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la_belle_laideSlight spoilers throughout! Major spoilers will be cut-tagged. If you are spoiler sensitive like me, you may not want to read it at all.
It's a real shame when you're sitting in the theater, watching the end credits to a movie you should have adored, snarkily thinking, "Jesus, I could have written better dialogue." It's a shame when you're in a movie theater watching one of the most anticipated films of the year, and you can say the exact dialogue along with the characters and you've never seen the film before or even heard anything about it. The dialogue was that bad, and that predictable.
But it wasn't all terrible, and there were parts about it that I loved.
First of all, it wasn't as bad as "Reloaded." I'm not sure I could even sit through Reloaded again; this one I could sit through again, even if I did have to leave for a while or, in the case of a DVD, fast forward through the five hours of (in cheesy, wiggly, 1950's horror film lettering,) "The Invasion Of ZION!" Because I swear to god, that scene went on for-freaking-ever, and the soundtrack during it was so, hmm...I don't want to use the word "bad"...vintage? Nah. I want to use the word "bad." The music during that part was bad. It served to heighten the feeling that I was in a drive-in sometime in the 50's, eating popcorn in a Chevy. When the bigass drill-y screw-y machine came charging in (for about thirty minutes,) I sort of expected it to be carrying a screaming, bikini-clad blonde woman in its metal claw or something. The whole scene had that vibe for me. The swarming sentinals (those squid-like things) were pretty cool...ONCE! How the hell many times do we have to see those things come flying in? And all the characters go, "gasp! A thousand of them! We're DOOMED! Time for another speech or a soul-rending, desperate war cry! Look! We rally! *Gasp!* Now there are TENS of thousands! We're doomed! Troops, scream a lot in your big mobile suit looking things!" (Which actually reminded me of that thing that Ripley used in Alien. "Get away from her, you bitch!" Or was that Aliens?) "Oh! *Gasp!* Here come MILLIONS of those sentinal things! Now we are really doomed, even more doomed than we were before!" And so on. You think that this review is boring? Try sitting through that part of the movie.
The biggest problem I had was with the cliches, which were so overdone that they were funny. I've never seen Star Trek, but I've seen enough parodies of it to know that parts of this movie had a definite "Star Trek parody" feel to it. Which is sad, because the first one didn't take itself as seriously and was that much more brilliant for it. The first movie just had fun with itself, was slick, beautifully streamlined with an economical plot and was just very fresh. This movie had that "not so fresh" feeling.
And again, Neo and Trinity have no chemistry at all, and I think it would have been better if they'd remained the distant, slick, slightly chilly heroes they were in the first one.
Morpheus did nothing. Seraph did nothing. Trinity and Neo did next to nothing for the first ten hours of this film. The guy in the mobile suit did a lot of yelling. Merovingian served as a deus ex machina early in the film, and afterwards did nothing. Sati and her "family" seemed to be thrown in just to prove that some machines/programs had some sort of redeeming quality (their own brand of "love," which is just something that compels others to do things for others, but nonetheless is compelling and meaningful on all levels,) so that when Neo asked for peace instead of total freedom, it would seem more like mercy and fairness than surrender. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me. Still, it's interesting to think about.
On a totally sad note, I was so sorry for the loss of Gloria Foster, the awesome woman who played the Oracle in the first two movies. I hadn't realized she'd died until I saw this film and they'd replaced her. I think they did the best they could within the story to explain that.
But no, the whole thing didn't suck. There were things about it that I loved, even though they were fleeting, and sort of got ignored in favor of all the fireworks and yelling and "*Gasp* Zion is doomed!!!!!111!!" stuff.
For instance, Hugo Weaving. (You knew I was going to say that. ^_^ ) He seems to be the only one left who's still having a blast with his role, who can still give us a big, cheesy grin, an effusive, sweeping style, and take up the whole screen, not just because there are hundreds of thousands of him. ;D Wise choice also having the last battle between Neo and Smith be one on one, instead of repeating the "Dogpile on Keanu" scene in the last one. Because though that was fun to watch, it was fun to watch once.
