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la_belle_laideIn which time is not my friend:
So here is my schedule for this week:
Tomorrow: Finish shopping. Later, Kung Fu.
Tuesday: Mind the Boychild
Wednesday: Leathermouth / Reggie concert in Nassau
Thursday: Mind the Boychild. Get all birds and supplies ready.
Friday: Drop the birds off to Laura. Pack all my stuff. Get all dogs' stuff ready.
Saturday: Drop dogs off for boarding. Swing by Lao Shir's house for BBQ. Family party that night.
Sunday: Clean entire effing house top to bottom. Shampoo the rugs.
Monday: Fly to Florida.
Yikes.
In which I put the smack down to no avail.
So check this out. Yesterday on a sci-fi/fantasy fiction community for writers, someone asked for some debates on fanfiction. I expected the usual debates re: merit, skill, is it a waste of talent, how do authors feel about it, etc. Instead, this one guy, someone who claims to get paid for writing, flipped his crap. He said that fanfic writers were wankers, choads, trolls, fanboys, thieves, etc. I mean, the list went on and on and got more and more vitriolic as I kept shooting him down with logic. At first he said it was "mental masturbation" and his reasoning was that it was because it was done for one's own pleasure and that "no one else enjoys it." I pointed out that lots of people actually enjoyed it. He said that writing for any other reason than to be published and paid was "narcissistic." That there was no real joy in writing, or that if there was that was somehow wrong: that the real joy was the paycheck. I pointed out that finding joy in doing something harmless from oneself which resulted in neither pay nor praise was far from "narcissistic." He said it was wrong for amateurs to write for the hell of it, because it was, to him, synonymous with ten year olds practicing as doctors for the hell of it. I pointed out the lack of logic there: Doctors often have your life in their hands. Writers, not so much. And during all of this, even while he was spewing hate and calling names, I--surprisingly--kept the gloves on.
Finally he exploded in wank and said that all those trolls and losers who wrote things that they never meant for publication and pay--even piddly little things that you wrote for yourself, or for your friends, etc.--was "undercutting" the real writers. (When I asked him how we could possibly be "undercutting" him when, hello, we weren't taking any money for our paltry, trollish words written solely for pleasure, he had no answer for me.)
Well, I hope that someday I will be a published writer. It would be nice to get paid for it and actually make a living doing something that gives me so much joy (OMG NO!) but I know that's a long shot. I would be content with very little pay. (I will possibly, if all goes well, be a doctor in about four years; hopefully that will at least begin to cover some bills I will incur from going back to school.) I would be overjoyed if someone was ever inspired enough by my work that they wanted to jump into it; that they wanted to play along with me. That they loved it enough to wish to be a part of it. Heck, I'd even love the fanboys (and girls. Oddly this guy seems to think everyone who writes or enjoys fanfiction is a boy.)
My other sincere hope is that I never, ever do anything solely for money, no matter how desperate--or how rich--I ever get.
But more, I would hope that getting paid to write would never, in any reality, turn me into someone who thought it was acceptable to call rude names to people who did nothing to me but have a different view on what constitutes "joy." I hope very much that I never become the kind of person who paints everyone with a broad and ugly brush and makes personal attacks just because they do some harmless bit decent of writing. (I always do defend The Sacred Gates of Aptitude: If you suck and you put your work out there, I call it like I see it. This does not, however, mean that you should not be allowed to write your crap.) I hope that I never, ever shoot someone down for daring to create something only for themselves, to be kept private or among friends, because they wanted to, because it gave them joy.
But I have in me such a streak of bitchiness that, from here on in, I will take a really satisfying pleasure in knowing that everytime I write something for myself, with no intent to publish or get paid--hell, everytime I write a blog entry on my journal, or a piece of work for my friend, or my grocery list--that somewhere out there, some "professional" "writer" is agonizing over being "undercut."
Because I'm kinda a bitch like that, I'm actually really glad to know that. ^_^
In which my mind is made up.
In yet other news. Last night on this blog where I hang out, some anonymous folks were getting on my case for wanting to go back to school. They told me I was too old to go back, and that it would never work out because just last week I was saying I wanted to be a teacher, and now all of a sudden this, and Oh Woe, there is no way in which a person can change her mind so drastically and still be serious! I should stop pretending and just give it all up!
Teaching was a really, really easy decision to latch onto. It's true that just last week I was sitting there going, "But teaching would be so easy. 18 months. The college is right around the corner. Lots of time off." A big part of me still wishes to teach English. But then again, a big part of me still wants to bust down a door and charge into a room yelling "FEDERAL AGENT, DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" It is, to this day, really hard for me to square with the fact that I can't do everything. There's not enough time or money.
