Blather, rinse, repeat

Hurray, I'm so happy! This is definitely LJ worthy. First, Joe put my very flawed little film on the front page of HitRECord tonight. Woo! And then, he also Tumbled me. Err. Umm. Tumblred me? ^_^;; *cough*

Anyway. Here's my little creation about Chinese myth and quantum. :)

Last year, on January first, I wrote: "A still more glorious dawn awaits, not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise: A morning filled with four hundred billion suns. The rising of the Milky way.

And, next? Well, to complete what I began, all of it. Novel, black belt, the queries, publication, Japan, school, and a small person, eventually. But more immediately I really want a couple of tattoos. Not because it's the end of a decade or anything, just because I want them. Besides, I have never really thought much of New Years. Chinese New Year, that's what I'm into, and so also in the closer future is that trip to Chinatown next month. Oh, the tattoos? I want:
Heisenberg's uncertainty equation, A Feynman diagram, a simple broadsword with lehua flowers around it, and a dog paw print, an iguana foot print, and a bird footprint. All small, and all on the wrists, I think.

Two of those, I did. I got something published. A Tiny Story of course, but getting chosen = getting chosen, and by the way? The story was called The Uncertainty Principle.

The reason that meant so much to me was, well for one thing, it is nice to be chosen out of thousands, no matter how small. Sometimes tiny things are harder to accomplish and more meaningful; think of haiku. And also, the part I never really mentioned? Was that when Joe did the video asking for drawings to accompany the Tiny Story, he said, "...a story by the writer, Jules KD." I've always self identified as "the writer," but I've never really heard it said of me before. My balls grew three sizes that day. "The writer, Jules KD." Heh. ^_^

I also mentioned in the past (in entries I don't want to search for or read right now,) that my Dad's sort of motto was always, "You never know." The way he lived was to just do whatever, to do things, and to enjoy yourself as much as you could, because you never know what comes next. And he would tell these horror stories about young people getting suddenly squashed by falling cement, or run over by trucks, etc. to demonstrate that, Hey, you never know. He meant it in a cheerful way, after all.

To me, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle was always the universe's way of saying the exact same thing. You can know the location of something. You can know its momentum. But you can never know both at the same time, and that has nothing to do with our proficiency (or lack thereof) of measuring devices. Nature just plays it close to the vest. You literally never know. in the world of electrons, if you know how fast something is moving, there's no way to find out if it's right on top of you, or if it's on the other side of the galaxy. If you know where it is, you have no way of knowing hos fast it's going to get from there to here. And if you want to get macro about it, you can't ever tell how fast something is coming at you until it's there.

And time is slippery anyway.

So the point of this is to say that I got two things done that I said I would, and the second one is just under the wire of the new year:




The guy who did it was super nice. The whole thing took about five minutes, another dude there recorded it for me, and it hardly hurt at all. It felt sort of like when my dogs accidentally scratch me. People had told me that the wrist is a harsh place for a first tattoo but I was like, "If it doesn't hurt worse than broken ribs or a knee aspiration, I think I'll live." And after the first few seconds, you kind of stop feeling it anyway.

This was actually kind of random today, too. I woke up with a case of the whim-whams, decided to go out paradin', (thanks, Hard Day's Night,) and just ended up at Top Hat Tattoo as it was opening. I had the formula printed out but I thought maybe I'd just look at his work and make an appointment. Then he said, "Wow, you never see girls coming in for tattoos alone," and I said, "Well I'm here, so let's go." ^_^ These are the kinds of whim-whams I get. At least I don't wake up married, or in subways or anything. ^_^

Then I went to buy FFXIII for my new PS3 that my crazy Mom got me for the holiday. And I realize I haven't done my yuletide entry yet with its vids and pics, and I will, I will get right on that (I know you're all riveted,) and hopefully I will post it today. There were two yuletide days, and both were surprisingly merry. I didn't think I could be happy this holiday, but I kinda was anyway.

