Blather, rinse, repeat

I started writing this last night.

Ahh Friday. Well, Saturday now I guess.

Last night was just one of those usual awesome Thursdays hanging out with Kim. Like I said, I was feeling sort of off and I knew I needed to like, be among humans, humans that I value above most humans, I mean. That, and ice cream. So we went out for our usual pizza and added cheesecake, brownies and ice cream. Yeah, I did really well yesterday. We watched the movie "Dead Man" with Johnny Depp, which was very, very bizarre and had what is now one of my favorite lines in a movie in it. ^_^

We also decided to go to the Powwow on Sunday. I haven't been to the Powwow in about four years or so, maybe five. And it's going to be that same mixture of happiness and awkwardness I always get there. I'm happy to be there, happy to be doing something awesome with my best friend. Awkward because I'll walk around feeling like a tourist to a culture that I should have been trying to grasp since I was young, only I didn't know any better back then. And invariably some stupid white person will ask me which tribe I'm in and I'll probably hand-wave it and say "Choctaw" because I daren't even mention the Cherokee. Then some NDN will ask me what Nation and I'll say, "None" and that won't be a lie, either. Then I'll feel awkward. I always have this terrible feeling that "real" NDNs, enrolled and otherwise, or who grew up with the world view of having lived on a rez, are somehow thinking that I look the way I do because I'm trying to fit in, that I'm a wannabe. I know that's ridiculous and I can't help looking the way I do. It's not like I mean to or do it on purpose, and of course they really totally know that. But I'm still hung up. I do stupid things like make sure my hair is styled in a more "white" way, so that I don't look like I'm going for the cliched Cherokee Pride look. Day to day I usually wear feathers, (just because I raise birds and I love feathers) but I will make sure not to wear any to the Powwow, you know?

I have identity issues.

Anyway, today at work wasn't so bad. The day found most of us in a relatively good mood even though we were pretty busy. Tricia came to visit, and even though it wasn't for too long, it was good to see her. The best part was getting sent flowers from the owners of this dog
Then I got tired and went to bed. Picking up today...

Yeah, so flowers from the owners of this dog Harley, a 3 year old huge German Shep that was brought to us after having bitten somone and was probably going to get put to sleep. Some of you might remember that this woudn't be the first time I've fought for a problem shepard, but we had a lot more time with Jimmy and this dog only had ten days. (For those who didn't know me back then, one thing you must realize is that I'm not one of these rabid, crazy people who has to save every "doomed, misunderstood" dog that bites someone and ends up on death row. I'm all for putting down malicious dogs who keep on hurting people; I'm sorry, but there are fantastic dogs out there who need homes and then there are dogs that are, sadly, hopeless. Jimmy and Harley weren't hopeless.) Anyway, I didn't do nearly as much for Harley as I did for Jimmy, but I did put in good words for him everytime someone asked about him, as did Casse and Gabi. Among the three of us, we were all looking to place Harley and let everyone know that this dog really was just misunderstood. Sometimes people just don't know how to approach a strange dog and they get nipped or bitten, it happens. Sometimes dogs just need training. Well anyway, last week someone did come in and decide to adopt Harley, signing a contract saying they understood that he had bitten someone etc. So yesterday we got flowers with a card that read, "Thank you for a great stay, for having faith in me, and for another lease on life. Love, Harley." Which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Also made me think, Wow! What a clever dog it is that can order flowers! ^_~

Hey, lemme take a sec to rant about pet names, okay? Okay, we have a lot of dogs named Harley. It's probably one of the most popular dog names out there today. For male dogs you get a lot of Harley, Buddy, Jake, things like that. A ton of Murphy and a smattering of Barney. If its a big dog or if it is fluffy, its name will invariably be Bear. For female dogs you get mostly Maggie, Molly, Rosie and Bella. A great deal of Abby, Annie, Sasha and Sadie. Those are the most popular dog names so if you need to name a dog and you want to go with something a bit more original, avoid those names. As far as cats go, pretty much every grey cat is named Smokey, every black cat is named Shadow or Blackie, every cat with white feet is either Boots or Socks, orange cats are Pumpkin, long-haired cats are Precious, and tuxedo cats are Oreo. Well, but maybe it's regional, I'm just saying that out of all the dogs and cats we get, those are the names I see the most. "Lucky" is always popular, but that's just about the cruelest thing you can do to your pet. Naming your pet Lucky guarantees that it will not be. I would also like to point out that if you name your dog or cat Dixie, WE ARE GOING TO PRETEND ITS LAST NAME IS "NORMUS." Seriously, people. So put some thought into that one.