I do have those fantasies, like, about being like Dana Scully, or JK Rowling, or a sleek warrior like Michelle Yeoh with unbeatable Kung Fu skills. Those are fantasies. Going back to school to earn another degree and hopefully a doctorate so that I can practice medicine, that is not so far fetched.
A few minutes ago I got an email from one of my older training sisters; you guys saw her recently as the Lady Chrysanthemum. :) She said to me,
"Dear Jules,
I just wanted to tell you again how right your decision to go for a D.O. feels to me. I hope it works out exactly has you hope and I think the world will be lucky to have you in that capacity.
A side effect of your announcing your intentions was to show (Sije Empress Teishi / The Peach) that when one door closes it's possible to open another. I think you are and will be an inspiration to her and I think that knowledge is a major thing for her to tuck away whether she follows in your footsteps or not."
(That is huge to me, because you guys all know how I treasure these people.)
Even when I have my doubts--and I will have them--I will remind myself of those things. I seem really independent-minded and I am, but sincere outside opinions, logical reasons, as well as gut feelings, do mean a lot to me. I value them.
Recently, I have been told that a lot of my decisions and the things that I loved were wrong, and that I should stop. Stop writing for joy, stop speaking out about what I believe in, stop making huge decisions. Yet no one who said any of those things to me has ever offered any logic; just vitriol, knee-jerk reactions and hyperbole. It's good to be made to think, and I appreciate that, but in the end they are, and will remain, wrong.
So here is my schedule for this week:
Tomorrow: Finish shopping. Later, Kung Fu.
Tuesday: Mind the Boychild
Wednesday: Leathermouth / Reggie concert in Nassau
Thursday: Mind the Boychild. Get all birds and supplies ready.
Friday: Drop the birds off to Laura. Pack all my stuff. Get all dogs' stuff ready.
Saturday: Drop dogs off for boarding. Swing by Lao Shir's house for BBQ. Family party that night.
Sunday: Clean entire effing house top to bottom. Shampoo the rugs.
Monday: Fly to Florida.
Yikes.
In which I put the smack down to no avail.
So check this out. Yesterday on a sci-fi/fantasy fiction community for writers, someone asked for some debates on fanfiction. I expected the usual debates re: merit, skill, is it a waste of talent, how do authors feel about it, etc. Instead, this one guy, someone who claims to get paid for writing, flipped his crap. He said that fanfic writers were wankers, choads, trolls, fanboys, thieves, etc. I mean, the list went on and on and got more and more vitriolic as I kept shooting him down with logic. At first he said it was "mental masturbation" and his reasoning was that it was because it was done for one's own pleasure and that "no one else enjoys it." I pointed out that lots of people actually enjoyed it. He said that writing for any other reason than to be published and paid was "narcissistic." That there was no real joy in writing, or that if there was that was somehow wrong: that the real joy was the paycheck. I pointed out that finding joy in doing something harmless from oneself which resulted in neither pay nor praise was far from "narcissistic." He said it was wrong for amateurs to write for the hell of it, because it was, to him, synonymous with ten year olds practicing as doctors for the hell of it. I pointed out the lack of logic there: Doctors often have your life in their hands. Writers, not so much. And during all of this, even while he was spewing hate and calling names, I--surprisingly--kept the gloves on.
Finally he exploded in wank and said that all those trolls and losers who wrote things that they never meant for publication and pay--even piddly little things that you wrote for yourself, or for your friends, etc.--was "undercutting" the real writers. (When I asked him how we could possibly be "undercutting" him when, hello, we weren't taking any money for our paltry, trollish words written solely for pleasure, he had no answer for me.)
Well, I hope that someday I will be a published writer. It would be nice to get paid for it and actually make a living doing something that gives me so much joy (OMG NO!) but I know that's a long shot. I would be content with very little pay. (I will possibly, if all goes well, be a doctor in about four years; hopefully that will at least begin to cover some bills I will incur from going back to school.) I would be overjoyed if someone was ever inspired enough by my work that they wanted to jump into it; that they wanted to play along with me. That they loved it enough to wish to be a part of it. Heck, I'd even love the fanboys (and girls. Oddly this guy seems to think everyone who writes or enjoys fanfiction is a boy.)
My other sincere hope is that I never, ever do anything solely for money, no matter how desperate--or how rich--I ever get.
But more, I would hope that getting paid to write would never, in any reality, turn me into someone who thought it was acceptable to call rude names to people who did nothing to me but have a different view on what constitutes "joy." I hope very much that I never become the kind of person who paints everyone with a broad and ugly brush and makes personal attacks just because they do some harmless bit decent of writing. (I always do defend The Sacred Gates of Aptitude: If you suck and you put your work out there, I call it like I see it. This does not, however, mean that you should not be allowed to write your crap.) I hope that I never, ever shoot someone down for daring to create something only for themselves, to be kept private or among friends, because they wanted to, because it gave them joy.
