douchebags

So I'm at school now on my crackberry and there are two atomic douchebombs in this class and I can hardly even take it. I want to vomit right into their faces with the force of a tsunami.

Douche 1 is the guy who thought you crapped out of your uterus that first day. Today he got two wrong on the labeling test and argued with the professor that he was right. See, he had to be right. Guys like this are never wrong. If he says the superior vena cava is a valve, then goddamnit it is. The teacher must have written the test wrong.

The professor asked "can anyone tell me what the K is for in EKG?" And D-1 said, "Kilograms?"

OMG. He texts and sleeps through most of the class, swings his gym bag around every time he gets up, and he just spent twenty minutes loudly rubbing and rotating his forearm during class to let us all know, "Hey, I work out." When really all it said to me was, "I spent about an hour jerking off to German porn."

Then there's D-2. He's this typical noisy Guido midget, which is a total affectation. Every conversation must include "BUT AHM ITALIAN YO" and he uses it as an excuse for when he's acting like an ass, which is always. He came in today (late) loudly proclaiming it a national holiday "'cause it's my boithday!" He told the professor he "shud be honnah'ed 'cause I came ta class tah-day!"

He has this one friend, a girl, and he loudly says rude, sexist and embarrassing things to her under the pretense of not knowing he's being a douche, and when she calls him one, he goes "Well SAWWRY, jeez. I can't help it, AHM ITALIAN."

No, douche. Other people are Italian. You're just a dil-hole.

I wish I could love this class, but these people make me want to commit crimes.

douchebags

So I'm at school now on my crackberry and there are two atomic douchebombs in this class and I can hardly even take it. I want to vomit right into their faces with the force of a tsunami.

Douche 1 is the guy who thought you crapped out of your uterus that first day. Today he got two wrong on the labeling test and argued with the professor that he was right. See, he had to be right. Guys like this are never wrong. If he says the superior vena cava is a valve, then goddamnit it is. The teacher must have written the test wrong.

The professor asked "can anyone tell me what the K is for in EKG?" And D-1 said, "Kilograms?"

OMG. He texts and sleeps through most of the class, swings his gym bag around every time he gets up, and he just spent twenty minutes loudly rubbing and rotating his forearm during class to let us all know, "Hey, I work out." When really all it said to me was, "I spent about an hour jerking off to German porn."

Then there's D-2. He's this typical noisy Guido midget, which is a total affectation. Every conversation must include "BUT AHM ITALIAN YO" and he uses it as an excuse for when he's acting like an ass, which is always. He came in today (late) loudly proclaiming it a national holiday "'cause it's my boithday!" He told the professor he "shud be honnah'ed 'cause I came ta class tah-day!"

He has this one friend, a girl, and he loudly says rude, sexist and embarrassing things to her under the pretense of not knowing he's being a douche, and when she calls him one, he goes "Well SAWWRY, jeez. I can't help it, AHM ITALIAN."

No, douche. Other people are Italian. You're just a dil-hole.

I wish I could love this class, but these people make me want to commit crimes.