Reviewing a movie! Do not distrub!
Nov. 30th, 2003 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideIf you distrub me, I will become very distrubed.
Swordfish, ladies and gents. Coupla things. First of all, this was a really messy, uneconomical, loose and waggly plot that might have been saved by the good acting if it hadn't sent itself into CARCHASEOMGWTFBLOWSTUFFUP!!!!!!!! hell halfway through. It started out really good, and Travolta's movie commentary in the beginning was really snarky and fun. Travolta was pretty good. He usually is, and I'm usually reluctant to admit it, because I'm not fond of him for some reason. I can't put my finger on why, because he's a decent actor who seems to have a lot of fun. He does tend to play the same character again and again (he was the same guy in this that he was in [half of] the ridiculous Face/Off,) but he plays this guy pretty well.
See, at first the movie was all pretty tight and straightforward, with the computer hacking and worm-creating and security and double-crossing. But then somewhere in the middle of the movie, Travolta's character makes a reference to misdirection, and you go, "okay, so the movie has or is going to misdirect us," and then sometime after that there is a buttload of shooting and explosions, and then the doublecrossing turns into triplecrossing and misdirection turns into lack of direction for the plot, and to be honest, I sat there scratching my head at the end of the movie. And no, I didn't miss the part with the body in the freezer. And then they attached a bus to a helicopter and flew it all around the city, and it was stupid and annoying and pointless and I wanted all the slick computer stuff back. This movie got lost, and it lost me along the way.
There was this one part when Huge and Don Cheadle and a bunch of his agents go rolling down this hill for just about ever, and all I could think of was Bill and Ted falling down the hole into hell and screaming, then stopping for a while for Ted to comment, "Dude, this is a really long hole," and then they play twenty questions. That scene was unintentionally funny for that reason. Don Cheadle was pretty good, and he looked awfully familiar to me. IMDB tells me he was in Rush Hour 2, but I seem to remember him from Traffic and Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. Camryn Grimes as Huge's daughter Holly was really adorable and convincing, but almost a little bit too adult in her way of acting. The hacker Axel Torvalds was really sort of Alex Krycek-ish (or would that be Krycekian?) and that put me in an X Files Mytharc kind of mood. I don't mean Rudolph Marten, the guy who played him, I just mean the character reminded me of Krycek.
Hugh Jackman says the line, "You're f*cking up my chi," and I had to think of the people I work with, because I'm always telling them about people who mess with my chi and that phrase throws some of them off, and it's since become a kind of inside joke at work. And Huge also plays golf half nakie, and that is really quite something to see. Then, he does angst really well, and I think he should do angst more often, because it is quite the beautiful thing when he does angst. Then there is this one scene with him and a chick named Helga and a computer and a room full of people which just about made my eyes leap out of my skull like in the cartoons, and I just kind of chewed on my ice cream spoon feeling somewhere in the vicinity of riveted and disgusted and fascinated and completely unable to look away from his perfect face nonetheless. Why, Huge! Who'd've guessed? Looking all polite the way you do and all; that's totally unfair.
Actually, it is unfair. No one should be lucky enough to have that sort of face and at the same time be mean enough to be so inaccessible to me. ;) (It's all about me, you know.) And![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
minrho, I'm wondering if you knew all about the long hair and things and stuff? Totally unfair.
Well, I'm just going to clean up all this estrogen here and then think about other things for a while.
But first, LQ's wangst of the evening: "Drowning amidst this sea of poison. I've been inexorably entrapped unto this prison. Please release me.
Current mood: Tired. Lonely. Used up. Please leave be.
At the moment: Sleeping. Have a long day of work a head of me. So, do not distrub. For, distrubing a depressed person can have serious reprecussions."
Okay then!