But before then I wanted to share exactly why Tiny Stories meant so much to me, why what Wirrow and Joe did meant so much to me, and of course to show off my new thingie-thing and explain why it was so necessary. :D

This morning I took my clinic entrance exam, which I'd stressed about for months. I got out of bed at like ass o'clock AM and got there at 8:30 to sign in, as instructed. However, none of the proctors showed up until 9, and we didn't begin the test till 9:15 or so. I was done at 9:45 and home by 10.

The test itself was pomegranate pie, seriously. There were some questions where I was 50/50 (maybe ten out of the 100) but most of them were first-year stuff, some were common sense, and some were just stupid. ("You can massage over a broken bone, T/F?" Umm, let me think about that one for a second.) All of my stress and worry was for nothing, but I was glad that I had reviewed some of the early stuff, like neuro and myo1 etc.

What else is today? It's the day that the editors at the OWW put up their editors' choices and critique them. I'm waiting with everything clenched, seriously. I'm more freaked about this than I ever was about clinic entrance. I've heard from other writers that the editors only choose ones that they like, but what if mine is the exception? What if there's something so wrong with it that they had to point it out as an example? I know; that's crazy talk, because they've never done that sort of thing. I've read all the other editors' choice reviews and critiques, and most of them are like, "Yeah, I chose this because I like it, and here's what can be improved to raise the chances of nabbing an agent / book deal" kind of thing. Which, wow, is so totally what I want more than I want a grilled cheese sandwich right now. I love a meaty critique. They rock my world and inspire me to get better. Yet still I'm sitting here refreshing the page while my palms sweat.

And what else is today? Why, it's the Spring equinox. And it couldn't be more gorgeous out there. It's seriously almost seventy degrees with a salty, breezy tradewind between the north and south shores. I did a little grocery shopping today, then took the dogs out for about a half an hour just before and played with them and brushed them down. Later on I'm going to go for a jog, and then have a soak in the tub since I am off work tomorrow. And if you're wondering how those two connect, having a soak and being off work, it's because I like to put some herbalicious oils in my hair to condition it, and leave it till the next day. So, I only do that when I don't have to be anywhere.

Oh, hilariously, the Jesus people came to my house today as I was coming home from shopping. They were heading to the front door and I pointed out the already-obvious "BEWARE OF DOG" sign and asked them to please not open the front door. One of them handed me a Jesus pamphlet and said, "We'd like to invite you to our gathering," and I said, "Thank you, but this is a pagan home." She tried to press it into my hand saying, "But we welcome everyone, and Jesus welcomes everyone," and I told her, "That's nice, but seriously. Witches live here." (I wasn't trying to speak for my Mom, but I thought it best if they knew where they stood and didn't try to come back later. My Mom, an agnostic, doesn't like this kind of soliciting.) I bid them a nice weekend and they went on their way, though they seemed a little put-out. I don't know why. I was just being direct, and I sure don't go around inviting people into paganism or atheism or whatever-ism I feel like. I don't go up to people's homes handing out Richard Feynman pamphlets for goodness sakes. If I did, and someone told me "Hey that's not my thing," I'd be like, "Oh cool, okay, have a good one." But duh, that would never happen 'cause I'd never try to put anyone on the spot like that. Though sometimes I feel like it. ("I know that the molecules in my body are traceable to phenomena in the Cosmos. That makes me want to grab people on the street and say, 'Have you heard this?!'" - Neil DeGrasse Tyson)

But, today is a really sweet day.

Yesterday was also kind of the bomb. First, Snarklit came over because he's doing a report about tarot cards and the people who read them, and he wanted to interview me. I read him a bunch of times with different cards, and he asked me interesting questions. I hope I was able to help him. Mostly it was just fun getting to hang out. He liked my sunroom and Havok, and said my house was very "earthy." Well, that's definitely no lie. It's like a forest in there. :)

Then, SB and Jo-chan came over. We visited with Boychild and his Momma and Dadda, and Boychild constantly cracked everyone up with his antics. His new thing is doing the "I HAVE THE POWER" phrase from He-Man. Except he goes, "Have a... POWAAAAHHHH!" in the highest, squeakiest voice you ever heard. Then he asks his Momma to put his foam sword down the back of his shirt like Link wears his, and he straddles his stuffed giraffe and rides it around sideways going "HYUUP." He rides it to the table, where he climbs up, and then jumps down totally Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu style, except he finishes with Link's "A Button Attack." Hilarious.

