Blather, rinse, repeat

In the last couple of days:

I got a PSP and started playing Final Fantasy Tactics. Not only is it mad hard to figure out (for me) and the fighting system is a little WTF, but it doesn't feel like Final Fantasy. What, does Squeenix just put games out and call them "Final Fantasy" now because they know the title sells? No matter. I got the PSP so that I could play Crisis Core on the plane to China. 'Cause I'm pretty sure a flight like that can only be described as "longass."

I got 100 on my herbs mid term.

I also started a project so goddamn geeky that even for me you'd be saying, "Holy damn. That's really geeky."

Haku has been on the mend (*knock on wood*) but then today he seems to have run eyeball-first into a branch. I heard him yipe when he was running around like a damn fool, and he came bounding back to me with his eye all closed and watery. It's still all closed and watery. Well, his follow-up appointment is tomorrow so I will have them take a look at it.

My Gran is really sick. She's got a pretty bad virus, but you know, that's not the worst of it. In the last month or so, her mental faculties have just gone into the basement. I don't want to go into too much detail, but it hasn't been pleasant. I know it's got to be worse for her. I think it can only be so frightening to be lost all the time. The other day she thought Grampa was still alive and she was calling him when she couldn't get up. (My Mom told me all of this.) When told that he had been gone for almost ten years now, well I can only imagine that it's like mourning all over again.

How difficult it is when because of all the pills she's on, her body has literally outlasted her mind. I don't know how else to put it. I've considered being worried for her, but the truth is that the worst is here, now. You don't get better from dementia. So instead I just feel so bad for her, because she can only be so confused, which has to be terrifying.

Well, in the end, all anyone can do is their best. I feel for my Mom, because she is getting the brunt of this. She's the one who cares for my Gran. Physically, I mean. She handles all the pills, insulin, doctors and daily care. I know it's exhausting. There's just really no good side to it.

Well, I have been doing lots of reading (and some studying!) and this geeky project of mine which has been tons of frustrating fun. Kung Fu has been superb, with some really tiring drills in basics, and then forms in black belt class. Sometimes I plateau with forms and then sometimes I get over it and just try to keep getting better. I hope that I do.

Next Wednesday is the meeting for the China Trip! I have so many questions I need to ask, not the least of which is what gadgets I can bring and what I will be able to use, and how. Perhaps that seems petty when going to the Shaolin Temple and you're thinking, "Like you're going to have time to listen to your iPod at all! Please!" Well, I probably won't have time in China, but I will have tons of time on the plane, and I also still like to keep a journal like I did in Hawai'i, all those many years ago.

Anyway I'm psyched. I will be nervous when it's time to go, but right now I'm just super excited.

Oh! And also, I got my parents the Wii Fit for their anniversary. They love it! I'm so glad. I went to their place to set it up for them and I took a shot at it, too. It's adorable and lots of fun. Very spooky, too! I got on the board and it was like, "Oh, you have a problem with your left leg!" OMG IT HAS BEEN WATCHING ME SINCE CHILDHOOD.

Well, that's my update. Quite a mixed freaking bag.

Watch FF13 Versus DKΣ3713 in Gaming  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

So!

What is more amazing: the achingly gorgeous graphics of the upcoming Final Fantasy game, or the fact that no matter how achingly gorgeous the graphics are, Squenix will never even come close to FFVIIin all its boxy pixelated glory?

Also, shouldn't they just rename "Final Fantasy" as "Gackt and Rinoa" already?

No, but seriously. Seriously.

I've been having these crazy dreams. And obviously they are related to my playing RE2 late into the evening just before bed. I may have mentioned that the game is really well done for its time, even though for me it is a few steps backwards. It is also mega-scary. At some parts, it comes close to Regenerator scary. Okay, not quite, but sort of. Two nights ago I had a dream I was Leon and the alligator was chasing me down the hallway just like it does in the game. It's a narrow hallway and even though Leon is eight way directional he is goddamn hard to control because a) you have to use the pad instead of the analog, and b) he can walk backwards but not run,and in order to get him to actually run in the other direction you have to turn him with the control pad. The controls are something between FFVII and FFVIII. So anyway, it's a scary little part of the game and I dreamed that the alligator was chasing me/Leon down that hallway and I couldn't run quickly enough. I could feel the floor shaking behind me and the alligator snapped at my heels and then I woke up.

