Two midterms down!

[la_belle_laide]

And three to go. Today was Fundamental Theory and I'm fairly sure I rocked it clean off the foundations, but that of course remains to be seen for sure. I did a lot of reviewing for it directly before the test in the little time I had between classes, and a little last night too. I think I have the early parts of the course embedded in my brain.

I feel like that with a lot of my classes. Like the early parts--the basics--are all firmly in there; they are knowledge now instead of just facts. Yet the more recent stuff seems more fleeting. I don't know. Even when I'm getting 90's and 100's on recent tests, I feel like I really won't know this stuff come the end of the trimester. Just a feeling I have.

We also had another test today in A&P and I got a 95 with a HUGE ASS AMOUNT OF EFFORT. The test was on stuff we didn't have in a lecture. There was a lot of looking up of stuff, damn. Then we did our first microscope lab. I mean I know how to look into one (because I often read fecals at The Bad Place,) but then we had to draw the cells we saw, label them and whatnot. This was a true science lab; we all had to kind of ask each other for help b/c the professor went off his own way. It was challenging.

So the next three midterms I have are: Monday in herbs, next Saturday A&P (DAMN that is going to be hard,) and the following Tuesday in chemistry.

Also, today I handed in all my stuff for the China trip. Check, passport, application, everything. I asked her how many were going so far and she said, "Twelve, and then you." OMG I AM THIRTEEN, LIKE ON HOUSE except without the whole "good-looking bisexual dying doctor macking on Foreman" thing.

Here's something strange that's going on with me. I can't stop eating. I mean, like every hour or less, I have to be putting some damn thing in my maw. Pretty much everything going past my face is going into my mouth. I'm starting to worry about my dogs, actually. (I'm a vegetarian, but still.) So I went out and bought a bunch of stuff that is NOT junk, not the kind of "I need something to much on" kind of thing you see in many houses such as chips, pretzels, cookies etc. Instead I bought a bunch of cherry tomatoes, tons of blackberries, strawberries and other sorts of berries and junk like that. Because I CANNOT STOP. The only problem is, I'm eating like a pint of berries per night. Yesterday I ate half the carton of tomatoes. And the thing is, I'm still putting on all this weight because no matter how healthy the stuff is, it's still sugar and it still has calories. I have absolutely no portion control when it comes to this. Also at school, the food there is so damn good and so cheap that I'm eating like three lunches and one dinner on some days. I think that the food is sort of low calorie (it's all veggies, beans and barley) but it is high in salt. Oh, and uhh, they bake chocolate chip cookies fresh every morning and I have to have one or two a day. So that's like eight damn chocolate chip cookies per week. I've literally put on about seven pounds since January. WTMFF is this?

And the thing is, even though I'm trying to gorge myself to bursting on stuff that is at least organic and healthy, I'm actually craving pizza, ice cream, cupcakes, Oreos, and chips. Typical junk food. Tonight I'm jonzing so hard for cupcakes. the kind with frosting on top, that kind of frosting where, when you bite into it, you break through that crisp little top coat of semi-staleness before getting to the creaminess underneath. Then I actually don't want the cupcake part. Just the frosting. The frosting with the crispy coat.

Or a chocolate donut.

And when I'm not eating food, I'm invariably thinking of the next time I will be eating it. That's never happened before. I've always enjoyed eating a lot, and I've always looked forward to meals with anticipation and a ridiculous amount of joy, but recently it's all I seem to think about. And I'm not actually hungry, either. I feel full, bloated, totally fat. I have no hunger pangs. I just want to frigging eat and this has been going on for over a month now.

I think I'm going to go have a bowl of cereal now. >_<

ETA: OH MY GOD, my stupid dream!

So I'm standing in school in this dream, and it's college only it's laid out like my old high school; same views out the windows and everything. I'm standing next to this guy I know and for some reason, we are in a class for writing porn. O_o So the teacher is reading out of this porn book and as she does so, we're watching cartoon graphics of the proceedings. Whoever made up the cartoons was a comedian. The teacher reads this line that goes, "He was lickign up and down their legs," and the cartoon shows this group of women in typical newspaper cartoon drawing style, laid out in neat little vertical rows, heels to head. Then there's a guy and he's running along all of them, up and down the rows, with his tongue out, licking all of them in a pattern as if he was mowing the lawn. At this point in the dream I burst out laughing hysterically. I relaized it was meant to be funny and I started to laugh harder, until tears were coming out of my eyes. The guy next to me started laughing too and he put his arm around me companionably. I did the same to him and all of a sudden I realized that we were dating.

I kept on laughing at the cartoon and I actually woke myself up laughing.

Before you ask "what are you eating before you go to sleep?!" see above. ;)

Comments

[skitty-kitty.livejournal.com]

and if it makes you feel any better, i just ate an entire stuffed crust frozen pizza and have had two muffins in the past two days. i'm really going to regret the day i no longer work my ass off, because i will either become the size of a whale, or miss out on my gorging. :(

Have you tried drinking more, like tea to make your stomach full?

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

But it seems like you are just treating yourself once in a while, and that' sfine. I used to be like that, too. Just once a month have a whole damn pint of ice cream and a pizza pie or something.

Believe me, I drink tea like MAD. Until I am bloated with it. I must drink about a quart of tea a day and I drink it cosntantly. The thing is, I am actually full, totally feeling full and even bloated with food. Not hungry at all.

And STILL eating. O_O

[skitty-kitty.livejournal.com]

Not always, there are days where I feel like you do and keep eating until I feel like I'm going to vomit. I don't know why I get that way, but it's usually when it's either really cold out (hello instincts kicking in!) or hormones/in pain. I don't understand it, but I get the urge to eat fatty foods then and it's hard to stop.

Now I want ice cream. :D Good thing it's not anywhere nearby.

[la-belle-laide.livejournal.com]

That does sound a little more like what's going on with me. Mine's been for about a month or so; I hope it quits soon. Sometimes I feel that if I just went out and ate a box of goddamn donuts it would just quit. Or cupcakes. GOD I could use a cupcake.