la_belle_laide: (Shannon)



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There are some things you need to know about me before you read my song by song, sometimes minute by minute review of the new 30 Seconds To Mars album, THIS IS WAR.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I am a huge ridiculous 30STM fanpoodle. I've seen them a whole handful of times, met them a couple of times, even made them some necklaces with the help of my wonderful glass-worker friend. I have all of their unreleased music, live stuff, acoustic versions etc. on my iPod. That's the first thing you need to know.

The second thing you need to know is that I'm a totally unbiased fanpoodle—yes, such a thing is possible—and I don't like, nor feel obliged to like, everything they've ever done. So when I fall in love with a song, it's because I'm in love with the song. I can't fake an eargasm. If I don't like something, I won't lie about finding it kinda “meh.”

The third thing you need to know about me is that I am musically retarded. I love music, I love to sing and dance and play tunes but I cannot read music and am not formally trained. Therefore I lack the vocabulary to really say what I'm talking about in most cases. Apologies.

But you can still you can trust me. ^_^

There are a few observations I'd like to make about the album overall before I go song by song.

The first one I'd like to make is that, if you are naughty like me and you downloaded the album before its official release date, THE OFFICIAL VERSION IS VERY DIFFERENT. Seriously. Like Kanye-less different. Be a good person and buy the music. (I had mine on pre-order since the day it was available to pre-order but that doesn't make me a better person than anyone else. I still DL'ed the naughty version. I just couldn't wait. It's a long drive to college and I needed something new to listen to. :D )

The second thing about this album is how majestic it is. It's HUGE. Seriously, this album is, like, Fuji-esque. It's Everestial. Kilimanjarian? It's just very large and majestic, a tremendous undertaking. You really kinda don't want to listen to only half; like, you want to have a long enough car ride or whatever so that you can hear the whole thing. And by the way, it's nice and long, too. LOL that's what she said. Anyway.

The third thing about This Is War is, WHY HELLO SYNTHESIZERS. My personal tastes run more towards heavy guitar and light on the synths (if any at all) which is why I am still and forever will be in love with their first, self-titled album which I think is without flaw, lyrically and musically. In A Beautiful Lie, they started edging towards synthiness, but still with some mighty guitarishness, but the lyrics had shifted from being about ideas (self-titled) to these things that you humans call “emotions.” ABL was an album about relationships, whether with another person or with oneself. (*Snicker* Not in that way.)

On This Is War, while I could totally have done with a lot more guitar and bass and crunchiness, I really enjoy the more sociological direction of the lyrics. And—this is only my own personal interpretation—I feel like some of it is about last year's presidential election. But more on that later. Point is, there's some real poetry on this album, and once in a while a lyric startles me with its imagery. I dote on surprising metaphors and I am so pleased with many of these lyrics.

There's one other thing that I felt was missing on this album, and I also felt was missing on ABL, and it's this goddamn creepyass beautiful insane thing that JLeto does with his voice on the self-titled. I can't really explain unless you hear it, but on the s/t, he's got this quality that I call “the menacing buzz” where he makes his voice sound like an angry swarm of a hundred thousand bees, and he holds these notes for just about ever. It was mostly on the s/t era unreleased tracks. The only thing I can do is show you. My favorite 30 song (after Edge Of The Earth) is an unreleased one called Valhalla. Just go about a quarter of the way in, maybe a little sooner, to where he says “Play again, in the hopes that you'll know where you've been,” and he holds the word “been” in that menacing voice for about a thousand years. You can also hear it in the song Revolution, another unreleased one. Go in about ¾ or more to the end when he's singing “I'm an American” for the last time in the last chorus and, holy god he just holds that buzzing note like it's the last one he'll ever sing.

Gosh, me and my unreleased 30STM songs. O_O So sorry. Anyway, this is about the NEW album, so onward.

The other thing that's missing from the album is Matt Wachter. I do wonder if they'll ever replace him. Though there is bass on this album (and I suspect Jared Leto plays it, since homeboy can play every instrument he puts his hands on,) well, I still miss Matticus. 30 is a trio now. Oh well, it's kinda cool though, three being that first prime number and all. ^_^

Now, a run-down of the songs. All of them. And the parts that I love. Sometimes by the minute. ^_^ I'll be kind to my f-list and put the longer ones under a cut.

REVENGE.
“Prepare for judgment; only then will I get revenge...”

Guess what? This song is not on the album! It's a live song from a radio show that didn't make the cut. WHY? I want to know why. I'm putting it on my list anyway. It's gorgeous, just JLeto and Tomo playing guitars, and J showcasing his full and amazing range and control. Shades of Muse here. Whatever crazy minor key (I think?) that he's singing in here is spine-tingling. It's a brief song, but very soulful.

ESCAPE
“It's time to pay...”

Even briefer, but huge. Welcome to This Is War and please begin to notice our theme of, well, war. And betrayal, anger, heartbreak, and, yeah. War. Here's Shannon Leto, (the brother with the incredible eyes and best eyebrows ever, but that's a story for another time,) reminding me why he is ridiculously superior to most drummers I could name off the top of my head.

JLeto at 1:30 singing through clenched teeth: “It's time to pay,” is the best part of the song. No wait, I tell a lie. The chorus of “THIS IS WAR” (and I do mean “chorus” as 30STM gathered thousands of fans for various “summits” to sing huge background throughout the album,) with its creepy little half-step upslide at the end is the best part. :)


NIGHT OF THE HUNTER
One, Two, Three, FIVE. )

The French ending, heh, kinda sounds like the indulgence of a snobby intellectual pleased with his own cleverness. And I say that as a snobby pseudo- intellectual often overly pleased with her own cleverness. ;D


KINGS AND QUEENS
The age of man is over.... )


THIS IS WAR
It's a brave new world... )


100 SUNS
I believe in nothing... )
Shoots, I know he probably didn't mean it exactly like that, but he's got his fingers right on the carotid of quantum physics and I kind of very much love him for that, even if he didn't do it on purpose. :)


HURRICANE (My favorite track so far! And, so sorry, but I'm using the uncut, unreleased version, 'cause I favor that one.)
Where is your god? Where is your god? Where is your god? )
I like the end of this song, the little robot sounds, because they fit the cold tone of the entire song. Of note: the CD version has a verse added that was not on the naughty copy; it replaces Kanye's part. I'm flummoxed why they dropped him from the released version, however the added verse is beautiful.


CLOSER TO THE EDGE
We all fall short of glory... )
If I'm on a quick ride, this is the one I skip.


VOX POPULI (I wish they'd named the CD Vox Populi.)
Stamp, stamp, clap! )


SEARCH AND DESTROY
I’m no Jesus, but, neither are you, my friend... )


ALIBI
I fell apart, but got back up again... )
Nana korobi - ya oki. Fall seven times and get up eight. This song is beautiful. I love it all the way to the end.


STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND
If you're looking for Jesus, then get on your knees... )
Best creepy song ending ever: the smothered fade-out. I don't even know what the hell he's saying, but I love it.


L490 / EQUINOX

What can I say? JLeto says that SLeto played every instrument on this song. I think SLeto just stared at all the instruments with his eerie greengold-ish cat-eyes until they played what he wanted by themselves.

Whatever's going on from 3:15 to the end, I have no idea WTF. It is creepy enough when I play it in my car on the way home at night on long, unlit roads. But when I played it tonight on my computer and my dog jumped up and started staring at the door, it full on scared the everloving christ out of me. THANKS, GUYS! Naw, but I'm down with the creepy stuff, for real, I am all about creepy.

BTW, L490 is Naproxen. WTF?

Anyway, that's the end of the version(s) of the album that I have. I understand that there's a song you can only get on iTunes and I think it's a synthy remix of Kings and Queens. I'll take my K&Q straight up and organic, thanks, but I'm sure it's supercool.

And that's that! There's my crazy review of this entire album start to finish. I ♥ this band, and this album is a mixture of their old ideas with a new sound. It's catchy, with melodic guitars and songs that stick to your brain like peanut butter. Yadda yadda dicker dicker blah, typical review wrap-up, right? Enough of that! This Is War is dark, cold, heavy on the drums, and JLeto's got this incredible voice and amazing control and the good sense to play around with his stratospheric talent instead of being safe. The album is full of ideas and notions, but as cold as it sounds, it doesn't lack passion. This is a winter album for sure.

Its two biggest themes are revenge, and Jesus. I don't deny that I'm seriously curious where the Jesus stuff comes in. I can take a guess at the “revenge” part (part ridiculous lawsuit, part some personal betrayal, I'd wager,) but the “Wow, the religious right totally wronged me” stuff has me A) wondering and B) wanting to share a high-five of empathy.

Do go out and take a listen to This Is War. Even if you think it's maybe not your type of music, take a free quick listen on iTunes and see if anything catches your fancy. Perhaps you all might like it. It's sure different. :D

And wow, I can't wait till they come back out to NY so I can be part of the fan-chorus.
la_belle_laide: (Shannon)



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There are some things you need to know about me before you read my song by song, sometimes minute by minute review of the new 30 Seconds To Mars album, THIS IS WAR.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I am a huge ridiculous 30STM fanpoodle. I've seen them a whole handful of times, met them a couple of times, even made them some necklaces with the help of my wonderful glass-worker friend. I have all of their unreleased music, live stuff, acoustic versions etc. on my iPod. That's the first thing you need to know.

The second thing you need to know is that I'm a totally unbiased fanpoodle—yes, such a thing is possible—and I don't like, nor feel obliged to like, everything they've ever done. So when I fall in love with a song, it's because I'm in love with the song. I can't fake an eargasm. If I don't like something, I won't lie about finding it kinda “meh.”

