Blather, rinse, repeat

I'm really bummed out about Pluto losing its planetary status. I mean, I'm almost taking it personally. I'm all for science making changes and moving forward and all, it's just that, you know, Pluto was my planet. Not only my ruling planet, but it has always been a favorite of mine. Deep, mysterious, powerful Pluto, planetary ruler of the 8th house and the underworld.

I'm dejected.

In other news, hey, check it out, Taking Back Sunday is headlining over 30 Seconds to Mars in that concert I'm going to. My friend I'm going with is really into TBS. I wonder if she would mind if I bounced for the TBS show, or at least some of it, to see if I can't go and catch 30STM at a little post-concert thingie. She really wants me to see them, though. But really, how often do I get to go to concerts and maybe say hello to my favorite band? Try never. I'll have to see how it all works out. The good news is that it means we can probably leave right after the show and maybe get back to LI at a time that's not completely ungodly. I guess we will just have to see where this adventure takes us.

In other fangirling news, I've just finished the part in Dirge of Cerberus where Rosso the Crimson is the boss battle. I don't know how this story ends, obviously, but ... how weird is it of me to be sort of into Vincent / Rosso? I swear she's got a thing for him. I'll bet it's out there.

In yet other news--I've said this before and I hope not to say it again--if anyone out there on my f-list has any racist tendencies, or culturist tendencies, or simply thinks it's all right to lump an entire nation or culture into one little paradigm, please just de-friend me and save me the trouble? I really do not want to read that crap. Like, ever.

ETA: Here's something weird, I think. Is it a bad thing that, when going through my "manage friends" list, I don't know who many of the people on there are, or where I met them? O_o It doesn't sound too nice, when I put it that way.

I love spooky physics because I'm looking for some kind of central power, a unification that I'm waiting for mathamaticians and scientists to find (because it doesn't even fit in my brain,) but unlike scientists, I want it to be sentient. I don't want to call it god or even a god because of the stupid and outdated Christian and Biblical implications that I regard with nothing but scorn.

In fact, it doesn't even have to be sentient; it doesn't even have to care. It can play dice for all I give a crap. All I really want to know is that there's something after physical life. I halfway don't even care what it is; I just don't want to end. I especially don't want to end having seen nothing but these four dimensions. String theory occasionally proposes that there are up to eleven dimensions. Most physicists agree that if you think you understand quantum, you're not getting it. Most even say that even if you can understand string theory mathamatically, you can't feel it intuitively. I want to see those other dimensions. I want to spend like another hundred years in these four dimensions--goodness knows that even that's not enough time to enjoy them, but we can't get too greedy, ow can we?--and then when I die, I want to experience all the others. Not only that, but I want to know that I'm experiencing them. I guess that's asking rather a lot, but there it is.

The real world as string theory and even spooky quantum physics describe it is all so complex that we can't fit it into our human brains. It only seems fair that maybe we can fit it all in once we are no longer confined to our human brains. This idea also seems to imply, at least to me, that there's something out there that can fit it all into its consciousness. Because before the Big Bang, what the hell was there? Something so small and dense that humans can't even imagine it. Even Time didn't exist. These are things that don't belong in our brains. We're too small. All I want to know is that outside of the insignificant and comparitively so infinitesimally small particles and impulses that make up the human consciousness, there is a place--there is room--for all of this to fit. It's too awesome to not be understood by something. If I had an ounce of Christian or Biblical sensibility in me, I might be inclined to call it heaven. I enjoy Buddhism, so maybe it would be more pleasing to me to think of it as Nirvana. To me, Nirvana would be existing in a state to not only experience and understand the physics of the incalculably minute.

Otherwise, what the hell is the point of everything?

Also, I just plain don't want to die, ever. Is that arrogant? If so, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm human, after all, and most of us are arrogant in our assumptions about life and what we'd like it to fork over to us. I think it's maybe less arrogant than believing that if I'm better than everyone else I will sit at the right side of some immeasurably more arrogant--not to mention wrathful and jealous--Supreme Being who likes to play favorites wiht those who suck up to Him.

What I'm saying is that I think it should all even out. What is any universe without balance? Or, as Douglas Adams once asked, why does the universe bother to exist? Maybe those weren't his exact words, but it was something close to that.

I hope this doesn't even hint at the phrase "looking for God in science" because like I said, I'm not looking for god. It's entirely possible that there is a force to understand all of this madness (to clarify: there should be, otherwise why does all of this madness bother to exist?) but my primary interest isn't in god, it's in myself. What it all boils down to is my completely childish desire to keep on having fun in this fantastic jumble of universes and dimensions. Sadly enough, that's exactly what it all is for me, too. It's fun.

And, I'm not going crazy or anything, I'm just superfly tired and basically rambling. But I was thinking about all of this as I was falling asleep and I wanted to remember it, so here it is, on my blog.

WTF, man? Dude, how much do I love this madcrazybeautiful planet?!

( Entire glowing ocean story behind the cut. )

The link on the sea creatures inexplicably luring fish to their death using glowing, red lights is pretty freaking awesome, too. "The discovery is odd, because scientists had figured deep-sea animals can't see red light, since they live where sunlight doesn't reach and therefore have no evolutionary reason to detect the color." O_o

Dang, I love it here.