One Night With Chocolate

[la_belle_laide]

Last night I fell madly in love with this song:

I wonder what time it is now
Wonder if the rain will stop
The sandstorm on TV
is just like a drug video
Tea at dawn
I wonder what time it is now
One Night With Chocolate

I wonder when you’ll wake up
Wonder if you’re dead
Though I want to be alone tomorrow
I’ll get lonely, after all
His hair is chocolate

I wonder when you’ll wake up
One Night With Chocolate

I wonder if it’s still early
Wonder if the tea’s gone cold
Not one of the sun’s
morning kisses will reach him
I’ll take away my security blanket
I wonder if it’s still early
One Night With Chocolate
My love

I love Bonnie Pink, have loved her for years. My favorite has always been "It's Gonna Rain" but "Addiction" is quite brilliant too. This song might eclipse Addiction for me. ("It's Gonna Rain" has lots of memories attached for me; it'll always be my favorite Bonnie Pink song.)

Then today I went to work, came home, did my data entry, put new plants in my fish tank, studied for tomorrow's pathology test, went jogging, practiced my two Hula dances and one Tahitian (still considering doing La Toere at next week's show,) did my push-ups, took a shower, made dinner. Yay, eventful. Not really, but I got done everything I needed to do so far today.

While I was out jogging, I started to get this nagging pain in my side. I thought, "Oh my god, I probably ruptured something. Or I have a tumor. These things can happen so fast." Never mind that I ate a cup or more of watermelon and drank a glass of water immediately before setting out. (Yeah, I know, but I wasn't planning on going jogging because it was raining, and then the rain stopped ( Subete wa ame de hajimarun deshou? or, "And didn't everything start in the rain?") so off I went like a fool. Soon after that stitch cleared up, I got this pain in my shoulder and neck. "Oh jeez, it's a a lung tumor/sarcoidosis/COPD. What should I do? Should I make an appointment? How much school will I miss? Will I have to graduate late?" Then it went away and I forgot about it until I got home and started doing my failsome push-ups again. Kinda hurts right in the pecs actually. You know, like you'd get from doing push-ups.

And, of course, what I had studied right before setting out, for my test tomorrow, was intestinal and respiratory diseases. Like lung and colon tumors etc. You know, my own stupidity amazes me, because sometimes I like to think of myself as quite smart. This is sort of like last year when, after the A&P lesson on heart disease (and a lecture on young women often ignoring symptoms of a heart attack,) I ended up at the emergency clinic because dye from my sweater had turned my fingernails blue. Idiot.

Speaking of, it was this time last year that Neda was murdered in Iran. William Gibson's tweet about green icons reminded me today. My icon has been green all year. Well, let's not get into last summer after all.

Oh, I remember. While I was at work today it got sort of boring – very few people in the store (and everyone basically shut me down before I even got going, I'm telling you, some days, people just do not want to hear from you,) and I was just wandering around listening to the radio and feeling inspired. I decided that for the rest of the day I was going to do more than Act Casual. I was going to envision all sorts of great and wonderful things flowing my way. Thousands of dollars to pay off my school loans just falling into my hands. And an aura of cherry blossoms all around me, a boy with chocolate hair, health, vitality, happiness, success! Yes! And for a while, I really stuck to it.

And then with the pathology notes and the jogging and the idiocy. But really, I will get back to that mindset; I'm really going to try to do that. It's what everyone says, you know, creating your own reality and stuff. I believe that, but it takes being really mindful and I'm not sure I have that discipline yet. Only when I'm doing something intense, like training, or Hula, that sort of thing. Mindfulness, meditation and all of that, it takes practice, just like anything else. Well, I'm going to practice it. Whenever I remember to.

Okay but in the meantime I'm going to play some video games and eat an ice cream.