The third thing you need to know about me is that I am musically retarded. I love music, I love to sing and dance and play tunes but I cannot read music and am not formally trained. Therefore I lack the vocabulary to really say what I'm talking about in most cases. Apologies.

But you can still you can trust me. ^_^

There are a few observations I'd like to make about the album overall before I go song by song.

The first one I'd like to make is that, if you are naughty like me and you downloaded the album before its official release date, THE OFFICIAL VERSION IS VERY DIFFERENT. Seriously. Like Kanye-less different. Be a good person and buy the music. (I had mine on pre-order since the day it was available to pre-order but that doesn't make me a better person than anyone else. I still DL'ed the naughty version. I just couldn't wait. It's a long drive to college and I needed something new to listen to. :D )

The second thing about this album is how majestic it is. It's HUGE. Seriously, this album is, like, Fuji-esque. It's Everestial. Kilimanjarian? It's just very large and majestic, a tremendous undertaking. You really kinda don't want to listen to only half; like, you want to have a long enough car ride or whatever so that you can hear the whole thing. And by the way, it's nice and long, too. LOL that's what she said. Anyway.

The third thing about This Is War is, WHY HELLO SYNTHESIZERS. My personal tastes run more towards heavy guitar and light on the synths (if any at all) which is why I am still and forever will be in love with their first, self-titled album which I think is without flaw, lyrically and musically. In A Beautiful Lie, they started edging towards synthiness, but still with some mighty guitarishness, but the lyrics had shifted from being about ideas (self-titled) to these things that you humans call “emotions.” ABL was an album about relationships, whether with another person or with oneself. (*Snicker* Not in that way.)

On This Is War, while I could totally have done with a lot more guitar and bass and crunchiness, I really enjoy the more sociological direction of the lyrics. And—this is only my own personal interpretation—I feel like some of it is about last year's presidential election. But more on that later. Point is, there's some real poetry on this album, and once in a while a lyric startles me with its imagery. I dote on surprising metaphors and I am so pleased with many of these lyrics.

There's one other thing that I felt was missing on this album, and I also felt was missing on ABL, and it's this goddamn creepyass beautiful insane thing that JLeto does with his voice on the self-titled. I can't really explain unless you hear it, but on the s/t, he's got this quality that I call “the menacing buzz” where he makes his voice sound like an angry swarm of a hundred thousand bees, and he holds these notes for just about ever. It was mostly on the s/t era unreleased tracks. The only thing I can do is show you. My favorite 30 song (after Edge Of The Earth) is an unreleased one called Valhalla. Just go about a quarter of the way in, maybe a little sooner, to where he says “Play again, in the hopes that you'll know where you've been,” and he holds the word “been” in that menacing voice for about a thousand years. You can also hear it in the song Revolution, another unreleased one. Go in about ¾ or more to the end when he's singing “I'm an American” for the last time in the last chorus and, holy god he just holds that buzzing note like it's the last one he'll ever sing.

Gosh, me and my unreleased 30STM songs. O_O So sorry. Anyway, this is about the NEW album, so onward.

The other thing that's missing from the album is Matt Wachter. I do wonder if they'll ever replace him. Though there is bass on this album (and I suspect Jared Leto plays it, since homeboy can play every instrument he puts his hands on,) well, I still miss Matticus. 30 is a trio now. Oh well, it's kinda cool though, three being that first prime number and all. ^_^

Now, a run-down of the songs. All of them. And the parts that I love. Sometimes by the minute. ^_^ I'll be kind to my f-list and put the longer ones under a cut.

REVENGE.
“Prepare for judgment; only then will I get revenge...”

Guess what? This song is not on the album! It's a live song from a radio show that didn't make the cut. WHY? I want to know why. I'm putting it on my list anyway. It's gorgeous, just JLeto and Tomo playing guitars, and J showcasing his full and amazing range and control. Shades of Muse here. Whatever crazy minor key (I think?) that he's singing in here is spine-tingling. It's a brief song, but very soulful.

ESCAPE
“It's time to pay...”

Even briefer, but huge. Welcome to This Is War and please begin to notice our theme of, well, war. And betrayal, anger, heartbreak, and, yeah. War. Here's Shannon Leto, (the brother with the incredible eyes and best eyebrows ever, but that's a story for another time,) reminding me why he is ridiculously superior to most drummers I could name off the top of my head.

JLeto at 1:30 singing through clenched teeth: “It's time to pay,” is the best part of the song. No wait, I tell a lie. The chorus of “THIS IS WAR” (and I do mean “chorus” as 30STM gathered thousands of fans for various “summits” to sing huge background throughout the album,) with its creepy little half-step upslide at the end is the best part. :)


NIGHT OF THE HUNTER
One, Two, Three, FIVE. )

The French ending, heh, kinda sounds like the indulgence of a snobby intellectual pleased with his own cleverness. And I say that as a snobby pseudo- intellectual often overly pleased with her own cleverness. ;D


KINGS AND QUEENS
The age of man is over.... )


THIS IS WAR
It's a brave new world... )


100 SUNS
I believe in nothing... )
Shoots, I know he probably didn't mean it exactly like that, but he's got his fingers right on the carotid of quantum physics and I kind of very much love him for that, even if he didn't do it on purpose. :)


HURRICANE (My favorite track so far! And, so sorry, but I'm using the uncut, unreleased version, 'cause I favor that one.)
Where is your god? Where is your god? Where is your god? )
I like the end of this song, the little robot sounds, because they fit the cold tone of the entire song. Of note: the CD version has a verse added that was not on the naughty copy; it replaces Kanye's part. I'm flummoxed why they dropped him from the released version, however the added verse is beautiful.


CLOSER TO THE EDGE
We all fall short of glory... )
If I'm on a quick ride, this is the one I skip.


VOX POPULI (I wish they'd named the CD Vox Populi.)
Stamp, stamp, clap! )


SEARCH AND DESTROY
I’m no Jesus, but, neither are you, my friend... )


ALIBI
I fell apart, but got back up again... )
Nana korobi - ya oki. Fall seven times and get up eight. This song is beautiful. I love it all the way to the end.


STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND
If you're looking for Jesus, then get on your knees... )
Best creepy song ending ever: the smothered fade-out. I don't even know what the hell he's saying, but I love it.


L490 / EQUINOX

What can I say? JLeto says that SLeto played every instrument on this song. I think SLeto just stared at all the instruments with his eerie greengold-ish cat-eyes until they played what he wanted by themselves.

Whatever's going on from 3:15 to the end, I have no idea WTF. It is creepy enough when I play it in my car on the way home at night on long, unlit roads. But when I played it tonight on my computer and my dog jumped up and started staring at the door, it full on scared the everloving christ out of me. THANKS, GUYS! Naw, but I'm down with the creepy stuff, for real, I am all about creepy.

BTW, L490 is Naproxen. WTF?

Anyway, that's the end of the version(s) of the album that I have. I understand that there's a song you can only get on iTunes and I think it's a synthy remix of Kings and Queens. I'll take my K&Q straight up and organic, thanks, but I'm sure it's supercool.

And that's that! There's my crazy review of this entire album start to finish. I ♥ this band, and this album is a mixture of their old ideas with a new sound. It's catchy, with melodic guitars and songs that stick to your brain like peanut butter. Yadda yadda dicker dicker blah, typical review wrap-up, right? Enough of that! This Is War is dark, cold, heavy on the drums, and JLeto's got this incredible voice and amazing control and the good sense to play around with his stratospheric talent instead of being safe. The album is full of ideas and notions, but as cold as it sounds, it doesn't lack passion. This is a winter album for sure.

Its two biggest themes are revenge, and Jesus. I don't deny that I'm seriously curious where the Jesus stuff comes in. I can take a guess at the “revenge” part (part ridiculous lawsuit, part some personal betrayal, I'd wager,) but the “Wow, the religious right totally wronged me” stuff has me A) wondering and B) wanting to share a high-five of empathy.

Do go out and take a listen to This Is War. Even if you think it's maybe not your type of music, take a free quick listen on iTunes and see if anything catches your fancy. Perhaps you all might like it. It's sure different. :D

And wow, I can't wait till they come back out to NY so I can be part of the fan-chorus.
la_belle_laide: (Leon)


Haha, I'm such a dork. The song and the cut-scenes just seemed to go together and I couldn't help myself. So now you know, when I say "I'm killing zombies," this is the game I'm playing. RE4 is a great survival/horror game and Leon is a fun and quirky hero. Hope you like this silly AMV!

This also served to remind me why I fell in love with 30STM in the first place. They are such a fantastic band. Jared's voice is so beautiful when he just lets it fly like that. ^_^

Oh: Please let it load before watching it, please have the sound on (hello, it's an animated music video,) and please watch till the end because it's very funny. ^_^





click tracking

la_belle_laide: (Leon)


Haha, I'm such a dork. The song and the cut-scenes just seemed to go together and I couldn't help myself. So now you know, when I say "I'm killing zombies," this is the game I'm playing. RE4 is a great survival/horror game and Leon is a fun and quirky hero. Hope you like this silly AMV!

This also served to remind me why I fell in love with 30STM in the first place. They are such a fantastic band. Jared's voice is so beautiful when he just lets it fly like that. ^_^

Oh: Please let it load before watching it, please have the sound on (hello, it's an animated music video,) and please watch till the end because it's very funny. ^_^





click tracking

RESPECT!

Nov. 7th, 2008 01:19 pm
la_belle_laide: (Le Jared)
Photobucket



^_________^

RESPECT!

Nov. 7th, 2008 01:19 pm
la_belle_laide: (Le Jared)
Photobucket



^_________^
la_belle_laide: (Le Jared)
Before I say anything else: I LOVE THEM, and take most of my 30STM commentary as tongue in cheek. :)



The new video for A Beautiful Lie. ^_^

Pretentious? HELLS yes. But they're doing something and there is a lot to be said for that.