I adored the fact that Neo went the last half of the film physically blind. I loved how he found that he could still see. I loved him obliterating every machine in his path, and I wish they would have used more of that, not because it was a cool effect (it was,) but because it was such an interesting idea. And yeah, I'm a whore for such things, and it looked really awesome when he did that, especially that one scene in the ship when they all sort of went through him in that gold light. That was sexy.
Speaking of sexy, the whole last battle between Neo and Smith in the rain had a really sexy feel to it. Again, they did overdo the "EXPLOSION! BIGGER EXPLOSION! Wait, you thought that last one was big, wait till you see THIS EXPLOSION!" thing, but I dunno, it just seemed sort of orgasmic everytime they clashed. And when Smith took Neo down for the first time in that wet, plummeting embrace, that was pleasing on so many levels. ;) (Say what you will about Keanu Reeves, but he's still cute and good to look at, and I give him points for trying. His acting isn't consistently bad and there are a lot worse actors out there, and he did partly make Neo what he is. I think people just like to pick on him.) And the effects were cool.
Also: Agent Smith! Lightning! Wings! Agent Smith! Lightning Wings! Agent Smith with lightning wings! It's brief, but you can't miss it. :)
Glad that Trinity died, not because I didn't like her (I loved her, in fact, thought she was a terrific character and wonderfully acted by Carrie-Ann Moss who is gorgeous in a totally un-Hollywood, un-cliche way,) but I knew it had to be done. Again, though, the dialogue in her death scene was sad, and definitely not in the, "sob! This is so emotional!" kind of way. More in the "Sob! This really goddamn sucks and my eleven year old cousin could have written it better!" kind of way.
And the ending for Neo? I guess they could have gone a few routes with him, but I was glad that they chose the "thoroughly tapped, wasted, gave-it-all, 'the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
times told lovelier, more dangerous, Oh my chevalier!' all stretched out in sacrifice and dragged away" kinda way. Because I love that kind of crap.
The Oracle made a suggestion at the end that Neo might not be dead, but I think that's nonsense. Neo has to die. He's The One, it's his job. Plus, the whole "Agent Smith/Neo, two sides of the same coin" thing wouldn't work if Neo lived. For Agent Smith to be destroyed Neo has to be destroyed as well.
That's just my mana'o.
One of my friends who is a devout Christian loved the first movie, and noticed all of this Christian symbolism (can't use the word "mythology" around her, but to me that's what it is,) in that one. I'd be lying if I said I didn't see it, too, and one can't help but notice how when the light does come breaking out of Neo, it starts in the shape of a cross. He's dead, dude. He was the sacrifice. I'm glad for that, because that's the way it's supposed to be.
So, while some of it was phenomenally silly, and they did take way too damned long turning Zion into a visually very awesome collapsing inferno , and the dialogue mostly sucked, the parts that were good were still good, and the fleeting parts that were awesome were awesome enough that I'd see it again just for those few seconds, because I'm a whore like that.
It's a real shame when you're sitting in the theater, watching the end credits to a movie you should have adored, snarkily thinking, "Jesus, I could have written better dialogue." It's a shame when you're in a movie theater watching one of the most anticipated films of the year, and you can say the exact dialogue along with the characters and you've never seen the film before or even heard anything about it. The dialogue was that bad, and that predictable.
But it wasn't all terrible, and there were parts about it that I loved.
