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la_belle_laideUmmm, blahdeblahblah, let's see, what happened this week? Well, for starters, Meghan's 8th grade graduation was Wednesday. The ceremony was long and draggy, and I could hardly see Meghan. Afterwards we all went out to a little diner/bar in Easthapmton that played Bob Marley and other cool things. The food was pretty good and Mom, Betsy and I had a glass of wine. It was very strong I guess, because I was completely loopy before I'd finished even half. There was a really cute guy at the bar with floppy black hair and a green hat. I made naughty eyes at him on my way to the bathroom and he smiled. That was decent of him, I think.
On Thursday, Kim came over with a grocery bag full of three different ice creams, and raw cookie dough. We watched Alexander, which Kim hadn't seen before, and I did terrible, terrible things to my health, diet-wise.
Something happened Friday that made Casse and I laugh until we had tears in our eyes ... what was it? Oh, I remember. I was going to buy a headband with a searingly bright light on the front, so that I could look at men without them looking at me. Casse pointed out that eventually their eyes would adjust and they would see me anyway, and asked if I was going to keep shaking my head around to keep on blinding them. You know, this stuff is all so hard to actually explain. All of my funny stuff has been "you had to be there" moments. I just couldn't stop laughing; it was kind of like the week before when I had what I thought was a mild case of hysteria over a joke that Jenn W. and I shared. This was worse, though. I coulnd't breathe and kept making this weird noise, and Gabby came in and told me I sounded like a zebra. Then Casse and I said the same exact, weird random thing (too rude to reprint, I think,) and I told her that I was going to read her mind. And then I did, which was very startling for both of us. I told her, "Okay, no wyou read my mind. What number am I thinking? And who am I thinking of doing it with?" Which I found so hilarious that I'm putting it as a line of dialogue in every story I write from now on. ;D Only not. Maybe just one.
I realized when I came home that in the last five weeks or so, I've done more hysterical laughing than I had in the entire previous year. I don't know if that's because things have just, for whatever reason, been funnier, or if there's something wrong with me. O_o
Friday night Meghan came over. There wasn't time to do much except say hi and chill out for a little while before I was off to bed because I had to get up early Saturday for two classes. Oh, hold up: we did play some KH2, because I remember that at around 11 PM I finished a chapter and got the message that said "A new episode was added!" When I wondered aloud, "a new episode to what?" Meghan said, "your face" and I cracked up laughing. That had to be Friday. It was, because that's the night we had the huge thunderstorm and the electricity went out. I was actually video recording the lightning when the big bolt struck and knocked out the electric. It was neat, but the rest of the night was miserable, because I couldn't have my white-noise maker thing on, or the air conditioner, and it was way too quiet for me to sleep. Then Trisky freaked out all night and would not let me sleep; she kept poking me with her nose to wake me up everytime it would thunder.
Saturday morning I was on NO SLEEP and Hula was vaguely unsatisfying. Mostly we all just talked about things that I felt we could discuss over email instead of during class time when we should have been working. But we did begin the Hawaiian Wedding Song which we want to do at Michelle's wedding, so hopefully we can get that one down before then.
Then at Kung Fu we did the sticks again, only this time Erica suggested that Chris and I do them together. This is where you do the actual fighting drill, hut you do it against each other, hitting each other's sticks. I always try to go slowly, but I'm so impatient. I don't want to learn things, I want to know them right away. I kept going to fast and forgetting where I was, and at one point I almost hit him right in the face, which would have been a tragedy. Then we went outside and did the beginning of what I think is the first staff form. I liked it very much and felt like less of a moron than I did when I first picked up the staff and wondered why this long piece of wood had the power to turn me into a moron. We went outside in the parking lot and Chris did the entire staff form, and I was stunned at how exactly like Kilik's moves these were. I know SCIII used motion capture, so it makes sense, but it still really startled me. After everyone else left, I hung around with Iris outside as she waited for her parents to come and pick her up. They were about twenty minutes late, but I couldn't leave her to wait by herself in the parking lot, which is still a little creepy in broad daylight. You don't do that to your training brothers and sisters, you know? Well, you don't do that to anyone I guess.
Back home, Meghan and I played KH2, and I think I'm very nearly done with it. There is no possible way for me to beat Sephiroth, so I see that I'm going to have to download the super special secret ending from youtube or something. Why does Sephiroth have to torment me?! (Or as Meghan calls him, WTF-iroth.) Then Saturday night we made my parents watch Advent Children on the TV and ate loads more ice cream.
On Sunday Mom and I took Meghan out birthday shopping. I got her the new Mario Cart and Sims 2 for Gamecube. SHe played that most of the day and then Sunday night (last night, that is,) we watched old Monty Python tapes and, well, ate more ice cream. All told, this week I must have eaten about 3/4 of a gallon of it. Bad, bad. But now Meg is back home. Hopefully next time she comes to visit it will be warm enough to go swimming. All we've had this week is rain.
