Blather, rinse, repeat

The heat and draught continue unabated. I'm into it. I love jogging in the humidity. It coats my lungs.

Yesterday, with much relief and not a whit of nostalgia, I registered for my last trimester at school. Registration is notoriously hellish, particularly at this school. But yesterday it was mostly painless. It only took me about twenty minutes (as opposed to the usual 2+ hours,) but then I had to search the whole school for someone to schedule me for Clinic2. Eventually I located the administrator in question. I didn't get the clinic day that I wanted, but I figured I had it pretty much okay anyway. All my clients on one day, and in reasonable hours. (Not so early that I'd be hitting the morning rush hour and risk being late.)

Then I got a phone call today telling me that, OOPS, they forgot that the clinic was closed during my scheduled hours. Seriously, people? Yes, seriously. So in the end, I had to reschedule my clinic to the morning. You know, where I'll be fighting the morning rush hour to get there. And since it's ass amount of miles away and you really never know what the traffic is going to be like, it can take me an hour to get there, or it can take me three hours. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE.

Well, it's only for three months, right? That's what I keep telling myself.

So, people, Mel Gibson. How is this utter toolbag still walking around? How does a person get so hateful, so filled with loathing and poison? And then, how do they even function? And how do they manage to hide it long enough to find success? How do these hideously disgusting people fly under the radar for so long? I'll tell you what: I can't wait until Seth McFarlane and Family Guy take their shot at him. 'Cause you know it's coming. :)

The other thing I wanted to ramble about was this band I fell in love with.



This was one of the songs to Dead Fantasy (which I was fangirling over a few entries ago.) I listened to a few more of their songs and decided I was crazy about them. This is a fantastic song, but their other ones are great too. It's my current "Driving To School" soundtrack.

I'm gonna go eat ice cream and play a video game in a sec, but before I go I just wanted to put into the universe that today I thought of a total best-seller story. This is something that I really believe would take off insanely. However I don't think I'm going to write it yet. It's the first thing I've thought of that's really grabbed me by the throat the way that Qualia did. I sat down and mapped out some characters that I immediately liked. I don't want to say what the premise is, but the working title is Blue Fish. I don't know what to do with it yet so it's back-burnered. I know that it would reach a lot of people, where Qualia is really more of a SF audience kind of thing.

Also before I go I want to post this pic of this shoe-shaped bruise on my thigh:

( EWW. )

It's hideous. And yes, those marks you see are from crossed shoelaces. WIN.

Okay, now ice cream and a game.

As much as I try not to, I very much believe in signs. And I sometimes like to play "radio oracle" or even "iPod oracle." You know, you ask a question, and then put the radio on scan or the iPod on shuffle, and whatever song comes on (or with the radio, whatever words you hear,) that's like a clue. I used to play this all the time with my friend in college. Our only rule was that country music didn't count, LOL.

So the other night my iPod ran down and I was listening to the radio in the car, playing Radio Oracle. I thought, "That guy I really like, Chocolate. I texted him on his birthday and did not hear back from him. What's the story? Should I walk away?" And then stopped scanning.

The station stopped on a talk radio show, with a lady saying the following: "Honey, I don't care if he's busy, or shy, or whatever. If you have called him more than once, and he hasn't returned your calls, then walk away. Sounds like you've already been hurt enough; why let someone else hurt you again? You tried, now it's time to move on."

So I thought, "Well, fair enough. But let's give it one more try." So I tried Chocolate's number again tonight. And received a message that his number has been changed or that his phone is out of service.

Yeah, so, walking away. And kind of mad. Don't "darlin" me and lead me on for three months and then disappear and change your number. That sucks. Usually I don't care, but I liked this guy, and you guys all know that I rarely go on dates with people. When I do, it's 'cause I want to.

Please, no angry rants or name-calling in comments. I'm sure he's got a reason and I'm not looking for people to say rude things about him to make me feel better. I like the dude. Just venting. And, no, it's not because he's attractive or has long hair. *insert massive eye-roll*

I'm mostly pissed that this ruined one of my favorite Bonnie Pink songs. Bleh. ;D

Besides, my friends are all so fantastic to me and we're all going on a daytrip next week. I'd love for Chrysanthemum to be there, but as of right now it looks like just me and two dudefriends I highly value and enjoy. We're going to go and have a great time and laugh all day.

Anyway, but enough of that. I have to get up at a ridiculous hour tomorrow for my super-long day and there are two things I've been wanting to post for a few days now. One is Bruce Lee's screen test:


I knew homeboy was lightning fast, but I never actually knew that he was such a scholar. But anyway, check it out at around 1:00 when he starts to talk about the difference between karate and Kung Fu. And at 1:50 he's talking about comparing Kung Fu to water. We talk about that a lot in KF. Makes so much sense! It's worth it to watch the whole thing, because it's awesome, and parts of it are really cute too.

The other thing I've been meaning to post for a while is apropos nothing, uhh, as usual. Lately I've been sort of revisiting my late childhood/early adulthood and the music I loved during it. Specifically when I was between 19 and 20 or so. I mentioned Iron Maiden a few posts back. Well, a few nights ago, someone or something reminded me of how much I loved Megadeth in my teens. I mean like, obsessively adored, as in, listening to their one album over and over pretty much until my ears bled. That one was "So Far, So Good...So What." I fell in love with Dave Mustaine's snarky vocals, his vitriolic rants, his intellectual rage and of course, the fact that no one could shred like he could. The long, red hair didn't hurt, either. (He's still quite burningly hot, in fact.)