We went to Mom's where Jo-chan showed us this app on her iPhone which I remember playing on the computer a few years ago. It's this 20 question game, and you think of a person—fictional or real—and answer mostly seemingly vague questions, and then the computer guesses your person. It's seriously spooky when you choose someone you think is obscure and it guesses in a few questions. I thought I'd stump it with Richard Feynman or Toranaga from Shogun, but the bastard guessed both of them in just a few questions. WTF? Toranaga, seriously?

After that, we—guess!--ate ice cream, and watched Zombieland. I think that movie suffers from over-hype, as I expected to be rolling on the floor holding my sides. But even if it wasn't side-holdingly funny, it was still really entertaining and I did laugh pretty hard a few times. Bill Murray's entire section amused me, and when the girl hits Woody Harrelson in the head with the golfball, yeah, I LOLed pretty hard at that, now that I'm thinking of it. And the line about Eddie Van Halen too. The delivery slayed me. Okay so yeah, I'd see it again. ^_^

Btu the best part is really spending time with my dearest of dears. Wish there were more days like that.

So, and right now I'm watching everything in my goddamn fish tank fight with everything else. Two days ago the water turned all cloudy and everyone started acting like a douche, except for sweet Lucrezia. Onion's mostly minding his little green cory business, but he's acting like a spaz, too. I had the water tested today and found out it's got too much ammonia in it, which is really bad, so I got an ammonia filter and changed half the water yet frigging again. But, Leon is acting like a dick and flaring at Lucrezia and chasing her away from everything, and my damn snails are fighting. First I thought they were banging again, but then it started to get really nasty, and the little one keeps bitchslapping the huge one with its pointy-ass shell. I've never seen the like! I wonder if ammonia causes aggression in creatures or if it's the equinox or some kind of rage-virus outbreak in the tank. Anyway, looks like the filter might be doing its job because the water looks a little clearer. I don't want anything bad to happen to these fish. They are my favorites.

3:30, time for Sano's meds, turn the laundry over, clean the bathtub, and go back to refreshing the writing workshop like a woman obsessed.

I hope everyone else is out there having a beautiful weekend. :)

ETA: Stolen (as usual) from skitty_kitty, New Finding Puts Origins of Dogs in Middle East. However, Saluki people have known this since forever. ^_^

WTF?! Same to you, space! Geez, some nebulae. :/ Actually, that just demanded to be an icon, didn't it? Hmm, I thought so!

Welp, I spent a few hours today studying for tomorrow's quiz. It's my first quiz this trimester. I think it's going to be pretty hard; I was confused in class as to what was doing what to whom and why, and even studying from the book didn't necessarily clear up my confusion.

Oh my gosh, I owe a huge review of Wolverine, don't I? And I don't really have time to write a whole big thing up! I went to see it Thursday with my bestie Kim. We smuggled in ice cream and candy and got ready to watch scenes of nakie Huge JackedMan. We weren't disappointed! There definitely was a lack of clothes in some scenes. However we both agreed that he is a little too huge and maybe too veiny. I like guys who are kinda ropey with nice forearms and I kinda like prominent veins for some reason, but not when they're all bulging like they're about to explode etc. and he was definitely a little too bumpy, but yeah, the movie itself! That, too!

I mean, it was pretty good; and holy crap, why did no one tell me that David Henney's fine-ass self was in that movie? I was so happy; I love to look at him.

GAMBIT! Gambit had some of the best scenes and he actually sorta beat out Wolverine for sheer coolness, which was kind of weird.

The whole thing with the chick was just tacked on. It seemed like filler; time-filler as well as character-filler. "We need to give him depth; I know, put a tragic chick in his past." You know, that just doesn't work for me.

But the fight scenes were terrific and overall it was a fairly enjoyable ride. I'd see it again sometime for sure.