Last night I had a dream about 30 Seconds to Mars. I wonder why?
First some background. Every night before bed I go out and look at the sky and the trees, even in the winter when it's frigid. I'm sort of in love with the night sky and the stars in a weird way; I get obsessed with it. Last night there was this gorgeous onshore breeze right off the ocean, and I guess this all kind of stuck with me.
So in my dream I was at the beach, trying to figure out a way to go and see this band in concert, which I would really love to do although my chances are very slim right now. (Managing to snag a ticket to CBGBs AND getting that day off work is really my only chance.) So I was thinking this through, wondering how I could fit in in with everything else that I have going on, feeling very bleak about it.
As it happens in dreams, the scene changed and I was in my own yard looking at the stars, feeling like Cinderella who can't go to the ball, when from behind my aviary I heard someone laughing. I turned around to see Matt Wachter--that's the band's bassist--sort of trying to hide the fact that he found something funny. I asked him, "What?" He shrugged but looked very knowing. (It's funny in dreams; one second I'm pitying myself over not going to see them in concert, and in the next I am completely unphased by the bass guitarist giggling behind my aviary.) He asked me where the ocean was and I told him, "About seven miles South of here."
Then I turned back around and saw Jared standing behind me. He said something pithy, though I don't remember exactly what it was. It had something to do with doing what you want or living the way you like or reaching. I think it was something he said in an interview that I read recently that stuck with me. I did something I'd never do in real life: I spoke rudely to him for no reason and said, "Platitudes. They don't really accomplish much."
Matt laughed again and waved it off like, "Nothing, whatever."
I turned back to Jared and now he was laughing, too, and I started to feel like I was the moron of this scenario. Jared said, "What's the fascination with the sky? When I said [whatever it was he said before] I meant this."
Then he picked me up by the waist and threw me into the sky, I mean, totally into space. I thought this was all incredibly fun and started laughing. I looked down and couldn't see the Earth anymore, just points of light in clusters everywhere. At first I thought that they were stars, but then I realized that I had become immeasurably tiny and they were photons. My back started tingling or itching or something, and I looked over my shoulder and saw these curving lines of light behind me like wings and I thought, "Those wings work on polarity, positive and negative electromagnetic forces. So I guess flying makes perfect sense after all." (Christ, not in a Winter Rose way. I can tell bizarre dreams from real life.)
I looked down again and saw huge flares of fire. They didn't fit in with the "photon" theory, but that didn't really bother me; it just looked really cool.
I said to myself, "This must be what it's like between lives," and then I woke up.
Jared Leto did say something in an interview that stuck with me, and it was a platitude, although I don't doubt his sincerity. It was something like, "live your dream, no matter how old or young you are." Which, you know, is very easy to say. (Which is not to imply that he didn't work very hard indeed and make many sacrifices to get where he is, and it would be equally easy for me to say that reaching one's goal is considerably less complicated for beautiful people, which I'm not going to say because that's a cop-out. Although I do think there is some glimmer of truth in it.) It's easy to say, hard to do, and bravo to him for doing it. And because he struck me as sincere when he said it, I actually thought about it. Yeah, you know, live your dreams, what the hell is stopping you! Get out there and do something! Sometimes hearing things like that makes me feel guilty, and I wonder why I'm not doing more, like for instance traveling around the world and starring in movies and skydiving and other fabulous things. I dwelled on it for a whole day, as you can see from that last entry with the Goethe quote. It made me wonder what exactly my dreams were, because they change depending on what I'm into during any given month or year.
One of my dreams has always been to play Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. I just always thought I could do such an interesting job with that role. So I looked into the Hapmtons Shakespeare Festival thing and I considered sending in a resume for that. Then I thought, "Do I really want to do that? Is that really such a significant dream that the other, more reachable and long-term ones need to sit and simmer for a while?" And then I thought, "Am I talking myself out of it because it's too hard?" That's my problem; I don't know what I really want. Then sometimes I think that really my dream is to have a nice, little Hula company and halau, to teach Hula until I'm ancient, to live life surrounded by my laughng family and friends, pets, flowers, the ocean, the salt air, go practice my Kung Fu a few times a week, have a kid, publish my book travel more some day. Then I wonder, Are those worthy of being "dreams"? Are they too modest? Are they too outlandish? Is that asking too much, or too little? And most of all, is that really all I want? I really don't know. When I think of those things, it makes me happy to imagine that they might come true.
On the other hand, when I think about those fantasies that pretty much everyone has but only like 20 people in the entire known world ever achieve as reality, or having a grand, mysterious, romantic adventure in Italy, or doing a movie or something crazy like that, that seems fantastic also and it makes me happy to imagine that it might come true.
