The household speaks

Trisky: Hi, or as Mom would say, "Aloha." My name is Trisky. Or maybe it's Triskelion, or Principesa, or Girldog, or Queen Of The World, or The Best Girl In The World Ever. Whatever it is, you may all call me Trisky, because that's what I'm called the most. I'm here today because maybe someone in this black box that Mom always sits in front of can help us figure out what's going on. But first, I'll let the rest of the household introduce themselves.

Sano: Hi, my name, I think, is Sano. Sometimes it's Sanosuke, sometimes it's Zanza, or Boydog, or Get Away From The Garbage, or Get In Here Now. My name used to be something else, about five hundred years ago when I lived in a cage for a really long time and there was no yard but lots of other dogs that I could see but not play with and Mom says that I smelled pretty bad when I was at that place and I really needed a bath--jeez, I hate those--before I set paw on her silver rug, but I forget what my name was back then, and anyway...

Pendragon: Umm, excuse me, four-legged hairy things that keep invading my territory? Shut up. It's my turn to talk. I'm Pendragon, Greenman, Lizard King, Scaly One, Freshness, My Sweetheart, or You Naughty Thing. And you are all in MY space. MY house. I might have to KILL you all later if you're all still here. I just know there's a point to all of this nonsense. Oh, wait... Ahhhh... afternoon sun. Later.

Cassidy: HI! HI! HI! HI! I am a bluejay with one and a half wings. My name is... OH! A shiney thing! (*peck peck*) That was fun! (*Whistles the theme from Star Wars*) What's everyone doing? (*Whistles Malon's Theme from Ocarina of Time*) HEY! A peanut! GIMME! (*Whistles Aloha 'Oe*)

Lil Jon: I'm a brain damaged grackle. What? Huh? CUCUMBER! I must have the CUCUMBER SLICE!

Trinity: Me, I'm a little cowbird with a bum wing. Huh? PEOPLE?! AHHH! GET AWAY!

Cid: Hi, I'm a baby robin who has seizures. Why are we all talking to this black box?

Ray: Hi, I'm the latest grackle. Hmm, now, I can hear all the voices of the household, but I can't see them, you see, because I'm blind. Now, where did that bath go again?

Salvatore Giuliano: Zzzzzz.... Lettuce... Water... lettuce...water... *Hibernates*

Trisky: Yes, our Mom has a snail named Salvatore Giuliano. Anyway, now that we know who everyone is, it's time to discuss these odd goings on.

Sano: There are odd goings on?

Trisky: Yes, doofus.

Sano: Can we play, though? PLAY WITH ME!

Trisky: NO! Not now. Just pay attention. Haven't you noticed Mom acting very strangely lately?

Sano: You mean when she comes home from that place at night dressed all in black, all happy and kicking things that aren't there and saying "HYAH!"

Trisky: That's been going on since January. Aside from that. See, she's been saying a lot of strange things to us when she pets us. Things like, "Guys, our lives are going to change soon." And, "I wonder where he'll sleep?"

Sano: Maybe it means... umm... that we're going to PLAY! Play with me! PLAY! PLAY! NOW! PLAY!

Trisky: GRRR! I said settle down. Don't make me bite you.

Pendragon: Can you hairy things keep it down in there? I'm trying to sun on this soft, white branch and you're disturbing me. I might have to tail whip you.

Trisky: If you actually had a long tail anymore, I might be worried. But anyway, there have been other hints, too. I saw her bring in a few bags last night and hide them. I was pretty sure I smelled Booda Bones in there. But if so, why can't we have them?

Sano: Easy! Because she's saving them for RIGHT NOW!

Trisky: And, in case no one else has noticed, there are new things in the kitchen, too. A rubber mat (that smells really good, I just want to roll in it!) with two brand new, shiny silver bowls on it. Didn't you see them?

Sano: I saw them. I thought they were for me. But then I stuck my head in them and noticed they were both empty. Bone dry! Now, why would Mom put two empty bowls down on the ground? They're not even lifted up, like ours.

Trisky: Well done. Empty bowls on the floor. Why? So that something small could reach them? But if so, what?

Pendragon: Maybe she's decided to give me live food.

Sano: Maybe it's a TOY! The kind that moves around and makes a lot of noise! So that we can PLAY! LIKE NOW! PLAY WITH ME!

Trisky: She wouldn't go through this much trouble for a toy. Or for live food. And once in a while she comes home smelling of other dogs.

Sano: But she always does that. It's The Bad Place That Makes Us Howl. She goes there all the time. She calls it "Work."

Trisky: Duh, I know, but when she comes home from The Bad Place That Makes Us Howl smelling of other dogs, she doesn't let us near her, and then she goes into the bathroom and comes out smelling of soap and lotion and other things that I love and wish she would let me eat. When she comes home from this other place smelling of dogs, she holds her hands out so that we can smell the other dogs.

Sano: Yeah, that's right.

Trisky: And the other dogs smell weird. They smell new.

Sano: Yeah... Kinda familiar, actually.

Trisky: Yes, but I just can't put my claw on why it's so familiar.

Pendragon: You guys are too stressful. You should just lie in the sun for a while, you might... AHHHHHH!!! I MUST KILL EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD!!! ...Ahhh, sun.

Trisky: Small things that smell new...

Sano: Don't worry about it. It's Friday night! Mom will be home all weekend. You know what that means. PLAYING! LOTS OF PLAYING! LET'S PLAY NOW!!!

Trisky: *Ponders* ...Hmm. For a second there I almost had it.