Last night's dream was even weirder. I might have talked about this one aspect of my dreams before; I can't remember. But I do this so often in dreams that it bears mentioning. Often I'll be dreaming of the hero of a story and he'll find himself in trouble. This is where I always step into the dream. I tell myself, "He can't handle this; I'd better do it until the crisis is over." And then I'll become the character. Usually it's men; there are very few women in my dreams and when there are, they are taking care of business themselves. In my dreams, men can't handle it and so I have to solve their crises. O_O I'm not sure precisely what this says about me but probably not something good. According to my friend Kim, however, the gender of the character doesn't matter since every character in your dream is really you: after all it's your mind and you have created the scenario and the characters, even if they resemble anyone else. So in her logic, the "hero by proxy" is just my way of solving a problem using another aspect of my own mind. Which I think is really neat.

Well, anyway. So in this dream, once again I'm playing as Leon Kennedy and there are zombies all around. A few have bitten him. (In the game when you get bitten or injured, you can no longer run; instead you hold your side and limp along, which makes every consecutive battle even harder!) So he's limping along inside this big factory, actually more like a grainery because there was definitely some grainery action going on, zombies everywhere but these were more like the Ganados of 4 rather than the zombies of 2. At the top of a silver staircase is a huge white dog. I realize that this dog is the german shepherd Jimmy, the one who I trained and finally got placed in a dog sanctuary (anyone remember how angry I was at Douche Ex Boss over that, when he kept threatening to put the dog in the pound and he made it my problem even though it was his business? And I had to care for the dog myself and finally drive it to Lindenhurst etc.? Well anyway, I was crazy over this beautiful dog and I cried when I had to say good bye to him. This was the dog in my dream.)

So there was Jimmy at the top of the stairs, and he was being used as a guard dog to protect the zombies' grainery. O_o Every few days they would throw him the arm of some person they had killed. He was chained up at the top of the stairs and he started growling at Leon. I was watching from behind a wall; I knew that he would not be able to get past Jimmy. But I also realized that Jimmy would recognize me even if I had to take Leon's place in the story. And I knew that i had to or they would both die. So I jumped into Leon (O_O) just as one of the zombies was going to feed Jimmy. Jimmy finally saw me / us and started barking. I waved my (our) arms around and said, "Jimmy, it's me! I placed you years ago, why did they put you here?" I immediately knew it was Douche Ex Boss's fault. Well, Jimmy recognized me and started barking joyfully. The zombie went to hit him, and Jimmy bit the zombie's arm. He started twisting it around until he bit the arm off totally. The zombie started to scream at him and that got the attention of all the others. They started to run towards, not Jimmy, but me / Leon. I ran up the stairs towards Jimmy where everything was suddenly so bright, and I grabbed him and hugged him really hard.

Zombies started to throw bars of soap at us. It was white soap; suddenly everything was white. Beyond the door there was a field of white flowers and we both ran into it. I kept hugging Jimmy and saying that I hoped he was okay and I missed him.

The scene changed and I was outside of what used to be my grandparents' front yard but is now my cousins' front yard. Jimmy was still with me, only he looked more Saluki-ish and I said (to no one in particular,) "This dog was the reason I got a different white dog. Otherwise everything would be different. It's like he's the grandfather, or maybe the prequel to the line of white dogs."

Then one of the zombies told me that if it hadn't been for the white dog, the entire story of Resident Evil wouldn't make sense, and that if I paid enough attention, the white dog would show how 2 became 4 and 4 became two, like a story with no ending.

And then I effing woke up.

WTF?

Let's see, let's see. Okay, I love the drill we're doing in Kung Fu, in blackbelt. It's got some steal-steps, a binh-choy, a side kick to a back-kick, then two head-removing hits, the cup choy and sou choy. (I can only hope I'm spelling those right.) I was so happy because I was doing them tonight and Sifu said I was doing a great job. Pretty much made my night!

And just because I don't want to forget this: U.S. "war on terror" eroded rights worldwide: experts

( Under the cut )

THANK YOU.