Back in high school, Dave Mustaine was one of "My Husbands." (You know, I still joke around like that today, having a harem of husbands.) But my real high school love was a guy named Kris. He was around 6' with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes. We liked the same kind of music. He wore nerd glasses, but had edge; he was hardcore. Anyway, that year my best friend was a gal named Tina. I told her everything. She knew I had it bad for Kris and she said she was going to help me get him. We went away to Florida the week before school started up again. Before we left for vacation (which my family paid for,) she had somehow managed to procure Kris's home address.

Tina spent the vacation writing letters to Kris telling him that I didn't like him, and not only that, but I was hooking up with all different boys in Florida (I was sixteen,) and was of no use to him etc. I, of course, didn't know she was saying those things. When we got home, I didn't hear from her.

(I know this is tangential – please hold for the Megadeth tie-in.)

I didn't actually see her again until the first day of school. I hated school, but I had something to look forward to. Obviously I was going to see Kris! Probably at lunch, when we'd go hang out behind the store and break the glass bottles left by winos in the alley. The girl who sat in front of me, Margie, turned around to say hi and we started chatting. She asked why I was so happy and I told her it was because I would get to hang out with Kris after not having seen him in so long."

"Kris?" she said. "You mean Tina's boyfriend? That guy you used to hang around with?"

I know it's a long time ago and you might be thinking, "Gosh, she can't remember the exact words like that." But 1) I do remember exact words; I remember exact words from over 20 years ago because that's how my brain works and 2) You know that feeling? You never forget it. And I know exactly what I said back to her, which was nothing. That high school heartbreak, you know! It leaves you speechless, LOL! No LJ back then. ;D

Later in the day I ended up walking behind Tina in the hallway and she didn't know I was there. I heard her laugh and say, "Oh my gawd, when Jules finds out she's gonna..."

I grabbed her by the arm and said, "Going to what?"

I literally watched the color drain from her face, and then she ran away like a coward.

In high school, I was generally an unhappy person. I did mean things to people who had hurt me. And because there were many people who had, I had to be crafty sometimes.

So what I did this time was to take all of the notes she had written me over the years, in which she had talked smack about just about everyone. I wasn't the only person she had done this to. She was a bitch to everyone. I took all those notes and I photocopied them. It costs me lots of money because photocopies were ten cents each back then. I took the copies of her notes and I taped them up everywhere. In the bathrooms. On the bleachers. On the lockers of the people she had written about. In the halls, tucked away in library books, (quite stupid, since hardly anyone ever checked them out,) in the cafeteria, in the gym.

And along with the notes, I printed and copied, with her name at the top, the words to Megadeth's song, "Liar." (I clearly remember that I left out the lines about "your sister" and "your brother." Her sister and brother were just kids and had nothing to do with anything.)



It's easy to laugh at this song now because it's so overwrought that it's almost camp. You can hardly tell when Dave Mustaine is being serious and when he's just being a snarky bastard. And sometimes both. The whole song is actually terribly brilliant when you break it down. The way he rolls the "R" of "sewer rat." His over-the-top, hateful speed-wrath rant, while semi-hilarious, is fantastic to this day. I still know every single word! I should; I listened to it often enough back then. But it's at 3:00, the nearly inarticulate rage, that I loved the best.

Ah, Tina. She had to leave the school and go to a different one. The last I heard of her, she had crawled out of a bathroom window after having been cornered by a group of people who were out for blood. It was not a nice high school, my alma mater. Not a mellow, cheerful place at all.

My other favorites on that album were "In My Darkest Hour" and "Mary Jane":



Revisiting these, I'm once again appreciative of their weird beauty.

I wonder what I'll rediscover next? Maybe it'll be David Bowie (actually, I still have a handful of his songs on my iPod) or T Rex (I have every single CD. Every. Last. One. I should upload those.)

Well well well, that's tonight.

Next week is going to be a wonderful week. I can feel it. Everything is going to go right-side up, for sure!

Last night I fell madly in love with this song:



I wonder what time it is now
Wonder if the rain will stop
The sandstorm on TV
is just like a drug video
Tea at dawn
I wonder what time it is now
One Night With Chocolate

I wonder when you’ll wake up
Wonder if you’re dead
Though I want to be alone tomorrow
I’ll get lonely, after all
His hair is chocolate

I wonder when you’ll wake up
One Night With Chocolate

I wonder if it’s still early
Wonder if the tea’s gone cold
Not one of the sun’s
morning kisses will reach him
I’ll take away my security blanket
I wonder if it’s still early
One Night With Chocolate
My love

I love Bonnie Pink, have loved her for years. My favorite has always been "It's Gonna Rain" but "Addiction" is quite brilliant too. This song might eclipse Addiction for me. ("It's Gonna Rain" has lots of memories attached for me; it'll always be my favorite Bonnie Pink song.)

Then today I went to work, came home, did my data entry, put new plants in my fish tank, studied for tomorrow's pathology test, went jogging, practiced my two Hula dances and one Tahitian (still considering doing La Toere at next week's show,) did my push-ups, took a shower, made dinner. Yay, eventful. Not really, but I got done everything I needed to do so far today.

