On Stranger Tides

[la_belle_laide]

Just saw Pirates with bestie Glassworker friend tonight (actually, last night.) I am so happy that it lived up to my expectations. We both agreed that it was so much better than Pirates 2 and 3, which we thought devolved Jack's character way too much. My problem with POTC2 was that Jack had this really cool character arc in POTC1, where the idea of it was that he was a pirate and a good man, and in POTC2 he went right back to being a not-so-good man up until the end. I was like, "Didn't we already see his change?"

And then POTC3 was just like WHAAAAT. The only thing that really redeemed it for me was Barbossa, because he's such a boss, and I totally love him.

Okay, here are my thoughts on On Stranger Tides. First I need to get out of the way that I hate 3D and am going to try my damndest never to watch anything in 3D again. It does nothing but hurt my eyes and my head. Also, 3D for this film was pointless. Nothing came out at me ffs. It just made everything look dark and bleary. Also, it was fifteen mothergrabbing dollars a ticket. WHAT. 3D – totally unnecessary.

Now, to the actual movie!


First, what I didn't like: what the eff was the whole point with the religious guy and the mermaid? JFC. It's not the first time that POTC has brought religion on board. It was way too distracting and irritating. The Nice Guy ™ didn't have to be a Christian, he could have just been a nice guy. What was even the point of him?

Only one good thing came out of that, and it was Jack's line about "I agree with the missionary's position." I laughed for quite a while after that line. I was the only one in the theater who did, though. O_O

Anyway, they could have cut that back a lot and actually, could have cut the whole mermaid thing back a lot.

That said, the badass mermaids were EFFING AWESOME.

This movie also made me remember why I loved Jack Sparrow in the first place. He was all kinds of daring and crazy and fighty, but without being foolish and making bad decisions like he did in the second two films. My best Jack Sparrow moment was when Barbossa first tells him that he lost the Pearl, and Jack loses his crap and jumps over the table to attack him. Jack was a total badass in this film and this played directly to my OTP, which has always been Jack/Pearl. :)

I liked Penelope Cruz in this too. It seemed like she had a lot of fun, and she didn't feel tacked on. She didn't feel like "Look what a chick can accomplish if she tries real hard!" which is a feeling I get from a lot of action films with women in prominent roles. No sly jokes were made about her being pretty tough For A Girl. She was just pretty tough in general.

I also loved the fact that even though she and Jack had a history, it wasn't a pleasant, simpering, happy, floofy true-love one. And I was so pleased how at the end, they not only skirted what could have been a romantic moment – but in fact they parodied the hell out of it, and maybe even out of the kiss at the end of POTC1. And then Jack leaves with the Pearl instead (after a fashion.)

I effing loved the ships. The Queen Anne's Revenge rocked my socks, it looked so hardcore. I did really wish to see the Pearl, but after that ship, the Revenge is my favorite. And Barbossa being slimy and crazy and eye-rolly, and turning back into a pirate at the end and getting his awesome hat back, OMG. The hat made me happy. :) Barbossa/hat.

Oh, and Blackbeard was so cool. Ian McShane made him just malevolent enough, without being too over the top. He had this subtle menace that I really liked. I don't think I've seen him in anything else, but now I'd like to.

Random thoughts:

How the frigging hell did Jack get to the top of that palm tree? I could suspend my disbelief for everything else because it occurred in the world of the supernatural, but come on, how'd he get over the palms at the top? Honestly.

I think that Jack's father is actually dead.

I totally didn't miss Will and Elizabeth, tbh, and I was so glad to see Greg Ellis back as Groves. He had, what, two lines in the first movie? "Come about" and "that's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen." I actually really liked his delivery of both those lines in the first movie, and he had more to say and do in this one, so I was pretty happy. :)

The part where Jack starts narrating about Ponce de Leon and then says, "Oh, no one's there" cracked me up and was maybe my second favorite line.

The music was really cool, as usual.

I was glad they cut back on the endless ship battles, because those got real old in the second and third ones.

This movie could have been a hair shorter, like maybe 30 minutes. They could have cut Religious Guy/Mermaid totally out and I would have been cool with it.

I love Jack's new-ish look, with the lighter hair and the scar.

OMFG THAT WAS JUDI DENCH, WTF. Okay, that one part was pretty hot, and not in that "Oh, that's because it's Johnny Depp" kind of way, because in general, Johnny Depp doesn't get me going in terms of "OMG HOT." That was just all Jack Sparrow. That's not to say I don't think he's fabulous, because I do.

I like staying after the credits to see the little extra thing. And as usual, it kinda left it open to sequels, but please, don't suck!

I wanted every single tropical plant I saw.



Anyway, that's about it for that. It was super fun and much better than the 2 sequels, though not as awesome as the first one, which I still love with all my flaily fangirlishness.

I wish to own this DVD when it comes out, and I might actually like to see it again, only not in 3D, so that I could actually see it.

Comments

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

NO, that was Groves? I don't want that to be him, because I laughed at that part! It was a really stupid death!

You know what's funny, I have met, like, one internet friend in a few years, and it also was through fandom, and on LJ. And now that you mention it, I'm realizing that almost all of my internet friendships have been through fandom LJs.

You know, I still remember your POTC writings. I actually remember when I read them and feeling that, "Oh, she is good" warm fuzziness that came with it. And then we started chatting about it, and Bob's your uncle. Eternal love for Jack! ^_^

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

This new film ALMOST makes me want to write fic again. Like, maybe to write some of the scenes we know happened but weren't shown, like Blackbeard turning his boatswain into a zombi, or Jack leaving Angelica the 1st time, or BARBOSSA DECIDING TO HACK OFF HIS OWN LEG.

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

MTE, even as I was watching him tell that story I was like, "OMG, fic needs to fill this in, Barbossa is such a BOSS."