Haha, I'm such a dork. The song and the cut-scenes just seemed to go together and I couldn't help myself. So now you know, when I say "I'm killing zombies," this is the game I'm playing. RE4 is a great survival/horror game and Leon is a fun and quirky hero. Hope you like this silly AMV!

This also served to remind me why I fell in love with 30STM in the first place. They are such a fantastic band. Jared's voice is so beautiful when he just lets it fly like that. ^_^

Oh: Please let it load before watching it, please have the sound on (hello, it's an animated music video,) and please watch till the end because it's very funny. ^_^

I don't know dude, all of a sudden I was writing fanfictions again, really short ones that I didn't even bother to finish. I was just goofing around, trying to see if I could come up with anything. I wasn't too thrilled with it.

So I did what I always do: uploaded them to a private page and ran them through my old friend The Mangler.

As always, mangled lines are in italics and parenthetical comments are my own.

( They grab onto something--a barrel a sack of grain, he can't be seeing this: spikes shoot out of his pants. )

FUN!

To get this out of the way first:

Say, Bush, you invaded the wrong country and Al Quaida wasn't there until you invaded it.

"SO WHAT?"



Once again, Cenk says it all. I don't even have to add to his commentary.

Well, now that that's off my chest... Today is otherwise lovely! It's raining, and though I wish it were snowing, this will do for now I guess. Once in a while the rain freezes into sleet and makes a cool noise on top of my patio room and the aviary.

Last night in Kung Fu we all had such a great time. We worked really hard in basics class and then in advanced we did locking and trapping and throwing. I'm feeling all stretchy today, also I think I caught a cold but it's not so bad.

As we were closing up the school I asked Sifu when our party was going to be and he said he didn't think we were having one because no one could afford it. This was a MAJOR bummer for me. I told him, "Yeah, I guess I understand. But, let's have one anyway!" and he was like, "Well, okay." In the end we decided that whoever wants to will just meet up for a night out. It probably won't be that many of us. Me, the Empress, Lady Chrysanthemum, Beautiful Boy, Snarklit, and Sifu is my guess. Maybe Scarred Hardcase and Tattooed Sweetheart.

This afternoon I'm going to see TDTESS. It plays at 4:10 around the corner here. I guess I'll go out to the grocery store and get a pint of ice cream for dinner and then head over to the theater.

BLISS, right? :)

Oops, one more thing. Making me both LOL and cringe today, Resident Evil 4 ways to die. It's 8 minutes freaking long!



It's hideous when he gets totally raped by the regenerators! And chopped in half, and run over, and stabbed repeatedly and, like, really graphically. It's kind of hilarious when Luis kills him out of exasperation. And It's AWFUL* when he drowns!














*Kind of hot.

Yeah, kind of hot.

ETA:



O_O

Last night I watched We Own The Night. The first five minutes of the movie were like, "S'up, how about a little porn with your ice cream?" No, that's cool, I mean, you know. Joaquin. Then it was really good for a while and then the last half hour was so wildly implausible that I facepalmed through the entire ending. ( Cut for spoilers. ) But hey I mean, Joaquin. I'd pay to watch him drink a glass of water.

This afternoon I went out shopping with Mom to get birthday gifts for Boychild. His first birthday is next week. ^_^ We went to the Disney store (they're going with us next trip so Timmy wants him to be familiar with things he's going to see there, to build up the excitement,) and EVERYthing was on sale. I got him a ton of stuff. Also, it brought me back to buying things for SB and Jo-chan, how special they were and are, and the people they are growing up to be. It got me all nostalgic and emo.

It also made me realize that it's my turn next. I guess I should really get on that.

Oh, I also picked up this really awesome, soft long sleeved shirt with Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas on it. I'm so into soft, long-sleeved shirts these days. That and horizontal stripes, on, like, everything. I don't know why that is.

Then I got sheets for my new bed which I do not have yet. It's a twin, and it's teeny, and I'm way, way more excited about it than I should be.