Right, so today Mom and I took my Gran out shopping. She's become sort of a shut-in recently, and it takes a lot to get her to agree to come out for a while. And by "a lot" I mean, "flowers and plants." Seriously, if Gran starts staying in too long, I always break out the "We'll shop for flooooowerrrrrsssss!" and then she'll be willing to go. So she bought a ton of stuff and then forgot that she had paid for them. You know what? She's 87, she'll be 88 in a few short months. I say, let her forget whatever she wants to forget. She also has these strange thoughts that she'll tell me about sometimes, that she thinks there are people outside of her windows, or random kittens in her bed, or kids running around her apartment. (Nancy at work calls this being "away with the fairies" and I like that saying. ^_^ ) I just think that as long as she's not hurting herself or anyone else, and it's not (usually) upsetting her, then just let her think what she wants, you know? I've always been close to my Gran as most of you know, and I just want her to be happy and have her flowers and her Harry Potter and her music and books and movies. So what if she thinks that there are spirit people looking into her window. Who am I to say they aren't?

Oh, here's a really cool thing that happened to me today. Okay, so every few weeks I have to go to the pet store to buy worms for my birds, and usually I try to buy them in bulk, 1000 at a time. The folks there never actually know the price of bulk worms so they pretty much make it up. Once I got them for $8 from this adorably cute (but YOUNG) kid named Jesse. By young I mean like early twenties. But superfly cute, I mean the kind of guy that girls check out. So I went there today and there is this new guy there (whom I have actually met before when he worked at a different store; funny story there, he's got "420" tattooed hugely on his arm and so is difficult to forget,) he had no idea what to charge me for the worms. Also there is this young girl Jackie, a totally awesome little chick that I talk to everytime I go in for worms because she was the only one who ever got my "all your base" t shirt. Anyway, so this new guy was trying to call the manager at home to try and figure out the price and they were asking me what I usually paid. I told them, You know, it changes every time. Honestly, sometimes it's $15 and sometimes it's $10. I mentioned that once, Jesse said it was $8. And then Jackie said, "Please! I'm sorry, but Jesse was just giving you a break because he thinks you're cute." Which of course made me go all "OMG OH PLEASE! PSHAW!" with a huge WTF sign hanging over my head. Seriously. But you know, nonetheless, it pretty much made my day. Sometimes I'm pathetically easy to sort out. Other times, not so much.

Well, now I'm sitting here dying my hair and then later Chrissie is going to come by to pick up the invitations I bought for her baby shower, and to discuss the whole HUGE bunch of other people she wants invited. Which is great and all, it's just that she wants me to host this at her house and I have no idea where we're going to fit all of these people? Still, it's something to look forward to. The baby I mean, not the party. I just wish we could get a more updated picture of him, the last one we have he's only a month old and now he's already almost 6 months old. Hello! I could walk by my new god(dess) son on the street (well, if I was in Korea anyway,) and not recognize him. PICS PLS.

Years from now after I've spent so much time with this new kid I'll read this back and be like, Holy crap, I didn't even know him then. O_O And SB will be finishing up college and Jo-chan will be starting it, and I will be closer to 40 than to 30. Isn't time a bitchass?

I have no illusions about this country, (for which I'm thankful,) and today I wore my Native Pride t shirt while I was out and about at Epcot Center. I went alone today to see if I could get some Christmas shopping done.* I went in through the west gate, and the ticket guy looked at my shirt and askes what tribe. I told him some choctaw, and some Cherokee or at least that was the rumor. He said he was from some tribe in North Carolina that I had never heard of. (He said most people hadn't heard of it, either.) Then he told me about te fabulous PowWow they do every April and that I should try to come down. So once I get home I have to check out Gathering Of Nations online and see which one it is. Kim and I have wanted to road trip to a PowWow for a long time now.

Then some British people called out "Native Girl!" when I went past. I'm not sure why they felt the need, but it wasn't malicious or anything. When I had made my way to Mitsukoshi, two very NDN looking folks, a man and woman who looked like brother and sister, raised their fists and shouted "NATIVE PRIDE!" as I went by. It was very awesome.