Swordfish, ladies and gents. Coupla things. First of all, this was a really messy, uneconomical, loose and waggly plot that might have been saved by the good acting if it hadn't sent itself into CARCHASEOMGWTFBLOWSTUFFUP!!!!!!!! hell halfway through. It started out really good, and Travolta's movie commentary in the beginning was really snarky and fun. Travolta was pretty good. He usually is, and I'm usually reluctant to admit it, because I'm not fond of him for some reason. I can't put my finger on why, because he's a decent actor who seems to have a lot of fun. He does tend to play the same character again and again (he was the same guy in this that he was in [half of] the ridiculous Face/Off,) but he plays this guy pretty well.
See, at first the movie was all pretty tight and straightforward, with the computer hacking and worm-creating and security and double-crossing. But then somewhere in the middle of the movie, Travolta's character makes a reference to misdirection, and you go, "okay, so the movie has or is going to misdirect us," and then sometime after that there is a buttload of shooting and explosions, and then the doublecrossing turns into triplecrossing and misdirection turns into lack of direction for the plot, and to be honest, I sat there scratching my head at the end of the movie. And no, I didn't miss the part with the body in the freezer. And then they attached a bus to a helicopter and flew it all around the city, and it was stupid and annoying and pointless and I wanted all the slick computer stuff back. This movie got lost, and it lost me along the way.
There was this one part when Huge and Don Cheadle and a bunch of his agents go rolling down this hill for just about ever, and all I could think of was Bill and Ted falling down the hole into hell and screaming, then stopping for a while for Ted to comment, "Dude, this is a really long hole," and then they play twenty questions. That scene was unintentionally funny for that reason. Don Cheadle was pretty good, and he looked awfully familiar to me. IMDB tells me he was in Rush Hour 2, but I seem to remember him from Traffic and Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. Camryn Grimes as Huge's daughter Holly was really adorable and convincing, but almost a little bit too adult in her way of acting. The hacker Axel Torvalds was really sort of Alex Krycek-ish (or would that be Krycekian?) and that put me in an X Files Mytharc kind of mood. I don't mean Rudolph Marten, the guy who played him, I just mean the character reminded me of Krycek.
Hugh Jackman says the line, "You're f*cking up my chi," and I had to think of the people I work with, because I'm always telling them about people who mess with my chi and that phrase throws some of them off, and it's since become a kind of inside joke at work. And Huge also plays golf half nakie, and that is really quite something to see. Then, he does angst really well, and I think he should do angst more often, because it is quite the beautiful thing when he does angst. Then there is this one scene with him and a chick named Helga and a computer and a room full of people which just about made my eyes leap out of my skull like in the cartoons, and I just kind of chewed on my ice cream spoon feeling somewhere in the vicinity of riveted and disgusted and fascinated and completely unable to look away from his perfect face nonetheless. Why, Huge! Who'd've guessed? Looking all polite the way you do and all; that's totally unfair.
Actually, it is unfair. No one should be lucky enough to have that sort of face and at the same time be mean enough to be so inaccessible to me. ;) (It's all about me, you know.) And
minrho, I'm wondering if you knew all about the long hair and things and stuff? Totally unfair.Well, I'm just going to clean up all this estrogen here and then think about other things for a while.
But first, LQ's wangst of the evening: "Drowning amidst this sea of poison. I've been inexorably entrapped unto this prison. Please release me.
Current mood: Tired. Lonely. Used up. Please leave be.
At the moment: Sleeping. Have a long day of work a head of me. So, do not distrub. For, distrubing a depressed person can have serious reprecussions."
Okay then!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-11-30 10:18 pm (UTC)Damn. Don Cheadle was in sw? Say it aint so!
I think I might see Van Helsing, despite the hair. It looks kinda mullet-y in certain shots, but that could just be his bangs or something.
"Drowning amidst this sea of poison. I've been inexorably entrapped unto this prison. Please release me.
Current mood: Tired. Lonely. Used up. Please leave be."
In other words: I know I sound lame, don't call me on it? ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 07:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 08:57 am (UTC)