la_belle_laide: (witch)
la_belle_laide ([personal profile] la_belle_laide) wrote2010-01-29 03:09 pm

Crack dreams and issues, as usual




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Umm, I am so looking forward to the next few hours in which I can revise and re-write, but I have to address the dream I had last night, too. These are the dreams that make me burn, burn to write once I wake up. But first I have to get it out of my head and in front of my eyes.

It started out being about Dexter. (Well duh.) He got caught, but was not in prison or anything. Instead, he was locked in my childhood playroom, which, in the dream, had fishtanks and all manner of reptiles in tanks and cages along with a bunch of my old baby toys. As a part of his punishment, they (“they” being random law enforcers) had removed his eyes, just plucked them right on out.

I have mentioned this before but in case anyone doesn't know: When a character in my dream gets into big trouble, my dream-self is convinced that they can't handle this on their own, and steps in as a surrogate until the problem is resolved in some way that really fires up my nerves – but in a good way. It's as if I have a mission, one that I'm dying to accomplish, and it involves saving someone. Because I somehow know how the cards are stacked, and they don't.

So, in order to help, I step in and become Dexter. My way of helping this time is to unlock the door (security's not too great in this playroom) and face the captors reasonably. I'm not yet going to do anything by force. But when I try to explain to them that I—Dexter--have not really done anything morally wrong (remember, it's just a dream, okay, I don't condone serial killing!) I find that they've also removed his tongue. OMG, now how am I supposed to explain this? And then I hear them talking about how other body parts are next! So I run back into the playroom where I find my Wonderful Glassworker friend there. She will understand, for sure. To my surprise, she does, and she slams the door shut to stop them from getting in. We're trapped, but I—Dexter--can't tell her anything because of the whole no tongue issue. And even though they took his eyes out, I can still see. I can't let anyone know that I can see, so that has to remain our little secret.

In the corner I find my old guitar, the one I bought for myself with my first few real paychecks when I was 16. I think, Well, I'm in here for a while. I might as well re-lean how to play the guitar. If I—Dexter--can't speak, at least I can make music.

Then I sat down and started playing Ozzy's Diary of A Madman. (That's not as significant as you might think. I could play the crap out of that song when I was a kid, and I heard it on my iPod recently.)

Then the dream kind of switched, and I was in Disneyworld with Haku and Sano. Dad came along. This is the first time I've dreamed of him, knowing he wasn't really here. Usually in my dreams, he is still with us and then when I wake up, it takes me a second to remember. But in this dream, I already remembered. Put I kind of shoved logic to the back. He patted Haku, like he always did, and said, “Poor little guy. Poor little Haku-kuku.” Which is exactly what he always said whenever Haku had his health problems. I started crying (like I am now, god! I'm such a little kid sometimes,) and Dad said, “What the hell you still crying for?” (Which is exactly what he would say.) Then he asked me how Dexter ended. I said, “I can't tell you; that would be spoiling it. You just have to watch it for yourself!”

Then I woke up, and I knew exactly what I wanted to to do liven up the pace in my story. I've got it all worked out – or at least I had, at 9 AM. It seemed perfect, like it couldn't fail. I guess that's why I'm so excited today. I can't explain it. Once I woke up, I just knew.

Before I get to writing it, I want to add just a few more things. I just gutted the other day to learn of the loss of Jo-chan's and SB's wonderful dog Fiona. She was a big old beautiful Irish Wolfhound with a gentle heart. She died of bone cancer, the same thing that got Trisky. Jo-chan, who still lives at home, is just devastated. I'm gonna miss old Fi; she was a beaut.

I brought my poor deceased Valentine fish back to the store today and had the Fish Guy check my water. He said the water was perfect, so probably I'd just gotten a bad group of guppies (they all died, too,) and an already sick betta. Don't I just pick them? So he gave me my money back and threw in a nice marble molly, too. Then I bought a silver and black catfish which is the coolest looking fish ever. Hopefully these will work out.

While I was out, I bought season 2 of Dexter at Border's. I had an awesome coupon, and it was on sale. I paid $23 for the whole season! I walked around Border's for a few minutes, just seeing my own books on the shelves. (And a new Margaret Weiss called Dragons of the Hourglass Mage. I'll wait till it goes to paperback, but goddamnit, why am I still in love with Raistlin Majere?) I was filled with excitement and longing. Waiting on the longass line, the woman behind me started chatting with me. She had four books in her hand and told me about how she and her husband were going on a road trip and she needed tons of books to read. I told her that someday, she'd be seeing my books on the endcaps there. She asked what they were about and I exuberantly told her, “A time traveling physics teacher!” She thought it sounded really neat. She wished me luck and promised she'd buy it someday. ^_^ Haha, I love my local peeps. But, going back to this morning, I don't know, I just have a feeling.

Dogs: Sano is less itchy, Haku is tons MORE itchy. And this lime sulfur stuff reeks. I hate it.

Today I spent more money than I have. I haven't done that in a while, but I needed to fill my gas tank, buy some groceries, then I realized that I am in fact missing about three Kenshin DVDs. (Mom and I are watching Kenshin lately, and we're right up the part where my collection has a huge gap. WTF!) So I went to Amazon and shelled out the, like, $40 for season one. I have the rest of them. Waiting. I hate it!

Last night the Gold Dragon called me. I told him how disappointed I was that I had to cancel and that I was sorry it was on such short notice. “Don't be sorry,” he said. “You're doing me a huge favor. Let me know when everything's all settled.” Then I just rambled about the whole damn ordeal. “...and both my dogs got it, and I have to bleach everything and I hate bleach, and this dip smells like rotten eggs, and I broke the washing machine and, and, and!” “Wow,” he said, “you have really bad luck. It's not contagious, is it?”

I seriously hope not.

And anyway, my luck will turn around with the Chinese New Year. Man, I just know it!

[identity profile] malenka-zeut.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Your dreams are always wild. I wanted to let you know that I'm on the waiting list at the video store for season one of Dexter and I get to start on Sunday! Woo! I'm really sorry to hear about Fiona. I think I met her. At least I know I met an Irish Wolfhound of theirs when she was quite young, but how long ago is a blur now. I love that breed and I've never met a mean one. Some folks here had three of them and two died in the same week. The one that was left behind was pining so awfully that they had to get another dog for him even though they weren't ready themselves, but it ended up (as often happens when we get unexpected new animals in our lives) to be a perfect family match. Bad luck isn't contagious as far as I can tell. I had a weird experience in my year of hell, 2005, in that unbeknownst to me at the time, it was such a good year for most of my friends but they were too embarrassed to tell me because they felt sorry for me and thought it would seem like rubbing it in. I wish they had. It'd have been nice to hear happy things then, but I know their hearts were in the right place.

[identity profile] shonagonchan.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You might have met Fiona, but I'm thinking maybe it was MaCushla, their old IW. Cushie was over for a few holidays.

Oh man, you are going to LOVE Dexter. :) Let me know what you think!

[identity profile] malenka-zeut.livejournal.com 2010-02-01 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
You're right, it was Cushie that I met. Such great dogs.

I botched Dexter night, it's tomorrow. Oh well, today was hectic anyway, tomorrow will be better for it.

(Anonymous) 2010-01-30 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
I just thought you might want to know that some asshole is pretending to be you at Mayo's.

[identity profile] shonagonchan.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Ehhh, let them have their fun.