Is there a line between attainable dreams and stupid fantasy? Does that line exist for everyone? That's what I don't know.
On Thursday, Kim came over with a grocery bag full of three different ice creams, and raw cookie dough. We watched Alexander, which Kim hadn't seen before, and I did terrible, terrible things to my health, diet-wise.
Something happened Friday that made Casse and I laugh until we had tears in our eyes ... what was it? Oh, I remember. I was going to buy a headband with a searingly bright light on the front, so that I could look at men without them looking at me. Casse pointed out that eventually their eyes would adjust and they would see me anyway, and asked if I was going to keep shaking my head around to keep on blinding them. You know, this stuff is all so hard to actually explain. All of my funny stuff has been "you had to be there" moments. I just couldn't stop laughing; it was kind of like the week before when I had what I thought was a mild case of hysteria over a joke that Jenn W. and I shared. This was worse, though. I coulnd't breathe and kept making this weird noise, and Gabby came in and told me I sounded like a zebra. Then Casse and I said the same exact, weird random thing (too rude to reprint, I think,) and I told her that I was going to read her mind. And then I did, which was very startling for both of us. I told her, "Okay, no wyou read my mind. What number am I thinking? And who am I thinking of doing it with?" Which I found so hilarious that I'm putting it as a line of dialogue in every story I write from now on. ;D Only not. Maybe just one.
I realized when I came home that in the last five weeks or so, I've done more hysterical laughing than I had in the entire previous year. I don't know if that's because things have just, for whatever reason, been funnier, or if there's something wrong with me. O_o
Friday night Meghan came over. There wasn't time to do much except say hi and chill out for a little while before I was off to bed because I had to get up early Saturday for two classes. Oh, hold up: we did play some KH2, because I remember that at around 11 PM I finished a chapter and got the message that said "A new episode was added!" When I wondered aloud, "a new episode to what?" Meghan said, "your face" and I cracked up laughing. That had to be Friday. It was, because that's the night we had the huge thunderstorm and the electricity went out. I was actually video recording the lightning when the big bolt struck and knocked out the electric. It was neat, but the rest of the night was miserable, because I couldn't have my white-noise maker thing on, or the air conditioner, and it was way too quiet for me to sleep. Then Trisky freaked out all night and would not let me sleep; she kept poking me with her nose to wake me up everytime it would thunder.
Saturday morning I was on NO SLEEP and Hula was vaguely unsatisfying. Mostly we all just talked about things that I felt we could discuss over email instead of during class time when we should have been working. But we did begin the Hawaiian Wedding Song which we want to do at Michelle's wedding, so hopefully we can get that one down before then.
Then at Kung Fu we did the sticks again, only this time Erica suggested that Chris and I do them together. This is where you do the actual fighting drill, hut you do it against each other, hitting each other's sticks. I always try to go slowly, but I'm so impatient. I don't want to learn things, I want to know them right away. I kept going to fast and forgetting where I was, and at one point I almost hit him right in the face, which would have been a tragedy. Then we went outside and did the beginning of what I think is the first staff form. I liked it very much and felt like less of a moron than I did when I first picked up the staff and wondered why this long piece of wood had the power to turn me into a moron. We went outside in the parking lot and Chris did the entire staff form, and I was stunned at how exactly like Kilik's moves these were. I know SCIII used motion capture, so it makes sense, but it still really startled me. After everyone else left, I hung around with Iris outside as she waited for her parents to come and pick her up. They were about twenty minutes late, but I couldn't leave her to wait by herself in the parking lot, which is still a little creepy in broad daylight. You don't do that to your training brothers and sisters, you know? Well, you don't do that to anyone I guess.
Back home, Meghan and I played KH2, and I think I'm very nearly done with it. There is no possible way for me to beat Sephiroth, so I see that I'm going to have to download the super special secret ending from youtube or something. Why does Sephiroth have to torment me?! (Or as Meghan calls him, WTF-iroth.) Then Saturday night we made my parents watch Advent Children on the TV and ate loads more ice cream.
On Sunday Mom and I took Meghan out birthday shopping. I got her the new Mario Cart and Sims 2 for Gamecube. SHe played that most of the day and then Sunday night (last night, that is,) we watched old Monty Python tapes and, well, ate more ice cream. All told, this week I must have eaten about 3/4 of a gallon of it. Bad, bad. But now Meg is back home. Hopefully next time she comes to visit it will be warm enough to go swimming. All we've had this week is rain.
Last night I had a dream about 30 Seconds to Mars. I wonder why?
First some background. Every night before bed I go out and look at the sky and the trees, even in the winter when it's frigid. I'm sort of in love with the night sky and the stars in a weird way; I get obsessed with it. Last night there was this gorgeous onshore breeze right off the ocean, and I guess this all kind of stuck with me.
