Between god and dice.
Feb. 6th, 2009 03:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideMy time has been all et up with tests. I have at least three a week. It's madness! I forgot school could be like this, god!
Outside of that, I was also trying crazily to organize this trip to Chinatown Sunday. That's not going to happen. You know, a lot of people wanted it, but there were some factors that just prevented it. I would say "it wasn't meant to be" except I don't honestly think it was THAT huge of a deal. Suffice it to say that I wanted to go, I wanted to go with my friends, and it isn't going to happen. Not this year and probably not the next either, or the one after that--at least not with this group of people. So I'm kinda bummed. But, I'll get over it.
That aside, I am still having my crisis of faith not fitting into a science degree and I haven't, as of yet, spoken much or at length to any of my lecturers. I did speak to one, briefly, like I mentioned. He was very cool about it and very helpful, but of course his answers only led me to more questions. (And the answers were not "this is how you resolve this" but rather "this is what you options are in this school." Which is the only logical thing he could tell me.)
Well, I am finally done studying for tomorrow's test. I'm pretty sure I know the chemical structures and functions of different carbohydrates, lipids and proteins and their sub-groups. It's a little hard to memorize at first, but I think I've got it down in a logical sense. It was a pretty big chapter. Hopefully I can do okay on tomorrow's test and then we move on to cells and such. I love cellular biology! This is just the beginning, though. The actual cytology class I need to take is down the road a piece.
I studied for a long time yesterday,waiting for it to click (it didn't,) and then today after shopping, I finished up the chapter. I think it did click. And now I have tons of laundry but I'd rather play video games for the rest of the day. Tomorrow is such a longass day. Yet as I'm doing all of this stuff I can't help but think of all the fantastic, amazing and nigh unfathomable things are happening in the body constantly. I don't believe in god and I don't believe in one single creator, and I'm not convinced that there is some kind of consciousness outside of biochemical consciousness and all, but I also don't believe totally in chance. The fact that this insanely complicated stuff just happened to happen, just happened to randomly come together through "luck" or whatever, seems as illogical as "a wizard did it." ("A wizard did it" being kinda how I view religious creation theories.) So where the study of science sometimes takes the spirituality away from people, for me, it seems to be adding it.
Einstein said of quantum physics (which he didn't really like,) "God does not play dice."
Well I don't believe in god, but I also don't believe in dice.
What's in the middle?
ETA: Also, I bought some Royal Jelly today and tried it. Umm, I suspect it's an acquired taste. O_o
Outside of that, I was also trying crazily to organize this trip to Chinatown Sunday. That's not going to happen. You know, a lot of people wanted it, but there were some factors that just prevented it. I would say "it wasn't meant to be" except I don't honestly think it was THAT huge of a deal. Suffice it to say that I wanted to go, I wanted to go with my friends, and it isn't going to happen. Not this year and probably not the next either, or the one after that--at least not with this group of people. So I'm kinda bummed. But, I'll get over it.
That aside, I am still having my crisis of faith not fitting into a science degree and I haven't, as of yet, spoken much or at length to any of my lecturers. I did speak to one, briefly, like I mentioned. He was very cool about it and very helpful, but of course his answers only led me to more questions. (And the answers were not "this is how you resolve this" but rather "this is what you options are in this school." Which is the only logical thing he could tell me.)
Well, I am finally done studying for tomorrow's test. I'm pretty sure I know the chemical structures and functions of different carbohydrates, lipids and proteins and their sub-groups. It's a little hard to memorize at first, but I think I've got it down in a logical sense. It was a pretty big chapter. Hopefully I can do okay on tomorrow's test and then we move on to cells and such. I love cellular biology! This is just the beginning, though. The actual cytology class I need to take is down the road a piece.
I studied for a long time yesterday,waiting for it to click (it didn't,) and then today after shopping, I finished up the chapter. I think it did click. And now I have tons of laundry but I'd rather play video games for the rest of the day. Tomorrow is such a longass day. Yet as I'm doing all of this stuff I can't help but think of all the fantastic, amazing and nigh unfathomable things are happening in the body constantly. I don't believe in god and I don't believe in one single creator, and I'm not convinced that there is some kind of consciousness outside of biochemical consciousness and all, but I also don't believe totally in chance. The fact that this insanely complicated stuff just happened to happen, just happened to randomly come together through "luck" or whatever, seems as illogical as "a wizard did it." ("A wizard did it" being kinda how I view religious creation theories.) So where the study of science sometimes takes the spirituality away from people, for me, it seems to be adding it.
Einstein said of quantum physics (which he didn't really like,) "God does not play dice."
Well I don't believe in god, but I also don't believe in dice.
What's in the middle?
ETA: Also, I bought some Royal Jelly today and tried it. Umm, I suspect it's an acquired taste. O_o
