Is everything a disorder?
Jun. 19th, 2006 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
la_belle_laideThe other day I was driving and when I stopped at a red light I randomly adjusted my steering wheel lower. It ocurred to me in that weird moment that I was adjusting it to a point where if I ever were to have a car accident (fate forbid, because I really don't want one,) the steering wheel would be in the perfect position to break my nose.
I kind of freaked out.
When I got home I looked up this page which is abotu body dysmorphic disorder. Then tonight I found this book which, in the description has the phrase, "BDD can lead to unnecessary plastic surgery...." and it made me think, isn't all plastic surgery unnecessary? But doesn't everyone do it anyway?
Then I think, jeez, we have a name for everything, a disease for everything. No one can be just ugly anymore, now we just have Body Dysmorphic Disorder, all important in capital letters like that, too. I mean, what if it's just a case of being ugly? Like how a lot of the time ADHD is just a case of grownups acting like morons?
I admit (I'm doing a lot of admitting today, aren't I?) that I am obsessive compulsive over things and I often look in the mirror to see how bad it is. And yeah, I guess the steering wheel thing was pretty weird, too. But you know, it's entirely possible that a lot of people with this so-called BDD--myself included--are just not pretty and get upset over it sometimes, right?
A lot of these web sites tell you not to go and get plastic surgery. I really don't think I'd be a good candidate for it anyway. When I start to get really tempted, I have to remind myself how a few months ago it was all about avoiding being looked at from the side. Now I'm starting to come to terms with the Cherokee Profile (that's being charitable,) and am starting to hate when people look at me straight on because I think it makes my mouth look funny. I used to really like my mouth, wtf? And I have this mentality that being attractive would make everything all right. It wouldn't. I'd still struggle with the exact same things I struggle with now. Only I think if I were really beautiful it might compound my problems. Then I'd worry if I was getting things because I was pretty. I know a lot of pretty girls who often wonder that. "Did I get this job because I'm hot? Did I get a raise because I'm hot?" Things like that. In a way, it's good to know that whatever I get, I've worked for and I got it because of my own merit.
I'm just weird, that's all.
And I hate having more to add on my LJ the same day I've written something I really like and want people to see, like that last entry on RPS/RPF, because you know people are only going to look at one or two of your entries a week and I always want to chose the ones that people heed and maybe reply to. It'd be that one, not this one. Damnit.
I kind of freaked out.
When I got home I looked up this page which is abotu body dysmorphic disorder. Then tonight I found this book which, in the description has the phrase, "BDD can lead to unnecessary plastic surgery...." and it made me think, isn't all plastic surgery unnecessary? But doesn't everyone do it anyway?
Then I think, jeez, we have a name for everything, a disease for everything. No one can be just ugly anymore, now we just have Body Dysmorphic Disorder, all important in capital letters like that, too. I mean, what if it's just a case of being ugly? Like how a lot of the time ADHD is just a case of grownups acting like morons?
I admit (I'm doing a lot of admitting today, aren't I?) that I am obsessive compulsive over things and I often look in the mirror to see how bad it is. And yeah, I guess the steering wheel thing was pretty weird, too. But you know, it's entirely possible that a lot of people with this so-called BDD--myself included--are just not pretty and get upset over it sometimes, right?
A lot of these web sites tell you not to go and get plastic surgery. I really don't think I'd be a good candidate for it anyway. When I start to get really tempted, I have to remind myself how a few months ago it was all about avoiding being looked at from the side. Now I'm starting to come to terms with the Cherokee Profile (that's being charitable,) and am starting to hate when people look at me straight on because I think it makes my mouth look funny. I used to really like my mouth, wtf? And I have this mentality that being attractive would make everything all right. It wouldn't. I'd still struggle with the exact same things I struggle with now. Only I think if I were really beautiful it might compound my problems. Then I'd worry if I was getting things because I was pretty. I know a lot of pretty girls who often wonder that. "Did I get this job because I'm hot? Did I get a raise because I'm hot?" Things like that. In a way, it's good to know that whatever I get, I've worked for and I got it because of my own merit.
I'm just weird, that's all.
And I hate having more to add on my LJ the same day I've written something I really like and want people to see, like that last entry on RPS/RPF, because you know people are only going to look at one or two of your entries a week and I always want to chose the ones that people heed and maybe reply to. It'd be that one, not this one. Damnit.
