Blather, rinse, repeat

It's a kidney value, one that has always been really low in him. I don't know what raised it to that one point above range, but I will, of course, obsess over it for a while until I have spent a sufficient amount of time and guilt trying to figure it out, and then finally realize that he is still (knock on wood) acting like the same lizard that he always is, and then I'll get mellow. Then I'll remind myself that lizards are supposed to act normal even if they're not feeling normal because it's part of their natural defense, and I'll panic again for a while. I'll try to find out if there's anything I can do to lower it, and if there is, I'll do it and then feel better about it, even though it's just one point. This will go on and off until his tail gets better and I stop over-focussing on the thing that I can see. Once in a while I'll remember that I've stopped over-focussing and wonder if I should focus on it again, out of this weird sort of guilt that I have, because somehow, obsession and guilt makes things better. After a few weeks of everything being normal, I'll put it out of my mind and go on with my life.

This is the process of my neurosis. Nosce te ipsum, and all of that. ;)