First of all, it wasn't as bad as "Reloaded." I'm not sure I could even sit through Reloaded again; this one I could sit through again, even if I did have to leave for a while or, in the case of a DVD, fast forward through the five hours of (in cheesy, wiggly, 1950's horror film lettering,) "The Invasion Of ZION!" Because I swear to god, that scene went on for-freaking-ever, and the soundtrack during it was so, hmm...I don't want to use the word "bad"...vintage? Nah. I want to use the word "bad." The music during that part was bad. It served to heighten the feeling that I was in a drive-in sometime in the 50's, eating popcorn in a Chevy. When the bigass drill-y screw-y machine came charging in (for about thirty minutes,) I sort of expected it to be carrying a screaming, bikini-clad blonde woman in its metal claw or something. The whole scene had that vibe for me. The swarming sentinals (those squid-like things) were pretty cool...ONCE! How the hell many times do we have to see those things come flying in? And all the characters go, "gasp! A thousand of them! We're DOOMED! Time for another speech or a soul-rending, desperate war cry! Look! We rally! *Gasp!* Now there are TENS of thousands! We're doomed! Troops, scream a lot in your big mobile suit looking things!" (Which actually reminded me of that thing that Ripley used in Alien. "Get away from her, you bitch!" Or was that Aliens?) "Oh! *Gasp!* Here come MILLIONS of those sentinal things! Now we are really doomed, even more doomed than we were before!" And so on. You think that this review is boring? Try sitting through that part of the movie.
The biggest problem I had was with the cliches, which were so overdone that they were funny. I've never seen Star Trek, but I've seen enough parodies of it to know that parts of this movie had a definite "Star Trek parody" feel to it. Which is sad, because the first one didn't take itself as seriously and was that much more brilliant for it. The first movie just had fun with itself, was slick, beautifully streamlined with an economical plot and was just very fresh. This movie had that "not so fresh" feeling.
And again, Neo and Trinity have no chemistry at all, and I think it would have been better if they'd remained the distant, slick, slightly chilly heroes they were in the first one.
Morpheus did nothing. Seraph did nothing. Trinity and Neo did next to nothing for the first ten hours of this film. The guy in the mobile suit did a lot of yelling. Merovingian served as a deus ex machina early in the film, and afterwards did nothing. Sati and her "family" seemed to be thrown in just to prove that some machines/programs had some sort of redeeming quality (their own brand of "love," which is just something that compels others to do things for others, but nonetheless is compelling and meaningful on all levels,) so that when Neo asked for peace instead of total freedom, it would seem more like mercy and fairness than surrender. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me. Still, it's interesting to think about.
On a totally sad note, I was so sorry for the loss of Gloria Foster, the awesome woman who played the Oracle in the first two movies. I hadn't realized she'd died until I saw this film and they'd replaced her. I think they did the best they could within the story to explain that.
But no, the whole thing didn't suck. There were things about it that I loved, even though they were fleeting, and sort of got ignored in favor of all the fireworks and yelling and "*Gasp* Zion is doomed!!!!!111!!" stuff.
For instance, Hugo Weaving. (You knew I was going to say that. ^_^ ) He seems to be the only one left who's still having a blast with his role, who can still give us a big, cheesy grin, an effusive, sweeping style, and take up the whole screen, not just because there are hundreds of thousands of him. ;D Wise choice also having the last battle between Neo and Smith be one on one, instead of repeating the "Dogpile on Keanu" scene in the last one. Because though that was fun to watch, it was fun to watch once.
I adored the fact that Neo went the last half of the film physically blind. I loved how he found that he could still see. I loved him obliterating every machine in his path, and I wish they would have used more of that, not because it was a cool effect (it was,) but because it was such an interesting idea. And yeah, I'm a whore for such things, and it looked really awesome when he did that, especially that one scene in the ship when they all sort of went through him in that gold light. That was sexy.
Speaking of sexy, the whole last battle between Neo and Smith in the rain had a really sexy feel to it. Again, they did overdo the "EXPLOSION! BIGGER EXPLOSION! Wait, you thought that last one was big, wait till you see THIS EXPLOSION!" thing, but I dunno, it just seemed sort of orgasmic everytime they clashed. And when Smith took Neo down for the first time in that wet, plummeting embrace, that was pleasing on so many levels. ;) (Say what you will about Keanu Reeves, but he's still cute and good to look at, and I give him points for trying. His acting isn't consistently bad and there are a lot worse actors out there, and he did partly make Neo what he is. I think people just like to pick on him.) And the effects were cool.
