Good space, too quiet

Yesterday I decided to just go about my business with SUPAH LO-BUDGET REDECORATE (although Iv'e already spent $300--let that be an end to it!) and try to put Cassidy out of my mind for a while. But it was so quiet I couldn't hear myself think. Finally when I got my TV hooked up and put on Twilight Princess, I busted out crying because Cassidy would always "answer" the game as soon as the music started. So that was rough.

Then today I figured I was all well and good--and I was--until I called Laura, the lady who gave me Cassidy a few years ago. I originally left a message and she was on her way out the door and she called me right back because she felt like something was wrong. I picked up the phone and she said, "Something's up, isn't it?" I told her yeah, and she said, "It's Cassidy." Then she busted out crying, too. After a few minutes she said she thought he had some liver problems that he was probably just born with. She said the magic words: "It was nothing you did wrong" and then there I went all emo again. I spent most of yesterday wondering what I could have done differently. I'm so weird like that; once I take responsibility for something I always feel like I'm letting it down, no matter what I do. That goes for just about anything. I have major guilt issues.

I told Rob today about Little Jon and he said to bring him in for a biopsy Friday, and so far he thinks it might be some kind of auto-immune disease. My god, in a grackle! It makes one wonder what's going on in this environment. (One in a while I'll get in these hugely metabolically mesed up birds, with soft beaks and joints three times the normal size. Young birds, I mean. WTF?) Again with the "nothing you could have done differently" but it still does suck. Little Jon was never tame like Cassidy, but is still a kind of pet and is lovable in his weird and spazzy way. Obviously both birds were / are nature's rejects in some way. I never release any of nature's rejects. I only ever release birds who've run into trouble, like cat bitten ones, human interference ones, or babies who fell out of the nest. It'd be wrong to release one of nature's rejects because, well, it'd just be prey in a few minutes anyway, or worse, the slim chance it could breed and pass on whatever was wrong with it. Don't want to weaken the natural strain. So once in a while, I'll end up with a non-releasable, and those were my Cassidy and my Little Jon. Also for a year I had Ray, the wonderfully clever but stone blind grackle. I miss him, too. Cassidy, though, he was just really special to me, a total favorite.

Okay, enough about that for now.

I did get a LOT done in my living room yesterday. Aside from the spanked-bottom pink wall (soon to be two walls,) I love it. It's visually quiet, lots of space, interesting levels, and the color I picked for the far wall is my new favorite color for paint. I think when this is done it's going to be just what I want (aside from the spanked bottoms.) And of course, I will post pics. Of course! You must have expected that.

Oh, I wrote all that stuff yesterday and never got to post it. I talked to Laura for a long time today, mostly about Cassidy. Again she said that I couldn't have done anything differently. She must have guessed I was feeling guilt over it because she specified again and again that I was to be trusted with wildlife, that I was one of the best, and that everyone has times when they just lost animals no matter what they do. (Actually, on Friday I lost a winter wren that had been chewed on by a cat, and on Monday I lost a cardinal who'd flown into a window. I think spine might have been fractured but of course, I couldn't tell for sure.) Her words really made me feel better. But it is still just so crappily quiet in here.

I painted the southern wall today, again with the spanked-bottom pink. I wanted to gradient it from the dark western wall, but guess what? You can't really gradient over stucco! Huh, whaddya know. Really not much you can do with stucco at all, really. Saturday I hope to finish the eastern wall, which is where (hopefully) the murals and really interesting stuff will go. There is every chance that it will completely suck donkey balls, though. We shall see, and I'll post pics if it does not, in fact, suck donkey balls. Or any kind of balls at all. To tell the truth, aside from the pink, you know I really do like it. It's warm, it's kind of soft, it feels different from the old room, whih always felt noisy and cluttered even when it wasn't. I know very little indeed about Feng Shui, but I'll bet it's better than it was.

Pics:

( The northern and western wall. You can see where the entertainment center used to be, taking up all that space. )

And the color on the back wall? Perfect. I love that color. If I had a huge room, I'd do the whole thing like that.

( The southern wall with the tapestry. )

It might be spanked-butt pink, but look at how perfectly those colors go with the tapestry! Almost like I did it on purpose. I didn't.

( My orchid bloomed, too. Orchids are suggestive, aren't they? )

Go, me, for getting an orchid to bloom twice in a year! A gardening genius, I tell you. ;D

Tonight at Kung Fu, I got to forget about it all once again. In basic we did, well, basics. Stance training until my legs were shaking and stuff like that. Then blackbelt warmup led by Raq--always a challenge--and then some self defense and arm-bars and stuff. In trying to demonstrate the footwork, Sifu ended up dancing with me at one point (the Lindy, I think?) It was pretty funny. (Oh, one thing I forgot to mention: A few weeks ago, one of my training brothers brought me a bar of organic dark chocolate. No reason, just because. How nice is that?) On my way home I was in total low blood sugar land, though, and once at home I had to have a bowl of Total. Don't know why it was Total I was fiending for, but there ya go. Refreshing! I'm a simple creature. A fresh coat of paint for my room, a good workout, a shower and a bowl of cereal ... yeah, I'll sleep well.