While I was out jogging, I started to get this nagging pain in my side. I thought, "Oh my god, I probably ruptured something. Or I have a tumor. These things can happen so fast." Never mind that I ate a cup or more of watermelon and drank a glass of water immediately before setting out. (Yeah, I know, but I wasn't planning on going jogging because it was raining, and then the rain stopped ( Subete wa ame de hajimarun deshou? or, "And didn't everything start in the rain?") so off I went like a fool. Soon after that stitch cleared up, I got this pain in my shoulder and neck. "Oh jeez, it's a a lung tumor/sarcoidosis/COPD. What should I do? Should I make an appointment? How much school will I miss? Will I have to graduate late?" Then it went away and I forgot about it until I got home and started doing my failsome push-ups again. Kinda hurts right in the pecs actually. You know, like you'd get from doing push-ups.

And, of course, what I had studied right before setting out, for my test tomorrow, was intestinal and respiratory diseases. Like lung and colon tumors etc. You know, my own stupidity amazes me, because sometimes I like to think of myself as quite smart. This is sort of like last year when, after the A&P lesson on heart disease (and a lecture on young women often ignoring symptoms of a heart attack,) I ended up at the emergency clinic because dye from my sweater had turned my fingernails blue. Idiot.

Speaking of, it was this time last year that Neda was murdered in Iran. William Gibson's tweet about green icons reminded me today. My icon has been green all year. Well, let's not get into last summer after all.

Oh, I remember. While I was at work today it got sort of boring – very few people in the store (and everyone basically shut me down before I even got going, I'm telling you, some days, people just do not want to hear from you,) and I was just wandering around listening to the radio and feeling inspired. I decided that for the rest of the day I was going to do more than Act Casual. I was going to envision all sorts of great and wonderful things flowing my way. Thousands of dollars to pay off my school loans just falling into my hands. And an aura of cherry blossoms all around me, a boy with chocolate hair, health, vitality, happiness, success! Yes! And for a while, I really stuck to it.

And then with the pathology notes and the jogging and the idiocy. But really, I will get back to that mindset; I'm really going to try to do that. It's what everyone says, you know, creating your own reality and stuff. I believe that, but it takes being really mindful and I'm not sure I have that discipline yet. Only when I'm doing something intense, like training, or Hula, that sort of thing. Mindfulness, meditation and all of that, it takes practice, just like anything else. Well, I'm going to practice it. Whenever I remember to.

Okay but in the meantime I'm going to play some video games and eat an ice cream.

These are the lyrics to the Leathermouth song, "I'm Going To Kill The President Of The United States Of America":



If this is the front line, there's no hope for the world
If this is the front line, there's no hope for the world
Murdered fascists make no noise or promises

You're living a lie
Straight to hell, straight to hell
If this is the front line, there's no hope for the world
If this is the front line, there's no hope for the world

Devils, we're raised by fucking devils, who've been raised by fucking devils,
wearing our saviors as skins
Devils, we're raised by fucking devils, who've been raised by fucking devils,
wearing our saviors as skins

How can I believe what you say?
Your propaganda bullshit makes me sick
I'd shed your blood to fucking save the world

You're living a lie
Straight to hell, straight to hell
You're living a lie
Straight to hell, straight to hell

Well I'd rather have my eyes sewn shut,
than to see all the shit that we've done
And I'd rather be deaf, dumb and blind,
than to pledge allegiance to a man of your kind
Well I'd rather have my eyes sewn shut,
than to see all the shit that we've done
And I'd rather be deaf, dumb and blind,
than to pledge allegiance to a man of your kind, motherfucker

You put words in my mouth, I'd like to put a bullet in yours

I'll send you to hell,
send you to hell
You're goin' to hell with me, motherfucker
I'll send you to hell,
send you to hell
You're goin' to hell with me, motherfucker
I'll send you to hell,
send you to hell
You're goin' to hell with me, motherfucker
I'll send you to hell,
send you to hell
You're goin' to hell with me, motherfucker

I can't say enough about last night's concert. But those of you who know me, know that I will try anyway. ^_^

First I want to apologize for the quality of the pictures and videos. As for the pictures, my camera is a tiny little CyberShot and it's not really made for this kind of setting. Everything is blurry and too dark, with or without flash. Or possibly I just suck. As far as the videos go, keep in mind that they are taken as I hold the camera above my head while dancing, often in the pit. So the view that you get on the videos is very much what it looks like to be, well, yeah. Dancing around in or at the edge of the pit. Sorry, I know there are much better quality videos out there where you can actually see the band, but I can't seem to stop dancing long enough to get that sort of video. My bad!

Anyway, here's how it went.

( Getting there. Matt Rubano and Eddie Reyes! )

Finally we got inside the venue and I said that we should look around for a good place to chill until the bands came on. I didn't want to be standing up the whole night. We went into the bathroom which was right beside the stage, and right outside of it were these boxes next to the stage, nearly to the side of it. So we sat there for a while and listened to whatever the DJ put on. At one point he played "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood and we all got a laugh out of that. Oh, while sitting there I saw a girl up against the barrier in front of the stage and she was wearing a SKELETON CREW t shirt! I got her attention and told her that her shirt was rad, and that it was so cool to support Skeleton Crew.

( Inside the club: Matt, Eddie, and Mark. Also Fake Jepha. )

( Envy On The Coast )

At one point, the singer of Envy On The Coast went into the crowd, sort of like Jared Leto does, letting them hold him up. It was really cool.

I have to admit though, that the highest point of their set was when Adam Lazzara came out on stage and sang with them for a few minutes. HELLO, SURPRISE! I videotaped some of that. ( Here is the crappy quality video: )

Wow, that was really awesome!

