la_belle_laide (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
la_belle_laide) wrote2010-10-28 12:34 am
la_belle_laide) wrote2010-10-28 12:34 am
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I just saw my first Star Trek thing ever.
It was preposterous! I was like whaaaaaat?
But I watched it because T-hard was in it. Was this his first ever movie? Because he was just a tiny baby, not even yet buff, and he inexplicably reminded me of Blackadder. He didn't even have his grown up voice yet. Oops, I tell a lie; I see that he was in Black Hawk Down with my husband, Ewan McGregor. WTF, I saw that movie and I hardly remember it.
Anyway, T-Hard was supposed to be this badass villain, and he was portrayed all intimidating-like on the cover with a really cool knife. But in the movie he only whipped that thing out once. And he played such a sickly scared dying little boy that it was impossible to feel any kind of threatened by him or feel anything other than pity.
However he's got almost the same nose as Patrick Stewart (who, every time I see him, I can only think of him saying "I'VE GOT GIRL-BOOBS" on Family Guy.) Tom Hardy, best nose ever, seriously. And his space ship was really rad. Chicks love a guy with a sweet ride.
Then there was this robot like Bishop in Alien, and a guy named Number One which, to me, that's way better than being Number Two if you know what I mean, and Number 1 was married to some lady. Came a scene where they were about to get it on, when all of a sudden the Viceroy from Star Wars it seemed like, hooked up the gal's brain to see Tom Hardy instead of her husband Number 1 and she was all like "DAHHH, OMG NO" and I was like, Bitch seriously, are you upset about this? Come on, get real. Someone needs to hook my brain up like that.
Then there were a lot of people shooting at each other very poorly—PEW!PEW!--and only the bad guys ever got hit, and lots of people got beamed back and forth between the two space ships, and like I said, T-Hard's space ship was really sweet and looked like a lionfish.
And then T-Hard was all mad at the world and pathetic and was going to blow up the Earth and he was chargin' up his laser, and then Patrick Stewart was like "I'VE GOT GIRL-BOOBS" "No Tom, you should please not do that!" *stab stab* Then Bishop was like ZAP and everyone was all "But where was the Earth-shattering Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!"
Then I fell asleep for a couple of minutes I guess, because the next thing I knew it was the credits.
And that's my first ever viewing of anything having to do with Star Trek. ^_^
P.S. He wore really shiny clothes too, like you might see in Velvet Goldmine.
P.P.S. Then he grew up to be Mr. Eames. BRRRRRM!" Seriously, click on that and play with it. It's insane how something so pointless can provide such repetitive fun.
But I watched it because T-hard was in it. Was this his first ever movie? Because he was just a tiny baby, not even yet buff, and he inexplicably reminded me of Blackadder. He didn't even have his grown up voice yet. Oops, I tell a lie; I see that he was in Black Hawk Down with my husband, Ewan McGregor. WTF, I saw that movie and I hardly remember it.
Anyway, T-Hard was supposed to be this badass villain, and he was portrayed all intimidating-like on the cover with a really cool knife. But in the movie he only whipped that thing out once. And he played such a sickly scared dying little boy that it was impossible to feel any kind of threatened by him or feel anything other than pity.
However he's got almost the same nose as Patrick Stewart (who, every time I see him, I can only think of him saying "I'VE GOT GIRL-BOOBS" on Family Guy.) Tom Hardy, best nose ever, seriously. And his space ship was really rad. Chicks love a guy with a sweet ride.
Then there was this robot like Bishop in Alien, and a guy named Number One which, to me, that's way better than being Number Two if you know what I mean, and Number 1 was married to some lady. Came a scene where they were about to get it on, when all of a sudden the Viceroy from Star Wars it seemed like, hooked up the gal's brain to see Tom Hardy instead of her husband Number 1 and she was all like "DAHHH, OMG NO" and I was like, Bitch seriously, are you upset about this? Come on, get real. Someone needs to hook my brain up like that.
Then there were a lot of people shooting at each other very poorly—PEW!PEW!--and only the bad guys ever got hit, and lots of people got beamed back and forth between the two space ships, and like I said, T-Hard's space ship was really sweet and looked like a lionfish.
And then T-Hard was all mad at the world and pathetic and was going to blow up the Earth and he was chargin' up his laser, and then Patrick Stewart was like "
Then I fell asleep for a couple of minutes I guess, because the next thing I knew it was the credits.
And that's my first ever viewing of anything having to do with Star Trek. ^_^
P.S. He wore really shiny clothes too, like you might see in Velvet Goldmine.
P.P.S. Then he grew up to be Mr. Eames. BRRRRRM!" Seriously, click on that and play with it. It's insane how something so pointless can provide such repetitive fun.
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