2 deaths in the family, and a dream
Feb. 9th, 2008 08:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideMy brothers' and sister's mother died last week (I only found out last night,) and then this morning, my aunt died. I guess she was my aunt: she was my cousin's husband's mother. This was Boychild's other Grandma. Both were really sick for a long time so none of it was a surprise, and I wasn't personally close with my aunt, and I had never met my brothers' and sister's mother, so. But the things that came of both of these events were all kind of strange.
First of all, with Boychild and his Grandma. Well of course, as he is adopted, my cousins aren't allowed to leave him with a babysitter for the first six months. No exceptions, he has to go everywhere with at least one of them. So he has spent much of this month at his Grandma's death bed. He'll be a year old in a few weeks. His behavior is what has been so stunning. He would just lie in bed with her, petting her hair and putting her hands on his little round face. Oddly though, even before he met her (the first few days he was home, when she was in the hospital,) he was obsessive over a photograph of her. He would bypass all the other family pictures my cousins had hung up and keep putting his little hand on a picture of her.
This kid really reminds me of SB and of Jo-Chan, because they were both really deep kids like this, too.
Then, because my brothers' and sister's mother died, I called both of my brothers tonight. My eldest brother James, I have remained close with him. So talking to him, even right after the death of his mother, was just like usual. He sounded a little tired and worn out but that was it. My chilly, funny, snarky, philosophical brother. But talking to Gary was weird, as it always is on the rare occasion that I do talk to him. It's like there's so much catching up to do, it seems pointless to even catch up sometimes. You can never go into detail. It's weird to be like that with your own brother. Also it's a tad uncomfortable because I never know if he's going to start talking about the Bible again. That, I believe, had something to do with his estrangement fm most of the family. And it was his choice, actually. Still, it felt right to be talking to him.
In other news, my friend Kelly and I went for a massage today. Her aunt wants to be a masseuse and she wanted to practice so we were like "WE WILL HELP YOU PRACTICE!" ^_^ It was cool. Afterwards I came home and set up Havoc in his new cage that his auntie Kim bought for him. It looks a lot nicer than the wooden one I made for him, and it's a hell of a lot safer. He was eating bits and pieces off the wooden one. This cage is really secure and he can't eat it.
Oh, I had a really vivid scary dream last night. It started out that I was playing a video game of Stephen King's Gunslinger series. We were on a beach and my character was with Roland and we had to, obviously, get to the tower. On the beach were little structures that looked like castle ruins, only small, just barely enough to fit into. (That's straight out of one part of RE4.) Anyway, soon the video game became real and monsters were chasing us up the beach. They were the same monsters from the book, what King called "lobstrosities," lobster-like beasts that would eat you. At one point I was running across the beach and they were chasing me, and I fell, and glass and all kinds of quills were sticking to me. I wanted to stop and pull them out, but I knew I had to keep running. Then the lobstrosities turned into one giant T. rex, like the T Rexaur of Final Fantasy 8. I was running from it and it was super fast. Then Roland yelled to me that its vision was based on movement and I needed to stop running. I dodged into one of the little castle ruins and tried to keep still. I was holding my breath and its eye, which was bigger than I was, was peering in. It began to turn away. I had to take a breath and when I did, my hand moved. Its head whipped around and I thought it was going to bite me in half, but instead it kept staring. Then it started to walk away, but I could sense that it still knew I was around, even though it couldn't see me. It came around the front of the ruined stone structure and shoved its entire face into the front, putting its snout up against me. this went on for what seemed like about ten minutes in my dream while I was holding my breath, waiting for it to go away. And all I kept thinking of was the buzzing noise and vibrating that the Wii-mote does when you die violently in RE4.
O_O
And speaking of, I am still not finished with Resident Evil 4. It seems like I can't find enough time to play it, which is ridiculous, because there is plenty of time to be doing all sorts of things like practicing forms or writing or drawing, but instead, well. Anyway, that's where I am tonight and what I'm about to do. let the real world deal with itself for a while so that I can kill some more zombies.
First of all, with Boychild and his Grandma. Well of course, as he is adopted, my cousins aren't allowed to leave him with a babysitter for the first six months. No exceptions, he has to go everywhere with at least one of them. So he has spent much of this month at his Grandma's death bed. He'll be a year old in a few weeks. His behavior is what has been so stunning. He would just lie in bed with her, petting her hair and putting her hands on his little round face. Oddly though, even before he met her (the first few days he was home, when she was in the hospital,) he was obsessive over a photograph of her. He would bypass all the other family pictures my cousins had hung up and keep putting his little hand on a picture of her.
This kid really reminds me of SB and of Jo-Chan, because they were both really deep kids like this, too.
Then, because my brothers' and sister's mother died, I called both of my brothers tonight. My eldest brother James, I have remained close with him. So talking to him, even right after the death of his mother, was just like usual. He sounded a little tired and worn out but that was it. My chilly, funny, snarky, philosophical brother. But talking to Gary was weird, as it always is on the rare occasion that I do talk to him. It's like there's so much catching up to do, it seems pointless to even catch up sometimes. You can never go into detail. It's weird to be like that with your own brother. Also it's a tad uncomfortable because I never know if he's going to start talking about the Bible again. That, I believe, had something to do with his estrangement fm most of the family. And it was his choice, actually. Still, it felt right to be talking to him.
In other news, my friend Kelly and I went for a massage today. Her aunt wants to be a masseuse and she wanted to practice so we were like "WE WILL HELP YOU PRACTICE!" ^_^ It was cool. Afterwards I came home and set up Havoc in his new cage that his auntie Kim bought for him. It looks a lot nicer than the wooden one I made for him, and it's a hell of a lot safer. He was eating bits and pieces off the wooden one. This cage is really secure and he can't eat it.
Oh, I had a really vivid scary dream last night. It started out that I was playing a video game of Stephen King's Gunslinger series. We were on a beach and my character was with Roland and we had to, obviously, get to the tower. On the beach were little structures that looked like castle ruins, only small, just barely enough to fit into. (That's straight out of one part of RE4.) Anyway, soon the video game became real and monsters were chasing us up the beach. They were the same monsters from the book, what King called "lobstrosities," lobster-like beasts that would eat you. At one point I was running across the beach and they were chasing me, and I fell, and glass and all kinds of quills were sticking to me. I wanted to stop and pull them out, but I knew I had to keep running. Then the lobstrosities turned into one giant T. rex, like the T Rexaur of Final Fantasy 8. I was running from it and it was super fast. Then Roland yelled to me that its vision was based on movement and I needed to stop running. I dodged into one of the little castle ruins and tried to keep still. I was holding my breath and its eye, which was bigger than I was, was peering in. It began to turn away. I had to take a breath and when I did, my hand moved. Its head whipped around and I thought it was going to bite me in half, but instead it kept staring. Then it started to walk away, but I could sense that it still knew I was around, even though it couldn't see me. It came around the front of the ruined stone structure and shoved its entire face into the front, putting its snout up against me. this went on for what seemed like about ten minutes in my dream while I was holding my breath, waiting for it to go away. And all I kept thinking of was the buzzing noise and vibrating that the Wii-mote does when you die violently in RE4.
O_O
And speaking of, I am still not finished with Resident Evil 4. It seems like I can't find enough time to play it, which is ridiculous, because there is plenty of time to be doing all sorts of things like practicing forms or writing or drawing, but instead, well. Anyway, that's where I am tonight and what I'm about to do. let the real world deal with itself for a while so that I can kill some more zombies.