Tonight is Tai Chi and tomorrow is Kung Fu. :)

Oh! Duh. Last night I also finished Resident Evil 4. I'ms o disappointed, I had no idea it was going to end when it did. The last boss fight was the easiest fight in the entire game. I think I would like to play it again, but the thought of re-doing the parts that frustrated me are making me go, "Uhh." Beating it also unlocked a bunch of other games I can play now, too. I was going to go out and get another game to play today, but then I found out that SuperSmash is coming out in about two weeks and I decided to save my money for that one.

Have to say though, RE4 was a really awesome game. I was so into it.

My brothers' and sister's mother died last week (I only found out last night,) and then this morning, my aunt died. I guess she was my aunt: she was my cousin's husband's mother. This was Boychild's other Grandma. Both were really sick for a long time so none of it was a surprise, and I wasn't personally close with my aunt, and I had never met my brothers' and sister's mother, so. But the things that came of both of these events were all kind of strange.

First of all, with Boychild and his Grandma. Well of course, as he is adopted, my cousins aren't allowed to leave him with a babysitter for the first six months. No exceptions, he has to go everywhere with at least one of them. So he has spent much of this month at his Grandma's death bed. He'll be a year old in a few weeks. His behavior is what has been so stunning. He would just lie in bed with her, petting her hair and putting her hands on his little round face. Oddly though, even before he met her (the first few days he was home, when she was in the hospital,) he was obsessive over a photograph of her. He would bypass all the other family pictures my cousins had hung up and keep putting his little hand on a picture of her.

This kid really reminds me of SB and of Jo-Chan, because they were both really deep kids like this, too.

Then, because my brothers' and sister's mother died, I called both of my brothers tonight. My eldest brother James, I have remained close with him. So talking to him, even right after the death of his mother, was just like usual. He sounded a little tired and worn out but that was it. My chilly, funny, snarky, philosophical brother. But talking to Gary was weird, as it always is on the rare occasion that I do talk to him. It's like there's so much catching up to do, it seems pointless to even catch up sometimes. You can never go into detail. It's weird to be like that with your own brother. Also it's a tad uncomfortable because I never know if he's going to start talking about the Bible again. That, I believe, had something to do with his estrangement fm most of the family. And it was his choice, actually. Still, it felt right to be talking to him.

In other news, my friend Kelly and I went for a massage today. Her aunt wants to be a masseuse and she wanted to practice so we were like "WE WILL HELP YOU PRACTICE!" ^_^ It was cool. Afterwards I came home and set up Havoc in his new cage that his auntie Kim bought for him. It looks a lot nicer than the wooden one I made for him, and it's a hell of a lot safer. He was eating bits and pieces off the wooden one. This cage is really secure and he can't eat it.

Oh, I had a really vivid scary dream last night. It started out that I was playing a video game of Stephen King's Gunslinger series. We were on a beach and my character was with Roland and we had to, obviously, get to the tower. On the beach were little structures that looked like castle ruins, only small, just barely enough to fit into. (That's straight out of one part of RE4.) Anyway, soon the video game became real and monsters were chasing us up the beach. They were the same monsters from the book, what King called "lobstrosities," lobster-like beasts that would eat you. At one point I was running across the beach and they were chasing me, and I fell, and glass and all kinds of quills were sticking to me. I wanted to stop and pull them out, but I knew I had to keep running. Then the lobstrosities turned into one giant T. rex, like the T Rexaur of Final Fantasy 8. I was running from it and it was super fast. Then Roland yelled to me that its vision was based on movement and I needed to stop running. I dodged into one of the little castle ruins and tried to keep still. I was holding my breath and its eye, which was bigger than I was, was peering in. It began to turn away. I had to take a breath and when I did, my hand moved. Its head whipped around and I thought it was going to bite me in half, but instead it kept staring. Then it started to walk away, but I could sense that it still knew I was around, even though it couldn't see me. It came around the front of the ruined stone structure and shoved its entire face into the front, putting its snout up against me. this went on for what seemed like about ten minutes in my dream while I was holding my breath, waiting for it to go away. And all I kept thinking of was the buzzing noise and vibrating that the Wii-mote does when you die violently in RE4.

O_O

And speaking of, I am still not finished with Resident Evil 4. It seems like I can't find enough time to play it, which is ridiculous, because there is plenty of time to be doing all sorts of things like practicing forms or writing or drawing, but instead, well. Anyway, that's where I am tonight and what I'm about to do. let the real world deal with itself for a while so that I can kill some more zombies.

