Summer thoughts

As it gets close to the end of summer, I'm starting to realize that we only get, I don't know, maybe 7, maybe 8 ocean days per year. Not counting those times we go in the fall, or Spring. Those don't exactly count, because I'm really talking about those lush, humid, hot summer days when you can actually go into the water. So even if we went every other week, sometimes two weeks in a row, it only comes out to 6-8 or so days per summer. Really not a lot. Which is weird, because, sure, next year we can go again, but next year, Callum will be two. Two is really different to one. Babies and kids change so rapidly. With adult friends and family, you kind of don't change as much, so you can recreate some of those moments from the past. But I only have that handful of days at the ocean with a one-year-old. And then a handful with a two-year-old. Etc. It's weird and kind of sad, right?

Last week, we had our “pre-Disney” summer party. “We” in this case was: Me, CJ, my Mom, Spence, his gf Natasha (I really like this kid, she is a great girl!) Meg, Chrissie, Tim, Gavin, Mason, my Uncle Don, and his gf Jen. We used to do those parties with Gran and my Dad, of course. This was the first one without them. So it was tough. And the trip is going to be tough, too. But still, I'm looking forward to it so much! I'm stoked beyond the telling of it. It's two more months. And we'll only be there for 6 days. But that's enough, I think, with a toddler, and with boarding the dogs. That's really my biggest worry, actually. I know CJ's going to have the Disney melt-downs, and there will be INCIDENTS, and craziness, and I'll probably be way too emotional. But it's just really hard for me to leave the dogs for that long. And I still can't figure out who to get to feed my goldfish, The Doctor, while I'm gone. I have to square that away. Two months is going to fly by. EVERYthing is flying by.

Tomorrow I'm going out kayaking with Dragon. We're taking a sunset kayak tour. Which is super weird, because two years ago, right after I very very very first got pregnant, I went out kayaking on the 28th with Lady Chrysanthemum. I just thought that was weird, you know, the wheel turns and all.

Sunday is already Powwow day! Wasn't I just there a few minutes ago, with tiny little CJ in the Ergo carrier, and my best friend, Glassworker? I bought him a little T shirt, thinking it would be forever until he was big enough to wear it, and he's already worn it a bunch of times. And now CJ will be walking around and probably picking out his own stuff that he wants.

And then on Tuesday, a HitRECord friend of mine from England is coming to visit! Which, EXCITEMENT omg. He's an incredible musician (he did music for a poem that I wrote, and also wrote and sang the wonderful song “Adieu,” for HitRECord On TV, which, HI, we won an Emmy for that show! :D ) and just about the sweetest person.

And then I start teaching a Hula class on Mondays in September – hopefully. If more people sign up.

I took a Saturday off mid-September, too, to have a yard sale. Maybe I can make some Disney money.

Then October and Disney and then Thanksgiving and Christmas and then the loooooooong, loooooong stretch of winter that I can't even bear to think about yet. I'm still not over last winter ffs. I can't deal with another like that. It was too much.

I'm always afraid to say, “Who knows what will be different next year?” because, literally, the last time I wrote that in my LJ, my Gran and my Dad passed within four months of each other. So, I'm not going to say that. I am going to hope that the rest of the year (oh, let's get ambitious and say the next TWENTY years!) can be as good as this summer has been. Even though things change so quickly, can it still be this good? I am going to hope that I will sign with a really rad literary agent (I've still got two manuscripts out, and still waiting to hear back from either or both agents.) I will hope to have less anxiety in general about things. Or, really, to work on that a bit, because it's not going to go away on its own.

Oh, while I'm here: CJ has six teeth, four donor siblings (though I've only been in contact with two families,) and a handful of words and phrases. Words like: hat, out, ant, balloon (“umboooon,”) and “AT?” while pointing to something, asking me to repeat what it is. And the same phrases he's always used: “I did it!” when I tell him he's done something well, OR when I tell him not to do something for pete's sake, (or, “THEY did it!” when I tell the dogs they're good,) and “It's good-good!” when he's eating oatmeal, or when I tell him something is “yucky” and not to eat it. :/ He plays ball, and has an orange car that he loves; a fuzzy, pink rocking horse that he likes to play with but will not sit on; a Mickey Mouse train; a musical chair; various Lilo and Stitch dolls etc. But given the choice, he'll always play with a DVD, remote control, the air purifier, or my cell phone. He loves books more than anything—ANYTHING—and is obsessed with “Go, Dog, Go,” and “Beep Beep.” He likes anything that says “beep beep,” which he copies by grunting twice. And he likes bees, which he calls “DIZ!” because of the buzzing. And he does animal noises, too, and a Donald Duck voice. Sort of. ^_^

I should really update LJ more often, but I get so lazy. CJ goes in for a nap and I usually just sit there looking at Tumblr and reading the stupid, depressing news. I always say that, but I never do it.

Since it's on my mind right now, I'd better go check Amazon for a fish self-feeder or something, and maybe a timer to turn the lights on and off.

I will absolutely check in with LJ more often. Will absolutely try. ^_^;;