( Before TBS's set, and as usual, THE BROS. )

Right before TBS went on stage, they changed the music to Tom Jones and Frank Sinatra, which gave my Mom a giggle. She was singing along to The Kill and Helena, and then she was singing along to those songs, too. ^_^

Then, finally, it was time for TBS to come on and do their first show with The New Guy. I was excited and nervous (and getting squished, and trying to prevent my Mom and Meg from getting squished, which was only going to get worse once the rush to the stage began.)

The first one I saw on stage was Eddie Reyes, and he just looked so ready, and so psyched to be there. I started taping it because I knew we were going to hear the name of the new guitarist as soon as possible and I didn't want to miss that moment! And surely enough, before they even began to play their first song, Adam gave it up: Matthew Fazzi. Here is the introduction and the beginning of the first song: ( It's under the cut )

It was cute, when Adam first introduced him he did this little happy dance and the Hawaiian shaka sign. Hang Loose! I recognized it and I was like, "WTF, why is homeboy doing a shaka?" It was cute though. Honestly, he did look a little hesitant. Not nervous so much as a little unsure maybe? Which kind of endeared him to me actually. If he'd gone up there all cocky and "I AM THE NEW FRED" I would have been a little put off. But the dude just looked like he wanted to have a good time, and then he actually did seem to have a good time.

Their first song was You Know How I Do, which surprised me because when I saw them at PR they opened with "What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost?" but I wasn't complaining. I love the crap out of that song. All of their songs, really. Anyway, so I was trying to dance, and I could see that so was Meg, and my Mom was happily singing along, but at the same time people kept shoving us and I wondered how long we were going to last right on the very edge of the pit, and right next to the men's room, no less.

Before I get into the details of the show, let me tell you the set list before I forget it. I'm sure I've left a song out, I just can't place which one it is. And this is not in any kind of order. I wish I could remember the order they played things, but I don't. Anyway, these are the songs:

You Know How I Do, You're So Last Summer, One Eighty By Summer, Error: Operator, Set Phasers To Stun, Miami, Spin, Up Against, Cute Without The E, Bonus Mosh, What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost, Liar, MakeDamnSure, and of course they also played a new song in the middle of the set!

Right, so here are some details of the show overall. First let me tell everyone who doesn't know anything about Taking Back Sunday: they are an awesome live band. Not only because of the music but because of their general vibe, the energy, how they treat the audience etc. Adam is very chatty. He doesn't do the whole "LET'S HEAR IT YOU MOTHER EFFERS! EFF YOU ALLLLL!!!" kind of thing. As Meg put it, "He's actually kinda, I dunno. Gentle." And he kind of is in a way. He talks to the audience as if he's talking one on one with very little separation between us and him. He likes to tell stories, and it's delightful the way he interrupts himself, gets tangential, and has to start over. He often says, "I'm talking because I'm out of breath!" And why wouldn't he be, because the live performance is anything but gentle! He's known for his crazy mic-swinging tricks. This guy could never go cordless. He throws the mic as high as the ceiling will allow, falls to the floor, catches the mic, twirls the cord three times around his neck and then goes back to singing without missing a lyric. It's kind of incredible. He spins the cord all around himself, around the rafters, he throws it out like a fishing line then snaps it back in, and he doesn't miss a note. Once he hit Matt in the head with it during a show, causing him to require a bunch of stitches. But Matt went right back on stage and kept playing with a concussion. I'm glad I wasn't there for that show, you know? But either way it's incredible to watch!

He also does this thing where he gets down really low to the first row and sings to different people. He is not only engaging, but incredibly compelling as he seems to mean every word he sings. He looks like a madman up there sometimes, gesturing randomly with his hands and making exaggerated motions with his eyes. He's just so freaking much fun to watch.

A few things that Adam shared with us: "Miami" is his favorite song. I thought that was so ironic because if I had to pick a least favorite by them, I would pick Miami! (My favorites are two that they did not play last night: My Blue Heaven [that song is like, god transposed to music,] and The Ballad of Sal Villanueva, which is a B side that I've never heard them play.) He goes on a lot about how he thinks he's out of shape and "fat" and OMG STFU ADAM. The dude is nowhere near fat and to be honest, I like him so much better this way than I did when he was a rack of bones. Personal opinion there. He talked about Youtube and watching his favorite bands on there, but he said that he preferred it if we didn't tape the song they were about to do (it was right before "Bonus Mosh") because he didn't want anyone to experience it through a camera; he wanted everyone living it in the moment. And you know what, he is exactly right. I have this obsession with remembering everything and taping things and taking photographs, but I remarked last year after the 30STM concert that I went to, that watching something through a viewfinder takes you out of the moment. Adam talked about his shirt, about the shirt of someone in the front row, and he talked for a while about Long Island.

I pee my pants with joy everytime they talk about Long Island. He also mentioned "Everything is bigger in Texas," and my Mom and I had to laugh because that's sort of this inside joke on this one Mystery Blog that I go to. (S'up BlogBelieve?)

While introducing "One Eighty By Summer" he said that it was about a bet he and the rest of the band had with Eddie Reyes that he would weigh 180 by summer. O_o

While on the subject of that song, I should mention that it had one of my favorite Fred moments, and I decided to tape that one part to see if The New Guy was going to do it. (I have/had/have two Best Fred Moments, and one of them is in that song and the other is in Bonus Mosh. In that one, while Adam is Singing, Fred just lets loose with this incredible scream. No words, just a sound. It just blew my mind.) Anyway, in 180, there is this part where Adam is singing the verse (it's an amazing build up to a huge, climactic part of the song,) and in the background Fred would sing the line, "I need you defenseless, dependent, and alone," and on the last "alone" his voice would just soar.

