(no subject)

[la_belle_laide]

I guess it's pretty safe to say that Grandma is really not doing very well. According to her doctor and cardiologist, she can go a few months at the most with her heart the way it is now. A month, two, three, obviously you can never really know. So as of now I'm not sure if I'm going to China because it's up in the air how long she actually has, and the last thing I'd want is to be so far away if she dies.

Last night was pretty bad. She's pretty lucid during the day but then at night she doesn't know where she is, who she's with or what year it is. And more than that, she's pissed off. She kicks, bites and screams at people. She keeps asking for Grampa, too.

I hope Gran can come home and have a last springtime here where she can see her garden without having too much pain and frustration; that's about the best I can hope.

Believe me, apart from the stress of all the hospital stuff and not knowing where I, or anyone will be a few weeks from now, I'm pretty okay. I adore my Grandma and we are so close, but knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do about it surprisingly takes some of the edge off.

I'm sure it will be different when she's gone, because I love her so much and I am so used to seeing her every day or so in her garden. But for right now I'm dealing and so is everyone else, sort of.

I'm sorry also if there are tons of typos in here because a patchof my screen s is covered up by my brightness-contrast thing which won't get off my desktop and keeps randomly resetting the monitor settings. I think I have that conficker worm thing. >_

Comments

Hey you

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Tough decisions for you to make. Be glad that you will have the time to say the things you want to your Gran while she's here. Make the most of it.

I know it may sound weird, but even at the end of her life, you can still have a beautiful time with her. Cherish her while you can. China isn't going anywhere.

Great big hug for you and Gran. xoxox

Jennicula

Re: Hey you

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

You are so right, Jenn. Thank you so much. I so hope she gets to go home and see her flowers and her dog. I don't want anyof this to be filled with sadness.

Too right you are. :)

[torkell]

Someone's come up with a quick check for Conficker: go to this page at the Conficker Working Group's site. If any images are missing then you're infected (Conficker blocks access to some antivirus websites). The rest of the site has more information and removal tools.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. Although TBH my computer can wait.

[skitty-kitty.livejournal.com]

Hugs to you, miss.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

I'll definitely take them, Izumi-chan, thank you. :)

[coffeerama.com (from livejournal.com)]

I've heard from multiple sources that the Conficker worm wouldn't be a threat to Mac users, thank goodness

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm glad? But A) I don't have a mac and B) the rest of my post is somewhat more of an issue, in case you hadn't noticed. Have we met?

[(Anonymous)]

Miss you. I know you are going through some rough stuff right now and I'm sorry. I think you had some exams today? If so, I know you did awesome cuz you are just awesome like that. Give my love to your family and give your Gran a hug from me. And Haku, too!

♥ you!

---Smoke---