On Stranger Tides

[la_belle_laide]

Just saw Pirates with bestie Glassworker friend tonight (actually, last night.) I am so happy that it lived up to my expectations. We both agreed that it was so much better than Pirates 2 and 3, which we thought devolved Jack's character way too much. My problem with POTC2 was that Jack had this really cool character arc in POTC1, where the idea of it was that he was a pirate and a good man, and in POTC2 he went right back to being a not-so-good man up until the end. I was like, "Didn't we already see his change?"

And then POTC3 was just like WHAAAAT. The only thing that really redeemed it for me was Barbossa, because he's such a boss, and I totally love him.

Okay, here are my thoughts on On Stranger Tides. First I need to get out of the way that I hate 3D and am going to try my damndest never to watch anything in 3D again. It does nothing but hurt my eyes and my head. Also, 3D for this film was pointless. Nothing came out at me ffs. It just made everything look dark and bleary. Also, it was fifteen mothergrabbing dollars a ticket. WHAT. 3D – totally unnecessary.

Now, to the actual movie!


First, what I didn't like: what the eff was the whole point with the religious guy and the mermaid? JFC. It's not the first time that POTC has brought religion on board. It was way too distracting and irritating. The Nice Guy ™ didn't have to be a Christian, he could have just been a nice guy. What was even the point of him?

Only one good thing came out of that, and it was Jack's line about "I agree with the missionary's position." I laughed for quite a while after that line. I was the only one in the theater who did, though. O_O

Anyway, they could have cut that back a lot and actually, could have cut the whole mermaid thing back a lot.

That said, the badass mermaids were EFFING AWESOME.

This movie also made me remember why I loved Jack Sparrow in the first place. He was all kinds of daring and crazy and fighty, but without being foolish and making bad decisions like he did in the second two films. My best Jack Sparrow moment was when Barbossa first tells him that he lost the Pearl, and Jack loses his crap and jumps over the table to attack him. Jack was a total badass in this film and this played directly to my OTP, which has always been Jack/Pearl. :)

I liked Penelope Cruz in this too. It seemed like she had a lot of fun, and she didn't feel tacked on. She didn't feel like "Look what a chick can accomplish if she tries real hard!" which is a feeling I get from a lot of action films with women in prominent roles. No sly jokes were made about her being pretty tough For A Girl. She was just pretty tough in general.

I also loved the fact that even though she and Jack had a history, it wasn't a pleasant, simpering, happy, floofy true-love one. And I was so pleased how at the end, they not only skirted what could have been a romantic moment – but in fact they parodied the hell out of it, and maybe even out of the kiss at the end of POTC1. And then Jack leaves with the Pearl instead (after a fashion.)

I effing loved the ships. The Queen Anne's Revenge rocked my socks, it looked so hardcore. I did really wish to see the Pearl, but after that ship, the Revenge is my favorite. And Barbossa being slimy and crazy and eye-rolly, and turning back into a pirate at the end and getting his awesome hat back, OMG. The hat made me happy. :) Barbossa/hat.

Oh, and Blackbeard was so cool. Ian McShane made him just malevolent enough, without being too over the top. He had this subtle menace that I really liked. I don't think I've seen him in anything else, but now I'd like to.

Random thoughts:

How the frigging hell did Jack get to the top of that palm tree? I could suspend my disbelief for everything else because it occurred in the world of the supernatural, but come on, how'd he get over the palms at the top? Honestly.

I think that Jack's father is actually dead.

I totally didn't miss Will and Elizabeth, tbh, and I was so glad to see Greg Ellis back as Groves. He had, what, two lines in the first movie? "Come about" and "that's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen." I actually really liked his delivery of both those lines in the first movie, and he had more to say and do in this one, so I was pretty happy. :)

The part where Jack starts narrating about Ponce de Leon and then says, "Oh, no one's there" cracked me up and was maybe my second favorite line.

The music was really cool, as usual.

I was glad they cut back on the endless ship battles, because those got real old in the second and third ones.

This movie could have been a hair shorter, like maybe 30 minutes. They could have cut Religious Guy/Mermaid totally out and I would have been cool with it.

I love Jack's new-ish look, with the lighter hair and the scar.

OMFG THAT WAS JUDI DENCH, WTF. Okay, that one part was pretty hot, and not in that "Oh, that's because it's Johnny Depp" kind of way, because in general, Johnny Depp doesn't get me going in terms of "OMG HOT." That was just all Jack Sparrow. That's not to say I don't think he's fabulous, because I do.

I like staying after the credits to see the little extra thing. And as usual, it kinda left it open to sequels, but please, don't suck!

I wanted every single tropical plant I saw.



Anyway, that's about it for that. It was super fun and much better than the 2 sequels, though not as awesome as the first one, which I still love with all my flaily fangirlishness.

I wish to own this DVD when it comes out, and I might actually like to see it again, only not in 3D, so that I could actually see it.

Comments

[vamp-seamstress.livejournal.com]

I'm perplexed that so many people I know think this movie is second only to the first Pirates film, when I thought it was the weakest of the four by far. Perhaps I missed something. I shall have to see it again!

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you posted about this, because I have been wanting to nerd out about this film forever (okay fine, since I saw it a week ago) with someone who gets it like you do.

Random responses in general:

I totally agree about the religious guy and the mermaid, and the mermaids in general, and the lauging about the missionary's position. I was also the only person in my theater laughed, and I just thought, I can't be the only person in this theater gets that joke, can I?

I actually had this whole theory worked out where the Spanish were like the armies of Fortinbras in Hamlet, marching around in the background and present and scary, and showing up at the end to point out the futility of the quest.

