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Apr. 2nd, 2011 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideSometimes I keep a journal to share things with people, like the concert I just wrote about. Sometimes I keep it just to chronicle my life, to keep track of things. I keep it unlocked because it's a public LJ and because I never use real names etc. and because when I look at stats, I see that a lot of people from all over the world are regular readers here, even a few hundred that I've never met. When I've got something I want to keep hidden, I lock those entries, either f-locked or totally locked.
Anyway, this is one of those "chronicle" times and less one of those "sharing" times, but still. My aunt was in a car wreck early this morning. I do mean "wreck." She's doing very poorly. We were fairly close when I was a kid. My two cousins, her daughters, have always been like sisters to me and still are. (In fact one lives across the street from me and is Boychild's Momma. So this is Boychild's Grandma.)
Preemptively, I'm not asking for prayers. I do tend to get annoyed with the "I'm praying for you" stuff. It doesn't do anything for me. It's nice to be in people's thoughts and I appreciate that, and the support etc. But AFAIK my aunt is still an atheist like most of the rest of us. (She used to be, at least, from what I remember. I remember her talking about it when I was about 15 or so.)
This is just me keeping track of whens and hows. It's strange that it's almost two years since Gran passed, and I think a year since my uncle (her and my Mom's brother) passed, too. Last night while Jo-chan and I were driving home, she said, "Tonight was too good. I feel like something terrible is going to happen. Something's making me nervous." Then as we were passing by a deli, I said, "I hate driving at night; I'm so afraid of car accidents," and I told her about an accident I'd been involved in when I was eight. It was right outside the deli, about five hours later, that my aunt was involved in this accident.
I always hold out hope until there isn't any. I'm usually the last one going, "things can still turn around." Maybe they can. I really hope so.
Anyway, this is one of those "chronicle" times and less one of those "sharing" times, but still. My aunt was in a car wreck early this morning. I do mean "wreck." She's doing very poorly. We were fairly close when I was a kid. My two cousins, her daughters, have always been like sisters to me and still are. (In fact one lives across the street from me and is Boychild's Momma. So this is Boychild's Grandma.)
Preemptively, I'm not asking for prayers. I do tend to get annoyed with the "I'm praying for you" stuff. It doesn't do anything for me. It's nice to be in people's thoughts and I appreciate that, and the support etc. But AFAIK my aunt is still an atheist like most of the rest of us. (She used to be, at least, from what I remember. I remember her talking about it when I was about 15 or so.)
This is just me keeping track of whens and hows. It's strange that it's almost two years since Gran passed, and I think a year since my uncle (her and my Mom's brother) passed, too. Last night while Jo-chan and I were driving home, she said, "Tonight was too good. I feel like something terrible is going to happen. Something's making me nervous." Then as we were passing by a deli, I said, "I hate driving at night; I'm so afraid of car accidents," and I told her about an accident I'd been involved in when I was eight. It was right outside the deli, about five hours later, that my aunt was involved in this accident.
I always hold out hope until there isn't any. I'm usually the last one going, "things can still turn around." Maybe they can. I really hope so.
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:29 am (UTC)Admittedly, when I was a young punk railing against the establishment, I didn't like it. But, the way I see it now is that if someone tells you they're praying for you, it really does means something to them. They feel they have a personal relationship with a being of incredible power, and even if I don't believe in God, I realize that it's a big deal for them to ask this being for His protection. There's a lot of power in the act of asking your superior for a favour. And, I think, it would be disrespectful of me to mock them for it or deny them that act.
I mean, I don't think the whole 'pray for Japan' movement was useful, for sure, not when there are tangible ways to affect change in the mortal realm. But times like this, when one can't really lend a hand? Does as much as nothing does, and at least you know the attention and the empathy is there.
In short, my thoughts right now are with your aunt, even if it does just as much as anything else I could do. I just lost my aunt to a very quick battle with cancer, and I empathize.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:39 am (UTC)But mostly I just don't like people assuming that I believe the same thing without even stopping to consider.
It's Carrie.
Date: 2011-04-03 05:16 am (UTC)Re: It's Carrie.
Date: 2011-04-03 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 05:29 am (UTC)I'm really sorry.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 03:43 pm (UTC)Well, all that incidental stuff aside, I am thinking of your aunt and cousins and mom and you and wishing/hoping that tons of healing energy are surging that way.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-03 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-04 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-04 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-05 02:50 pm (UTC)Welshie
no subject
Date: 2011-04-05 05:02 pm (UTC)