WOLFMAN review (scenery porn)
Jun. 8th, 2010 11:54 pmTonight I watched Wolfman which I probably would have skipped if Benicio hadn't been in it. Honestly it was like a two hour version of Ozzy's video for Bark At The Moon. I don't necessarily say that in a bad way, because that's one of my alltime favorite videos.
It was basically atmosphere/scenery porn. If you like the whole "foggy London, moonlit pines, ominous manors, eerie taverns and horse-drawn carriages" thing then it's an easy sell. I happen to always have been into that particular brand of goth lore so I'm not ashamed to say that that aspect worked for me.
I could not, a single time, resist the urge to tack the word "Clarice" onto the end of Anthony Hopkins's lines, and "MissssterrrrrAnnnnnderson" to the end of Hugo Weaving's. (By the way, Anthony Hopkins, Hugo Weaving and Benicio Del Toro? Estrogen Brigade WIN.) Two lines of dialogue went something like, "Silver bullets, do you hunt monsters?" "Sometimes the monster hunts you," and all I could think (and admittedly say aloud, to my own amusement,) was, "In Soviet Russia, MONSTER HUNTS YOU." And of course any scene with a German-accented authority figure giving a presentation on local legend makes me say, "Vee had better make DAMN SURE zet he is not vollowing in his grandfazzer's FOOTSCHTOPPS."
It was typical Wolfman fare and seemed very loyal to the original IIRC, but was actually quite mediocre when you consider the talent that was on board. It was a fun B-Movie complete with angry, torch-and-pitchfork wielding mobs but I think it could have been something actually spectacular with better direction.
Also, it had magic pants. Unless, you know, not everything transformed.
"He vould haff an enormous Schwanzstucker WOOF."
P.S. I used this particular icon 'cause Link is a wolfman in Twilight Princess. If you think about it. Umm.