la_belle_laide | Well played, subconscious. Good job.

Last night I had a dream that there was a movie being filmed in my backyard. But it wasn't this back yard, it was my childhood one, the way it looked way back then.

So I ran outside to see if I could be an extra or something, and found that it was a movie starring Tom Hardy and Charlotte Riley. I was like "OMG, I love them! I have to be a part of this." So I went up to Tom Hardy and I was like "So since you're all filming on my property, maybe I can get to be in the movie. What is it all about?"

He told me it was a scary film about a psycho killer, and he was playing the part of the killer. He said he was sad because at the end he had to kill Charlotte Riley, but that's the sort of thing you have to do when you're acting.

I said, "Well maybe I can be an extra that you kill or something?"

He agreed. So we started filming and I was directed (by some random director) to run around the side of the house while he chased me, then get myself cornered by the fence, get stabbed, and play dead. So that's what I did, I ran away, he chased (and I was actually pretty scared,) but then before he stabbed me with a big kitchen knife, I was like "Wait, wait. This isn't right. I would totally fight back. I mean look: you do martial arts, I do martial arts. We would definitely end up wrestling for the knife."

He said, "So we would."

Much to my delight, we started wrestling for the kitchen knife. Of course I knew I wasn't really supposed to win, so I was just kind of "eeek! Oh my!" and enjoying the whole thing. I kept trying to stick my face close to his and he whispered "What are you doing?" and I said "Oh, I'm just trying to head-butt you, that's all. Because that's what I would do."

Then the director said cut, and we had to do a take where he stabbed me. It turned out that he just kind of poked me with the tip of the knife, and I was supposed to fall backwards. So I did a little flailing to be dramatic first. Then I had to just lie there and play dead. It was tough to not blink.

Tom Hardy got a great big garbage bag and started to stuff me into it. Even this was delightful. Then he threw me over his shoulder and carried me into some kind of school building, where he was going to throw me into a bin with a bunch of other dead folks. But before he got to, Charlotte Riley was supposed to stop him.

In the dream, she was teeny-tiny, like five-foot-nothing. She was so cute and I was like, "I wish he didn't have to stab her!" But even as I was thinking that, I was also thinking, "Maybe if I came back to life, he would have to wrestle with me again," and I started trying to subtly wiggle my way out of the plastic bag. It was tough going, and my shirt started to ride up and I thought, "Oh no! I wouldn't want anyone to see my goodies!"

Then my stupid alarm went off. :/

This is much better than the dream I had two nights ago, where I had this baby and it was nothing more than a hand. I was like "How the hell am I supposed to feed it?" I kept trying to sit it on my shoulder and it kept falling off. It was so upsetting.