The New Guy did that part, and I was so glad. I didn't go in there expecting Fred, and he didn't come out pretending to be him, and he sounded good. Here is my favorite part of that song: (  It's under the cut: )

Adam took a question about The New Guy from the audience, and someone asked how old he was. Adam at first joked that he was 37 and then revealed that he is actually only nineteen! Also that he is part Italian and part Hawaiian, and that's when I had the "AHA" moment. ^_^ He also said he was from North Carolina (I think it was North--I'm fairly sure that's where Adam is also from originally) (Hold the press, another fan says it could be north California; I might have misheard. ^_^) and he used to play in a band called "Facing New York." I could have the band name wrong, too though. I'd also like to add that while I do think Matthew (The New Guy) plays guitar wonderfully, I felt that his mic was very low and sometimes I couldn't hear him song. I would have liked to hear more, but I guess we'll hear plenty on the new album. At least I hope we do, because one thing I really love about this band is the dueling vocals. I absolutely adore the way the two vocal lines cross, separate, then rise to meet each other for these tremendous, epic choruses. TBS is known for this and it wouldn't be the same if they didn't do that anymore. So I hope that they continue with that.

One of the funniest parts was with the sombrero. yesterday was, of course, Cinco de Mayo so someone had brought a sombrero that they wanted Adam to wear. I managed to get this little exchange on tape; it was very funny and brought the LOLz: ( Under the cut )

Also, Matt is doing some singing now. Adam made a point of teasing him about the height of his mic stand and they took a few minutes to joke about it; Matt saying that he might be short, but he makes up for it with a huge Napoleon complex. Which is too funny because there's no way that's true. It was just very cute. So anyway, we got to hear Matt singing and he was good, too; I enjoyed hearing him very much.

One other funny / annoying thing was how the audience messed up my favorite part to one of the best songs, Error Operator. There is this really intense part where the words go, "Murder, oh murder, oh where have you been?" and the way Adam sings it, it's very hard to describe unless you've heard it. It's through one of those neat voice-phaser thingies though, and I understand that it's a little bit muddled and unclear (I suspect that's the point,) but for goodness sakes, those are the most compelling lyrics in the song! And everyone tried to sing along and instead of the right lyrics everyone was singing, "Where are you, where are you, where have you been?!" I was like, "OMG, FAIL! STOP RUINING IT!"

Of course, as I had expected, they played a new song! I liked it right away from what I could manage to hear last night, and I can't wait to hear it, and hear more new stuff, down the road. I taped it and am putting it here in my LJ. I imagine they're going to be playing it live on Friday so lots of people will hear it then, too. It's very cool, people. ( It's here under the cut. )

I should also mention that somewhere during "Miami" and right before "Spin," our little spot between the pit and the bathroom got really unruly, to the point where Meg couldn't enjoy the music. Even the security guys were shoving to get by. She was getting squished and she couldn't enjoy the music with someone pushing her every few minutes, so we bailed to the back of the club. She found a clear view behind the sound board thingamajig and watched the rest from there. But then they played SPIN which is absolutely one of my favorite songs by them pretty much ever. I told Mom and Meg that I was going to just go back up there for that one song. I went into the pit where it was okay to just throw yourself around and scream, which is precisely what I did.

Then I made my way back to the back of the club and watched the rest from there, where it was not really okay to dance around like a fool and sing out loud, because that's where everyone is all chill, kind of nodding their heads along to the music and mouthing the words, but I did it anyway.

The last few songs were Liar, A Decade Under The Influence (Adam changed the lyrics and added his own during this song: "You must not know about me...." instead of "coming over but it never was enough...."), What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost, and then Adam said that they weren't going to do an encore ("It's 2008!" he said, "We need to think of something else!") and they were true to his word. They did MakeDamnSure to close it out. Once again, me, trying to tape it--because I love when an entire crowd sings along with a song--all while trying to dance, mosh, and sing along at the same time. So as with most of my videos, you get the viewpoint of me actually at the concert (and you can hear me singing along--sorry!) but for once the sound on my camera wasn't so bad, and you can hear how well they played the song. ( Here, under the cut. )

None of my pics came out AT ALL, but some of the ones my Mom took did. The trick, I guess, was to not have it on zoom, which makes it look much farther than it actually was, but a lot clearer. These pictures don't represent how close we were when we were by the edge of the pit for that while, because we were really pretty close! But at least you can see that it's a concert, and not some impressionist painting.

( Pics under the cut: )

We caught up with Scooter again before we left. She had been in the pit the whole time, good for her! Go Scooter! Then we went outside into the chilly night air and waited a while till the parking lot cleared out a bit before leaving. (Plus we were parked around by the bus, and, you never know!) The people in the parking lot were crazy as they were trying to get out, it was madness.

And, yeah, that was it! We drove Meg home and got her home by around 1 AM. All the way back we listened to 3 Cheers nd The Black Parade by MyChem. I really do miss that band something fierce and it was nostalgic listening to them.

