Blather, rinse, repeat

The lesson here seems to be that if you have 1) a big name, and 2) a good first few pages, you can fill the rest of your work in with prose plagiarized from the phone book, and publishers will still buy you. After all, somebody bought that book...

But before buying crystals, make sure that they don't have twisted creatures with fangs and claws jumping up and down inside of them. That's a bad sign.