Also: Agent Smith! Lightning! Wings! Agent Smith! Lightning Wings! Agent Smith with lightning wings! It's brief, but you can't miss it. :)
Glad that Trinity died, not because I didn't like her (I loved her, in fact, thought she was a terrific character and wonderfully acted by Carrie-Ann Moss who is gorgeous in a totally un-Hollywood, un-cliche way,) but I knew it had to be done. Again, though, the dialogue in her death scene was sad, and definitely not in the, "sob! This is so emotional!" kind of way. More in the "Sob! This really goddamn sucks and my eleven year old cousin could have written it better!" kind of way.
And the ending for Neo? I guess they could have gone a few routes with him, but I was glad that they chose the "thoroughly tapped, wasted, gave-it-all, 'the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
times told lovelier, more dangerous, Oh my chevalier!' all stretched out in sacrifice and dragged away" kinda way. Because I love that kind of crap.
The Oracle made a suggestion at the end that Neo might not be dead, but I think that's nonsense. Neo has to die. He's The One, it's his job. Plus, the whole "Agent Smith/Neo, two sides of the same coin" thing wouldn't work if Neo lived. For Agent Smith to be destroyed Neo has to be destroyed as well.
That's just my mana'o.
One of my friends who is a devout Christian loved the first movie, and noticed all of this Christian symbolism (can't use the word "mythology" around her, but to me that's what it is,) in that one. I'd be lying if I said I didn't see it, too, and one can't help but notice how when the light does come breaking out of Neo, it starts in the shape of a cross. He's dead, dude. He was the sacrifice. I'm glad for that, because that's the way it's supposed to be.
So, while some of it was phenomenally silly, and they did take way too damned long turning Zion into a visually very awesome collapsing inferno , and the dialogue mostly sucked, the parts that were good were still good, and the fleeting parts that were awesome were awesome enough that I'd see it again just for those few seconds, because I'm a whore like that.
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Date: 2003-11-07 01:29 am (UTC)I didn't know that she'd passed away, and thought that was actually scripted, to say, what was it? Everything changes, and nothing is ever truly lost. One of the most memorable Sandman quotes.
Wise choice also having the last battle between Neo and Smith be one on one..
And oh did our Smith give the COOLEST reason for it, EVER.
The entire battle between Neo and Smith reminded me of Dragonball. Fly into the sky a good distance apart, panoramic zoom-out, intense close-up on each fighter, gathering of strength / chi / fireball fuel etc, then fly at each other and pummel pummel pummel!! It happened a lot faster than Dragonball usually does, though.
And when Smith took Neo down for the first time in that wet, plummeting embrace, that was pleasing on so many levels.
I have so been waiting for someone else to say that! XD
And the ending for Neo?
Neo's end was very, very satisfying. I saw it coming the minute he was blinded. I wonder if that was Bane's sole purpose in the movie, he didn't do anything else but that was pretty good.. it reinforced the idea of 'from here on there is no turning back even if we achieve what we set out to achieve'. I think he kind of knew there was no happy ending for him, even as he set out to make a happy ending for other people. They did a damn good job with it (I'm not clear how letting Smith assimilate him allowed Smith to die - did it allow the Machines to delete Smith, or was it being in Neo's body that destroyed Smith? but anyway..), and I REALLY like how he didn't use any special I-Am-The-One(TM) powers to defeat his enemy. He seemed to realise that he had to lose, just once and in his biggest battle ever and with the greatest personal cost to himself, in order to win the war.
Sillily, I loved the 'driving' comments made by the captain of the ship Naobi was piloting back to Zion: 'Shit, that woman can drive!' (which had me and flatmate #2 giggling and saying 'yeah, she got SPATIAL ABILITY*!) and by Naobi herself about the ship: 'Damn she's got a fat ass!' [*we have this argument that I can't parallel park because women have less spatial ability. it is true though that I can't parallel park.]
On a silly note, half the cinema giggled when Neo was blubbing, "No, Trinity, you can't die!" and she replied, "Yes, I can." I know she was dying and all, but the way she said it, it had this whole 'nyah!' vibe going.