Oh! In fangirl news, NEW TAKING BACK SUNDAY SONG / VIDEO:




Okay, I just love this, and if it wasn't for me using my nice new "eff you space" icon I'd for sure be using my TBS one. OMG I have an icon conflict, I think that's a first. Anyway, this song is kind of a departure from their usual style which I loved very well--you know, dueling vocals building up to a huge climactic chorus--and which I miss. This is a new sound for them and it gets away from a formula which I admittedly adored. Yet, this is a fantastic song and I really dig it on an entirely new level. As far as the video, well I like this on many levels as well. First of all, it reminds me of the X Files aliens, or "oiliens" if anyone remembers those. Secondly and less important though admittedly a factor, Adam Lazzara? So damn weird and quirky that he's still incredibly hot. I mean I know that he's all married and has a kid and whatnot, but I'm still a girl and my eyes and sensibilities still work, so just deal with it.

I met these guys and I've seen them live a bunch of times. They are awesome. ^_^ ♥

So this all makes me happy.

Well, I'm cooking my dinner and getting ready for Kung Fu tonight. Ummm also I joined this free dating site, why I don't know, I tend to do that every three years or so, right? I hate when I do that, although it's gratifying because guys write to me, and on this site (which is totally free, WTF,) these gentlemen are for some reason ridiculously dreamy, and the dreamy guys are writing to me, wth is that about, seriously? WTH? It's just that, attractive men talking to me when they don't have to (or they're not already my good friends) is blog-worthy. ^_^

And now for the weather: IT'S DAMN CHILLY.

Okay, eggplant parm, gotta run. Later!

My time has been all et up with tests. I have at least three a week. It's madness! I forgot school could be like this, god!

Outside of that, I was also trying crazily to organize this trip to Chinatown Sunday. That's not going to happen. You know, a lot of people wanted it, but there were some factors that just prevented it. I would say "it wasn't meant to be" except I don't honestly think it was THAT huge of a deal. Suffice it to say that I wanted to go, I wanted to go with my friends, and it isn't going to happen. Not this year and probably not the next either, or the one after that--at least not with this group of people. So I'm kinda bummed. But, I'll get over it.

That aside, I am still having my crisis of faith not fitting into a science degree and I haven't, as of yet, spoken much or at length to any of my lecturers. I did speak to one, briefly, like I mentioned. He was very cool about it and very helpful, but of course his answers only led me to more questions. (And the answers were not "this is how you resolve this" but rather "this is what you options are in this school." Which is the only logical thing he could tell me.)

Well, I am finally done studying for tomorrow's test. I'm pretty sure I know the chemical structures and functions of different carbohydrates, lipids and proteins and their sub-groups. It's a little hard to memorize at first, but I think I've got it down in a logical sense. It was a pretty big chapter. Hopefully I can do okay on tomorrow's test and then we move on to cells and such. I love cellular biology! This is just the beginning, though. The actual cytology class I need to take is down the road a piece.

I studied for a long time yesterday,waiting for it to click (it didn't,) and then today after shopping, I finished up the chapter. I think it did click. And now I have tons of laundry but I'd rather play video games for the rest of the day. Tomorrow is such a longass day. Yet as I'm doing all of this stuff I can't help but think of all the fantastic, amazing and nigh unfathomable things are happening in the body constantly. I don't believe in god and I don't believe in one single creator, and I'm not convinced that there is some kind of consciousness outside of biochemical consciousness and all, but I also don't believe totally in chance. The fact that this insanely complicated stuff just happened to happen, just happened to randomly come together through "luck" or whatever, seems as illogical as "a wizard did it." ("A wizard did it" being kinda how I view religious creation theories.) So where the study of science sometimes takes the spirituality away from people, for me, it seems to be adding it.

Einstein said of quantum physics (which he didn't really like,) "God does not play dice."

Well I don't believe in god, but I also don't believe in dice.

What's in the middle?