Not all rock stars have forgotten their voice or turned their backs on what they believe in. So here is some cheer! Watch it before it gets taken down! The end gives you chills, not in a good way.

Superficial comments:

LOVE the use of slow motion and "bullet-time."

Even more superficial?

Oh, Shannon. Oh, back muscles!

Disappointment: I miss Matt. But at least put Tim in there, bitches! You are not a trio!
la_belle_laide: (Le Jared)
Before I say anything else: I LOVE THEM, and take most of my 30STM commentary as tongue in cheek. :)



The new video for A Beautiful Lie. ^_^

Pretentious? HELLS yes. But they're doing something and there is a lot to be said for that.

Not all rock stars have forgotten their voice or turned their backs on what they believe in. So here is some cheer! Watch it before it gets taken down! The end gives you chills, not in a good way.

Superficial comments:

LOVE the use of slow motion and "bullet-time."

Even more superficial?

Oh, Shannon. Oh, back muscles!

Disappointment: I miss Matt. But at least put Tim in there, bitches! You are not a trio!
la_belle_laide: (mantis)
This was going to be a happy, floofy post involving my thoughts on tomorrow's show, some stuff about work and the birds I'm working with, some of Friday's (yesterday's) drama and angst and hilarity and teeth-gritting and then bonding, and a few spammy thoughts on some bands I love and some boys I think are cute and some videos I wanted to share because I'm falling in love with different songs and bands etc and I can't wait for Projekt Revolution and tomorrow is Solar Fest and I bought some cool shorts today (s'up, size four?!) and how I'm driving along today listening to a song that for some random reason makes me cry in a happy way and I'm thinking, Something good is going to happen to me.

Then I came home and got an email and now I'm just angry and disappointed.

But let me start at the beginning. I got an email from Jeremy a few days ago, and it was basically, "Okay, I'm over it, I miss you, I'm sorry I said and implied the things I said and implied, can we go back to where we were?" And I answered him--as I invariably do--"Yes, of course we can, I've missed you, too." Because it was worth it to me, we've been friends since high school, that is a very long time, you know? And it's not in me to just give up. But because we've had these issues (which, remember, I absolutely did not either bring about or encourage in any way,) I had a few conditions, or at least requests. Which, I think I'm entitled to those after he's spent the last seven years running out on me everytime I wouldn't marry him. (And if I seem unfair when I say that or if you think I'm being hyperbolic because I'm angry, well, it's not unfair and I'm not being hyperbolic. Because that's exactly how it went each time.) My first condition was that this on-again/off-again thing has to stop. I asked him to make sure he had come to terms with whatever he had to deal with, because I hated this "I can't take it anymore! Get out of my life!" thing he keeps doing. My second condition was based on the fact that he got really bugged out last year when I started doing the dolphin team and I didn't have Sundays free to hang out anymore. (And he couldn't change his work schedule in order to hang out with me.) So he felt like I was pushing him away and he wanted more out of the friendship than I was "willing" to give. More time, more attention, more everything. So up front I told him this time, please don't take it personally if I can't hang out sometimes ir if I'm slow with getting back to you in email. There isn't a day in the week for this entire month and half of next month when I'm going to be home all day, and then I'm going away at the end of July for a big Hula thing, too. I told him, I'm doing three jobs this summer as well as Kung Fu. So please don't take that personally.

And then it all went to hell. )

So there you have it, guys. Those friends of mine, that I'm always writing about and how much fun we have in our limited, but cherished time together? Yeah, those aren't "real friends" and I'm only working because I really want to push them away. Now you know.

But I didn't write all of that in my reply to him. Instead I wrote him something more like, "Hey, guess what? I do have 'real friends.' They understand."

So now I'm all pissed off and self-righteous and indignant, and all of a sudden I'm just not feeling as Aloha like I was this afternoon when I was riding in the car listening to that beloved song. It occurs to me that maybe I should listen to that beloved song again and try to find that place in my head again, leave this behind. I dunno, it feels final this time.

But eff that, I'm going to go go back to where I was this afternoon, before all of this, I'm going to make the post I meant to make. It was going to start and probably finish with a song called "My Blue Heaven" by Taking Back Sunday. It was going to be about how some songs grab me by the throat right away and I'm completely obssessed on the first listen and I have to own the entire CD to see if it measures up, then search out lyrics and meanings and videos and interviews to see where they were in their minds when they wrote something that got me so emotionally involved in it, etc. Because that's what happened the first time I heard "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars and the first time I heard "I'm Not Okay" by MCR. (And later, after about two listens discovered I was kind of obssessed with the melody of "Helena" too. See because with me, sometimes it's more melody than lyrics.) I was not immediately obssessed with My Blue Heaven.

Okay, first let me backtrack a little. Remember that I saw Taking Back Sunday last summer and I enjoyed them even if they didn't grab me by the throat right away, (and honestly one of the best moments of that night was the way my friend--you know, those imaginary beings which I apparently don't really have and just make up in my mind to fill the void in my cold, dead heart?--utterly lost her crap the moment they took the stage; seriously it was awesome,) and that I saw The Used for a few minutes (and heard them for about an hour) during Taste Of Chaos and wasn't overly impressed; all I could hear was Bert (Phil) McCracken screaming the entire time, no melody--I get obssessed with melodies, remember--and then later that night Bert came to where we were hanging out, he was so self-involved with his crazy antics and he shoved Meghan out of his way as he was running past us while he was getting chased by fangirls, I saw him a few minutes later signing autographs or saying that he was going to sign autographs in a few minutes or something and I thought, "This is silly." (It totally was.)

So anyway on Tuesday night I was trolling youtube, and I don't quite remember what it was that I was looking for though I'll admit it was probably something like Bert and Gerard making out, when a link for The Used's video The Bird And The Worm came up, and because I was bored and the centerpoint still of the video looked interesting, I clicked on it. To my surprise and chargrin, I immediately loved the song. (And the video. It's just so freaking bizarre. I think it gave me nightmares or something.) So off I went to download another one of their songs, just randomly to see if I liked the sound of it. (If I like two songs from the same band which I downloaded randomly, I'll usually buy the CD.) I ended up with a song called "Buried Myself Alive" (see subject line for my favorite lyric) and that melody completely hooked me, I liked it better than The Bird and the Worm, actually. So now I've bought "Lies For The Liars" (even though that song isn't on it) and so far I like about 70% of it, but honestly a lot of it is just screaming. I like the melodic ones best.

This is all going somewhere, I promise.

There are some songs that I love and obssess over immediately, like that one, like The Kill and like I'm Not Okay, ones where as soon as I hear the opening few notes, I'm in a totally different zone; music is really emotional for me in case you haven't noticed. So anyway, I also decided to finally buy Taking Back Sunday's CD "Louder Now" because I only really knew a bunch of their older songs (which I mostly liked) and ony two songs off that CD, both of which I liked. And I got the CD and I listened to it for like a day, and while I found it completely listenable from start to finish (sometimes as much as I love a band there are songs I always skip on the CD; see "The Story" and "Was It A Dream" from A Beautiful Lie,) nothing on the CD immediately grabbed me by the throat. I just enjoyed it and played it repeatedly, in the car and on my iPod at work.

The other thing that sometimes happens to me is that I'll listen to a song a bunch of times before I really hear it. It gets lost in the mix and even though I'm singing along or whatever, I'm not totally hearing it, and then one day, for some random reason, I'll finally hear the song and go, "OH! There you are." And that's how it happened with "My Blue Heaven." Which is funny, because if I had to pick one song on the CD that I would have skipped after the first listen, or after hearing the first few notes, it might have been that one, because it's the second half of the song that knocks me out the most. Funny thing with that song, I think it's obviously supposed to knock you out in the second half, that's what they meant for it to do. It wasn't until Wednesday when I was cleaning the pigeons at SITF and this song came on my iPod (I was halfway through the top cages, holding that one white pigeon that insists on being held when I clean his cage,) when the second half of the song kicked in and I went, "Oh, wait. I think I just fell in love."

I love it so much that I'm giving it to those of you who want it on yousendit until the link runs out. Because now I love the entire song and not just the second half. I think the melody is beautiful and the lyrics are incredibly special. I fully own up to the fact that I sometimes bust out crying between 2:50 and 3:00 when he sings "you're safe, child, you are safe" and even at 3:20 with "Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time?" and 3:27-3:38 with "I'm just asking you to hear me, Could you please, just once, just hear me? More then anything you wanted to be right..."

Do you see how I obssess with music? It's insane. Listen to the song and then fall in love with Adam Lazzara because he is funny and crazy and adorable and I want one just like this. (LOL at him not even singing, when he's the singer. "'Geese a-laying, were they laying down, or like..... laying?" and "Like, THE DARK LOOOOORDS!!") Can I have one, pls? I promise to be nice to him!

Welp, this post has already gone on way too long and I have to get all my costumes and music and maps (jeez, this place is on the other frigging end of the Island) everything together, so I'm gonna STFU right now and get going.

And I still think something good is going to happen to me tomorrow. So there.

la_belle_laide: (mantis)
Well, here's a blast from the past. Just a few minutes ago, out of nowhere, I got an email from the director of a little street theater group I used to work with, the Maritime Pirates. I always had so much fun working with them, before lots of splits and rifts started to happen. It was all cheesy street theater, but I got to dress up and sing and run around stealing treasure. Bear in mind, I wasn't a kid doing this and neither were most of the actors: the main crew and actors were all well into our 30's and some into their 40's, and a few up to 50 and 60. Anyway, back then I was a pretty dedicated serial dater, and it looked like I might start to date my way through the Pirates, then it got awkward and I decided to quit. I see that at least one of the guys I dates is still with them. I kinda almost felt like joining back up, but I still think it would be weird. Besides, where would I find the time? With three jobs etc. and Kung Fu, it would be a tight squeeze.