Meg and my Mom both had a great time and of course, so did I. I almost want to say that I can't believe how lucky we were to be the first to see Matthew Fazzi and to hear
the new song, and in such a teeny venue as well, but it has less to do with luck and more to do with the generousity of the band involved. It was one of the best shows I've seen--even if the club itself didn't offer much in the way of good viewing--and I am so, so glad that we got to go. The guys in the band that we met were way nicer than they had to be and as always, they put on one hell of a concert. I totally cannot wait for them to go back out on tour. ^_^

Wrote this part last night:


Wednesday already. That's two more days till Friday. >_<

Sifu is out for a while, and on Monday in Kung Fu Sije Raq led the class. We've got some new folks in the basics class and it's been pretty full. We just did lots of drills, all punching and blocking. Afterwards in Blackbelt it was just Lee, Tracy and I, and Raq had us do Small Wheel alone, one at a time, while she corrected little details. I just about died, dude. I hate when people watch me do forms. It makes me get all shaky. However by the end it was actually really helpful and I didn't clam up or screw up as much as I feared I would. Then we did some staff review. I disappointed myself by forgetting all the really simple stuff and amazed myself by remembering the complicated parts. O_O

Yesterday at work was all right except for some minor mishaps; and none of it, or mostly none anyway, was the fault of the animals involved. First I was holding a cat's mouth open for intubation. It was sedated but not entirely under yet. Its jaw just slipped out of my hand and its dirty, nasty little cat tooth sank right into my thumb. (Last night it seemed to be getting infected but today it's fine. Note to future cat-bitten self: Do not ever rush to antibiotics. Usually these things go away on their own.) Later, Jane scratched herself with the same sedated cat's claws. Funniest and perhaps worst of all was towards the end of the day when I was holding this nasty, biting little dog. Everyone had warned me it was a little biting bastard, but I never believe that of dogs because I usually don't have any problems with nasty little biting bastards, and I hadn't had a problem with this one. He'd let me cut his nails and everything without fussing. Well, I was putting him on the little scale and Dan was standing close by not not really too close. I just turned the little dog around on the scale and Dan went, "OW! He bit me!" It being April first I totally thought he was kidding. I was like, "Stop, he did not." But he actually had and the way it played out visually, I wish I could describe it. It was like I had bitten him with the dog. Dan later illustrated how it happened with great gestures, as if I'd been carrying around a little biting machine and aimed it at him. I felt bad but goddamn it was so funny. Poor Dan is having a bad run. He's been bitten by a brown recluse spider too, no joke. His finger swelled up like mad and he's got a huge hole in it.

Well anyway, tonight at KF we did line basics while holding those heavy rocks etc, and that was pretty cool. In blackbelt we did Small Wheel again (much needed) and then staff (also much needed.) i brought my own staff, and here's a weird and random thing: my staff has flecks of blood on it. O_o I have no idea where it came from, I haven't touched it since last summer and I certainly haven't done anything with it that would cause it to have blood on it, like for instance bashing people with it. It was kind f amusing though.

This is from tonight:

I'm ridiculously tired because I had a crazy nightmare last night and even though I was able to wake myself up from it at around 5:30 AM, I wasn't able to really get back to sleep after that.

It started where I took a part time job in a mental institution. (This is weird because when my cousins and I were kids we used to pretend that we worked in a mental hospital. The game was called, well, "Mental Hospital.") Anyway I was working there with a training brother of mine who doesn't train anymore (and who has been having some bad problems with the health of a close family member.) He was working as security and was sitting at a desk. All of a sudden the power went out and all the doors holding the criminally insane people opened, and the people started pouring out of their cells. They pretty much dogpiled my friend. THe other workers weren't doing anything to help so as I was trying to pull the violent, crazy people off of my friend, I was screaming at the other workers that they were incompetent. One of them turned to me and said, "You're such a bitch, why don't you just do your job and not worry about what everyone else is doing or is not doing?" I kept trying to get to the bottom of the pile of crazy people but they turned into clothes, and my friend was not at the bottom of the pile.

The lights went off next and I had a flashlight. By the flashlight I could see that one really huge guy that I knew to be a rapist was walking down the hall towards me. I was trying to close a gate between us but it wouldn't close. I ran up the stairs and my Dad was there. I told him that there was a man chasing me and my Dad came down to help. The crazy guy was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and he went up to my Dad like he was going to start a fight with him. I had the brilliant idea that maybe I could reason my way out of this so I asked the crazy rapist guy if he wouldn't rather go outside and play ball for a while. He thought this was a good idea and he went outside. My Dad went back up the stairs.

I decided it was time to get the lights back on and I told one of the other workers, "You know at my other job, we know how to do things like, Oh I don't know, fix the circuit breaker!" And she said to me, "You're such a bitch, if your other job is so good, why are you still working here?" I had no answer for that.

I got the lights back on (no one else seemed bothered by the fact that the whole place was a huge mess,) and I saw that the inmates were now all circus animals locked up in flimsy cages. They were piled in and stacked on top of each other and most of them were big cats, like leopards and tigers, and one lion. They looked hungry. I thought to myself that if I could feed them, they wouldn't eat me, and I was trying to get to th fridge to get them some canned dog food (even though they were big cats.) The lion kept watching me and I noticed that his cage looked like it would break any second. I thought, "I'll never get by there without it jumping out and devouring me." It was like there was a time limit and I would not be able to feed them quickly enough. I also knew that they were waiting for me to get close enough so they could eat me, but that if I took much longer, they would stop waiting and just attack anyway. So right before they attacked, I got out of the room and shut the door. The door had a window where I could still see them, and it scared me because I knew that the lion would figure out how to open the door.