But I have in me such a streak of bitchiness that, from here on in, I will take a really satisfying pleasure in knowing that everytime I write something for myself, with no intent to publish or get paid--hell, everytime I write a blog entry on my journal, or a piece of work for my friend, or my grocery list--that somewhere out there, some "professional" "writer" is agonizing over being "undercut."
Because I'm kinda a bitch like that, I'm actually really glad to know that. ^_^
In which my mind is made up.
In yet other news. Last night on this blog where I hang out, some anonymous folks were getting on my case for wanting to go back to school. They told me I was too old to go back, and that it would never work out because just last week I was saying I wanted to be a teacher, and now all of a sudden this, and Oh Woe, there is no way in which a person can change her mind so drastically and still be serious! I should stop pretending and just give it all up!
Teaching was a really, really easy decision to latch onto. It's true that just last week I was sitting there going, "But teaching would be so easy. 18 months. The college is right around the corner. Lots of time off." A big part of me still wishes to teach English. But then again, a big part of me still wants to bust down a door and charge into a room yelling "FEDERAL AGENT, DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" It is, to this day, really hard for me to square with the fact that I can't do everything. There's not enough time or money.
I do have those fantasies, like, about being like Dana Scully, or JK Rowling, or a sleek warrior like Michelle Yeoh with unbeatable Kung Fu skills. Those are fantasies. Going back to school to earn another degree and hopefully a doctorate so that I can practice medicine, that is not so far fetched.
A few minutes ago I got an email from one of my older training sisters; you guys saw her recently as the Lady Chrysanthemum. :) She said to me,
"Dear Jules,
I just wanted to tell you again how right your decision to go for a D.O. feels to me. I hope it works out exactly has you hope and I think the world will be lucky to have you in that capacity.
A side effect of your announcing your intentions was to show (Sije Empress Teishi / The Peach) that when one door closes it's possible to open another. I think you are and will be an inspiration to her and I think that knowledge is a major thing for her to tuck away whether she follows in your footsteps or not."
(That is huge to me, because you guys all know how I treasure these people.)
Even when I have my doubts--and I will have them--I will remind myself of those things. I seem really independent-minded and I am, but sincere outside opinions, logical reasons, as well as gut feelings, do mean a lot to me. I value them.
Recently, I have been told that a lot of my decisions and the things that I loved were wrong, and that I should stop. Stop writing for joy, stop speaking out about what I believe in, stop making huge decisions. Yet no one who said any of those things to me has ever offered any logic; just vitriol, knee-jerk reactions and hyperbole. It's good to be made to think, and I appreciate that, but in the end they are, and will remain, wrong.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:27 pm (UTC)2. what the hell kind of fool tells anyone they are too old to go back to school, and someone under 40 at that? man, they must be skurred in their own lives. for me, i might go back yet again if i actually had my mind set on anything i wanted to do. ;p
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:53 pm (UTC)Well, you know, I don't have my mind set and I might not ever. But I am really, ridiculously excited, and this feels right. But then, it took me years--and getting unfairly fired--to get me on this path. I hope you will eventually go back and do as you please. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-08 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-08 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-08 01:45 am (UTC)Though right now when I'm 45 mins over and this chat is making my head spin, I'm not quite as enthusiastic. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:32 pm (UTC)"That there was no real joy in writing"
that is sad. why should talent (if he has it) be wasted on such a miserable person? i'll take terry pratchett's perspective: "writing is the most fun you can have by yourself."
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:54 pm (UTC)Sure, okay, that's fine for him if he doesn't take any joy in it and just wants the money. Hey, sucks to be him but whatever. But this guy's view was that writing for joy was wrong and was "undercutting" him.
OMG, honestly.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 09:42 pm (UTC)Haha, get them to tell that to the old man I bumped into at university, who was part-way through an arts degree of some sort.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 10:23 pm (UTC)And the fanfic dude is just so very, very sad. To think that joy should not be a part of one's work is depressing. The luckiest people in the world are those who can do what they love and get paid for it. Bastards. ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-07 11:24 pm (UTC)I'm glad to know that you still hang there, too. Once in a while something kinda cool will happen. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2008-09-09 02:49 pm (UTC)Also:
He said that writing for any other reason than to be published and paid was "narcissistic." That there was no real joy in writing, or that if there was that was somehow wrong: that the real joy was the paycheck.
What the HELL. How did he get into it then, and how do we get him out? Because the world does not need joyless writers, I'm telling you. Wow.
See you around the blogosphere! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-09 05:03 pm (UTC)She is a mean, narrow, self-righteous, destructive person who is standing on the border to great power, and that makes me so sad and scared.