Still. Weird, huh?

ETA! For my 30STM loving friends: NEW 30STM SONG. *serious Jared voice* I'M NOT JOKING. He babbles a little bit before it and then sings this gorgeous new song. This was last night in Tokyo. ANARCHY THERE.
la_belle_laide: (mantis)
Well, here's a blast from the past. Just a few minutes ago, out of nowhere, I got an email from the director of a little street theater group I used to work with, the Maritime Pirates. I always had so much fun working with them, before lots of splits and rifts started to happen. It was all cheesy street theater, but I got to dress up and sing and run around stealing treasure. Bear in mind, I wasn't a kid doing this and neither were most of the actors: the main crew and actors were all well into our 30's and some into their 40's, and a few up to 50 and 60. Anyway, back then I was a pretty dedicated serial dater, and it looked like I might start to date my way through the Pirates, then it got awkward and I decided to quit. I see that at least one of the guys I dates is still with them. I kinda almost felt like joining back up, but I still think it would be weird. Besides, where would I find the time? With three jobs etc. and Kung Fu, it would be a tight squeeze.

Still. Weird, huh?

ETA! For my 30STM loving friends: NEW 30STM SONG. *serious Jared voice* I'M NOT JOKING. He babbles a little bit before it and then sings this gorgeous new song. This was last night in Tokyo. ANARCHY THERE.
la_belle_laide: (Default)
I had a doozy of a dream this morning that I have to document. [livejournal.com profile] soozechelon and her husband Lynn made star appearances in it. I was sort of watching most of it like a movie, but as often happens in dreams, as an observer I still feel everything that happens, if you can imagine that.

It took place in some Anglo-European place, kind of medieval. I wanna say Ireland or Wales or something like that. Sooz and Lynn are living in this huge stone manor, almost a castle but not quite there. (This must be leftover from reading your LJ, Sooz, about the ancestral home.) There's a dark, circular flight of stairs that leads to the basement and I'm thinking that there's a sense of overall impending doom, like, "Something bad is going to happen, it's just a matter of time." Yet as I'm thinking it, I realize in the back of my mind that I'm just being very dark and pessimistic; nihilistic, even. Sooz is sweeping the steps and I'm watching all of this thinking, When does it happen?

In the dream, it seems that years go by and nothing terrible happens, which confuses me. When it picks up again, Sooz is standing on a stone porch watching a very young, lost troubador play guitar and sing a song. It's Jared Leto, only he's around 16 years old. Lynn comes out to listen and they both decide that they're going to take him into their family, at least until he finds a place of his own. Still I'm thinking, "Too many years have gone by without tragedy; when is it coming?" Then I think, "Maybe it's not."

Just as soon as I think it, three female figures come out of a black whirlwind cloud, riding on horses. They are Fear, Regret and War, or something like that, I can't remember exactly. They come charging towards the manor and completely ride down the singer. Suddenly I make a cameo in the dream, riding on a horse towards Sooz and Lynn who are obviously pretty shocked and upset by this turn of events. I promise them that I'll go search for the three women and the singer and return him to them.

Again, years go by, and I have no idea what I was supposedly doing during this time, although we never do see the singer again. When I return to Sooz and Lynn, they're surrounded by kids and, like, elves or something crazy like that. Lynn has got designs and blueprints for something all over the castle-type-thing, Sooz says she's working at an orphanage and has brought home a bunch of kids. She leads me to the basement (down the winding stone staircase,) where Lynn is building a red sleigh. He says that he's decided to invent Santa Claus. All of a sudden I have this feeling of total revelation, like it all made sense all of a sudden. It doesn't, I know. But in the dream it did. And that was it, I woke up.

That was that. At work today we got on the subject of hair, when I commented that my friend Kelly, who has the thickest, waviest hair I've ever seen (seriously, she has to get it thinned or she gets headaches,) that she has Harlequin Romance Novel hair. It really does look like the ridiculously thick, wavy hair you see on the covers of those books. Jenn J. asked what sort of hair I thought she had and I said, "Porn Star hair." She does; it's thick and very blonde. Jennel asked about her hair and I told her she had pixie hair (it's ginger-colored and curly.) THen Jennel told me I had (wait for it!) "Welcome to my Lair" hair. This just about killed me. There's more to this story though, check it out. It ties in weirdly.

So I had to draw a map for Jennel today, and just out of silliness I drew dead bodies (stick figures) in pools of blood on the road. There was a client up there and I didn't realize he was watching me draw until he said, "Uhh, you're really going into detail there." (I also had trees, sharks, mermaids, landmarks, my house, etc.) He said, "Did you just put a dead body on the road?" I couldn't lie at that point, I had to admit that, yes, I had drawn a random dead body, with someone standing next to it saying "GOD HELP US." The guy said, "That's really funny. I'm a funeral director." Laughing, I told him, "How weird! I'm a really macabre person!" And then he offered me a part time job as his assisstant. How hilarious is that? He said that more and more women were getting involved in the mortuary business, and it was awesome because grieving families responded better to women than to men. Here and I'm thinking, Wow, I am so the wrong person to be comforting grieving families, and I've just gleefully drawn dead and bloody stick figures; what could possibly make this guy think I am any sort of cut out for a job like that? But he was serious. The only problem, he said, would be my hair. It was too punk, with the streaks and all. O_o

I was flattered by both the offer and his reason for rescinding it, actually. ^_^

Oh! I think my car is fixed. Gotta run!


la_belle_laide: (EEK)
I had a doozy of a dream this morning that I have to document. [livejournal.com profile] soozechelon and her husband Lynn made star appearances in it. I was sort of watching most of it like a movie, but as often happens in dreams, as an observer I still feel everything that happens, if you can imagine that.

It took place in some Anglo-European place, kind of medieval. I wanna say Ireland or Wales or something like that. Sooz and Lynn are living in this huge stone manor, almost a castle but not quite there. (This must be leftover from reading your LJ, Sooz, about the ancestral home.) There's a dark, circular flight of stairs that leads to the basement and I'm thinking that there's a sense of overall impending doom, like, "Something bad is going to happen, it's just a matter of time." Yet as I'm thinking it, I realize in the back of my mind that I'm just being very dark and pessimistic; nihilistic, even. Sooz is sweeping the steps and I'm watching all of this thinking, When does it happen?

In the dream, it seems that years go by and nothing terrible happens, which confuses me. When it picks up again, Sooz is standing on a stone porch watching a very young, lost troubador play guitar and sing a song. It's Jared Leto, only he's around 16 years old. Lynn comes out to listen and they both decide that they're going to take him into their family, at least until he finds a place of his own. Still I'm thinking, "Too many years have gone by without tragedy; when is it coming?" Then I think, "Maybe it's not."

Just as soon as I think it, three female figures come out of a black whirlwind cloud, riding on horses. They are Fear, Regret and War, or something like that, I can't remember exactly. (S'up, Black Parade characters?) They come charging towards the manor and completely ride down the singer. (This could be my own subconscious saying, Hey, you've listened to My Chemical Romance exclusively for three straight weeks. 30 Seconds to Mars, hello?) Suddenly I make a cameo in the dream, riding on a horse towards Sooz and Lynn who are obviously pretty shocked and upset by this turn of events. I promise them that I'll go search for the three women and the singer and return him to them.

Again, years go by, and I have no idea what I was supposedly doing during this time, although we never do see the singer again. When I return to Sooz and Lynn, they're surrounded by kids and, like, elves or something crazy like that. Lynn has got designs and blueprints for something all over the castle-type-thing, Sooz says she's working at an orphanage and has brought home a bunch of kids. She leads me to the basement (down the winding stone staircase,) where Lynn is building a red sleigh. He says that he's decided to invent Santa Claus. All of a sudden I have this feeling of total revelation, like it all made sense all of a sudden. It doesn't, I know. But in the dream it did. And that was it, I woke up.

That was that. At work today we got on the subject of hair, when I commented that my friend Kelly, who has the thickest, waviest hair I've ever seen (seriously, she has to get it thinned or she gets headaches,) that she has Harlequin Romance Novel hair. It really does look like the ridiculously thick, wavy hair you see on the covers of those books. Jenn J. asked what sort of hair I thought she had and I said, "Porn Star hair." She does; it's thick and very blonde. Jennel asked about her hair and I told her she had pixie hair (it's ginger-colored and curly.) THen Jennel told me I had (wait for it!) "Welcome to my Lair" hair. This just about killed me. There's more to this story though, check it out. It ties in weirdly.