So in my dream I was at the beach, trying to figure out a way to go and see this band in concert, which I would really love to do although my chances are very slim right now. (Managing to snag a ticket to CBGBs AND getting that day off work is really my only chance.) So I was thinking this through, wondering how I could fit in in with everything else that I have going on, feeling very bleak about it.
As it happens in dreams, the scene changed and I was in my own yard looking at the stars, feeling like Cinderella who can't go to the ball, when from behind my aviary I heard someone laughing. I turned around to see Matt Wachter--that's the band's bassist--sort of trying to hide the fact that he found something funny. I asked him, "What?" He shrugged but looked very knowing. (It's funny in dreams; one second I'm pitying myself over not going to see them in concert, and in the next I am completely unphased by the bass guitarist giggling behind my aviary.) He asked me where the ocean was and I told him, "About seven miles South of here."
Then I turned back around and saw Jared standing behind me. He said something pithy, though I don't remember exactly what it was. It had something to do with doing what you want or living the way you like or reaching. I think it was something he said in an interview that I read recently that stuck with me. I did something I'd never do in real life: I spoke rudely to him for no reason and said, "Platitudes. They don't really accomplish much."
Matt laughed again and waved it off like, "Nothing, whatever."
I turned back to Jared and now he was laughing, too, and I started to feel like I was the moron of this scenario. Jared said, "What's the fascination with the sky? When I said [whatever it was he said before] I meant this."
Then he picked me up by the waist and threw me into the sky, I mean, totally into space. I thought this was all incredibly fun and started laughing. I looked down and couldn't see the Earth anymore, just points of light in clusters everywhere. At first I thought that they were stars, but then I realized that I had become immeasurably tiny and they were photons. My back started tingling or itching or something, and I looked over my shoulder and saw these curving lines of light behind me like wings and I thought, "Those wings work on polarity, positive and negative electromagnetic forces. So I guess flying makes perfect sense after all." (Christ, not in a Winter Rose way. I can tell bizarre dreams from real life.)
I looked down again and saw huge flares of fire. They didn't fit in with the "photon" theory, but that didn't really bother me; it just looked really cool.
I said to myself, "This must be what it's like between lives," and then I woke up.
Jared Leto did say something in an interview that stuck with me, and it was a platitude, although I don't doubt his sincerity. It was something like, "live your dream, no matter how old or young you are." Which, you know, is very easy to say. (Which is not to imply that he didn't work very hard indeed and make many sacrifices to get where he is, and it would be equally easy for me to say that reaching one's goal is considerably less complicated for beautiful people, which I'm not going to say because that's a cop-out. Although I do think there is some glimmer of truth in it.) It's easy to say, hard to do, and bravo to him for doing it. And because he struck me as sincere when he said it, I actually thought about it. Yeah, you know, live your dreams, what the hell is stopping you! Get out there and do something! Sometimes hearing things like that makes me feel guilty, and I wonder why I'm not doing more, like for instance traveling around the world and starring in movies and skydiving and other fabulous things. I dwelled on it for a whole day, as you can see from that last entry with the Goethe quote. It made me wonder what exactly my dreams were, because they change depending on what I'm into during any given month or year.
One of my dreams has always been to play Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. I just always thought I could do such an interesting job with that role. So I looked into the Hapmtons Shakespeare Festival thing and I considered sending in a resume for that. Then I thought, "Do I really want to do that? Is that really such a significant dream that the other, more reachable and long-term ones need to sit and simmer for a while?" And then I thought, "Am I talking myself out of it because it's too hard?" That's my problem; I don't know what I really want. Then sometimes I think that really my dream is to have a nice, little Hula company and halau, to teach Hula until I'm ancient, to live life surrounded by my laughng family and friends, pets, flowers, the ocean, the salt air, go practice my Kung Fu a few times a week, have a kid, publish my book travel more some day. Then I wonder, Are those worthy of being "dreams"? Are they too modest? Are they too outlandish? Is that asking too much, or too little? And most of all, is that really all I want? I really don't know. When I think of those things, it makes me happy to imagine that they might come true.
On the other hand, when I think about those fantasies that pretty much everyone has but only like 20 people in the entire known world ever achieve as reality, or having a grand, mysterious, romantic adventure in Italy, or doing a movie or something crazy like that, that seems fantastic also and it makes me happy to imagine that it might come true.
Is there a line between attainable dreams and stupid fantasy? Does that line exist for everyone? That's what I don't know.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-26 08:23 pm (UTC)You can beat him! YOU CAN DO IT. You just gotta be like level 80 and have the Ultima Weapon and stuff... and get really damn lucky. The cutscenes are neat. =D
Is that part of the requirements for the secret ending, too? *cheated and downloaded*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-26 08:39 pm (UTC)