I did have a little politically incorrect fun when passing the American Pavillion. Just as I got there, they were doing this fife and drum routine with the people all dressed up colonial like. I looked at them, looked at the crowd starting to gather, shouted "The goddamn pilgrims are coming!" and ran like hell. It was kind of fun, but I don't think the average Disney-goer was amused.

Anyway, so I spent quite a while in Mitsukoshi which, as everyone who knows me knows, is my favorite store perhaps in the entire world. Going there sometimes feels like coming home, and leaving always feels premature.

I wandered around, finally heading on over to The Land to ask someone who worked there what these shrubs were that smelled awesome when I was there a few weeks ago. They smelled like the sweetest orange blossoms, but they weren't orange trees. I hoped they were mock orange, because I planted a bunch of them last summer. However, no one who worked there--not even the Behind The Seeds folks--knew what the hell they were. WTF?

Headed on downtown, replaced my rusted Stitch earrings, got some goodies for work and something for Chris and Tim, then back to the hotel to chill for 45 minutes before dinner, which was at Fark Pare. There we met up with the rest of the group. I kept it actually very light tonight because I knew we'd go out later for ice cream, but I was the only one.

A note about my Gran: she likes to add her own random syllables after words sometimes; it's just a habit she's always had. For example, she's diabetic, and in the morning she doesn't take her needle, she takes her needleedleedle. Anyway, as we were walking out, my Mom asked her if she was coming downtown with the rest of us for some ice cream. Gran replied, "Nah, I think I'll go home, take a shower, and rest. I'm too fullydildo." My Mom laughed just about until she had tears. Meghan commented, "I love this family. No one is right."

We went for ice cream at Ghirardellis and I had a huge Toffee Interlude Sundae, and then I, too, was fullydildo. I bought some chocolate for Laura and a gift for my folks. We wandered around the huge store for a while before heading back.

And that was this year's Thanksgiving. It was good; I was able to make a statement and have fun at the same time. ^_^

I remembered the other thing I wanted to write about. The day we were all at Epcot, Spence, Meg and I went over to Innoventions for a spell. Spencer rode a Segway, and he was so psyched about it that he left his sweater there. Thinking that he had left it at the other Innoventions, we later went back to look for it, where we were stopped by a woman telling us we had won a special evening pass to stay after closing and ride all the rides with a 15 minute wait or less, and also a special viewing spot to see Illuminations. We figured that everyone in the world had won the same thing, but later found out that it was only a few hundred. We watched the fireworks show (I do love most of this show, but they spin that damn ball for way too long,) and then afterwards we ran off to Test Track. Mom, Betsy, the kids and I all went on and it was fantastic. ("BREAKING! BREAKING! BREAKING!") Then Meg and I stopped at the ladies' room and when we came out I commented that it looked a bit dark. Dad, Betsy, Meg and I ran off to Soarin', only to find that it was out of order. We called up Mom to tell her, and she said that Universe of Energy, which the rest were going to ride, was also down. As it happens, ALL of the rides were down. The rumor from the workers was that there had been a huge blackout. Jonathan later told me that he didn't know of any lackout at all, and anyway, Disneyworld has its own electricity. (My Dad finally figured out that all the rides are probably on a timer, and they just forgot to reset it for the whole E-Night thing. Bah!) Anyway, Soarin' came back up about ten minutes before closing, so we did get one last ride on that.

Anyway, tomorrow is the last full day. This is especially freaked out, because it's the last trip before Spencer goes off to college. How the hell did that happen?





*(I didn't. I bought stuff for myself.)

"I think that is very sad," said Janice Shaw Crouse, a former college dean and public high school teacher and now a spokeswoman for Concerned Women for America, a conservative organization. "He is teaching his students to hate their country. That is a very distorted view of history, a distorted view of Thanksgiving." Right. Teaching kids the truth is BAD.

( Copied for saving... )

Work today was pretty decent and it went quickly. All day I had two things on my mind: The sword form, and all the Hula shows coming up. Today, for the first time, I got my twinge of nervousness about the Hula shows. There are three numbers that I don't know inside and out. One of them I hardly know at all. And we've only got two more rehearsals before the big show, I think. And Claudine has the video and the notes. And the music came out sounding really muddy. God! I so totally do not want to mess up Keali'i's papa-hehi number. We've practiced that one on and off for a few months, but I just never have it firmly in my mind; I don't have the muscle memory yet, and it's complicated. You're playing two different instruments while dancing--one with your right foot, one with both hands--in two different rhythms, one on the beat, one syncopated, and once in a while they switch. I can get the rhythms without any big problem; it's really the movements that I don't feel I have memorized, and certainly I still get the verses mixed up. O_o Then there's the Wedding Song which we only rehearsed twice so far, and for which I also don't have the music, and then there's the new Tahitian.