So I had to draw a map for Jennel today, and just out of silliness I drew dead bodies (stick figures) in pools of blood on the road. There was a client up there and I didn't realize he was watching me draw until he said, "Uhh, you're really going into detail there." (I also had trees, sharks, mermaids, landmarks, my house, etc.) He said, "Did you just put a dead body on the road?" I couldn't lie at that point, I had to admit that, yes, I had drawn a random dead body, with someone standing next to it saying "GOD HELP US." The guy said, "That's really funny. I'm a funeral director." Laughing, I told him, "How weird! I'm a really macabre person!" And then he offered me a part time job as his assisstant. How hilarious is that? He said that more and more women were getting involved in the mortuary business, and it was awesome because grieving families responded better to women than to men. Here and I'm thinking, Wow, I am so the wrong person to be comforting grieving families, and I've just gleefully drawn dead and bloody stick figures; what could possibly make this guy think I am any sort of cut out for a job like that? But he was serious. The only problem, he said, would be my hair. It was too punk, with the streaks and all. O_o

I was flattered by both the offer and his reason for rescinding it, actually. ^_^

Oh! I think my car is fixed. Gotta run!


la_belle_laide: (D)
First though, getting back to SITF today was mostly pretty good. The only things that really sucked were finding one of the quails dead, and Frank smoking a cigar in the building. (Smoke in general bugs me out, but it's so bad since the surgery, my eyes dry right out.) I tried to hint it nicely to him but he didn't get it, and I don't have the heart to tattle. He's very rarely there, so maybe I won't have to deal with it too often. He's this typical, big older avuncular Italian guy, and even though he knows my name, to him I'm just "the Angel" who helps him move heavy objects around when they need to be moved. Seriously, how could I call trouble on a guy like that? Yeah, and one of the quails died, I felt so badly when I found him in his cage. Hilda told me he hadn't been eating in the last three days. It was fantastic to be back among the birds that I love. Tucker was all about me today, he jumped onto my arm and ate food out of my hand, played with my bracelet and made funny "coo" noises when I went by. Pam the peahen, on the other hand, attacked my ass. For real, I turned around and bent down to remove the sheet on th ebottom of her cage and she jumped up and pecked my butt really hard. Better my butt than my eyes, though, which is what she usually goes for. The only other thing that happened was, I think some bird parasite or other bit me, or maybe a lot of them did (one of the roosters has mites really badly--mites don't usually get to me, but SOMEthing did today,) and by the time I got to Kung Fu, I was red and itchy all over, huge pink welts all over my neck and shoulders. It itched like mad and I wanted to throw myself into the duck pond.

Speaking of ducks. During the first class, we were all doing some drills (a really cool one that I liked a lot,) when two ducks crossed into the middle of the road below and started doing it. Two more ducks followed them, another male and another female. Meanwhile, traffic started to back up on both sides of the road, because the road is really narrow and none of the cars could get around. To make matters better worse, the second male duck gets on the back of the other male, who is already doign it with the first female duck, and starts doing it with him! It was a duck threesome, and the other female just stood there watching. Dude, you have never seen a group of adults turn into twelve year olds so quickly as did our class. Everybody Wasn't Kung Fu Fighting. We all just stood there pointing and laughing, especially when the drivers of the backed-up cars started blowing their horns to get the ducks to quit it and move out of the road. And then the class just disintegrated from there, I mean how can you go back to doing what you were doing after seeing a partly-homosexual duck threesome? THe jokes and puns just kept coming. Then in blackbelt club we did our hardcore warmup, and Sifu drove us into zen-oblivion with a really awesome drill that we repeated for about twenty minutes, this was seriously one of my favorite drills ever.

On the way home--and indeed on the way there--there was a power line down on the North Road so I had to detour. On the way back, my eyes were already going blurry (I'm sure the earlier smoke didn't help,) and though I could see (I always tell people who ask me how I can drive yet, "I like to think I can see headlights bearing down on me,") I couldn't read the road signs. Funny thing: when I went out with Chrissie before the operation, we got lost and ended up on thi sone road. Last week when Dad drove me to the library, he got lost (which is a rare thing so close to home, believe me,) and ended up on the exact same road. Don't you know that tonight, I got lost again on this detour, and ended up on the exact same befrigged road? But at least this time I knew where the beef I was!

It was around this time that I thought I blew my speakers. It was right in the middle of MCR's "THis Is How I Disappear", and I naturally had it cranked, but not so terribly cranked that my speakers should have been blowing out. And it was rhythmic, the way they would go on and off, almost like a bassline tha thad nothing to do with the music. So I turned the entire stereo off. That's when I heard my brakes squealing everytime I touched them. Dude, now I only just had my brakes done, my Da paid for it, because there was simply no way in hell, not with all the work I have missed recently. So I was all WTF, and started talking ot my car. For those of you who don't know me, I love my car unnaturally. My car's name is Shinigami, (go on, ask me what it means and what it's from if you don't know,) and I totally make out with it. I have actual feelings for my car. I think that when you name something and take care of it, you give it mana, chi if you want to get Chinese about it. Shinigami has its own mana, anyone who's been in the car can tell you. So I begin to worry about Shinigami, because he is an old car who has been with me for about seven and a half years now. Now I get nearly home, and all of a sudden the anti-lock brake light comes on. Another mile, and the "check engine" light comes on. The dash monitor starts telling me, "SERVICE CAR SOON" then in the next mile it starts telling me, "TRACTION INACTIVE". And I'm going, "Two more miles, Shinigami, two more miles." I get to the left turn before my avenue and all of a sudden, the dash goes completely dark. I try to make the left turn and Shinigami chugs, almost stalling. Halfway to my avenue, the headlights flicker off, on, off, on. I get to my block and make the right turn, and we chug to a halt to the house. Now I'm near tears, not (only) because I'm thinking what this is going to cost me, but because my faithful Shinigami actually got me home, waiting till the very last possible second to quit.

Please send good vibes to Shinigami. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Anyway, so tomorrow I do my split-shift, the hospital then the clinic, this is my suuuuperlong work day, when I have to eat on the fly. (Which always makes me picture me sitting on a giant fly while eating my lunch.) Afterwards though, Kelly and I are going to the spa. How fantastic is that? I've never been to a spa, but we decided that we were just going to up and go. I so totally cannot wait, you don't even realize. Friday is another long day, though shorter than tomorrow by an hour and I get an actual, sit-down, clocked out lunch Friday. Saturday is Tai Chi and then Hula (I think?) and then Sunday is Duck Pond Day. I had a fantastic time last year at Duck Pond Day with Tristan. He's going to be there again, but this time it's going to be a handful of us, not just the two of us. We might all get together and do a demo, maybe sword form. Which is really quite a shame, because I don't remember the blasted thing about the sword form. Oh well, we'll see. I wonder if there will be anymore duck orgies?

Oh, one last thing: Frank Iero is my new hero, he speaks out for vegetarianism and against animal testing. Hurray for bands I love supporting causes, 30STM with their EnvironmenTour, forward-thinking politics, vegetarianism and Earth Awareness, and now MCR with their anti-lookism, anti-homophobia and now animal rights. I hope there are bands like this still around when I have kids someday.



la_belle_laide: (D)
First though, getting back to SITF today was mostly pretty good. The only things that really sucked were finding one of the quails dead, and Frank smoking a cigar in the building. (Smoke in general bugs me out, but it's so bad since the surgery, my eyes dry right out.) I tried to hint it nicely to him but he didn't get it, and I don't have the heart to tattle. He's very rarely there, so maybe I won't have to deal with it too often. He's this typical, big older avuncular Italian guy, and even though he knows my name, to him I'm just "the Angel" who helps him move heavy objects around when they need to be moved. Seriously, how could I call trouble on a guy like that? Yeah, and one of the quails died, I felt so badly when I found him in his cage. Hilda told me he hadn't been eating in the last three days. It was fantastic to be back among the birds that I love. Tucker was all about me today, he jumped onto my arm and ate food out of my hand, played with my bracelet and made funny "coo" noises when I went by. Pam the peahen, on the other hand, attacked my ass. For real, I turned around and bent down to remove the sheet on th ebottom of her cage and she jumped up and pecked my butt really hard. Better my butt than my eyes, though, which is what she usually goes for. The only other thing that happened was, I think some bird parasite or other bit me, or maybe a lot of them did (one of the roosters has mites really badly--mites don't usually get to me, but SOMEthing did today,) and by the time I got to Kung Fu, I was red and itchy all over, huge pink welts all over my neck and shoulders. It itched like mad and I wanted to throw myself into the duck pond.

Speaking of ducks. During the first class, we were all doing some drills (a really cool one that I liked a lot,) when two ducks crossed into the middle of the road below and started doing it. Two more ducks followed them, another male and another female. Meanwhile, traffic started to back up on both sides of the road, because the road is really narrow and none of the cars could get around. To make matters better worse, the second male duck gets on the back of the other male, who is already doign it with the first female duck, and starts doing it with him! It was a duck threesome, and the other female just stood there watching. Dude, you have never seen a group of adults turn into twelve year olds so quickly as did our class. Everybody Wasn't Kung Fu Fighting. We all just stood there pointing and laughing, especially when the drivers of the backed-up cars started blowing their horns to get the ducks to quit it and move out of the road. And then the class just disintegrated from there, I mean how can you go back to doing what you were doing after seeing a partly-homosexual duck threesome? THe jokes and puns just kept coming. Then in blackbelt club we did our hardcore warmup, and Sifu drove us into zen-oblivion with a really awesome drill that we repeated for about twenty minutes, this was seriously one of my favorite drills ever.

On the way home--and indeed on the way there--there was a power line down on the North Road so I had to detour. On the way back, my eyes were already going blurry (I'm sure the earlier smoke didn't help,) and though I could see (I always tell people who ask me how I can drive yet, "I like to think I can see headlights bearing down on me,") I couldn't read the road signs. Funny thing: when I went out with Chrissie before the operation, we got lost and ended up on thi sone road. Last week when Dad drove me to the library, he got lost (which is a rare thing so close to home, believe me,) and ended up on the exact same road. Don't you know that tonight, I got lost again on this detour, and ended up on the exact same befrigged road? But at least this time I knew where the beef I was!

