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la_belle_laideThere's been a lot on my mind lately, both in my little life here and in the great big world, too.
First, a few days ago, the story broke about eighteen men raping an eleven year old girl. As if that wasn't rotten enough at the core, this article about it quotes townspeople blatantly blaming the eleven year old girl for "drawing these young men" into raping her. They blame her mother for not watching her (but not her father.) And they show sympathy toward the rapists, moaning how their lives will never be the same.
Their lives?
The reporter not only does not refute this, but he feeds into it.
There is a petition you can sign to ask this reporter to apologize for his victim-blaming stance. I signed it, and I wrote him a personal email too. This was what I wrote:
“Having read your article, I realize that in much of it, you were quoting the people of the town in their thoughtless, misogynistic and narrow views.
This still does nothing to change the fact that you never seem to refute any of their hate. A quote from you reads: “how could their young men have been drawn into such an act?”
Wait. So these rapists were “drawn into the act” of rape? How can a man be “drawn into” raping someone? Did the girl draw them in? If not, then who, or what? How is that even a question? These men acted of their own volition. They raped a child, and then raped her again, and again. “Drawn into?” Really?
You couldn’t have changed the abusive, victim-blaming words of the townspeople in your article, because you were quoting them. However, you could have pointed out the blatant victim-blaming, so that perhaps the people who said those things would see their words for what they were.
Instead, you took the same road that they did, implying that these men had been “drawn into” rape and playing into the older-than-time, deep-seated belief that rape is a woman’s fault, and the rapist is the victim.
I signed the petition to ask you for something formal, explaining yourself and/or apologizing to the victim, to women in general. But I felt I needed to address this more specifically. I hope you can understand."
I can't even begin to figure what's going on in the last few months with all this misogyny. If they're not trying to redefine rape (REDEFINE RAPE. READ THOSE WORDS.) then they're pulling funding from Planned Parenthood and trying to pass a bill that would hold a woman responsible if she miscarries. These all came down within about two weeks of each other. I can't even lie, it's got me terrified and ready to fight.
A handful of you may or may not know, I sometimes go chat at a blog called Verita Venom, which started out years ago as a protest to the change in attitude of a band a bunch of us used to like, My Chemical Romance. Years ago, they espoused equality and women's rights (or said they did – recently they admitted that was just "a gimmick.) The blog has more or less turned into a bunch of people chatting about movies and making fun of idiotic D list rock stars and their stupidities. But tonight, I read that the lead squawker of My Chemical Romance changed his Twitter bio to read "Not afraid to call a 16 year old girl a c*** or a sh*tbag. Give me a reason."
Really? This from the dude hooking up with Mindless Self Indulgence, another rape-positive band ("Five Year Old Panty Shot," their biggest hit) I guess it's not surprising. In this current atmosphere, I guess it's a safe bet for him to be all "hurr hurr girls are nothing more than c***" because, let's face it, the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of the world have been getting away with it, and the people who are pushing those bills to have women more or less criminalized have the same agenda.
I mean, what? Does it make your dick feel big that you're not afraid to call a little girl a vile, sexualized name?
Then, similarly, we go onto Charlie Sheen, who is so filled with hate and fear of women that it's turning him inside out. And you know what, I have no pity for him. I know a lot of people who are like "Oh, he's going through a manic episode, he needs help." Eff him. Eff him directly in the throat with a jackhammer. I've known people who were ill and in need of help. This is no excuse to be so thoroughly brimming with loathing. You can be out of your mind and still not be an epic dickwhistle. It has happened. It was the same thing with Mel Gibson. "Oh – he was drunk. He has a disease." Yeah, and? I know plenty of people who share the same disease but do NOT get off on hating women and minorities. The "disease" just brings out what's already inside of you.
That's how I see it anyway, and I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of people making excuses for these poor, abused, heel-crushed celebrities. And oh, those poor rapists, all eighteen of them, being "drawn into" raping a little girl because of how she dressed.
And then, today, Japan.
I can't even think straight about this. The second immensely powerful earthquake in as many years, devastating. It does amaze me that Haiti had a similar quake and lost hundreds of thousands more people, and the reason for that is probably twofold: the structure of the buildings, and the fast-acting help. Haiti lost more lives for the simple reason that Haiti is poor. I can't get that out of my mind.
I also can't get out of my mind the images of destruction coming out of Japan. Terrified people, and beautiful, beautiful Japan crumbling.
With that in mind: a list of web pages where you can help Japan. I stuck with good old Red Cross because, well, I know Red Cross and in all honesty? Because they're less God-y than, say, Salvation Army.