Just then a tiny little chihuahua with a broken back leg went hobbling into the room with the big cats and I was behind the door trying to yell to it to get out, but it couldn't hear me. Then the lion ripped open the bottom of its cage and lunged at the little dog. It roared at the little dog and the little dog started crying and shaking. Then the lion jumped on it and I hid my eyes, but I could still hear the little dog screaming as the lion ate it.

That's when I told myself, "Okay, this dream is way too scary and it's time to wake up."

And of course after that I couldn't get back to sleep.

Luckily work today was pretty slow. I worked with little Kelly in the afternoon and then she had to cover for one of the receptionists and a good friend of mine who also has a close family member with a very bad health problem. Scooter came in and she lent me her iPod to browse while she went outside, and I fed the animals. I listened to bands I'd heard of but hadn't listened to, like Sugarcube and Paramore. Sugarcube was pretty cool.

Speaking of music I'm kind of obsessed with the band Muse since a friend of mine on BlogBelieve showed me one of their songs, "Blackout." Then another friend of mine on BlogBelieve showed us all Muse's song "Invincible." I downloaded "Stockholm Syndrome" and fell so amazingly hard for that song on the second listen that it became one of those ones I play, and then play again, and then once again. That went on for about a week, during which I bought two of their CDs. My current song obsession is "Supermassive Black Hole." That song throws you against the wall and makes out with you.

Well, and tomorrow is Friday. We don't even have to get into that again, now do we? No, we don't. >_<

Damnit, my Amazon shipment did not get here today! WTF, what am I supposed to listen to in the car tomorrow morning? It's not that I'm getting tired of the 3 songs I downloaded, (what? Quit giving me that look; I did buy the CD, you know,) but that I haven't listened to much else lately. And I want to know what else is on there. Hooo, when I find music I like, don't I ever get obsessed. And I still think that The Kill is maybe the best video ever. I watched it again and tried to follow the seperate storylines instead of just watching pretty looking men wear eyeliner and get angsty. You know, there's a pretty neat little story going on in there. And Shannon Leto does make out with himself, after a fashion. You just don't get to see it (I think that the girl he macks in the bathroom is his other self.) He is burningly hot, though.

So, enough fangirling for now. Tonight I'm going to see X3 with Kim. I've been looking forward to seeing this movie for a while, so that's exciting. But the best part of it is, I love these spring / summer nights going to the movies with good friends, especially Kim. We somehow end up at the movies at least once a summer. It's just a kind of "warm weather" thing to do. I've loved going to the movies in the summer since I was a little kid; there's something more magical about it than when you go in the winter. You come out of the theater and it's still kind of warm and balmy outside. When I was a kid, we'd come home from the movies and go right into the pool.

Of course, it's not summer yet and the pool is still closed, and in fact it's probably going to be all rainy and stormy tonight, but still, yeah. It's the zenith of Spring, and today it hit about 83. It's been threatening to storm for about a week and has just not broken yet, but supposedly it will tonight.

Little things, hmm... Today I took Trisky to work with me for a bath and a tune-up. Casse and I ate Ben & Jerry's ice cream for lunch. I still only have the two fledgling birds, Mark and Mahana. I have work and sparring tomorrow, so a very long day ahead. Erica was all over my form last night because, like Tristan tells me sometimes, it's too "pretty" and not strong enough. Stop dancing it, she says, it's not supposed to be beautiful, it's supposed to be an attack. She says she had the same problem, because she comes from a dance background, too. I have to lower all of my stances and make the arm movements sharper.

The clouds continue to roll in.

So fandom Wank is good for more than the occasional giggle, it seems. For instance, about a year and a half ago, someone there had an icon of Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Steerpike, which led to my whole big Steerpike / JRM obsession that lasted for months. And today, because of a post on F_W, I'm about to do something I haven't done in years: buy a CD by a modern, American band. I mean seriously, I think the last time I did that it was Nine Inch Nails or something.

Oh, the band is 30 Seconds To Mars. The wank in question was the craziness that followed frontman Jared Leto's (apparent) joke that he was gay. The link was to their video. It's not that I was necessarily even interested--Jared Leto never did it for me, though I used to watch "My So Called Life" once in a while--I was just bored and doing that thing I've done since childhood: fighting sleep. And what better way to not go to bed than to stay up watching a video I didn't even really care about?

But the video for the song "The Kill" was cute and funny, a takeoff on The Shining, and I liked it right away. Jared Leto, though he is not the cute teen idol boy he used to be (I can't get over how different he looks! Not ugly at all, but, as someone on F_W put it, "reasonably attractive.") But holy crap, he can sing. It's just a matter of opinion, of course, but he's got an awesomely powerful voice. And while he is not Kurt Cobain or Layne Staley (there will never be another of either,) he's got his own style and his scream is fantastic. I thoroughly fell in love with the song. Which is weird for me. Oh, and I enjoy his angsty lyrics. "What if I fell to the floor?!" Hey, be my guest! His insistent, "You're killing me, killing me!" turns me all kinds of on. I love it when people sound like they mean it, whatever "it" may be.

Joy! I love when I find music that I can really get into!

Yes folks, it's that time of year again. The Song Title In My Pants meme. I did one last year around this time. All new songs in my pants!

It goes like this: open your music player, shuffle, then take the first 20 song titles and add the phrase "in my pants" to them. Does the fun ever end?

Give It Away in my pants. (To whom?)

Replacement Killers in my pants (It's a little crowded in there.)

Respect in my pants. (Damn right!)