It was around this time that I thought I blew my speakers. It was right in the middle of MCR's "THis Is How I Disappear", and I naturally had it cranked, but not so terribly cranked that my speakers should have been blowing out. And it was rhythmic, the way they would go on and off, almost like a bassline tha thad nothing to do with the music. So I turned the entire stereo off. That's when I heard my brakes squealing everytime I touched them. Dude, now I only just had my brakes done, my Da paid for it, because there was simply no way in hell, not with all the work I have missed recently. So I was all WTF, and started talking ot my car. For those of you who don't know me, I love my car unnaturally. My car's name is Shinigami, (go on, ask me what it means and what it's from if you don't know,) and I totally make out with it. I have actual feelings for my car. I think that when you name something and take care of it, you give it mana, chi if you want to get Chinese about it. Shinigami has its own mana, anyone who's been in the car can tell you. So I begin to worry about Shinigami, because he is an old car who has been with me for about seven and a half years now. Now I get nearly home, and all of a sudden the anti-lock brake light comes on. Another mile, and the "check engine" light comes on. The dash monitor starts telling me, "SERVICE CAR SOON" then in the next mile it starts telling me, "TRACTION INACTIVE". And I'm going, "Two more miles, Shinigami, two more miles." I get to the left turn before my avenue and all of a sudden, the dash goes completely dark. I try to make the left turn and Shinigami chugs, almost stalling. Halfway to my avenue, the headlights flicker off, on, off, on. I get to my block and make the right turn, and we chug to a halt to the house. Now I'm near tears, not (only) because I'm thinking what this is going to cost me, but because my faithful Shinigami actually got me home, waiting till the very last possible second to quit.

Please send good vibes to Shinigami. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Anyway, so tomorrow I do my split-shift, the hospital then the clinic, this is my suuuuperlong work day, when I have to eat on the fly. (Which always makes me picture me sitting on a giant fly while eating my lunch.) Afterwards though, Kelly and I are going to the spa. How fantastic is that? I've never been to a spa, but we decided that we were just going to up and go. I so totally cannot wait, you don't even realize. Friday is another long day, though shorter than tomorrow by an hour and I get an actual, sit-down, clocked out lunch Friday. Saturday is Tai Chi and then Hula (I think?) and then Sunday is Duck Pond Day. I had a fantastic time last year at Duck Pond Day with Tristan. He's going to be there again, but this time it's going to be a handful of us, not just the two of us. We might all get together and do a demo, maybe sword form. Which is really quite a shame, because I don't remember the blasted thing about the sword form. Oh well, we'll see. I wonder if there will be anymore duck orgies?

Oh, one last thing: Frank Iero is my new hero, he speaks out for vegetarianism and against animal testing. Hurray for bands I love supporting causes, 30STM with their EnvironmenTour, forward-thinking politics, vegetarianism and Earth Awareness, and now MCR with their anti-lookism, anti-homophobia and now animal rights. I hope there are bands like this still around when I have kids someday.



la_belle_laide: (Ice ho)
I've been in hysteris for most of the day, the laughing kind. Well, MOST of the day, for some of it I was listening to anothe rbook. I still can't look at the computer screen for too long without going blurry and dry. This, oh my brothers and only friends, has got to stop.

What cracked me up, well, this one is a lognigsh story. Okay so a while back, you probably don't remember, I figured otu that Jared Leto is really Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. What you might not have guessed is that he is also Squall Leonhart from the original FFVIII. He's been transforming into him for a while, and last night when they won the Australian Video Award for Best Rock Video (yay, boys!) J.Le was going all military dress and I realized, the transformation is almost complete.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Just tell me you don't see it.

Anyway, so I was out trolling the internet for pics of Squall Leonhart like the 13 year old fangirl I have been known to be, when I finally came aross--quite by accident--the Uncyclopedia entry on Sephiroth. Which, in turn, led me to the article on CLoud Strife
Despite being a mentally confused, emotionally vulnerable cross dresser with funny hair, 90% of women, 50% of men, and 100% of people named Your Mom find him irresistibly sexy. The following is a list of characters that Cloud Strife has been romantically linked to in one way or another.

Aeris Gainsborough: Sweet and innocent flower girl from the slums

Aerith Gainsborough: Sweet and not-so-innocent entrepreneur from the slums. Aeris's twin sister, so far, Cloud doesn't know there are actually two of them.

Tifa Lockheart: Childhood friend, bar owner, and terrorist.

Yuffie Kissarawknee: Teenage ninja girl, thief. Was one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles but was thrown out for stealing their candy.

Barret, aka Mr T: They both deny it, but...


Etcetera. Which led me to Link.
Link has been known to utter screams and grunts for every bodily function he does. The reason for this is unclear, though it has been postulated that this is because Link is actually blind. The screaming is a form of echolocation to familiarize himself with his surroundings, when he doesn't have someone constantly telling him where to go - like a fairy, an owl, a boat, or a shadow demon or something. Then again though, how can he snipe people if he's blind?

And of course this led me to look up 30STM.
30 Seconds To Mars used to have a groupie named Bert McCracken, the well known hobosexual. They fell out when they realised he was infected with cat aids. They fired him and a confrontation came about on MTVs Total Request Live weeks later. And Bert was like "Jared I love you!" And Jared Lero was like "Get away from me!" And Bert was like "But the blowjobs! Think of the blowjobs!" Then Jared Leto goes "Get away from me, smelly little man!" and runs away. Bert then procceded to hump Gerard Ways' leg for the remaninder of the show. It was the highest rated show since Billie Joe Armstrong commited suicide live on air, after mistakenly hearing his own music. It was, according to a teenie bopper, "totally hoTLOL!!!!!!"11"

I am a bad fan. I found that really funny. There is also one about Stephen King that's funny, and, hell, probably most of them are pretty funny, I guess. ANyway, so that gave me a giggle today.

What doesn't give me a giggle is the fact that I really want to write some more and revise some crap I have written, and I can't, because I can't look at the screen for too long! Blogging does't take me very lon and I don't feel the need to correct too much lately (you guys all know that I type much better than I have been recently, I really haven't been looking at the screen too muh,) but it's different when I'm actually writing something. SO I'm pretty fristrated abotu that. I miss that stuff, you know? And I have some ideas I'd like to write, only I already outlined them and the actual writing of them would take really, you know, seeing what I'm writing. I never realized until now how much I rely on looking at the screen, words make much more sense when I'm reading them. Typing without looking, I'm only hearing my own voic ein my head, which is reandom and unpredictable, veyr stream of consciousness. That might be okay for LJ, but it's terrible for what I'm working on. So. yeah.

In the same vein, just before my surgery I went back to some computer painting which I hadnt' done in about a year. Actually I ahdnt'd drawn anyting in about a year until I made a fw new ones. Then I went back and revised some old ones. I figured that after my surgery I'd take a look at them with my nice, new eyes and see where I'd messed up, but I still can't actually see that well, so....

Anyway, so in the middle of writing this, I forgot I was writing it and started computer-painting, even though I can't really see. And then--duh!--in a comment to a previous post, a friend reminded me that I have my contrast and color turned way down. SO all the stuff I did tonight, I have no idea how it really looks, heee, because, NO CONTRAST! And very little color and very, very dark. But there are ones I did before the surgery, so there's no excuse for those.

Thing is, a few weeks ago I decided to update some drawings, and I also made a decision to drastically change the look of one of my main characters. Oh, big deal, who cares what the character looks like, I know, but it was a sort of ocnscious decision based on certain predjudices. It's not like I want to have an agenda, but I thought that it woul dbe interesting to represent him this way. THESE FILES ARE BIG! Click if you're high speed. So Kris, meet your new look: )

See, I wanted to define him by light and by lack of color. Which is very hard to do if you have absolutely minimal skills. And that one with LIllia is brand new. Guess what? I like it.

I updated a bunch more. YOu knew this was how Sahrek would end up, right? )
It was a natural progression, you know?

Jin's not too different, but I added a background. Lookit. )

Then I tried to redo Leander and I think I messed up. This is the one I tried to do tonight. Clickitywhee. )

I dunno, which is better? I'm not going to magically become a better visual artist or anything, but I kidna like the backgrounds I added, 'specially the one behind Sahrek.

Welp, now I've totally lost my train of thought. I hate that I'm posting these, I hate being oen of those unpublished hack writers who posts pics of characters that people ahve already forgotten. But don't fear, I did sen dout that query letter, so it's not like I'm sitting on these stories, right, amd just doing gratuitous doodles? YES.
la_belle_laide: (Ice ho)
I've been in hysteris for most of the day, the laughing kind. Well, MOST of the day, for some of it I was listening to anothe rbook. I still can't look at the computer screen for too long without going blurry and dry. This, oh my brothers and only friends, has got to stop.

Hhhhhhaaaanyway, yesterday I downloaded some MCR animated .gifs, I mean the real kind, like this:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

which I sent to my Mom who replied that it didn't shok her, since she had watched so much baseball. Upping the ante, I sent her these:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

She said she'd seen the last one on Cops, so was not shocked. However this one:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
cracks everyone up.

G-WAY!

What else cracked me up, well, this one is a lognigsh story. Okay so a while back, you probably don't remember, I figured otu that Jared Leto is really Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. What you might not have guessed is that he is also Squall Leonhart from the original FFVIII. He's been transforming into him for a while, and last night when they won the Australian Video Award for Best Rock Video (yay, boys!) J.Le was going all military dress and I realized, the transformation is almost complete.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Just tell me you don't see it.

Anyway, so I was out trolling the internet for pics of Squall Leonhart like the 13 year old fangirl I have been known to be, when I finally came aross--quite by accident--the Uncyclopedia entry on Sephiroth. Which, in turn, led me to the article on CLoud Strife
Despite being a mentally confused, emotionally vulnerable cross dresser with funny hair, 90% of women, 50% of men, and 100% of people named Your Mom find him irresistibly sexy. The following is a list of characters that Cloud Strife has been romantically linked to in one way or another.

Aeris Gainsborough: Sweet and innocent flower girl from the slums

Aerith Gainsborough: Sweet and not-so-innocent entrepreneur from the slums. Aeris's twin sister, so far, Cloud doesn't know there are actually two of them.

Tifa Lockheart: Childhood friend, bar owner, and terrorist.

