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Ahhh, a fine day off. Slept until 10 (not really, neighbors started with the ridiculous power tools at 8 AM so I should say I tried to sleep till 10,) then went to Target with Mom for a few necessities, and then out to buy some teeny fish for the little tank.
Originally I wanted a green cory and a big yellow snail. But when I got there, some big, sweaty guy with long greasy hair jumped in front of me and said "ARE THE SNAILS ALIVE I WANT THEM." I asked if he was going to take all of them and he said, "YES I WANT TO TAKE ALL OF THEM."
However, all of the snails were dead. Then, he stood there yammering to the cute guy (I've mentioned this cute guy before; he's the manager and I see him every Sunday,) for thirty minutes about how one fish wasn't blue enough.
Eventually I got behind him. That's when I noticed that his pants were halfway down his ass and he wasn't wearing underwear, revealing a huge, sweaty crack. Seriously, people, YOU COULD ALMOST SEE THE HOLE. Honestly, why?
I started laughing because it reminded me of my friend Pat. We used to work together, and she always hated it when girls would wear their pants cut low and show off a whale-tail (aka the thong. Which, gotta agree with her there.) Pat was in her 50s or so and just had this wonderfully brusque and hilariously dry way of saying everything. And the classic smoker's rasp, too. So every time she'd see this one girl bend over, she would turn away and mutter—just loud enough to be heard—"Oh my god oh my god, butt-hole, butt-hole." And she said it with the voiceless glottal stop instead of the "T" sound which made it that much better.
That's all I could think of when I saw that guy with his crack hanging out. Well, that, and plucking my eyes out, feeding them to the fish, then removing my brain and running it under the faucet.
In the end (*snicker*) I got my green cory (there was only one left,) and a teenywee silver Chinese catfish. I named them Onion and Wufei, respectively.
Then I went outside and played with the dogs and you better believe I've got way too many pictures.
What? Everyone wants to see pictures of my pets. Don't even lie.
( This is Onion. )Welcome to the tank, you sparkly weird thing!
( That's Wufei behind Onion there. )He's difficult to photograph because he's so quick and he blends in. If he weren't Wufei, he'd be a ninja.
( Leon being sultry. )Ahh, my little Jason. :)
( Read more... )Lucrezia is like the photobomber of the fish world.
( Do you know, crows go mad if you ignore them? )He has to get cuddled a few times a day.
( Leap, Haku! Leap! )He's such a damn fruitcake.
( Sano is back in the swing of things. )It's great to see him acting the fool again.
( SANO WOULD REALLY LIKE HIS BALL NOW, PLEASE. )( Let's have a detail of that, shall we? )What a freak!
Yare yare, my weekend is over. Tomorrow it's back to school, and damn registration. Please, powers that be, please I get the classes I want when I want them.
And an agent, and a book deal.
And for no one to get sick or die.
And to eat tons of ice cream with butterscotch sauce and not get fat.
And a new Zelda game.
And a hundred million dollars too.
P.S. Me, sharing my music choice with you:
Kotowari, from the Tsuiokuhen soundtrack. How gorge is this melody? Can you stand it? I can't.