ETA: Also, I bought some Royal Jelly today and tried it. Umm, I suspect it's an acquired taste. O_o

I got a hundred on my second anatomy/physiology test! This one is on the basics of biochemistry. That's my second test and I've gotten 100 on both. I know that's not going to last; this stuff is going to get harder and I'm going to get lost here and there and that's going to disappoint me. But still, if I could pull an A in this class, I'd be so glad. :)

I like this professor; he's very cool and he reminds me of the few really inspiring teachers I've had all during my learning career, from grade school and on. I think the thing that makes teachers so great is that they never grew up. I don't mean that in an "oh how immature" way, but that they just never felt the pressure to sell out. More, they never get bored with life. This guy, we'll call him Dr. A., he moved our class to 9 AM instead of 8:30 because he's not a morning person (which obviously works out great for me!) That's because he's up till 5 AM playing the Wii. He says he's addicted to Medal of Honor. I told him that I looooved RE4 (one of the other students heartily and almost violently agreed; I swear if we could have reached across the lab table we might have high-fived) and Dr. A said he hadn't played that one. When I handed in my test I wrote, "TRY RESIDENT EVIL 4!" on the question paper. :D

During lunch, I went back to the classroom to study a little and he was there, so I asked him about the things that were on my mind. I asked him what the massage program was like, because--as I told him--I was also taking the Oriental medicine classes and I had to admit that I liked the western science classes so much better (aside from intro to OM and that's really because I have a really great teacher for that one, too.) He told me that the massage program doesn't have anything but massage classes, whereas in the OM program, you are required to take western neurology, pathophysiology, microbiology and immunology, health psychology, pharmacology, and medical ethics. Those are all western classes, and they are the ONLY ones. The rest is all Oriental. However, you dont' get those science classes in the massage program, and to me, those classes sound super exciting.

However, even though I get to take those classes, they never intersect with the Oriental Medicine. I mean, obviously I will learn the things from those classes, but the practical part will just be acupuncture and herbs--the TCM way of treating with herbs, that is.

If I could do massage and herbal / holistic treatments that were more physiological in nature rather than Oriental, that would be ideal. I just don't know how to work that out.

Anyway, he was really cool and he gave me so much to think about.

Stonybrook has a 12 month accelerated master's program in nursing. There's that, too. You need prerequisite credits in anatomy/physiology, chem I and II, and microbiology.

Man, I just don't know.

What I do know is that I'm going to ask if maybe next semester I can pick up some extra cash by tutoring in anatomy and physiology. If I can stay strong in that class, maybe I can do that.

In the meantime, I'm off tomorrow (except I have to study for TWO tests, one in herbs on Monday and one in chem Tuesday since I definitely wont' have time to study for chem on Monday!) and I can sleep late tomorrow morning. I also want to go shopping and get a little of this and a little of that.

Well, those are my thoughts for today.

Oh, but I also want to point out this blogger's post on all the things that Obama has accomplished in his first two days alone. Anyone who was saying things like, "I hope he's going to do the things he said he would," this is the post to read. ^_^ ♥

So, I am drafting an email to a professor who I really think can help me with this crisis of faith vs. science that I am having. Because science is winning, and while I think it should win and needs to win, I also can't deny the relation that all science has with Tao, which is amazing and fantastic. (Tangentially, I take nothing on faith to begin with. Nothing. I know some people think that's not too good of a trait, but it's how I'm built. My belief comes from logic, even if that logic seems twisted to some people.)

( Madness follows. )


In other words, I can't be all Mulder. I need to be some Scully as well.

I'm so torn, because I don't want to get a scientific degree in something that I can't reconcile as science. I am totally cool with Tao and TCM, but if it refuses to acknowledge science, that can it really call itself that? And even though I do acknowledge the absolutely amazing observations that TCM was capable of, it still seems "stuck" and not moving forward. Why can't the two intersect? I love metaphor and I really love this philosophy because the philosophy is based on what is observable and, amazingly enough, what was unobservable but has been proven true. It is amazingly real and effective. Just, why? In hard science, why?

I guess the real question is that, when I get this Master's degree, will it be in Science or in Philosophy?