Yuffie Kissarawknee: Teenage ninja girl, thief. Was one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles but was thrown out for stealing their candy.

Barret, aka Mr T: They both deny it, but...


Etcetera. Which led me to Link.
Link has been known to utter screams and grunts for every bodily function he does. The reason for this is unclear, though it has been postulated that this is because Link is actually blind. The screaming is a form of echolocation to familiarize himself with his surroundings, when he doesn't have someone constantly telling him where to go - like a fairy, an owl, a boat, or a shadow demon or something. Then again though, how can he snipe people if he's blind?

Then, out of curiosity and boredom, I looked up My Chemical Romance.
The pack of emos consists of:

* Gerard Way; Homersexual, estranged son of Billy Corgan and Michael Jackson
* Mikey Way; concert tambourine player, occasional Napoleon Dynamite impersonator
* Frank Iero; Gerard's bitch
* Ray Toro; CEO of lawn-mower company
* Bob Bryar; some dude who once held a respectable job
* Milky Way; male groupie
* Brock; joined group after having a failing career on Pokemon


I LOLed, the part about Frank Iero slayed me.

And of course this led me to look up 30STM.
30 Seconds To Mars used to have a groupie named Bert McCracken, the well known hobosexual. They fell out when they realised he was infected with cat aids. They fired him and a confrontation came about on MTVs Total Request Live weeks later. And Bert was like "Jared I love you!" And Jared Lero was like "Get away from me!" And Bert was like "But the blowjobs! Think of the blowjobs!" Then Jared Leto goes "Get away from me, smelly little man!" and runs away. Bert then procceded to hump Gerard Ways' leg for the remaninder of the show. It was the highest rated show since Billie Joe Armstrong commited suicide live on air, after mistakenly hearing his own music. It was, according to a teenie bopper, "totally hoTLOL!!!!!!"11"

I am a bad fan. I found that really funny. There is also one about Stephen King that's funny, and, hell, probably most of them are pretty funny, I guess. ANyway, so that gave me a giggle today.

RANDOM: I love when singers shout the eff word. I don't know why, I hear it at work everyday. Context, maybe.

What doesn't give me a giggle is the fact that I really want to write some more and revise some crap I have written, and I can't, because I can't look at the screen for too long! Blogging does't take me very lon and I don't feel the need to correct too much lately (you guys all know that I type much better than I have been recently, I really haven't been looking at the screen too muh,) but it's different when I'm actually writing something. SO I'm pretty fristrated abotu that. I miss that stuff, you know? And I have some ideas I'd like to write, only I already outlined them and the actual writing of them would take really, you know, seeing what I'm writing. I never realized until now how much I rely on looking at the screen, words make much more sense when I'm reading them. Typing without looking, I'm only hearing my own voic ein my head, which is reandom and unpredictable, veyr stream of consciousness. That might be okay for LJ, but it's terrible for what I'm working on. So. yeah.

In the same vein, just before my surgery I went back to some computer painting which I hadnt' done in about a year. Actually I ahdnt'd drawn anyting in about a year until I made a fw new ones. Then I went back and revised some old ones. I figured that after my surgery I'd take a look at them with my nice, new eyes and see where I'd messed up, but I still can't actually see that well, so....

Anyway, so in the middle of writing this, I forgot I was writing it and started computer-painting, even though I can't really see. And then--duh!--in a comment to a previous post, a friend reminded me that I have my contrast and color turned way down. SO all the stuff I did tonight, I have no idea how it really looks, heee, because, NO CONTRAST! And very little color and very, very dark. But there are ones I did before the surgery, so there's no excuse for those.

Thing is, a few weeks ago I decided to update some drawings, and I also made a decision to drastically change the look of one of my main characters. Oh, big deal, who cares what the character looks like, I know, but it was a sort of ocnscious decision based on certain predjudices. It's not like I want to have an agenda, but I thought that it woul dbe interesting to represent him this way. THESE FILES ARE BIG! Click if you're high speed. So Kris, meet your new look: )

See, I wanted to define him by light and by lack of color. Which is very hard to do if you have absolutely minimal skills. And that one with LIllia is brand new. Guess what? I like it.

I updated a bunch more. YOu knew this was how Sahrek would end up, right? )
It was a natural progression, you know?

Jin's not too different, but I added a background. Lookit. )

Then I tried to redo Leander and I think I messed up. This is the one I tried to do tonight. Clickitywhee. )

I dunno, which is better? I'm not going to magically become a better visual artist or anything, but I kidna like the backgrounds I added, 'specially the one behind Sahrek.

Welp, now I've totally lost my train of thought. I hate that I'm posting these, I hate being oen of those unpublished hack writers who posts pics of characters that people ahve already forgotten. But don't fear, I did sen dout that query letter, so it's not like I'm sitting on these stories, right, amd just doing gratuitous doodles? YES.

EVERYBODY BURN THE HOUSE RIGHT DOWN!


la_belle_laide: (Default)
There's something very freeing about typing without looking at the screen, like I can make all the mistakes I want and not correct them, and I feel li,e, "SO THERE." In fact at this point i couldn't even see to correct them because I can barely see the computer screen. When I look at it I have to have the brightness turned down totally low bvecause of the light sensitivity, which got REALLY BAD this morning. Inf act it's not ht eonly thing that got really bad this morning. I woke up this morning wanting to claw the flaming orbs of death out of my head. I think it' sbecause the protective lens on the right keeps slipping around and it slips to the bak of my eye while I"m sleeping. (Remembr I have no corneas right now so this is pretty irritating!) I can't touch my eyes so the only way for me to retrieve it is to close my eyes, "look" all the way to the right, and "hook" the lens with my iris, which also stings.

This morning the stupid drops started to burn like the dickens.
This is what i looke ldike last night, fairly comfortable but tired:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This morning after I put the drops in my right eye was like this:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

So you can see it was really kind of burning! OTOH the doctor assured me that this was normal and that I was healing pretty well. It was funny, as I was in the waiting room two young men came in, one right after the other, bioth with the same wrap-around sunglasses that I was also wearing. We all looked each other over and started laughing. "PRK? Tuesday?" They both told the same story: Felt awesome and had great vision yesterday, and woke up this morning wanting to rip their eyes out, terrible taste frm the eye drops (I told them the ttrick the nurse told me about squeezing your eyes by the tear ducts to stop the drops from going down your throat.) So at least I knew then that it was all normal.

I told the Dr. about the slipping lens and he said that it was unusual and he wanted to change the lens. THen he put the numbing drops in my eye and grabbed the lens out with a tweezer. I didn't feel anythigh and ti wasn't so bad. The only thing I really, really hate is when he has to look in there with the light. It was so bright and my eyes are so light sensitive now that I wanted to break the stupid light machine into a million pathetic pieces. It's the only thing about this whole process that has been really painful (aside from the stinging this morning and afternoon, but evn that's not as bad as that light.) Anyway, the Dr. is leaing the country for the week so I will see someone else on Saturday. He said he might remove the protective lenses, and I hope so. It will still take a while for my cornea to grow back and I have to stay out of the light and out of dry places with forced air and dust, and especially smoke. This bums me out because I had wanted to try to go to Tai Chi Satureday (it's only an hour and Mom said she would drive me) but Sifu always burns incense, so there's no way I could do it. Even without the incense, I wonder if I could hold up, because my eyes will be fine and then all of a sudden I can't even keep them open. Yet closing them is worse because somehow my eyelids create pressure and that kind of stings, too.

I mean, it's not hideous, I'm not screaming and tearing my hair out, but it is annoying and inconvenient. Like this afternoon. I decided after the Dr. that I felt okay and I wanted to go to the library to get some books on tape, also to the store to get some potting soil. (Which, of course, I ended up with some flowers and another housepant, the star jasmine.) Well, halfway between the Dr. and the library (we stopped to pick Gran up,) I had two pairs of sunglasses on, I kid you not, and all of a sudden it felt like the sun was in my eyes. No, I don't mean "the sun was shinging in my eyes," I mean the actual sun--the star at the center of our solar system?--had taken up residence in my eyes. That only lasts a few minutes, but I never know when it's going to come on. It seems really random. I came home, put my drops in, expecting it to burn, but this time it didn't. (Dr.'s hint: put the refreshing drops in right before the FML, it hurts less. This really works.) Then I sat down for a while, and about a half an hour later the burning came back. (The nurse told me, "That's a good sign, it means your healing." Uhyhh, I guess so.)

I still got some stuff done today though, like repotting my aloe plant and a few others, and sweeping. Then I fed the dogs, sat down with my eyes closed until dinnertime, took a shower, and then after dinner I put on a book on tape (I picked Stephen King's Apt Pupil") and closed my eyes for about two hours. Took the dogs out, sat back down. At around 9:15 I started typing this with only cursory glances at the darkened screen. It's not so bad.

I'm upset because I may have to call Stars in the Forest and tell Bosslady that I can't do Wednesday, there is nothing but forced air there and it's really dusty. And I know the pigeon room will kill my eyes, nothing but featherquill dust everywhere. And a section of that building has bunnies which have alfalfa hay, and that'll knock my eyes out of their sockets.

But honestly if this means that I never have to wear contacts again, then it's more than worth it. It's like the frustration and irritation ofyears of contact lenses all in one or two weeks, and then never again. Totally worth it.

In other good news, it's supposed to be in the mid 70's this week! Which would be fantastic because this bullcrap cold weather has got to go. April's already almost over and it's been in the low thirties every frigging night, I'm sick of it, I want to punch winter in the vagina. (Hurray to my friend Kim for spreading that phrase to the animal hospital where she works. :D ) Speakin gof Kim, she was supposed to come over tonight, but when I realized that my eyes were doing that thing where they're fine for a few minutes and then there are flames shooting out of them, I aid, "Maybe not the best idea." I couldn't watch a movie anyway.

