Lomi Lomi vs. Swedish

I had my first Lomi Lomi class today. (After the school dicking the class around for about an hour because they forgot about the seminar, duh.) For anyone not familiar with that, it's traditional Hawaiian massage and it's based on movements used in Hula. Which, perfect, right?

Well, yeah, kinda. It was super easy for me to catch on to the style. Although it's a hugely long class, and the first, like, three hours was learning really simple Hula steps. It was a little hard for me to be patient at first, but then kind of meditative after a while. An hour of kaholo, and what amounts to kaholokihi imua ihope. I can do it in my sleep and just about did. Then we added in the massage movements with are all done with elbows and forearms; hardly any hands at all. You need seriously strong thighs and it does save your thumbs.

Then at around 2 PM (we started at NINE,) we got to work on each other.

Umm, well it's a very naked and splay-legged massage. I definitely feel like I got to know my massage linens intimately. I lost a lot of modesty at this school to begin with, but now I realize how really covered we all always are, aside from a few slips here and there. Lomi Lomi, not so much. You get like a little cloth to cover your butt crack, and I assume a strip of cloth for your boobs. (We don't do anterior body in this workshop, by the way. Yeah, they neglected to mention that this seminar only teaches half the technique. If you want the other half, you have to pay again.) The smaller the strip of butt-cloth the better, actually, because with a big towel it gets in the way and tends to get knocked aside very easily.

Once I got over my Western "OH NOES SKIN!!!111" paranoia, I realized it's actually a really effective and awesome technique, when done right.

"When done right." The gal I was working with has been working as a LMT for years at a spa, was just trying to fill some credits for when she moves down south. She wasn't crazy about Lomi Lomi, and didn't catch on. And when I was doing her, I could only go feather-light over her. Anything with actual pressure was too much. I figured when it was her turn to do me, she'd be afraid of going really deep. She was. She kept saying, "I can't really do this; I'll hurt you."

OMFG NO YOU WON'T. It feels like flies walking on me!

BUT. Every time the teacher turned her back, she'd say, "This isn't working for me. And you have some really bad adhesions in your back. I'll do some of my special deep tissue."

And let me tell you, it was the best Swedish massage I've ever gotten in my life. Seriously. Chick came in to learn Lomi Lomi, which I got right away and she didn't, but she knocked me out with the Swedish.

Once, the teacher caught her and said, "You shouldn't be practicing that now; it's a whole different style – you paid for this class!"

I said to the teacher, "Please, don't stop her. She could sacrifice kittens over me at this point and I'd still want her to keep going."

I mean, OMG she murdered me. It was awesome. I need that every week, seriously.

I work with lots of guys in this school, and you know what's funny? Most of them aren't half as good as the women. I highly suspect that men are afraid to use a lot of pressure on women, for some reason. They end up being wimpy. Their hands feel really weak and light. Maybe girls just try harder?

On the other hand, it's usually the guys who are screaming for me to go lighter when I start going deep. And it seems like the bigger they are, the lighter they like their massage. I mean hey, that's great for me; all I have to do is froof around back there and they're all happy. You get a gal up in the clinic and they wear you out for the rest of the day. "Excuse me, but my descendants can't feel you; please go harder."

The second class is tomorrow, which is still only half of the body. (WTF? I can't wait to get out of this stupid, swindling school and never look back.) Another 9-4 day doing something with my legs that I could do in my sleep. I think if I really practiced this I could be good at it – maybe even specialize in it. If only they'd teach me more for the money I paid. :/

Lomi Lomi vs. Swedish

I had my first Lomi Lomi class today. (After the school dicking the class around for about an hour because they forgot about the seminar, duh.) For anyone not familiar with that, it's traditional Hawaiian massage and it's based on movements used in Hula. Which, perfect, right?

Well, yeah, kinda. It was super easy for me to catch on to the style. Although it's a hugely long class, and the first, like, three hours was learning really simple Hula steps. It was a little hard for me to be patient at first, but then kind of meditative after a while. An hour of kaholo, and what amounts to kaholokihi imua ihope. I can do it in my sleep and just about did. Then we added in the massage movements with are all done with elbows and forearms; hardly any hands at all. You need seriously strong thighs and it does save your thumbs.

Then at around 2 PM (we started at NINE,) we got to work on each other.

Umm, well it's a very naked and splay-legged massage. I definitely feel like I got to know my massage linens intimately. I lost a lot of modesty at this school to begin with, but now I realize how really covered we all always are, aside from a few slips here and there. Lomi Lomi, not so much. You get like a little cloth to cover your butt crack, and I assume a strip of cloth for your boobs. (We don't do anterior body in this workshop, by the way. Yeah, they neglected to mention that this seminar only teaches half the technique. If you want the other half, you have to pay again.) The smaller the strip of butt-cloth the better, actually, because with a big towel it gets in the way and tends to get knocked aside very easily.

Once I got over my Western "OH NOES SKIN!!!111" paranoia, I realized it's actually a really effective and awesome technique, when done right.

"When done right." The gal I was working with has been working as a LMT for years at a spa, was just trying to fill some credits for when she moves down south. She wasn't crazy about Lomi Lomi, and didn't catch on. And when I was doing her, I could only go feather-light over her. Anything with actual pressure was too much. I figured when it was her turn to do me, she'd be afraid of going really deep. She was. She kept saying, "I can't really do this; I'll hurt you."

OMFG NO YOU WON'T. It feels like flies walking on me!

BUT. Every time the teacher turned her back, she'd say, "This isn't working for me. And you have some really bad adhesions in your back. I'll do some of my special deep tissue."

And let me tell you, it was the best Swedish massage I've ever gotten in my life. Seriously. Chick came in to learn Lomi Lomi, which I got right away and she didn't, but she knocked me out with the Swedish.

Once, the teacher caught her and said, "You shouldn't be practicing that now; it's a whole different style – you paid for this class!"

I said to the teacher, "Please, don't stop her. She could sacrifice kittens over me at this point and I'd still want her to keep going."

I mean, OMG she murdered me. It was awesome. I need that every week, seriously.

I work with lots of guys in this school, and you know what's funny? Most of them aren't half as good as the women. I highly suspect that men are afraid to use a lot of pressure on women, for some reason. They end up being wimpy. Their hands feel really weak and light. Maybe girls just try harder?

On the other hand, it's usually the guys who are screaming for me to go lighter when I start going deep. And it seems like the bigger they are, the lighter they like their massage. I mean hey, that's great for me; all I have to do is froof around back there and they're all happy. You get a gal up in the clinic and they wear you out for the rest of the day. "Excuse me, but my descendants can't feel you; please go harder."

The second class is tomorrow, which is still only half of the body. (WTF? I can't wait to get out of this stupid, swindling school and never look back.) Another 9-4 day doing something with my legs that I could do in my sleep. I think if I really practiced this I could be good at it – maybe even specialize in it. If only they'd teach me more for the money I paid. :/