Good space, too quiet

Yesterday I decided to just go about my business with SUPAH LO-BUDGET REDECORATE (although Iv'e already spent $300--let that be an end to it!) and try to put Cassidy out of my mind for a while. But it was so quiet I couldn't hear myself think. Finally when I got my TV hooked up and put on Twilight Princess, I busted out crying because Cassidy would always "answer" the game as soon as the music started. So that was rough.

Then today I figured I was all well and good--and I was--until I called Laura, the lady who gave me Cassidy a few years ago. I originally left a message and she was on her way out the door and she called me right back because she felt like something was wrong. I picked up the phone and she said, "Something's up, isn't it?" I told her yeah, and she said, "It's Cassidy." Then she busted out crying, too. After a few minutes she said she thought he had some liver problems that he was probably just born with. She said the magic words: "It was nothing you did wrong" and then there I went all emo again. I spent most of yesterday wondering what I could have done differently. I'm so weird like that; once I take responsibility for something I always feel like I'm letting it down, no matter what I do. That goes for just about anything. I have major guilt issues.

I told Rob today about Little Jon and he said to bring him in for a biopsy Friday, and so far he thinks it might be some kind of auto-immune disease. My god, in a grackle! It makes one wonder what's going on in this environment. (One in a while I'll get in these hugely metabolically mesed up birds, with soft beaks and joints three times the normal size. Young birds, I mean. WTF?) Again with the "nothing you could have done differently" but it still does suck. Little Jon was never tame like Cassidy, but is still a kind of pet and is lovable in his weird and spazzy way. Obviously both birds were / are nature's rejects in some way. I never release any of nature's rejects. I only ever release birds who've run into trouble, like cat bitten ones, human interference ones, or babies who fell out of the nest. It'd be wrong to release one of nature's rejects because, well, it'd just be prey in a few minutes anyway, or worse, the slim chance it could breed and pass on whatever was wrong with it. Don't want to weaken the natural strain. So once in a while, I'll end up with a non-releasable, and those were my Cassidy and my Little Jon. Also for a year I had Ray, the wonderfully clever but stone blind grackle. I miss him, too. Cassidy, though, he was just really special to me, a total favorite.

Okay, enough about that for now.

I did get a LOT done in my living room yesterday. Aside from the spanked-bottom pink wall (soon to be two walls,) I love it. It's visually quiet, lots of space, interesting levels, and the color I picked for the far wall is my new favorite color for paint. I think when this is done it's going to be just what I want (aside from the spanked bottoms.) And of course, I will post pics. Of course! You must have expected that.

Oh, I wrote all that stuff yesterday and never got to post it. I talked to Laura for a long time today, mostly about Cassidy. Again she said that I couldn't have done anything differently. She must have guessed I was feeling guilt over it because she specified again and again that I was to be trusted with wildlife, that I was one of the best, and that everyone has times when they just lost animals no matter what they do. (Actually, on Friday I lost a winter wren that had been chewed on by a cat, and on Monday I lost a cardinal who'd flown into a window. I think spine might have been fractured but of course, I couldn't tell for sure.) Her words really made me feel better. But it is still just so crappily quiet in here.

I painted the southern wall today, again with the spanked-bottom pink. I wanted to gradient it from the dark western wall, but guess what? You can't really gradient over stucco! Huh, whaddya know. Really not much you can do with stucco at all, really. Saturday I hope to finish the eastern wall, which is where (hopefully) the murals and really interesting stuff will go. There is every chance that it will completely suck donkey balls, though. We shall see, and I'll post pics if it does not, in fact, suck donkey balls. Or any kind of balls at all. To tell the truth, aside from the pink, you know I really do like it. It's warm, it's kind of soft, it feels different from the old room, whih always felt noisy and cluttered even when it wasn't. I know very little indeed about Feng Shui, but I'll bet it's better than it was.

Pics:

( The northern and western wall. You can see where the entertainment center used to be, taking up all that space. )

And the color on the back wall? Perfect. I love that color. If I had a huge room, I'd do the whole thing like that.

( The southern wall with the tapestry. )

It might be spanked-butt pink, but look at how perfectly those colors go with the tapestry! Almost like I did it on purpose. I didn't.

( My orchid bloomed, too. Orchids are suggestive, aren't they? )

Go, me, for getting an orchid to bloom twice in a year! A gardening genius, I tell you. ;D

Tonight at Kung Fu, I got to forget about it all once again. In basic we did, well, basics. Stance training until my legs were shaking and stuff like that. Then blackbelt warmup led by Raq--always a challenge--and then some self defense and arm-bars and stuff. In trying to demonstrate the footwork, Sifu ended up dancing with me at one point (the Lindy, I think?) It was pretty funny. (Oh, one thing I forgot to mention: A few weeks ago, one of my training brothers brought me a bar of organic dark chocolate. No reason, just because. How nice is that?) On my way home I was in total low blood sugar land, though, and once at home I had to have a bowl of Total. Don't know why it was Total I was fiending for, but there ya go. Refreshing! I'm a simple creature. A fresh coat of paint for my room, a good workout, a shower and a bowl of cereal ... yeah, I'll sleep well.

(no subject)

Look at me, Leonard.

(no subject)

Look at me, Leonard.