I'm A Doun For Lack O Johnnie in my pants. (Jonathan Rhys Meyers, no doubt.)

Mirage in my pants. (Is it there? Or is it not?)

The Law in my pants (It was getting kind of hectic. Someone had to break it up!)

Feel Alright in my pants (Be my guest!)

Mellow Mood in my pants (It's great when things are nice and calm.)

Enigma in my pants (Come on, it's not that hard to figure out.)

Devil's Trill in my pants (I was at the crossroads, and, I don't know, it's all a blur.)

Shoop in my pants (There's so many places I could go with that.)

Dragonfly in my pants (Hey! That tickles!)

Stir It Up in my pants (Someone? Please?)

Avalanche in my pants (I just couldn't hold it in.)

Night Comes On in my pants (Total eclipse of the crotch!)

Solace in my pants (There there, now, everything will be all right.)

Hallelujah in my pants (Not recently.)

He in my pants (Who?)

Tahiti, Tahiti in my pants (The whole island.)

Coin Operated Boy in my pants (Well, I guess my secret is out.)



Anyway, so Kung Fu tonight was another hardcore workout, and I loved it. There was a new guy in the first class. Then, after blackbelt club, purple-belt Chris became brown-belt Chris. Quite an honor. He was all chill and mellow; I was the one getting emotional. Well, but Kung Fu does tend to make me emotional.

The whole rest of the week is going to be social for me, as I'll be seeing friends and family and loved ones nearly every night. Tomorrow, Kim is coming over. Friday ... well, Friday I'm at work all day, but it's with Casse and the Nancies and that's pretty cool. Then Saturday is the Kung Fu party at Lao Shir's house, and Sunday Uncle Don, Betsy and the kids are coming over, and Jeremy, too. Just like old times. ^_^

Jeremy came over last night for dinner, and ended up staying until around 1:30. We were at my parents' and we basically all just talked the entire night about everything. Everything including politics, religion (or the lack thereof,) why creationism shouldn't be taught in secular schools, quantum physics and reality, aliens, time travel, orgies, music, children, the war, the economy, jobs... the list goes on. Needless to say, it was a long conversation. I congratulate my parents for laughing along with Jeremy as he told his self-deprecating tales of debauchery instead of judging him.

Only once, when I left for a moment to check on Pendragon and the birds, did Jeremy apparently bring up the letter he'd written my a few years ago, and he asked my parents how I felt about that. Now, I've been nothing but perfeclty clear on that subject from the time he first sent the letter until now, but I guess Jeremy's Mom told him that I had told her something different. She told him that I felt a certain way about Jeremy. I have always liked Jeremy's mom and respected her, but I thought that was a meddlesome thing to do, especially as it has a chance of hurting Jeremy by leading him on. I never said such a thing. I said I'd always love him. Love does not equal "in love and wanting to get married."

Aside from that, which I didn't know about until today when I went to ask my Dad to put together my awesome new telescope, did I even hear about it.

I'm always a little depressed when both Halloween and Christmas are over, because I don't have anything cool to look forward to for a while and I know that work is going to suck for the next few weeks and I will have to work extra. I guess right now I can look forward to going back to Kung Fu next week. And then towards the end of February, there's the trip to Florida. Jeremy is maybe possibly thinking about giving consideration to the idea of coming along with us. That'd be so cool; he hasn't been to Disneyworld since the last time we went together, which was in May of '00.

Today I cleaned the house a bit, cleaned all the birds while listening to Leonard Cohen's Dear Heather. My favorite song on that one is the track, "Because Of". It's short, so I can write the lyrics out here:

Because of a few songs
Wherein I spoke of their mystery
Women have been exceptionally kind to my old age
They make a secret place in their busy lives
And they take me there
They become naked in their different ways
And they say,
'Look at me, Leonard
Look at me one last time.'
Then they bend over the bed
And cover me up
Like a baby that is shivering.

You know, there's a kind of smirk to that song, but it's not a mean or self-indulgent one. It doesn't feel like he's patting himself on the back over it. Rather it's kind of humble and sort of funny too; he's almost smirking at himself. But the thing that struck me the most about it (aside from the fact that his voice is sex on that track, intentionally or not,) is how completely true it is. The first time I heard him sing it, my only thought, kind of breathless, was, "My god, how does he know?" But then, he's a poet; I guess it's his job to know.

Then the next thought was another question: Why is it 'one last time'? Is that because the women are so busy, sometimes feeling used up and like no one looks at them anymore, really looks, the way a poet can? Or because he thinks he's getting too old and won't be looking much longer? (I could go all English Major and discuss the metaphorical meaning of "look", too, but I'm sure no one thinks that Leonard Cohen is peeking through windows all over the world.)

Either way, it inspired my icon. Well, obviously.

On the subject of the relations of men and women, here's another thing I noticed being on the stupid personals sites for a while: a lot of men are looking for a girl who is "sweet and caring." I guess that's to be expected, and maybe I'm overthinking it, and maybe the men who write that mean exactly what they're saying because maybe they've met women who were cruel. I consider myself sweet to the people who are sweet to me. I like to be kind to them and make them laugh, and I hope that I please the people I like. I consider myself caring because, well, I care about a lot of people. Maybe it manifests itself in the form of neurotic worry, but hey, I do care. But part of me wonders if "sweet" means "giggly" and "caring" means "doormat." I'm probably wrong. I hope I am.

I wish the skies would clear so that I could play with my new toy.