Blather, rinse, repeat

I was driving to PT today after dropping Callum off at school and I totally had something in mind to write about, but now I can't remember what it was.

PT though, PT is actually fun. I know it's a drag for some people, but it actually helps me a lot, and the people there are super nice. Most of them are like, 20-30 years younger than I am, aside from the PT himself who's a year or two older. It's a very chatty place, everyone always ends up talking and being really social. last week, I met the best friend of the woman who wrote Jennifer's Body.

There's a young woman there, Emma, she's the PT assistant. She's 27 and we get along so well. We started chatting early on last year because, on a hunch, I asked her if she played Animal Crossing New Horizons, and she about lost her mind. And so now we visit each other's islands and such.

Animal Crossing new Horizons was important to me (still is) (and to a lot of people) because it came out right at the beginning of covid lockdowns in '20, and no one could visit each other. So everyone built their version of paradise, and the game had the, like, totally prescient function of allowing people to visit each other's "homes" and interact with each other. Bring gifts, talk, "eat" together, visit the museum, shop at each other's stores, go swimming and fishing with friends. A lot of people who had to put off or cancel their weddings did ceremonies on their islands, and invited their friends, which is epic.

My one friend - actually her Mom was my friend, we were Hula sisters back in the day. But she (the Mom I was friends with) died from covid in march of '20. (And I mean, it was godawful, GODAWFUL, and it happened really fast, literally within hours her daughter was posting "Mom has covid" and then an hour later, the hospital, and then an hour later, ventilator and then by the next morning she was gone. That's how fast it was, and that's part of why I get so angry at people who still-_STILL! ALMOST THREE YEARS LATER! SIX MILLION PEOPLE DEAD!!--don't take it seriously.)

Anyway. So my friend passed, and her daughter plays ACNH, and at the time, there were no funerals going on. So she had a funeral for her on her island. I can still go to her island any time I wish, and visit her grave there. I was able to bring flowers.

I know it sounds ridiculous but ACNH was huge for a lot of people back then.

I still play it too, because they did this update where you can design homes for hundreds of different characters, and they come with certain requirements or preferences. I've always loved any kind of game where you can design and decorate things. This really hits my "dollhouse" sweet spot.

HEY I still don't remember what it was I really wanted to write about this morning!

EDIT: I treated my co-worker on Monday (massage treatment) and she was supposed to treat me tomorrow because we trade. She texted me earlier to say "I wasn't feeling great yesterday, do you mind if we bump it to next week?" and I was like OF COURSE??? Have you MET ME? Then she texted me a few minutes later to tell me she tested positive.

So I treated her Monday, she started to get sick on tuesday. Now we wait to see if I come down with it. :( I was wearing a mask (I always do,) but she wasn't. My room is 10X10 and unventilated.

I know I've been exposed in the same way before, but this one is way more transmissible, so I guess we'll see. Jesus.

My either/or for most of last month (and all of this month so far) is either write in journal / do anything else OR do manuscript critiques with my good friend [Bad username or site: ”spatterdash” @ livejournal.com]. And the critique trades have been SO STUPID MUCH FUN that I've just gotten so involved in them. Can't stop won't stop. (Fun fact, I still think of “spatterdash” as “d_r_o_n_e”.) This is the most fun I've ever had trading crits. It makes a big difference when it's something you look forward to—reading the other person's work, as well as getting feedback on your own—instead of dreading it.

But I should write a few things down, too, like about this past few weeks in general.

It seems like so many of my close friends are having massive anxiety / bouts of depression lately, all at once. And this kinda includes me, too, with the anxiety. Some of the things I can laugh about (like the other day, I read something about how the shape of certain toddler's heads can cause intra cranial pressure and brain damage and I FLIPPED OUT, went nuts for a few days, called the doctor, the whole shebang, doc told me to basically chill,) and other things are really sticking with me, like the way that Medicare only lets women over 65 get one checkup EVERY TWO YEARS WTF, and how dangerous that is? Major issue sticking to the inside of my skull right now!

Here's a thing that pissed me off and worried me, too. So last week, a friend of mine wrote a post about how important it is to keep your cats indoors for various reasons. I totally agreed, seeing as how I, at the time anyway, had a tiny baby oriole who'd been attacked by a cat. (Oriole—which Callum named Siba—later died. :( ) And also because cats take dumps in my yard, I don't want cat turds in my garden, and dogs eat the poop, which, you know, makes them very ill. This happened to a good friend of mine recently.

So then another gal comes along, and I've been sort of HitRECord friends with her for about five years. Not super close, but like, we used to chat all the time in TinyChat, on Facebook, whatnot. So, she comes along and replies that she keeps her cats indoors, but not because she cares about the stupid birds or my gross f'n dogs, like why would she care if my stupid dogs or some dumb birds died?

And now I'm like... Wow? How do you say that about someone's dogs, right? I know a lot of people don't take pets, or pet-owners seriously. I get that to a lot of people we're considered a little flakey or whatever. There's lots of stuff I don't particularly care about, but I wouldn't say that to people I knew who did care.

