Last night at the Head-movies

It's been a long time since I've written a post about dreams, but this morning's one was such a doozy.

It starts with a TBS concert in my back yard, lucky me. I'm holding Callum while dancing along. Then I hand Callum to my Mom and go inside for more, IDK, food or something?

Once inside, suddenly I'm in this place I've dreamed about before. It's based, I guess, on a mix between the old Canoe Place Inn, and Jedediah Hawkins. But it's neither of those places, yet it's the exact same in every dream. So tonight I'm at some kind of dinner gathering. Eddie Reyes from TBS is there and so is my Mom. For some reason I go back outside (my yard again,) then in again. But when I come back, everyone inside is soaking wet and pissed off.

It turns out that this is some kind of “dinner mystery theater” thing, where someone gets fake-kidnapped and everyone else has to figure out who. Two someones, actually, because everyone is waiting for it to happen again. And everyone was wet because they had turned off the lights and sprayed everyone with a hose in order to confuse them while they took the first person away.

This totally annoys me because it's already late, and I want to get home and put Callum to bed. (Who's supposed to be watching him? I have no idea.)

So now we're waiting for them to come and take the second person, and it turns actually kind of scary, because we all know they're coming. So everyone starts to huddle at tables and hold hands, figuring that, this time, if we're all holding hands, they won't be able to get anyone. There are a bunch of clocks on the wall, like those creepy-ass cat clocks you used to see everywhere in the 80s, with the moving eyes and swishing tails. I'm looking at those clocks and I realize that the eyes are actually cameras and they're watching us.

So the lights go out again and everyone panics. We can still kind of see a little in the dim light, and I see this figure coming to our table. No one else seems able to see it. It comes closer, and I can see that it's a child.

And all of a sudden it makes perfect sense. This isn't a dinner-mystery. We're living in the world of Final Fantasy VIII, and this is a plan to protect little girls from the sorceress Ultimecia, who wants to possess them. The little girl walking around is one of those potential sorceresses who might get kidnapped and possessed. The people the who had been kidnapped weren't part of some dinner roleplay, they were taken to be temporary protectors of this little girl.

So, I know she's coming for me next, because they need someone who is not only a mother, and can't say “no” to protecting some kid, but who also knows the plot of FFVIII. The little shadow of a girl holds her arms up. I'm annoyed, but I know I have to do it, and it bothers me that no one else gets what's going on because they haven't played the game. So I let go of everyone's hand and I jump down from my table (it was on a kind of ledge,) and I scoop the little girl up and start running with her.

Outside, it's daylight, and I know I have to hurry, because the people inside are going to think this is part of the game and are going to come looking for me, to “rescue” me. But then they'll give our location away to Ultimecia and she'll kidnap and possess the girl. I only need to hide her until, IDK, Ultimecia passes to the next town or something, so a few hours.

So now I'm running outside the building, and there's like a swamp in the back that leads into the woods. There are paths all over the swamp, with little sheds and lean-tos and all kinds of places to hide that are actually kind of crappy. But I can hear all these people gaining behind me, and they are going to totally screw this up if they find us. So I'm running through this muck while holding this kid, upset because I'm wearing my favorite shoes and they're getting ruined.

Also traipsing through the swamp is Brendan Frye from Brick. I ask him if there are any good hiding places, and he points to one of those little garden sheds. With the people catching up, I end up running into a stupid little garden shed, cram myself and the kid in there, and lock the door.

Once I get in and lock the door, the little girl turns into a handful of feathers. (??) I think, 'Well, that's all right; it's a sorceress thing. They all do that.'

Outside, a bunch of mini-orcs or something like that are scurrying around, except they're not orcs, they're actually also protectors who are now guarding the garden shed so the people won't find us there.

One guy gets past them, he knows I'm in the shed and he breaks down the door to “rescue” me. I make this weird gesture with the feathers, sort of like, 'No, GTFO, you can't possibly understand because you're not a gamer!' But before he even gets what I'm telling him, one of the orc-things clubs him on the head and drags him away. I relock the door. This happens one more time with some other guy, same thing.

Then I hear someone come plowing through all the orc-things and I'm thinking, 'Oh no, now we're definitely going to get caught here.'

Sure enough, the guy rips the shed door off the hinges. He's got this reddish, rusty colored hair and a gap in his front teeth and he goes, 'There y'all are, missy! I done heard you's in need of a rescue,” in this ridiculously exaggerated accent, and I realize, WTF, this is Mater from Cars in human form. (Note: Callum likes to watch Cars with the same frequency he used to watch Frozen, which is, every single night. So that's why this is on my brain.) Human-Mater (well, there's something you don't read every day, unless you read a lot of SciFi,) picks me up, even though I'm showing him the stupid feathers like, 'Dude, no, these feathers are a little girl I'm trying to protect from Ultemecia and you are giving us away right now!”

But then I finally get away from him, only to see all the people from the building coming to look for me. And one of them says, “You do know it's just a game, right?”

And then Callum woke me up. It actually took a minute for me to get back into reality, that's how real and totally messed up it was.

That's last night's head-movie.