Last finals, birds, dreams

[la_belle_laide]

Let's see. Today I studied for my last ever finals. I studied my face off, and I still don't feel prepared. It's not as if I think I'll fail, because I know enough to get by decently. However, I don't think I can swing an A, and that's going to be crushing. If that's the case, it would be my first A- since Dad. I have just never really been feeling this class. I don't know if it's because I checked out already and just want to gtfo, or what, but I never really caught on. And tomorrow is the final (I'm doing the written and practical in one shot, so I don't have to be there on the last day, which is really cool,) and I spent a lot of time studying today, and already it's gone from my damn head. Poof.

Last night I was on the phone with This Guy (boy, he really needs a better code name) and we were having a pretty decent conversation about ice cream and pie, when I heard a racket from the bird room. I didn't even need to see, to know that it was Dana having a seizure. She's had maybe one like this before, when she was young, but I really thought she had improved over the years. Although, the night I went to see Harry Potter, right before we left she started making this really strange, noisy chirping sound. I had a vague feeling that it was some kind of seizure then, but then I thought maybe I was overreacting. I should trust my bird instincts.

I started her on Arnica TID again, which I haven't given her in years because she hasn't needed it. I can't think of anything else to give her. It's not like she's got primary epilepsy or anything. She has some kind of brain dysfunction but I can hardly give her an MRI or even an x ray. So I just have to guess.

Today I had a very weird thing happen. The phone rang, and even though I already knew who it was (it was This Guy,) the first place my mind went was, "Oh, Dad's calling. Finally!" I don't even know where that came from.

Oh boy, and I have been having some seriously cracked out dreams. Like, swimming around the living room in my Grandma's old house (which now belongs to my cousins,) trying to dive for plastic gems while the Andrew Sisters sing in the background, and then Tom Hardy asks me to make out and I stare at him and think "This is the best day ever" and then the alarm clock goes off, kind of weird. Like, shopping at K Mart for fuzzy skirts and corsets, and once again, for reasons beyond my ken, Joe Biden is the door greeter kind of weird.

How dull of me; I can't think of any other news fit to print. It's Tuesday, it's chilly, I haven't decorated for the holidays, gotten a tree, nor bought any cards, though I considered all of the above. I just don't know if I'm going to this year. I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes I really feel like it, and then other times I feel like, "What's the point?"

Well, at least I get my finals out of the way tomorrow – whether or not I do well enough is another thing entirely. And then, I swear, I don't even want to open another effing book.

I mean, until the board exam gets closer, that is. Umm. :)