Tomorrow, some sad thoughts, and "some people" WTFery

Gran is coming home tomorrow, which in a way is very joyful, but is also a constant reminder of "lasts." I don't handle "lasts" very well. Every few minutes I think of yet another thing that is no longer going to happen. No more Sunday Home Depot runs with Grandma to pick out flowers for her garden. For some reason, that one is the hardest for me. I can't stop thinking about it. I won't get to pick out a birthday or christmas gift for her. Things like that.

There's a space cleared out for her new bed, and the hospice people are supposedly very helpful and very nice. It will be so much easier for my Mom, who has spent most of last week at the hospital.

Gran is alternately happy and content in the day, and depressed and violent at night. She's a "sundowner," that's what they call them. Even when she's happy, she's still not herself though. Well, once in a while she is, but she's so different to what she was even last week.

The doctors said that she could live another two or three months, but everyone who knows her seems to think that's very generous. So, I have to call the coordinator of the China trip and tell her that I'm not going this time, and try to get the money back. (I think they refund all but the down payment.) It's like everyone is telling me: China will still be there in a few months, but my Grandma probably won't.

I'm sorry this is such a sad post. I keep this blog mostly as a future reminder for myself: "This is where I was on this day. This is what was going on, this is what the weather was like, this is what I was thinking about." But I realize that it's also entirely public. If I had a problem with that, I would make it totally private. I usually don't have a problem with it.

What I do have a problem with is random people showing up and I don't know who the hell they are, and they act in a way that I find just socially wrong. There are some other things going on in my life that I would write about, but they are insignificant compared with the prospect of losing my Grandma, and I was really more than irritated with a few people who commented last time: I mean it was really galling. If you're going to read the post, fine, if you're going to comment, that's also fine. If you're not going to comment, hey, that's fine, too. Sometimes people don't know what to say. Sometimes people skim their f-list. Sometimes other things come up and they just don't have time. That's cool because this is fortunately not my support network in rough times.

But to comment on one stupid, insignificant little annoyance I mentioned and not even spare a word, a single stupid thought about the rest of it? Seriously, people? I mean, seriously?

And who the hell is Coffeerama? Does anyone know? Because they randomly showed up on that post, babbled about Macs and then buggered off. WTF?

Tomorrow, some sad thoughts, and "some people" WTFery

Gran is coming home tomorrow, which in a way is very joyful, but is also a constant reminder of "lasts." I don't handle "lasts" very well. Every few minutes I think of yet another thing that is no longer going to happen. No more Sunday Home Depot runs with Grandma to pick out flowers for her garden. For some reason, that one is the hardest for me. I can't stop thinking about it. I won't get to pick out a birthday or christmas gift for her. Things like that.

There's a space cleared out for her new bed, and the hospice people are supposedly very helpful and very nice. It will be so much easier for my Mom, who has spent most of last week at the hospital.

Gran is alternately happy and content in the day, and depressed and violent at night. She's a "sundowner," that's what they call them. Even when she's happy, she's still not herself though. Well, once in a while she is, but she's so different to what she was even last week.

The doctors said that she could live another two or three months, but everyone who knows her seems to think that's very generous. So, I have to call the coordinator of the China trip and tell her that I'm not going this time, and try to get the money back. (I think they refund all but the down payment.) It's like everyone is telling me: China will still be there in a few months, but my Grandma probably won't.

I'm sorry this is such a sad post. I keep this blog mostly as a future reminder for myself: "This is where I was on this day. This is what was going on, this is what the weather was like, this is what I was thinking about." But I realize that it's also entirely public. If I had a problem with that, I would make it totally private. I usually don't have a problem with it.

What I do have a problem with is random people showing up and I don't know who the hell they are, and they act in a way that I find just socially wrong. There are some other things going on in my life that I would write about, but they are insignificant compared with the prospect of losing my Grandma, and I was really more than irritated with a few people who commented last time: I mean it was really galling. If you're going to read the post, fine, if you're going to comment, that's also fine. If you're not going to comment, hey, that's fine, too. Sometimes people don't know what to say. Sometimes people skim their f-list. Sometimes other things come up and they just don't have time. That's cool because this is fortunately not my support network in rough times.

But to comment on one stupid, insignificant little annoyance I mentioned and not even spare a word, a single stupid thought about the rest of it? Seriously, people? I mean, seriously?

And who the hell is Coffeerama? Does anyone know? Because they randomly showed up on that post, babbled about Macs and then buggered off. WTF?