Today I saw a lot of "Japan is in my thoughts," and "I'm crying for Japan" and "I'm praying for Japan." Well, it's like Led Zeppelin said, crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. Well, okay, maybe it'll do you good, but let's be realistic, a donation, something tangible, is what's going to do Japan good. Jesus. That's not to say that those people aren't actually donating, too. They might be. I like to think they probably are. But honestly, it doesn't take a hell of a lot to go, "Gee, wizard in the sky, I hope Japan will eventually get over being crushed to dust. Umm, thanks."
Also? It doesn't take a lot to donate either.
What it does take a lot to do is, say, something like Jared Leto is doing in Haiti. He spent a ton of time down there recently, taking photographs for a book he's going to publish, proceeds going to Haiti. Good man. Strange man with strange tastes that I do not judge because, an' it harm none, whatever blows your skirt up – but good man, I believe.
Okay, and on my end? Here, in my little apartment and my little life?
Haku needs a third surgery on his leg and extensive rehab if he's ever going to even walk on it again. How this got so screwed up, I don't even know. Most dogs bounce right back from the first surgery like nothing ever happened. Haku, not so much. Total muscle contracture, suture reactions, random hematomas, two weeks in the hospital just for rehab so that they can even do the third surgery. I don't even know!
And Sano's platelets dropped again. He might have to go back on pred, which I'm dreading.
Also waiting on a good friend's biopsy results, and yet another (new) friend's father is gravely ill.
I've still managed to be in a fairly cheerful and optimistic mood, even if it doesn't seem like it. Outside of that, I have some neat things going on. I'm in a cool book critique thing. It looks promising. Heck, writing looks promising these days. HitRECord has been fun, there's a new collab I really like. The people there are consistently nice, creative, funny. I watched Inception the other day with previously referenced new friend and I was like, "Ha, Regular Joe is on my TV." :) Weather has been cold, but the snow and ice are gone.
Also, I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW MONDAY. It's at a holistic wellness center. Doesn't that sound like it might be right up my alley? I guess we'll find out.
Okay, so that's that. I'm not sorry for sounding so severe up there. Those things need to be said, and they need to be said forcefully, without holding back.
Also, someone please randomly send me $40,000. Thanks.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 08:23 am (UTC)It occurs to me that you actually knew me when I was still using, though you probably didn't know it until I admitted (anonymously at first) that I'd quit. I'd like to point out that even at my worst, I was never like that. People who make excuses like that for Charlie Sheen are conflating "addict" and "dickbag," and speaking as a former junkie, I take offense.
I agree with the rest of your post, too, but you probably knew that already.
(I haven't been on much for the last couple of weeks because I've been taking classes on how to be a professional vampire. I now know things like where the median cubital vein is (between the cephalic vein and the basilic vein), that green is for heparin, lavender is for EDTA, gray is for potassium oxalate and sodium fluoride, and so on. I've been following friends when I could, but I'm a little behind.)
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:31 pm (UTC)Re: vampire, wait, what? Sounds cool? ^_^;;
no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 04:16 am (UTC)I'm more or less with you on the pray for Japan thing. If FSM or whatever had really cared about Japan and was, you know, omnipotent, then shit wouldn't happen. (That applies everywhere else I guess.) What I do wish for (and is probably as pragmatically useless) is that the Japanese people will soldier on and pull together, and I have confidence that they will.
Oh, and another pragmatic tip is to pressure one's government to send more manpower help in the form of emergency, and search and rescue services.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:33 pm (UTC)I'm sure that they will rebuild and go on. That's just human nature.
Still, so heartbreaking.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 02:27 am (UTC)They all are. Anyone who takes rape and sexual molestation to be a joke. I wish very slow and painful deaths on all of them. yes, I just recently signed back into ff.net and followed you over to here...trying not to be creepy, sorry...As for Japan...
I agree that crying and praying isn't going to help those people, that they need monetary donations, food, clothing, shelter, water, etc... And it kills me that I don't have any money to give. I haven't heard of an area around here that is collecting non-perishables, but in time...
In the meantime, I've been doing more things to help out my own community, since I can't help over there. Not yet, at any rate.
Anyway, I left you a pm on ff.net gushing over your fic "Years Between" again. Because it's just so awesome.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 08:05 pm (UTC)I am in total agreement with you re: rape and molestation, and I'm very sorry you had to face that. There is NO excuse whatsoever for that level of hate or any level of misogyny. This is where I really separate from my other liberal friends, on the death penalty, Because not only do I support it, but I'd carry it out myself, given the chance. :/
(no subject)
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