*shudder*

And I'm still thinking of the sword form. I hope we're doing that again tomorrow night.

Tonight Kim is coming over for our usual hang-out and chat. I don't know what I'd do without my closest friends. Probably be on the internet a lot more than I am. ;) And probably care about it, too. Actually, I might bring up that road-trip that she has been talking about for a while. We have always wanted to drive down to one of the really big Powwows in the south-west-ish. Kim loves these things. I do, too ... although I always leave feeling just a little disenfranchised. My own issue, I guess. My blood is just as Native as a lot of NDNs who liv on the rez, but, I know, I know: different world view. I didn't grow up on the rez. I get that. Still kind of odd, like looking through a window to the culture of your ancestors. I'd love to just touch it sometimes, you know?

Or maybe I'll just try to talk her into going hiking at Camp Hero again, or to Tuxedo for the Renfest. Whichever. ^_^

I've got so much to do before Saturday! I just don't feel like doing it right now.

ETA: Look at the size of this wave as compared to the guy surfing it. This almost made me throw up. I'll stick to my little 3' surf, okee?

Funny thing. I got an email to my only public email addy about, of all people, faire_damsel, from a semi-anonymous person identifying herself as a Cree. She says that she emailed Rose regarding her use of the term "Cherokee Princess" and told her that it was insulting to true NDNs and damaging to people who really have NDN blood and are trying to be taken seriously. She intimated that Rose's reply was along the lines of "it's the NDNs' fault if they don't like it" kinda thing. Whatever; I always had Rose pegged. The part that actually got my attention is that she says Rose told her that I was out to get her (it was my post to the NDN lj comm, like, months ago that she found,) and that I posted it because I was "twisted." Uhh, heee! I'm twisted! ^_^

It really made me think, you know? There are tons of people out there who loathe Rose and say things about her that I wouldn't say about most humans, misguided or not. There are web pages such as the Encyclopedia Dramatica that describe her as a "sexless midget", there are web sites that have altered pics of her, that say pornographic things, people on sites that say rude things about her husband, even. All I did? Tell the truth. "LOLz Rose thinks her ancestor was a Cherokee princess, what a moron! I have her pegged as arrogant whitebread with a mean streak." And as it turns out, I was right. Go, me. I'm a good reader of people. Just call me House. ^_^ (More on House later.)

I think it's because those other people on those really cruel websites can be chalked up to being meanies. Meanies you can ignore. But man, people like Rose hate the unflattering truth more than anything. Me? I've got tons of faults. They're boring and I talk about them a lot. Rose would have you think she doesn't have any, and when someone points them up, then that person is "twisted". Reminded me in a way of LQ. For years people who called themselves her friends stalked her, stole her asinine stories to post on all these websites, a few of them even posted her personal info so that people would call her at home; they drew rude pictures of her and posted them in places, and even when she found out about it, (took a while, because she is an idiot,) her main reaction was a kind of dull betrayal. But I told her, Hey, LQ, you're a hopeless, illiterate moron, and it's wrong to blackmail fourteen year old boys for cybersex, and what's more, your plan to travel to another country to have sex with a fifteen year old girl has a name: child sex tourism. She will probably never stop being a sleazebucket, but I'm the one she'll remember till the day she dies.

Do I have it in for Rose? Nah, I just don't like her brand of petty hypocrisy, and I call it like I see it.

So anyway, as I might have mentioned, I decided I wanted to redo my kitchen on a tight budget, meaning paint and tiles, and maybe lights if I could. I found some pictures on the internet of the kind of look I really love, and I took the picture down to Home Depot to see if they could match the paint. I got it in satin finish because I have to clean it a lot. Wanting to get right to it, I got two gallons (it's a HUGE kitchen with a lot of wall.) I did one wall and I liked it. I did two walls and a tentatively liked it. I did the third wall and it started to look like shiny fleshtone. I did part of the fourth wall, turned on the light beside it, and hated it.

So now I have to start over yet again with a different color. Once again, I bought two gallons, because I'm sticking with it this time no matter what.

