la_belle_laide | Majat, memes, other things...

So I was in the shower after Kung Fu tonight (forms, jump crescents--I have to stop looking up when I do these--and spinning back hook kicks,) and I started stressing about my stupid novel. Like, why won't it just write itself like all my other stories used to? Time was I could turn out three stories in a year, now I'm lucky if I can manage one in three years, it's ridiculous. I used to either know exactly where I was going at least a quarter of the way into the story, or I wouldn't know and I wouldn't care; I'd be having too much fun with the characters to care where they were going, just as long as I was writing about them. Once I decided I wanted to publish stuff someday, it became work, the joy left. I've been struggling more than I like to talk about, because, well, who the hell cares, really?

So there I was in the shower and all of a sudden I had an image of Leander leaning down with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. Then I "looked" a little closer and I saw that his eyes were scanning the ground, randomly and rapidly and I thought, "shell-shock." Then I thought, "Why?" Then I thought "too much fighting, and he's not good at that to begin with." Then I thought "battles" and from there found out who was in them, what started them, and what led up to them. And there it was: the entire outline of the rest of the novel. I was thrilled to say the least, and I sat down and wrote out my whole outline. (MY OUTLINES LOOK JUST EXACTLY LIKE THIS, THEY ARE ALL IN CAPS SO I CAN DISTINGUISH THEM FROM THE REAL STORY--BROKEN UP BY DASHES--RANDOM WORDS AND IMAGES AND PHRASES... THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BECAUSE OF THAT THAT HAPPENS, AND DON'T FORGET THE ISSUE YOU SET UP FROM THE LAST BOOK, STUPID, ETC.)

I realized after this that I actually write backwards. I find one image, or one phrase, and I build a story backwards off of that. That's the way I used to do it when I enjoyed it. Sometimes an entire story would be a huge vehicle for one tiny moment I had kept vividly in my head. And no matter where the plot went, and no matter the climax and denoument etc, that one image would be the pinnacle for me, even if no one else noticed it. And I think I just found that again!

In other news, I dyed my hair back to its natural black after about four years of having it various reds and browns. I'm happy with it, at least for now. I have some pics, but I just haven't had a chance to post them yet (I'm sure you're all sobbing.) And I still have more to tell about the party the other night. And I did these little quizzicles the other day, before, well, before Twilight Princess.

Twilight Princess is, of course, the reason this entry is so rushed. I've had in on pause since I left the house for Kung Fu this afternoon. And now I'm fiending for it. Later!

Almost Perfect- INFP

26% Extraversion, 86% Intuition, 46% Thinking, 33% Judging

So, you want to make the world a better place? Too bad it's never gonna happen.

Of all the types, you have to be one of the hardest to find fault in. You have a selfless and caring nature. You're a good listener and someone who wants to avoid conflict. You genuinely desire to do good.

Of course, these all add up to an incredibly overpowered conscience which makes you feel guilty and responsible when anything goes wrong. Of course, it MUST be your fault EVERYTIME.

Though you're constantly on a mission to find the truth, you have no use for hard facts and logic, which is a source of great confusion for those of us with brains. Despite this, in a losing argument, you're not above spouting off inaccurate fact after fact in an effort to protect your precious values.

You're most probably a perfectionist, which in this case, is a bad thing. Any group work is destined to fail because of your incredibly high standards.

Disregard what I said before. You're just easy to find fault in as everyone else!

Luckily, you're generally very hard on yourself, meaning I don't need to waste my precious time insulting you. Instead, just find all your own faults and insult yourself.

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If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Extraversion
You scored higher than 99% on Intuition
You scored higher than 99% on Thinking
You scored higher than 99% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Haha, that's great!

And:

Half-Cocked
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDf)

Fiery. Hungry. Blatant. Sexual. Christ. You are Half-Cocked.

There's a lot of wild lust inside you, banging around, that much is obvious. There's also a lot of untamed emotion. When either escapes, look out. One minute you're completely together, the next you're a howling gale of hormones and opinions.

Outside relationships, your intense, mercurial personality makes you a charmer. You can be fiercely devoted, and it's likely that many of your friends will be friends-for-life. Of course, your enemies are likewise certain and zealous, especially your exes and their therapists.

Your exact opposite:
The Maid of Honor

Deliberate Gentle Love Master

You will find the right person. In the short term, he's someone virile who won't sweat your imperfections. In the long term, he will be someone mature and caring who will grow to love them.