I'm totally with you about Penelope Cruz's character, I lovedthat she was just flat out bad ass and ominous in her own right, and absolutely none of that “for a girl” crap. Her whole existence actually makes me rethink all of Gibbs' sexist BS in the prior films about a woman on board being bad luck, since I could see how Angelica might have engendered that feeling in him.

The Revenge totally wins! I really loved it too! Of course, it is “our” ship down here in North Carolina, since they found it sunk off our coast and have been excavating it from the seafloor for as long as I've lived here and longer. So I was already predisposed to love it, it's like cheering for the home team, but it did not let me down. In fact, I have to admit that I hope this film contributes to tourism on our coast, for folks to come check out the parts of the real Queen Anne's Revenge in our Maritime Museum. (I remember in one chunk of artifacts they brought up from the sea floor, they found the remains of a leg with the shoe still on.)

I think this has to move on to a second comment for the sake of its length.

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

Ian McShane, love him. For me, he was the character I loved to hate in Deadwood. Though he was also quite good in the miniseries Kings.

Your theory about Jack's dad is a good one, and I'll be interested to see if they ever address that possibility in the future.

I didn't miss Will and Elizabeth either, in fact I was glad they didn't try to shoehorn them into this film. Their story arcs are done. I actually would say they were done at the end of the first film, in fact.

I was glad to see Groves in this one as well, and also Gillette, but I was sad that they got killed at the end. They were my last tenuous connection to the James Norrington of the first film.

You know, that is one of the things I think makes Jack Sparrow such a compelling character to me, is that we are allowed to see him in these very dorky moments that everyone has experienced. He's not the sort of iconic matinee idol who always behaves with the ultimate coolness and suavity. Because everyone on earth has had that experience, of sitting there telling some story to someone you thought was listening, and you turn around and you're just talking to the air. I laughed so hard at that too.

Can I just say that I was excited about the fact that Judi Dench's character was someone that Jack's first thought was a seduction ruse? The character could have been someone of any age, and I think within the context of the film, Jack would've behaved the same way, but in the context of a Hollywood movie, I find it gratifying that a character played by a “sex symbol” like Johnny Depp is scripted to make any kind of sexual overture to an older woman. Older women are always presented as sexless, invisible, unattractive, disgusting, beneath the erotic notice of any man of any age, and though I realize the goal in the scene was to deceive her and steal her earring, there are a dozen ways to do that that would've maintained her marginalization, and it was fun to see it play out like it did.

I'm with you, I totally hate 3-D. I actually specifically sought out a cinema that was showing it in normal-vision, because I don't like watching a film in 3-D, even if it does have “jump out of the screen” moments. It gives me a headache.

I might have to go see it again, and maybe again. At least one more time in the big screen, and I am totally buying this DVD.

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

*Scream* I saw your review but I hadn't read it at the time, because I hadn't seen the movies yet. I just read it a few hours ago.

YES, I love how we thought mostly the same things. I also need to acknowledge POTC and my own soft spot for it because it was through Pirates that i met you!

A good point about the Spanish, because I was kind of like, "What has this got to do with anything?" aside from to add tension to that last scene with the fountain.

I had no idea about the Queen Anne's REvenge! That's cool. Barbossa is the captain of your ship. That rules. :)

IA also about the scene with Judi Dench. It's heartening when older women are portrayed with sexuality. Which is why I love Helen Mirren, by the way, because she just owns it totally. In fact there's some movie floating around (not worth watching, methinks) with Joseph Gordon Levitt and Helen Mirren, and they have a brief kiss, which is like the hottest kiss I've ever seen, OMG.

Anyway.

Groves and Gilette got killed?! I missed that part! It was probably during one of the moments when I had to take the glasses off and rub my eyes (which happened a lot.) OH NO. Did they at least get a good send-off? Because I didn't see a thing!

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

They both died in the battle with the Spanish at the fountain of youth. Gillette got shot by some Spaniard in the melee, and I thought Groves was the dude who leapt up with the British flag and screams, “I claim this in the name of the British Crown,” or whatever and then get shot, and the head Spaniard dude said something about someone making a note of that man's bravery. Which, I thought was a completely out of character and stupid death for him, so maybe I'm mistaken and he didn't die there?

Also, yes, I am eternally grateful that we both nerded out about Pirates1 in the same way such that we met each other! You know, I question whether that kind of serendipitous interest-based friendship develops nearly as frequently now that social media have become so homogenous. No one is meeting people on Facebook because, what? They follow the same interest pages? No meaningful lengthy interactions can happen there. People don't take the time to write the kind of quantity of thoughtful text that I think needs to happen to cultivate a friendship. There is one other person that I met through the PO TC communities that I have remained close friends with ever since.

Big <3 on so many levels for these films. Except the shitty ones, obv. :D

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

NO, that was Groves? I don't want that to be him, because I laughed at that part! It was a really stupid death!

You know what's funny, I have met, like, one internet friend in a few years, and it also was through fandom, and on LJ. And now that you mention it, I'm realizing that almost all of my internet friendships have been through fandom LJs.

You know, I still remember your POTC writings. I actually remember when I read them and feeling that, "Oh, she is good" warm fuzziness that came with it. And then we started chatting about it, and Bob's your uncle. Eternal love for Jack! ^_^

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

This new film ALMOST makes me want to write fic again. Like, maybe to write some of the scenes we know happened but weren't shown, like Blackbeard turning his boatswain into a zombi, or Jack leaving Angelica the 1st time, or BARBOSSA DECIDING TO HACK OFF HIS OWN LEG.

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

MTE, even as I was watching him tell that story I was like, "OMG, fic needs to fill this in, Barbossa is such a BOSS."

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

Also omg maybe the leg they found in the wreck is BARBOSSA'S.

J/K.