I should take some pics so I can always remember what I did to the walls. Here we are: ( orangey-terra cotta-y paint + satin finish over stucco = NOT PRETTY. )

You can see the old color above the window, a washed out, vague light blue that I've always hated. I want that warm, Mediterranean look, a Sicilain kitchen kinda thing like you might see in Ye Olde Paintings. The look that makes one think you cook just about everything with olive oil and have a lemon tree outside. I got obsessed with that idea when I very first moved in here and was on my Godfather kick. I decorated everything in a grape motif because of that scene (mostly in the book) where Michael first sees Apollonia when she's carrying grapes. Goodness knows I have no idea why I picked that ugly blue. I didn't like it from the first time I saw it on the walls.

Speaking of The Godfather, tonight I caught the end of The Godfather III while I ate dinner and my dogs all chilled out sprawled around the room. (This week my parents have gone on vacation and I have access to my Mom's stove. Heeee. Tonight I made a rice and black bean wrap, cooked with cheddar cheese and salsa. Just for kicks I added some hummus. It was delish.) I loooove the original Godfather, and II was good, too, but III was really sucky and Mary was just laughable. Yet why do I always cry when she dies?

Then Idol was on, and I'm rooting for Elliot Yamin. I think he's got the best voice out of all of them. Uhh, holy crizzap, and he did the song "Trouble." Little known fact that my family doesn't often discuss: my Dad is the uncredited writer of that song. I always get a little mad when I hear it because no one will ever acknowledge that it's his. (My own band covered it [badly] when we were in high school.) Here you can download an MP3 of my Dad doing that song himself, better than any of the other versions.

Then House came on. Oh, ugh, I hate baby stuff, even with fake babies. It was so harsh. Yet I'm really feeling the Cuddy love now that it seems like she is going all SMC on us. SMC is one of my own biggest issues, and I'm rooting for her in a huge way. I really hope they develop that storyline. It's going to be all over the SMC mailing list. ^_^ *hugs Cuddy* Then the previews from next week showed that it's going to be a Katrina victim episode. Again with the "ugh." I kinda thought a show like House would be above doing a Katrina thing. Still, I think I'm starting to get a little crush-type thing on Chase. He's so cute with his floppy hair and his Catholic boy guilt-angst. I know he had his Big Episode already this season, but I so wish they'd do more with him and push him to his limits. They hinted at his story tonight with the paycheck thing and his dad's death (lest we forget,) but I want more,damnit. Then I could forgive him for betraying House last season. ;)

So, I think it's time for another seasonal photo dump. Pics aren't too big, but still: slow connections, turn and flee.

( Last year's starlings, at my door again to say hello. Hello, babies! )
The surest sign of success for a wildlife rehabber is to see her babies come back the next year, sometimes with mates and babies of their own. ^_^ Check it out, they are right at the door, too. "Hey human! You got anymore of those worms?"

( These awesome flowers under my willow tree.  )
I'm sort of obsessed with them. They bloom like mad.

( Willow tree, apple tree, fountain pond. )

( My three darlings, indoors being good. )
My boys look a little spooky in the background there.

( Sano with his big mug right in the camera. Handsome man! )


( Trisky getting stoned on grass. )
Seriously, that one spot of grass is like dognip or something, but just for her. She rubs on it and rolls around and gets all weird.

Anyway, it's raining right now, which, yay and all and my outdoor garden is loving it. But apparently it's going to rain for about ten days in a row. Again, neato, I don't have to water the garden, but that sucks for my indoor plants and for Pendragon who is really missing the sun.

What a peaceful and lovely night this is. Tomorrow I will be painting all day long, with breaks to eat and take care of all the animals. For the evening, I might get some strawberries, a movie, and hmmm, maybe some plum wine. Mmmmm, a cup of plume wine would be really nice. But before that, I'm going to get to some serious painting, yo.

Then I've got Thursday off this week, too. ^______^

Don't mind me, I'm just hitting my 33rd year and trying to come to terms with how I look by posting honest pictures to prove to myself that I'm not afraid of other people seeing me and judging me. Some of these have been posted in locked posts before, some haven't. It's not important to anyone but me, trust me. You can skip it.

( This is me last year, hiding behind my hands under the pretense of doing a funny pose. )


( This is me, not hiding. )


( Doing what I love. )

( This is my paternal grandmother. I'm posting this because I like to remind myself that I look like her. She was Cherokee-Choctow / German. )

( This is my paternal great grandmother. She was Cherokee-Choctaw. )

I kinda look like both of them.

Anyway, so, I'm getting there.