's Mask and Windwaker, too.

Haku is still hobbling around on three legs, but he does toe-touch and he's getting four feet down some of the time, on and off. He stands on it, and has started trying to walk on it a little, with the sling. He has another checkup on Monday (today is Saturday.)

Oh, work today was slow (as it has been,) but I got a $41 tip. Forty-one, what's with the extra dollar? Should I play MegaMillions with it, maybe? That was awesome, but then my next client didn't tip me at all so it balanced out, I suppose. My Monday client gave me a huge basket of gourmet cheese and crackers, like unbelievably good stuff. I ate most of it today with Jo-chan while we watched Torchwood after work.

I think I've got most of my holiday gift shopping done. It's pretty crummy this year, can't even lie. People are getting, like, bits of string and dustbunnies from me. Actually, I did get most of the stuff on Etsy, because you can find super cheap, oddball stuff for people with particular tastes. And that's pretty cool.

Welp, it's more than halfway through December. Let's do some year end memes. Two of them gacked from spatterdash , as usual.

This one's easy. The first line I posted to LJ every month.

January: The new year starts in February when it's the year of the rabbit. This "January 1st" thing is some arbitrary western milestone. So there.

February: Last night I finished Dean Koontz's book What The Night Knows.

March: I just got off the phone with the vet.

April: Lady Chrysanthemum and I got our purple sashes together last night. JOY! ^_^

May: Haku had a seizure at 10 this morning, which is a really weird time for him.

June: Just saw Pirates with bestie Glassworker friend tonight (actually, last night.)

July: OMFG where have I been?

August: I have a long history with Harry Potter.

September: I need to document that the stiff, barbed, dead body of my catfish Dexter just stabbed me in the hand.

October: Right, so eventually I want to get on here and write about the movie 50/50 which I saw and really liked, and about Dr. Who, and Halloween, and taking my plants inside, and this and that and the other usual thing. Except, ffs, I can't get past the Occupy Wall Street thing.

November: HitRECord Halloween MASSIVE recap!

December: Today we had to say goodbye to Belle, my Gran's beloved mastiff. 


And the questions meme:

Will you be looking for a new job in 2012?

Not a new job, but extra work, probably. Ideally I can fix up the spare room and use that for treatments so that I can do a few hours a week from home.

Will you be looking for a new relationship?

No, not really. If something happens, great, but I'm not going to go out of my way.

What will you do differently in 2012?

I'm not too sure. Hopefully try to save more money, though. Although most of my expenses have been out of my control (vet bills, car, things like that.) Maybe I will start writing that other novel I've had on the back burner.

Any trips planned?

I wish! I had thought that this past year I would get to go to Japan. That didn't happen, obviously, and I'm certainly not going to have the money to go this coming year, either.

What’s on your calendar?

Not much, right now. Kung Fu party. That's about it.

What can’t you wait for?

To find an agent and get started with this whole publishing thing.

What would you like to see happen differently?

For myself, I'd like to get a "YES" on my query letter instead of the "this is great, but..." For the world, I'd like OWS to continue to grow, but for awareness of other ingrained problems to grow exponentially.


What about yourself will you be changing?

I really don't know. I'd like to be more dedicated to various arts, maybe.

What happened in 2011 that you didn’t think would ever happen?

A revolution, bitches.

Do you expect 2012 to be a good year for you?

I do. Because I'm an optimist.

How much did you change from this time last year till now?

Some, I guess. Having a job I really like has changed me in positive ways. Getting to help people on a daily basis is pretty good. And it's funny, when I was in school I was afraid that I would forget everything I'd learned after the boards exam. In fact, I feel like I know more now than I did in school, when I was studying every day.

Major lifestyle changes?

In terms of diet, exercise and things like that, probably not.

What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 2012 that happened in 2011?

There's just no way for me to foretell things like that. The things I didn't like were all out of my control.

What are your New Year’s Eve plans?

Play Skyward Sword and go to bed? :)

Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?

Nah. New Years Eve isn't a big deal to me. The lunar new year is much more fun.

Wish for 2012?

Well, it's election year, so obviously my nerves are going to be shot for a while. I'll take any president who's going to protect our actual rights. And with "our" I'm being all-inclusive here: women, lgbt people, minorities, anyone marginalized or oppressed. And no, I don't mean you, white, hetero, cissexual Christian males. You're already protected.

Do you plan on having a child?

I gave myself a scare when I read this question because my gut answer was, "Yeah, I guess." O_O

Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?

I sure hope so! But then, I thought that last year, too. I was like, what could change? Then I had a major falling-out with a family member, which I never thought would happen in a million years. I would hope that this never happens again.


And here's another that I like!

What was your favorite moment of the year?
I'm gonna have to say that the HitRECord Halloween show was, if not the best, then among them. Just going around the city with my brother and my cousin, meeting tons of people from the website, getting to meet Sean Lennon and his band, Joe (JGL) and Jared Geller. Running around the streets in costume and generally celebrating the hell out of Halloween.

What was your least favorite moment of the year? Losing Belle. Also, everything with Haku.

What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2011? Probably Harry Potter 7.2.

What was your favorite album from 2011 I think that must be Seth MacFarlane's album, tbh.

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I'm not big on shame, and the things that other people are ashamed of don't really bother me. I just do my best to be nice and not hurt people. If I have, then I'm sorry. You know, unless they were dicks and they deserved it. ^_^

Did you treat somebody badly in 2011? I must have done, because I can be a total bitch and I snap at people when I'm in a bad mood. So I'm sure I pissed some people off and probably ruined someone's good mood here and there. But did I go out of my way to mistreat someone, or did I purposely hurt or betray anyone? Nah.

 Did somebody treat you badly in 2011 Yes, absolutely, and it surprised and bothered me more than I like to let on. I'm still mad and upset about it.

How much money did you spend in 2011 A crapton more than I made. But most of this was vet bills.

What is one thing you did in 2011 that you’d never done before?  Had bits of short films I'd made played on big screens in LA, NY and a few other places. Thanks, HitRECord!

Did someone close to you give birth? My new, awesome bosslady!

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? A literary agent. Seriously, universe, I mean this. Also, enough money to pay off my bills.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a job I really like. And probably getting those film clips played. I hope to keep doing that.

What was your biggest failure? Not querying enough. Getting discouraged.

Whose behavior merited celebration? Occupy Wall Street – I'm talking about the overall spirit of the thing, and not necessarily the behavior of individuals, since I can't know what they're like.

 Whose behavior made you appalled? The NYPD, the Seattle PD, and police departments in general when dealing with peaceful assembly. The Tea Party. Westboro Baptist Church, as usual. And a few family members, if we're being honest.

 Where did most of your money go?  Vet bills.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? OWS.

 Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or hardened?  b)thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer? s Happier, I think. But poorer. About the same weight, but with less muscle.

What was your favorite TV program? Dr. Who!

What was the best book you read? I read a ton of them, but as for the best, I'm probably in the middle of it now: Stephen King's 11/22/63.

What did you want and get? A job.

What did you want and not get? Agent.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tom Hardy, David Tennant, and John Barrowman. Mostly Tom Hardy.

What kept you sane?  Balanced brain chemicals and the absence of inherited conditions. But to chill out and relax, probably Dr. Who. And lately, Skyward Sword.


And that's it then, I guess, for the year-end memes and updates.