douchebags
May. 26th, 2009 10:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideSo I'm at school now on my crackberry and there are two atomic douchebombs in this class and I can hardly even take it. I want to vomit right into their faces with the force of a tsunami.
Douche 1 is the guy who thought you crapped out of your uterus that first day. Today he got two wrong on the labeling test and argued with the professor that he was right. See, he had to be right. Guys like this are never wrong. If he says the superior vena cava is a valve, then goddamnit it is. The teacher must have written the test wrong.
The professor asked "can anyone tell me what the K is for in EKG?" And D-1 said, "Kilograms?"
OMG. He texts and sleeps through most of the class, swings his gym bag around every time he gets up, and he just spent twenty minutes loudly rubbing and rotating his forearm during class to let us all know, "Hey, I work out." When really all it said to me was, "I spent about an hour jerking off to German porn."
Then there's D-2. He's this typical noisy Guido midget, which is a total affectation. Every conversation must include "BUT AHM ITALIAN YO" and he uses it as an excuse for when he's acting like an ass, which is always. He came in today (late) loudly proclaiming it a national holiday "'cause it's my boithday!" He told the professor he "shud be honnah'ed 'cause I came ta class tah-day!"
He has this one friend, a girl, and he loudly says rude, sexist and embarrassing things to her under the pretense of not knowing he's being a douche, and when she calls him one, he goes "Well SAWWRY, jeez. I can't help it, AHM ITALIAN."
No, douche. Other people are Italian. You're just a dil-hole.
I wish I could love this class, but these people make me want to commit crimes.
Douche 1 is the guy who thought you crapped out of your uterus that first day. Today he got two wrong on the labeling test and argued with the professor that he was right. See, he had to be right. Guys like this are never wrong. If he says the superior vena cava is a valve, then goddamnit it is. The teacher must have written the test wrong.
The professor asked "can anyone tell me what the K is for in EKG?" And D-1 said, "Kilograms?"
OMG. He texts and sleeps through most of the class, swings his gym bag around every time he gets up, and he just spent twenty minutes loudly rubbing and rotating his forearm during class to let us all know, "Hey, I work out." When really all it said to me was, "I spent about an hour jerking off to German porn."
Then there's D-2. He's this typical noisy Guido midget, which is a total affectation. Every conversation must include "BUT AHM ITALIAN YO" and he uses it as an excuse for when he's acting like an ass, which is always. He came in today (late) loudly proclaiming it a national holiday "'cause it's my boithday!" He told the professor he "shud be honnah'ed 'cause I came ta class tah-day!"
He has this one friend, a girl, and he loudly says rude, sexist and embarrassing things to her under the pretense of not knowing he's being a douche, and when she calls him one, he goes "Well SAWWRY, jeez. I can't help it, AHM ITALIAN."
No, douche. Other people are Italian. You're just a dil-hole.
I wish I could love this class, but these people make me want to commit crimes.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-26 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-26 07:07 pm (UTC)To be honest, though, I wish he could hear me laugh at him. I have this super-special snerk I use for "I'm laughing at you, not with you." He need to hear that snerk early and often.
I don't suppose anyone in class chortles at him like this?
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:29 pm (UTC)I am way past chortling at him, but my eyes roll so much when he opens his mouth that I can see the front of my brain.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-26 07:32 pm (UTC)It's not a universal thing, thank goodness. When I was the year ahead it was fine. But my luck at getting put in the "bad" classes holds strong to this day.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:31 pm (UTC)Glad to bring the lulz; I try to laugh about these morons and once outside of class I actually can. It makes me feel better to make fun of them. I guess I'm a pretty wicked person. ^_^
Way to go on the dissertation! Sounds like a Ph.D in the works??
no subject
Date: 2009-05-26 10:07 pm (UTC)Which in the interest of workplace harmony, i usually just ignore him, or stare at him with that gaze that communicates, "If i were Clark Kent, you'd have exploded by now." However, i always think to myself, "Funny, i have known lots of people from Brooklyn who manage to refrain somehow from being fucking tumescent shit-sacks..."
Fiery deaths to all.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:33 pm (UTC)I am also with the "mostly ignoring but setting you on fire with my mind" look. It's the only way to deal with it without getting suspended. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 08:04 pm (UTC)ARG. *flock of angry birds*
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 03:28 am (UTC)I hope your dog gets better Kapu!
-a fan from you know where
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:33 pm (UTC)Crimes
Date: 2009-05-27 10:35 am (UTC)Like "homicidal behavior on a massive scale"?
Damn, I probaly effed that quote alll up, but it's my just my little way of letting you know I feel your pain.
Love,
Solly
Re: Crimes
Date: 2009-05-27 07:33 pm (UTC)unbelievable
Date: 2009-05-27 02:36 pm (UTC)The phrase " Too dumb to breath" jumps to mind
Re: unbelievable
Date: 2009-05-27 07:34 pm (UTC)What the hell?
Re: unbelievable
Date: 2009-05-27 08:07 pm (UTC)Even if they managed to make it through an internship and interview process, you act like a fucking raging toolbag to your patients and you aren't going to retain them AT ALL. The last thing ill people want to cope with is some smug pushy rude fuck.