Thanksgiving was hilarious. Let me see if I can remember the three things that are so completely not funny in the retelling, but which had me falling out of my chair when they happened.

Well okay, first of all I so called it. Betsy brought over some champagne, which she, my Mom and I drank (I only had half a glass and I was all buzzed for about an hour afterwards,) and by three my Mom was like "WOOOOAHH DINNER IS DONE HEEHEE!" My Mom drinks like three times a year, so a glass or two and she's practically on the floor. More on this later. SB brought over Guitar Hero for the Wii, so the day went exactly as I'd thought it would. Also Betsy opened the wine, said "it was an amusing little year," to which I replied, "Hilarious." Jo-chan did go on youtube and show us something awesome.

( The most awesome thing I've ever seen a band do. )
I'm not ashamed to say that I got chills during the Zelda part. And also sort of when the audience yelled out "MORTAL KOMBAT!" I love stuff like that. In this one you can see it better and you can hear the announcer, but you can't hear the music as well.

The three things? After dinner the lot of us ended up talking about comic books for some reason. My Uncle mentioned something about killing off Batman but I don't remember the context. Betsy said it shouldn't be too hard to kill off Batman since there was never anything supernatural about him; everyone agreed that he just had a lot of gadgets. I said, "He's not invincible. Batman is totally vincible." To which SB replied in his usual deadpan manner: "I vinced him." YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

The second thing: Jo-chan asked if she had told us about the time her chicken had caught a vole and killed it. My Da said, "Vole? What the hell is that?" "A rodent," my Mom told him. But my Dad is mostly deaf so he was like, "A what? Mole?" "VOLE." My Dad goes, "What the hell is a vole?" My Mom told him, "It's like a mole. It's a mole with a V." I said, "It's a female mole." It took about three seconds for everyone else to crack up.

The third thing: Later on, we ended up talking about town codes and things like that. Betsy was saying something about the over-clearing code and that she herself had to take down a tree in her yard. My Mom asked her, "What did you take? The treaters or the leafy?" The funny thing is that Betsy answered her without missing a beat ("One of the cedars,") but everyone else was silent for a moment before going, "...what?" The treaters or the leafy. My Mom on a few glasses of champagne, ladies and gentlemen.

Work on Friday was so frustrating that it took all I had in me not to push someone down stairs. I hate when I have to direct. I hate having to instruct people to do certain things at certain times. I hate that I'm the one with the whip and I know I'm cracking it and sounding like a bitch everytime I open my mouth. But I love that i manage to get everyone out at five, most especially me.

Yesterday I made pea soup which totally ruled, and I started decking the halls. I'm addicted to this mystery blog, people. And I'm back on it today. It's like crack and it can't be good. I feel like Clarice Starling. Hello, BlogBelieve friends if you've stopped by. Who's our mystery anon who likes to think they know what I'm up to today? The guy gets one good guess and all of a sudden he thinks he knows what color underwear I'm wearing. Jesus. (White with flowers.)

Tonight I am going to fork over like an insane amount of money for something that is totally worth it for the rest of my life.

I am: Hal Clement (Harry C. Stubbs) A quiet and underrated master of "hard science" fiction who, among other things, foresaw integrated circuits back in the 1940s.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Cute quiz!

That said, I honestly didn't think there would ever be another game that even equalled either Ocarina of Time or Final Fantasy VII. I was way wrong. Twilight Princess owns. Telma is the biggest whore in Hyrule, triple-goddess bless her, and I *heart* her, even though it was a beeotch getting that stupid cart across Hyrule Field to Kakariko. She shoved her boobs at Link a bunch of times and sashayed off to score with Renado, and already she has completely won me over.

Also, the fact that the opening music is the beginning of the original Zelda theme makes me warm and happy in my video game places. ^_^ Am I fangirling again? Oh, believe it. Link has been my hero since I was a little kid and he was just a pixilated sprite. Now he's this freaky blue-eyed beast, and I love it. :D

Somebody needs to beat Malo, though. That kid keeps sassing me.