Followed fast and followed faster

[la_belle_laide]

So I've come to the not-so-startling conclusion that I need to really take a damn chill pill. I know, I had this same revelation, hell, epiphany only a few weeks ago when I was going to "act casual." You know, and that's worked out for me a lot! But maybe it's better if I stop acting.

Haku Baikou's death got tome (she was young, so talented, why couldn't she finish her story, it was too sudden, etc. the usual) but it's pretty much deeper than that and it precedes that one incident. You could say that I expect disaster after having lost Gran and Dad so suddenly and so close together, and you'd be right, but it precedes those events, too. I always assume the worst. Always.

If I don't hear from people within a certain expected time frame (which, depending on how often I usually hear from them, can be days or years,) then obviously they are Dead In A Ditch. Someone doesn't call me when I expect them to—even if I haven't called them?--Dead In A Ditch. I don't get a yearly email or card from someone who is normally pretty distant? Yeah, Dead In A Ditch. This is so my way of dealing with things. Because then when they're not DIAD, I can be all, "Oh, how happy I am!"

It actually goes much farther than that, too. When the phone rings after 10 PM, it's because there's been an accident or death in the family. Noise in the house? Emergency. Sirens? Obviously someone I know. Someone coughs, has a pain, feels tired, looks pale, breaks a nail? Cancer.

Living in a constant state of panic is bad for you, and it makes you fat, too.

I'm happy that Lisa S is not DIAD but this really is my problem. I think I've got to work on that.

So, MOOD WHIPLASH. The other day on Twitter I read from this rad agent (my fave,) that this one OTHER agent is doing a contest of sorts which is not really a contest as much as it is an opportunity. You send in your query within these teeny window of time (one hour, yesterday,) and no matter what, she will critique your query for you. She'll actually email you back and tell you directly what needs work. I figured I'd be in school till 4:30 and I'd miss the window, but wonder of wonders, we finished early, I wrapped up my test by 11:15 and made it home by 12:15. Man, I barely glanced at the query before I fired it off. I sincerely hope I didn't do some dumbass thing like accidentally send an email full of wingdings or misspell my own name. But either way: query crit from a pretty well-known agent. And she's awesome, too. I really hope that this contest doesn't preclude querying her again (forgot to ask,) because she reps steampunk and other such things and she is pretty cool. She's on my list of "hopefullys."

Ano, I need another fishtank because Kaoru is picking on Kenshin and not letting him eat (I think she's knocked up) and Quatre keeps attacking Leon and not letting him eat. As if I have a billion billion dollars to throw around, tomorrow I have to go out and get a smaller fish tank so I can separate them. When I first got this fish tank, friends warned me, "This is just the beginning. Soon you'll be getting tank after tank." I told them that would never happen. Umm, so yeah.

Gotta go cut Dana's nails right now. And then in a bit, My Wonderful Glassworker Friend is coming over. Pizza, cookies, Dexter, yay.

Me, getting over my dumbass hangups.

Comments

[skitty-kitty.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the query letter!

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'll sure post whatever happens. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Happy Saint David's Day to you.

Leaves a bunch of daffodils on the table, oh and an extra bunch for your mum.
Also leaves a plate of welsh cakes, 'cos they are yummy, *wipes mouth, brushes crumbs away*. Sorry but it's a long way from Wales to America and I got a bit peckish on the way:(

Welshie

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

Awww, I've never heard of St. David's day! Didn't know he had a day, but i went to his school. ;) We don't have daffodils here yet. Next month we will. ^_^

Thanks, Welshie!