Well, I've been at this long enough, better get back to APt Pupil. ANd I apologize again for any typos, as I'm sure there are plenty. I never realized how much I rely on looking at the computer screen, and never look at the keyboard while I type. I'm looking at my figners now (a blur, and not just because of their speed,) but I can tell that I"m missing some letters and stuff. And I can't possibly read this whole thing back and correct it, so, well, there ya go!

Oh, a fw more thoughts after taking the dogs out: Hurray for Sanjaya finally being gone. Apt Pupil is a scary book. Vitamuffins are the perfect snack. HUmidifiers pwn. There is very little in the world more fascinating than Shannon Leto dancing at a club, wearing a parka. I miss my friends at work, and my training brothers and sisters like mad. I apologise for not answering email and the many comments I've gotten. I'm reading them quickly, it takes longer to reply. Star jasmine is not the tiare flower, it is star jasmine. My new icon is cute.

later taters.

la_belle_laide: (Default)
There's something very freeing about typing without looking at the screen, like I can make all the mistakes I want and not correct them, and I feel li,e, "SO THERE." In fact at this point i couldn't even see to correct them because I can barely see the computer screen. When I look at it I have to have the brightness turned down totally low bvecause of the light sensitivity, which got REALLY BAD this morning. Inf act it's not ht eonly thing that got really bad this morning. I woke up this morning wanting to claw the flaming orbs of death out of my head. I think it' sbecause the protective lens on the right keeps slipping around and it slips to the bak of my eye while I"m sleeping. (Remembr I have no corneas right now so this is pretty irritating!) I can't touch my eyes so the only way for me to retrieve it is to close my eyes, "look" all the way to the right, and "hook" the lens with my iris, which also stings.

This morning the stupid drops started to burn like the dickens.
This is what i looke ldike last night, fairly comfortable but tired:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This morning after I put the drops in my right eye was like this:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

So you can see it was really kind of burning! OTOH the doctor assured me that this was normal and that I was healing pretty well. It was funny, as I was in the waiting room two young men came in, one right after the other, bioth with the same wrap-around sunglasses that I was also wearing. We all looked each other over and started laughing. "PRK? Tuesday?" They both told the same story: Felt awesome and had great vision yesterday, and woke up this morning wanting to rip their eyes out, terrible taste frm the eye drops (I told them the ttrick the nurse told me about squeezing your eyes by the tear ducts to stop the drops from going down your throat.) So at least I knew then that it was all normal.

I told the Dr. about the slipping lens and he said that it was unusual and he wanted to change the lens. THen he put the numbing drops in my eye and grabbed the lens out with a tweezer. I didn't feel anythigh and ti wasn't so bad. The only thing I really, really hate is when he has to look in there with the light. It was so bright and my eyes are so light sensitive now that I wanted to break the stupid light machine into a million pathetic pieces. It's the only thing about this whole process that has been really painful (aside from the stinging this morning and afternoon, but evn that's not as bad as that light.) Anyway, the Dr. is leaing the country for the week so I will see someone else on Saturday. He said he might remove the protective lenses, and I hope so. It will still take a while for my cornea to grow back and I have to stay out of the light and out of dry places with forced air and dust, and especially smoke. This bums me out because I had wanted to try to go to Tai Chi Satureday (it's only an hour and Mom said she would drive me) but Sifu always burns incense, so there's no way I could do it. Even without the incense, I wonder if I could hold up, because my eyes will be fine and then all of a sudden I can't even keep them open. Yet closing them is worse because somehow my eyelids create pressure and that kind of stings, too.

I mean, it's not hideous, I'm not screaming and tearing my hair out, but it is annoying and inconvenient. Like this afternoon. I decided after the Dr. that I felt okay and I wanted to go to the library to get some books on tape, also to the store to get some potting soil. (Which, of course, I ended up with some flowers and another housepant, the star jasmine.) Well, halfway between the Dr. and the library (we stopped to pick Gran up,) I had two pairs of sunglasses on, I kid you not, and all of a sudden it felt like the sun was in my eyes. No, I don't mean "the sun was shinging in my eyes," I mean the actual sun--the star at the center of our solar system?--had taken up residence in my eyes. That only lasts a few minutes, but I never know when it's going to come on. It seems really random. I came home, put my drops in, expecting it to burn, but this time it didn't. (Dr.'s hint: put the refreshing drops in right before the FML, it hurts less. This really works.) Then I sat down for a while, and about a half an hour later the burning came back. (The nurse told me, "That's a good sign, it means your healing." Uhyhh, I guess so.)

I still got some stuff done today though, like repotting my aloe plant and a few others, and sweeping. Then I fed the dogs, sat down with my eyes closed until dinnertime, took a shower, and then after dinner I put on a book on tape (I picked Stephen King's Apt Pupil") and closed my eyes for about two hours. Took the dogs out, sat back down. At around 9:15 I started typing this with only cursory glances at the darkened screen. It's not so bad.

I'm upset because I may have to call Stars in the Forest and tell Bosslady that I can't do Wednesday, there is nothing but forced air there and it's really dusty. And I know the pigeon room will kill my eyes, nothing but featherquill dust everywhere. And a section of that building has bunnies which have alfalfa hay, and that'll knock my eyes out of their sockets.

But honestly if this means that I never have to wear contacts again, then it's more than worth it. It's like the frustration and irritation ofyears of contact lenses all in one or two weeks, and then never again. Totally worth it.

In other good news, it's supposed to be in the mid 70's this week! Which would be fantastic because this bullcrap cold weather has got to go. April's already almost over and it's been in the low thirties every frigging night, I'm sick of it, I want to punch winter in the vagina. (Hurray to my friend Kim for spreading that phrase to the animal hospital where she works. :D ) Speakin gof Kim, she was supposed to come over tonight, but when I realized that my eyes were doing that thing where they're fine for a few minutes and then there are flames shooting out of them, I aid, "Maybe not the best idea." I couldn't watch a movie anyway.

Well, I've been at this long enough, better get back to APt Pupil. ANd I apologize again for any typos, as I'm sure there are plenty. I never realized how much I rely on looking at the computer screen, and never look at the keyboard while I type. I'm looking at my figners now (a blur, and not just because of their speed,) but I can tell that I"m missing some letters and stuff. And I can't possibly read this whole thing back and correct it, so, well, there ya go!

Oh, a fw more thoughts after taking the dogs out: Hurray for Sanjaya finally being gone. Apt Pupil is a scary book. Vitamuffins are the perfect snack. HUmidifiers pwn. There is very little in the world more fascinating than Shannon Leto dancing at a club, wearing a parka. I miss my friends at work, and my training brothers and sisters like mad. I apologise for not answering email and the many comments I've gotten. I'm reading them quickly, it takes longer to reply. Star jasmine is not the tiare flower, it is star jasmine. My new icon is cute.

later taters.

la_belle_laide: (Default)
I showed up at Kung Fu tonight only to find it closed, DUH! I called Sifu to ask him WTF? and he said that he'd come by, too, and no one was there, so pretty much we were closed. I guess "Monday to Monday" means we are opening on Wednesday. HAHA! Oh well. And I really wanted to train tonight, too. A training brother was there, a new guy, I barely know his name, and he asked me to go out with him. I politely told him no, and then he kept on asking. I kept politely telling him no. Dude really, it's not a hint. Don't make it awkward.

I came home and updated my iPod with songs that I want to do on Friday. Friday, which is going to be MAD hectic. I also decided to bust out my naughtiest Hulas since there aren't going to be any keikis around. So I picked Ipo Lei Momi (naughty) and O Pao'o (DIRTY.) Now I have to practice O Pao'o like mad cause guess what? I really don't know it. And I've got Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to learn it. (I went over it a bit tonight, too.)

Madly, I looked into tickets to Hawai'i for mid-May. 30STM is playing there and I thought, holy crap, that's got to be mad cool. I thought I'd go to Hilo for a few days, give props to Pele, then to Honolulu which I adored while I was there, see the concert, some surfing, and then home. The whole thing was going to be about ten days. The air fares were good. Then I said, "WTF ARE YOU THINKING?!! You'll have to pay more than just air fare, idiot!" But I haven't entirely talked myself out of it yet, and that's making me batty. I don't know. Talk me out of it. It's madness.

I wrote a lot again today, too. Again, I'm not leaping around in joy over the scene, but it's done and I can clean it up later, I guess. I wrote it to get me to the part I really am dying to write, and now that I'm close to writing it, I'm choking like I always do. I hate when I plan to write things for days, sometimes weeks and sometimes months (and in the case of one as-yet unwritten scene, years,) and I build it up so much in my mind that by the time I get around to writing it, I'm already bored.

Oh, then there's this concert coming up in Florida in July, a Makaha Sons concert. Well, I'm going to see that, actually. I got Laura to take on whatever wildlife I will have in the middle of July, in exchange for me taking hers at the beginning of August. It's not only a concert by my favorite band, but a huge ho'ike and Hula contest which I will not be entering. I love performing, but I hate competing. Also you have to pay to enter, and all of your leis and other adornments have to be real. That kind of thing costs more than the entry fee. Auntie Kau'i is on the committee and there will be a whole row of Kumu Hula in the front. Too much pressure. So I think I'll just go and see the show and concert. Actually Mom, Dad, Gran and Meghan are going, too.

Why does it seem so reasonable to run off to Florida in the middle of July (my busiest season) to see one favorite band, but seems so outrageous to run off to HI for about the same price in May (right before my busiest season) to see my other favorite band? I don't know! It just does.

Pre-op tomorrow, wish me luck! And tell me not to madly run to Hawai'i!

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