Some more things to remember, and a HISTORICAL fangirl day

[la_belle_laide]

A few more things I want to remember before going into the rest of my usual babble. One was the last day we all had with Gran. She wasn't awake, but could probably still hear us, so Mom, Dad, Chrissie and I each took some time alone with her to tell her whatever it is we had to say. I spent a lot of time telling her how I wanted to be like her, how I had always sort of idolized a lot of things about her, like her toughness, her fighting spirit, her sense of humor, her love for science and how she could beat all the boys at sports. It took me a long, stumbling time to say all those things. Me, the "writer." Then my cousin Chrissie came in and just said, "My beautiful Grandma," and I realized how simple it was. (She also did tell her, she later told me, how glad she was that Gran raised her and made her the woman she is today.)

Here's something funny that I missed, but Mom told me about. When Grandma was in the hospital and not quite lucid, she had a hard time telling if she was awake or dreaming, and she was extremely uninhibited. So, one of the nurses came in and was talking to her about where they grew up. She said to Grandma, "Hey Woodside, how are you today?" and Gran answered her, and they talked for a little while about Woodside and Queens etc. Then, still smiling, Gran told the nurse:

"All rightie! Now, why don't you just shut the hell up and get the hell out. Because you're BONKERS."

The nurse laughed so hard she almost fell over. My uncle (Gran's son) and my aunt (his wife) were there at the time, and they were practically rolling.

Also, Grandma loved to sing, and she sang until the day she stopped talking. She wasn't any kind of fantastic singer, but this never stopped her from singing loud and proud. (I'll never forget this one time in Florida when she was in the room next to my cousin Celie and I, and we heard her singing "Sentimental Journey." We peeked over the balcony and looked in on her, and we saw her waltzing around the room by herself, with a walkman on. It was great.) Anyway, so even up until a few days before she passed, she was still singing. "Let's all sing like the birdies sing! Tweet, tweet tweet, twat twat!"

I would always say, "My Grandma, ladies and gentlemen!"

I can't imagine that I will ever stop missing her.

So that's just a few other things I wanted to remember.

On the other side of the world of my brain, today was my last actual day of classes. The rest are all finals and they are all on Monday and next Saturday. Monday I have two, and the big one is the herbs final. Then I have four days off, and then Saturday is Anatomy and Physiology, which is going to be INSANE, and then intro to OM.

Today, A&P ended mad early and I had about three and a half hours between classes. I told myself I was going to finish writing up my labs and then study a bit. Instead, I ate lunch, went for a free massage, and played Crisis Core for two hours straight in the upstairs waiting room, while it rained like a bitch outside. I mean I have all next week to study, right? And I will, I seriously will. And finish writing the labs, too.

Anyway, so yes, today is the day I started playing Crisis Core making this a HISTORICAL FANGIRL DAY.

But Crisis Core is lots of fun, and I have to admit that the graphics are like soul-crushingly beautiful. I wish I could play it on my TV. I bought a stupidass too-short cord to hook it up to my TV, and all the eight thousand goddamn prongs are color-coded to holes in my TV, so I spent an hour trying to get under my wall-mounted TV to match the prongs to the goddamn holes, and even then it didn't work.

That's because it's Sony's new stupid piece of crap that doesn't effing work:

I must have watched that about ten times already, and it doesn't stop being funny.

Welp, tomorrow is easter schmeaster and even though that means absolutely dick in this family, (and most of my friends: my good friend Snarklit said to me today, "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!") it's still a day to eat baked stuffed shells, which is kinda awesome. First I have to go out (prolly with Mom) to get a nice thank you gift for the emergency hospital that took care of Haku, and then also one for my wonderful friend who works there who went completely out of her way to care for him. Those things are pretty late, but obviously there was other stuff going on.

And then I have to study like a BITCH for Monday's final.

So that's where I am today.

Comments

[silverhawthorn.livejournal.com]

I want to be like her, too. Can I?

Thank you so much (again) for sharing her with us this way. I really do wish I had been able to meet her.

And soul-crushingly beautiful? gak! I must play it now!!

[miranth.livejournal.com]

K - I am sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like your grandmother was a strong woman! Mine was too. She was the only grandparent who lived to see me born, so she was extra special to me. Family and friends helped me through my grief.

I hope your loved ones in 'meatspace' :) are there for you as well.

Good luck.

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course you can! Must live to be 89 though. All that experience. :D It is my pleasure to talk about her, and it helps me feel a lot better, too.

YES, Crisis Core is shiver-inducing. I know you're on dialup, but if you're at the library you can go to youtube and see some of the scenes from it. Their work is incredible!

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Thank you Miranth, it's nice to read you here. :) I'm sorry you only knew your one grandparent. I'm a rare one in that I did meet all four. My Dad's mom passed when I was 9 months old but I remember her clearly anyway.

My 'ohana all live close together. Some are out of state currently but will be home soon, and I will definitely feel better once I can see them, too. :)

Thanks Miranth!

[awakesoon.livejournal.com]

Me, the "writer."

I feel like this, too! Just because you can write it down doesn't mean it comes out of your mouth as easily!

Good for all your happy memories. ^^ My grandma passed in much the same way; she wasn't eating and down to something like 80lbs by the time she passed, but what I remember the most is her smile the last time I saw her.

Thinking of you. ^^

[silverhawthorn.livejournal.com]

*makes mental note: "must live to be 89 at least"*

I'm glad, too -- the worst thing about this is to feel like you can't talk about the loved one, like it's a secret they ever lived. Keep sharing, as much as you like!

When is your trip, this month, right?

And the next time I have computer time at the library I definitely will! Can you send me a link to your video, too, so I won't forget?

Hang in there, Jules. Illegitimi non carborundum. ;)

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Definitely at least! I personally wouldn't mind 113. That's a good number. ;)

Oh TJ, there's no more sharing after what happened. "Vile" is the only word I can think of for that post, that entire situation. Well, there are a few more words to be honest, but I'm not going to use them here.

This stuff was too sacred for That Place which is why I asked for it to be kept off there in the first place.

Oh, my trip. I canceled that when Gran first got really sick. It's okay, I'll get most of the money back, save up and do it another time. ^_^

Once I'm done with my stupid video I will absolutely send you a link. ^_^

[silverhawthorn.livejournal.com]

Hell, let's just be immortal, we could push the limits of science! :D

By sharing I meant what you do here, and with your family and friends...certainly not meaning in the other place after that situation over there. I would've felt the same way. And I'm going to try to get back in the habit of daily LJ, so I can keep up with you and the rest of my flist!

I'm sorry to hear about the trip! I understand of course, but I was looking forward to experiencing China vicariously! Ah well, next time you can personalize it.

But I'll still want a souvenir! ;)

[miranth.livejournal.com]

You are lucky you had all four! It's amazing to have such early memories. The only experience I remember from infancy is thinking 'oh hell no, this isn't where I'm supposed to be! Who signed me up for this?' LOL :)

I hope you are spending time with your 'ohana, it will help with the healing process. It helped me to remember my grandma now, painful still, but those ties keep us bound to those who love us.

:)