Love each other

[la_belle_laide]

Tuesday right before my chem final I was sitting with Gran and talking to her. I That was after she had gotten up and walked around and she said that it was so great she did that after the doctors told her she wouldn't. She had to have the last word on that. ^_^ I told her I had my chem final and she said, "You'll do fine," and I told her I hoped I would, but the day after that I had a final that I didn't think I could pass. She said:

"You'll do great no matter what, baby."

I told her "Thanks Gran. I'll see you later okay?" I gave her a kiss and she said:

"See ya later, sweetieface."

While I was in school, Chrissie visited her and talked to her a while. She told Grandma, "You did a good job with us, you know?" And Gran said:

"Of course! When there's a lot, there's always a few honeypots in the bunch."

Then she watched a little TV and went to sleep. At some time she woke up and looked at what was probably a picture of me and said, "Meghan" a few times. (Incidentally, when Spencer saw her last I think the last thing she said to him was, "My handsome boy.")

Tuesday night was when it started to get worse and worse and for all of wednesday and today she could no longer breathe but kept trying anyway. That's the only thing I would change, if I could. And I would have gotten the gardenias that would have bloomed sooner but I didn't think it would be this fast

Yesterday she woke up for a few minutes and told my Mom, "Love each other." Then she went back to sleep.

Mom, Dad, Chrissie and I stayed with her till around 3:30 this morning, and none of us knew what she was waiting for. Then we thought, well maybe she doesn't want us around when she goes? So Chrissie and I left. We both figured she wouldn't make it through the night but this morning, she was still here. She seemed a lot calmer too.

Around 2:30, Chrissie brought Celie over and then it was just Mom, me, Chrissie and Celie. We sat around her and finally we started talking, and laughing about when the three of us were kids and how we were her "old school" girls--and we are--and all the fun we all had growing up together and then, at 3:12 while we were all sitting there talking, she stopped and it was real quiet. It was like she was waiting for all of us to be together.

These are two pictures from last Spring which I love:




And this is the last pic I have of Gran, from Gavin's birthday party at the end of February:
.

I had been keeping track of everything she was saying, as you can see. She wasn't alone at any time so the last thing she said to anyone was "love each other."

Comments

Gran

[(Anonymous)]

Miss T here. I don't ever usually come on LJ but I wanted to say that those are some amazing last words from an amazing lady. I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie. My thoughts are with you and your family. You should all feel honoured for knowing such a great person xxxxxx

Re: Gran

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you Misty, I really do feel honored. :)

[spatterdash.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss, but grateful to hear she went so peacefully, amidst family, imparting wisdom.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thanks; I am, too. :)

Granny K

[(Anonymous)]

I don't even know what to say. I'm sitting here crying, and I guess it was pretty loud because my Mom just asked what was wrong. I told her. She probably doesn't understand how a person that I met over a period of 24 hours could have such a lasting impact on me and how her death could hit me so hard. But I don't really care if anyone understands or not, you just kind of had to be there with us(me, Smoke, Jules, and Fimmy).

Jules, I'm thinking of you and your whole family during this time. Actually, I don't think I've stopped thinking about you guys since that mad freakin' hot day in September.

I just feel so damn lucky to be able to say that I met and got a hug from such a special lady, and she's absolutely right, "love each other". Because, that's all that really means anything anyways.

Love,
Solly

Re: Granny K

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

THank you Solly. As I said, I'm so glad that you got to meet her and she got to meet you, Smoke and Fim. :)

[reanimated.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry, sweetie. *big hugs*

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^_^

Granny K

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure your Gran went happy knowing her family was around her. I'm sure she would have wanted it that way and she got it that way. I just don't know what to say sweetie.

Re: Granny K

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

I think you're right. Thank you. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, forgot to say that was Miss T again.

[flamingchords.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. Keeping in mind that we're a country away, anything I can do?

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thanks Loki. :) I appreciate it. You know, it's all pretty mellow, just sad. Thank you. *hugs*

[skitty-kitty.livejournal.com]

Mucho hugs for you and your family missy. I'm really glad she got to pass with you guys, surrounded by your love and happiness. I'm also sorry you have to miss someone you cared so much about. *squish*

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thanks so very much, Izumi-chan. You have been so kind this entire time. :)

[danalwyn.livejournal.com]

There's never anything you can say that helps with losing a loved one, but it seems that there was no place she would have rather left this Earth then the place she did, surrounded by the people she loved. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that the memory of her will continue to live with you forever.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I think that you're right, and it really helps to hear someone else say that.

[silverhawthorn.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Jules, but I'm also grateful that you've shared your grandmother with us. What a unique woman, and what beautiful last words.

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. *hugs*

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thanks TJ. :) Unique is the exact word. She has always been her own person.

Thank you.

[shikei-and-cz.livejournal.com]

You are ALWAYS in our hearts, Jay, even if we don't chat at each other much. *hugs* This suddenly seems to be the season where so many of our friends are losing their loved ones. ;_;

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ♥ You guys both mean a lot to me.

You know, it's so true about Spring. I wonder why that is? But almost everyone I've lost, I've lost in the springtime. April really is the cruelest month?

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for sharing this with us. What amazing final words.

Of course, I don't know what to say. When I lost my grandmother, I heard countless platitudes. What really mattered was that I knew I'd done what she'd have wanted: making sure her favorite song was sung at the wake, dressing her in her favorite color.

I know in my heart you can say the same for your Gran.

Best thoughts,
Becki

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you Becki. I know what you mean about those platitudes, and I just have to try to have patience when I get the "she's in a better place" kind of stuff. People mean well and that's what matters.

You're right: the best thing to do is whatever you think would resonate with her. And that's what I'm going to try to do. :)

[tongari.livejournal.com]

i don't know what to say. been sitting here half an hour thinking about it. i'm so sorry for your loss. but i'm glad your grandmama had people she loved all around her, who love her and one another, all the time, not just towards the end. there's no tragedy in living a full wonderful life and leaving a legacy of love like that behind. in fact it seems it was the most important thing she wanted to remind you about; not how she wanted to be remembered or anything, just that you should love one another.

thinking of you and your family,
hwei

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, Hwei. And you are so right about her life, and what she left behind, for the people who love her. Most people aren't so lucky. ^_^ Her last words were so generous. You just made me think of that. :)

It's good to see you around LJ, I miss you!

[lauraceleste.livejournal.com]

I got through this and suddenly it hit me in the face that you were talking in the past tense. Wiping away tears now.

<<<<<<<<< HUGS >>>>>>>>>

You were better having had her for a time. I'm glad you shared her legacy with us. Especially those last three words. This world could do some good by following that simple concept. Just imagine.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) You're right: more people should follow that advice. I know that I hope I always can. ^_^

[arianadream.livejournal.com]

It's interesting, I've heard that sometimes people won't pass away until they're alone. It happened with my dad. We were there with him, and at some point we all went out into the dining room and the three of us were sitting there at the table, looking at pictures of him in the photo album, remembering the good times, and when we went to check on him again, he was gone. I'd read about that in the literature hospice gave us, that sometimes it happens that way.

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your grandmother. It sounds like she was a very special lady, and I'm pleased that you have the final memories of her that you do. Sounds like she passed away peacefully with her family near, and it's hard to ask for more than that. My thoughts are with you.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

I'd heard about that too, and that's what I was thinking the night before; that she wanted us to be out of the room. But then it became clear what was going on when her daughter and three grandaughters (me and my two cousins) were there. I think she wanted to know we were all together, like when we were kids. I hope that's what she was thinking of, because she always said those were her favorite days. :)