The household speaks

Trisky: Hi, or as Mom would say, "Aloha." My name is Trisky. Or maybe it's Triskelion, or Principesa, or Girldog, or Queen Of The World, or The Best Girl In The World Ever. Whatever it is, you may all call me Trisky, because that's what I'm called the most. I'm here today because maybe someone in this black box that Mom always sits in front of can help us figure out what's going on. But first, I'll let the rest of the household introduce themselves.

Sano: Hi, my name, I think, is Sano. Sometimes it's Sanosuke, sometimes it's Zanza, or Boydog, or Get Away From The Garbage, or Get In Here Now. My name used to be something else, about five hundred years ago when I lived in a cage for a really long time and there was no yard but lots of other dogs that I could see but not play with and Mom says that I smelled pretty bad when I was at that place and I really needed a bath--jeez, I hate those--before I set paw on her silver rug, but I forget what my name was back then, and anyway...

Pendragon: Umm, excuse me, four-legged hairy things that keep invading my territory? Shut up. It's my turn to talk. I'm Pendragon, Greenman, Lizard King, Scaly One, Freshness, My Sweetheart, or You Naughty Thing. And you are all in MY space. MY house. I might have to KILL you all later if you're all still here. I just know there's a point to all of this nonsense. Oh, wait... Ahhhh... afternoon sun. Later.

Cassidy: HI! HI! HI! HI! I am a bluejay with one and a half wings. My name is... OH! A shiney thing! (*peck peck*) That was fun! (*Whistles the theme from Star Wars*) What's everyone doing? (*Whistles Malon's Theme from Ocarina of Time*) HEY! A peanut! GIMME! (*Whistles Aloha 'Oe*)

Lil Jon: I'm a brain damaged grackle. What? Huh? CUCUMBER! I must have the CUCUMBER SLICE!

Trinity: Me, I'm a little cowbird with a bum wing. Huh? PEOPLE?! AHHH! GET AWAY!

Cid: Hi, I'm a baby robin who has seizures. Why are we all talking to this black box?

Ray: Hi, I'm the latest grackle. Hmm, now, I can hear all the voices of the household, but I can't see them, you see, because I'm blind. Now, where did that bath go again?

Salvatore Giuliano: Zzzzzz.... Lettuce... Water... lettuce...water... *Hibernates*

Trisky: Yes, our Mom has a snail named Salvatore Giuliano. Anyway, now that we know who everyone is, it's time to discuss these odd goings on.

Sano: There are odd goings on?

Trisky: Yes, doofus.

Sano: Can we play, though? PLAY WITH ME!

Trisky: NO! Not now. Just pay attention. Haven't you noticed Mom acting very strangely lately?

Sano: You mean when she comes home from that place at night dressed all in black, all happy and kicking things that aren't there and saying "HYAH!"

Trisky: That's been going on since January. Aside from that. See, she's been saying a lot of strange things to us when she pets us. Things like, "Guys, our lives are going to change soon." And, "I wonder where he'll sleep?"

Sano: Maybe it means... umm... that we're going to PLAY! Play with me! PLAY! PLAY! NOW! PLAY!

Trisky: GRRR! I said settle down. Don't make me bite you.

Pendragon: Can you hairy things keep it down in there? I'm trying to sun on this soft, white branch and you're disturbing me. I might have to tail whip you.

Trisky: If you actually had a long tail anymore, I might be worried. But anyway, there have been other hints, too. I saw her bring in a few bags last night and hide them. I was pretty sure I smelled Booda Bones in there. But if so, why can't we have them?

Sano: Easy! Because she's saving them for RIGHT NOW!

Trisky: And, in case no one else has noticed, there are new things in the kitchen, too. A rubber mat (that smells really good, I just want to roll in it!) with two brand new, shiny silver bowls on it. Didn't you see them?

Sano: I saw them. I thought they were for me. But then I stuck my head in them and noticed they were both empty. Bone dry! Now, why would Mom put two empty bowls down on the ground? They're not even lifted up, like ours.

Trisky: Well done. Empty bowls on the floor. Why? So that something small could reach them? But if so, what?

Pendragon: Maybe she's decided to give me live food.

Sano: Maybe it's a TOY! The kind that moves around and makes a lot of noise! So that we can PLAY! LIKE NOW! PLAY WITH ME!

Trisky: She wouldn't go through this much trouble for a toy. Or for live food. And once in a while she comes home smelling of other dogs.

Sano: But she always does that. It's The Bad Place That Makes Us Howl. She goes there all the time. She calls it "Work."

Trisky: Duh, I know, but when she comes home from The Bad Place That Makes Us Howl smelling of other dogs, she doesn't let us near her, and then she goes into the bathroom and comes out smelling of soap and lotion and other things that I love and wish she would let me eat. When she comes home from this other place smelling of dogs, she holds her hands out so that we can smell the other dogs.

Sano: Yeah, that's right.

Trisky: And the other dogs smell weird. They smell new.

Sano: Yeah... Kinda familiar, actually.

Trisky: Yes, but I just can't put my claw on why it's so familiar.

Pendragon: You guys are too stressful. You should just lie in the sun for a while, you might... AHHHHHH!!! I MUST KILL EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD!!! ...Ahhh, sun.

Trisky: Small things that smell new...

Sano: Don't worry about it. It's Friday night! Mom will be home all weekend. You know what that means. PLAYING! LOTS OF PLAYING! LET'S PLAY NOW!!!

Trisky: *Ponders* ...Hmm. For a second there I almost had it.