So I felt like something else was up, and I messaged her like, Dude, wht the hell? Why would you say a thing like that? Is something wrong? Because I totally thought we were okay. I always made nice comments on your art, the pics you post of your cats, have always supported you on hR, and, you know, sort of pathetically, I thought we were kind of friends?

And she wrote back, “I don't owe you anything just because you liked a few of my things, THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL, so just unfriend me or whatever.”

And I say, “Well, I've always felt that the only thing you owe someone who is kind to you, is kindness in return. That's how I roll, so, you know. And I have to say, I will miss our chats, if that's how it's to be, because I always did like you.”

And do you know what she replied? “You are honestly no loss to me.”

Okay, what the hell with that? And let me say that this is TOTALLY out of the blue. And logically, I'm going, “Well, obviously, she is an asshole of gigantic proportions, so let it go.” But the irrational part of me is going, Did I miss an episode or something? Was I evil to her in a way that I didn't realize? And then I start freaking out, thinking, do OTHER people feel that way, too? Do all of my other friends kind of secretly dislike me, or just put up with me or something? Who is gonna do that next? Someone I'd really super hate to lose?

This kind of stuff doesn't end after high school, you know? Goes on and on well into adulthood and comes from the most surprising places.

But anyway. So I'm trying not to dwell on that too much. I mean, I know whatever is up is her problem and totally not mine anymore, I'm just stuck thinking about, “But what if everyone else...?”

Aside from that. Yeah, so I had that oriole, who was a little beauty but didn't survive, and I also have a little baby crow, who Callum named Matu. A really good little crow.

Callum named them Siba and Matu because lately he's been making up his own words and using them in songs, and then dancing along when he sings them. “Siba, mati, matu, YAY!” “Siba, mingo, mango, mingi, YAY!” And he does these moves like the Maori Haka, which he's never seen, so what even.

He actually did something hilARious last night, had me in tears laughing, but it's TMI and I would hate to put that out there but OMG. So funny.

Callum is really into birds in general, as I think I've mentioned. (How could he not be?) But now, aside from knowing all the kinds of birds in the yard, and all their calls, he also knows their babies' calls. “Mahh mahh beebee grack-ow. Ree ree beebee stee-ling!”

And today, he actually told me the story of what happened to him in the morning: “Gram-gram work. Things to do. Guy-guy Gram gram! Wah-hah-hah. Cam-cam blue truck, fire truck, yay! Guy-guy truck! Wah-hah-hah. Gram-gram cookie. Thankee gram-gram. Wah-hah-hah!” Which basically means: “we went to visit Grandma at work, but she had things to do so we said bye-bye, and I LOST MY CRAP IN THE STORE BECAUSE I WANT GRANDMA. Then I played with some cars and trucks in the store, and I had to stop doing that, too, so I FLIPPED OUT CRYING. Then we saw Grandma again and she gave me a cookie, which I had to stop eating once I got in the car, so I CRIED THE REST OF THE WAY HOME.”

And he's actually awake now, which is like fifteen minutes too early for him to be awake from his nap. And I didn't even get to check Tumblr one last time. But I did send out my email/story section to Spatterdash, so that's a huge achievement for a day like today. :)

So it ends up that I need to have the brake lines in my car, not only replaced, but completely rebuilt. Apparently they rusted or rotted out, or whatever it is that brake lines do, because I live so close to the water. I mean, doesn't everyone in this neighborhood, or I mean, even on this Island kinda live close to the water? But then, there's no saying what the previous owner did with the car either. Maybe s/he let it sit on the beach all day and night. Anyway, so this is going to be pretty costly. And then I have to get the trunk refinished, too, because there was a fault in the original finish, and now it's rusting through.

Everyone's going to get cheap Christmas gifts this year. >_>


Yesterday at work, Lao Shir came in with her big black cat. I brought her cat up front to her and we got to talking. She looks and sounds great, and it's always so heartening for me to see her looking so well. We talked a while about Kung Fu in general and about the tournament (she's still pissed that Chris got robbed the way he did,) and about the cancelled (possibly postponed?) dinner.

After that, an old friend of mine, Dwayne, who was one of my bestest buddies about ten years ago, came in to pay his bill. He didn't believe me that it actually was ten years ago that we used to hand out every wednesday at his and Raven's house. He also said that he must remember me wrong, because he'd have sworn that I was a good four inches taller than he was. This mystified me until he asked if I used to wear heels, and then I remembered that I did frequently wear four inch platforms back then. It was good to see him. I used to be madly in love with him. But, he enver liked me back, not in that way.

Today was Hula and then Kung Fu with Tristan. He was kind of brutal, like he can sometimes be, and I'm sure I won't be able to move my arms tomorrow. But I do love when we have classes like that, because it really gives me a feeling of accomplishment. After that, we had the option of--for an extra ten dollars--staying on another hour and learning some trapping and locking techniques and practising them. They were actually loads of fun.

And right after that was my second-cousin Branden's 8th birthday party at Chrissie's house, and that's where I just was. Damn, I've still got loads to do, like clean the bird cages, take Pendragon out, dye my hair and take a shower.

Le sigh. More to follow in a locked post.