*Sigh*

In non-school/science news, Kung Fu tonight was fantastic, with lots of kicks which I really love, and then a drill which was awesome, even though I got kicked in the chest but that was partially if not entirely my fault; I should have been watching better. On the other hand I did get up at 6:30 this morning and I felt like I was halfway asleep; I don't even know WTF I'm writing right now. Mornings are torture to me. Seriously if I was ever captured and someone wanted to really torment me, making me get up and do stuff that early in the morning would be very effective; I could be talked into many evil and unnatural things if tempted with sleeping past 6:30. I sort of just want to cry when my alarm clock goes off that damn early and it's all dark and STUPID cold like it was this morning, when it was seven whole degrees, people. Well anyway, so Kung Fu was great, and then in blackbelt we did another cool drill which I liked and I was working with the Lady Chrysanthemum which is always fun, and then I was so damn tired and so the Gold Dragon drove the Empress Teishi home tonight with a very sweet, "You're tired from school; I'll take her home," when I could only guess that he was tired from school too; so that was very kind and gracious of him; but he is often gracious so that's no surprise. Not that I mind driving the Empress home because she's good company and we talk about all manner of things.

OMG, "I'm tired from school," a year ago I could not have imagined saying that. The best thing is that I'm doing something, and I'm feeling like I'm taking in all this fantastic history and knowledge. yesterday in chemistry it was getting a little hairy what-with sub-orbitals and whatnot and I was halfway confused and halfway totally glorifying in finally coming to know the world that I love and all its crazy ways; the world I should have been understanding since high school.

I just hope I will end up where I'm supposed to be. I'm thinking maybe of switching out to the massage program and then finishing up a Master's in something like nutrition at some other school; I think I mentioned that before. It would be cool, I could start making money sooner and then, in the meantime while I was still studying science, I could set up a table somewhere or other and help all of my friends and stuff. You know?

Gosh it seems so late and I am really tired. I need to eat a pomegranate!


(Of note: The title of this entry is the text on my fantastic and awesome new icon that I made myself and is probably my new favorite icon at the moment. Those lyrics come from one of my all-time favorite songs ever. I still have it on my iPod. ^_^ )






ETA: I'm really sorry that I'm repeating myself. These past few entries have all been attempts to say exactly what I want to say in an email to one of my professors. So I do realize that I've said the same exact things two or three times in a row and I'm sorry for that.

I know that among my flist I am lucky enough to have people of biology, chemistry and physics training and I am thankful for that. Once again I am calling on you guys, and on anyone else who can answer my question.

This isn't a question on a test or anything and it's nothing I really need to know in order to pass, but it's bugging me. And please bear in mind that this is an ignorant question: it comes from someone who didn't even bother to try in high school chemistry, which was back in '88 or something. O_O So!

Okay, first we have the laws of the conservation of energy and mass, right? This is one of my favorite things ever, you guys know the one: Mass / Energy is neither created nor destroyed. Okay, great, so far, so good.

But then we came to atomic mass, where it says that the mass of a single atom is less than the sum of its parts, if you will, because some of the mass is lost when the atom's different components came together.

Okay, so WTF? On one hand, mass is never lost, but when an atom forms, mass is lost?

I asked the professor that today but it was all rushed and towards the end of class etc. and a lot of other people were talking and stuff and I think all I got from around the entire classroom was a group of "I dunno's" and shrugs.

Can anyone explain this to me?

Also, do you just adore my icon? I made it. ^_^

This was from yesterday:

Today I went for my college orientation. I thought I would be nervous, but instead I felt totally at ease, thinking that only good could come of any or it. I didn't even have to convince myself; it was just there.

They didn't tell me anything I didn't already know about college. Rules of conduct, who to talk to about certain questions, use of lockers, where everything was, and junk like that. But there were some unspoken surprises.

For instance, when I was reading the book about this particular college, I found out things that I should have thought of on my own but that hadn't yet occurred to me, such as that we're not allowed to go to classes if we're sick. I know in most colleges you just stay home if you're really sick, or out of courtesy if you're contagious, but then this is a medical college. You really can't go if you're sick, because you are going to be in the clinic and working with people who are already compromised. I have to keep my nails really short; I had figured on that, but I didn't know it would be an official rule. Classes on "nudity conduct" are mandatory, which I hadn't even thought of. Yeah, patients are going to be naked and just draped some of the time.

Another surprise was how many people of my age or even older were there. However, only two of us in the whole thing were there for acupuncture and Oriental medicine. The rest (about twenty on this day - there are more, but there are other orientations they can go to before january,) were all massage therapy students. Only two of us doing medicine and starting in january. I guess I can count on small classes, anyway. O_o

Also, oh my gosh! So many cute and interesting men! WTF! I swear I saw Jay Baruchel, Andrew Volpe and Terrence Howard. No, seriously, there is a guy there around my age who looks like Terrence Howard. And he even came to talk to me. I was like, :-O And then there was this one guy walking around looking like someone out of a Douglas Adams book; that's really the only physical description I can come up with for him. Kind of like a paranoid crane at first glance, sort of tall and feathery, but kind of looking around like he was trying to hide from ninjas or something. He didn't look at all approachable, and finally he sat down in a chair with his coffee between his knees, damn near tucking his head under his wing at the same time. I was like, "Who the hell is this guy?" But then they introduced him as the manager of the book store, and and he got up he sort of got stuck on his chair and he grinned a little and then did his shy little speech and I was like "AWWWW!" After that he was seriously cute. Weird people intrigue the hell out of me.

I went to the book store (to buy my books--honestly!) and he helped me out a lot. I asked him his name (even though I remembered it from when they introduced him) and he told me "Greer" and I said, "that is such a fantastic name" and he was like, "Yeah, kind of." ^_^

MY BOOKS WERE CLOSE TO SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. Fortunately he explained to me that the biggest and most expensive ones were ones that I would use throughout all of the courses, and then even afterwards during any medical career. (They are the ones you see on bookshelves, you know, when you go to see doctors and stuff.) So the good thing is that I won't have to buy expensive books like this again.

But aside from the money, the books themselves are, I admit, daunting. I still have my old college medical books, and though they are thorough and they helped me a lot the first time around, they are nothing like these ones. These books are, well they are real doctor books. I turned to a random page in a few of them and read some of it and realized that I only had the vaguest of ideas on what they were talking about, (especially the chemistry one,) and I realized what a neophyte I am with all of this stuff and I found myself wondering, "How will I ever get this far?" Yes, it is a little daunting! I mean, wtf am I doing with over six hundred dollars worth of medical books? WTF? WTMFF? Looking at them, I felt as nervous as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

But, at least I have them a little early and I can start looking through them now, and maybe get a jump on some of the early stuff. Right?

Yeah! For sure! ^_^


Umm, and actually, this was also from last night:

Technology that can show you what others think.

( Entire article under the cut )

Like in Brainstorm with Christopher Walken! But I've always maintained that if this technologly ever existed, and if they ever perfect it, the human race will use it primarily for one thing: PORN.

So for a while I've been a big fan of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider at Brookhaven National Lab. (It's the hugest RHIC at this time, but rumor has it CERN's one is going to be even bigger. IIRC, didn't Dan Brown write in Angels and Demons that CERN already had one?) So anyway, I am tiny part science geek, though I don't often talk about it because I don't know enough to talk well, and that science geek part of me loves the RHIC and loves the fact that it is on Long Island.

The hippie in me, though, who likes everything to be all natural all of the time etc., is terrificallly afraid of the RHIC and doesn't think that there should even be one. Do we really need to be messing around like this? says Earth Mother Hippie.

Science geek says, STFU! They can make a black hole!

Earth Mother hippie points to the paragraph on that page where it says, Hey, look, the RHIC works, because it didn't destroy the Earth like it could have! She points to where it says that the RHIC could have torn the fabric of space and time and could have formed a strangelet which would turn all matter into a mass of quarks.

Science geek laughs in Earth Mother Hippie's face because she thinks, What a way to go! And quarks are like the best matter ever!

Earth Mother Hippie points to the bottom of that page where it says that some have hypothesized that strangelets were responsible for some earthquakes, and earthquakes are never good.

Science Geek's jaw hits the floor.

All of me thinks that Long Island is the most interesting place in the entire world. There are just parts of me that disagree why it is so interesting, and when they fight, they fight violently and the rest of me can't sleep.