la_belle_laide (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
la_belle_laide) wrote2003-10-15 05:32 am
la_belle_laide) wrote2003-10-15 05:32 am
FFVII is eating my blog!
Sorry for yet another FFVII fun-filled post. Working on the fic is bringing the obsession back.
Anyway, if there's one thing I love, it's those jokey abridged scripts. The Final Fantasy VIII one cracked me up.
EXT. HUGE-ASS WORLD
SEIFER ALMASY and SQUALL LEONHART meet in a field for some MALE BONDING.
SEIFER ALMASY
Let's duel, you emotionally bankrupt
bitch, because I am this one-
dimensional asshole.
SQUALL LEONHART
(emotionless and melodramatic)
You have no hope against my superior
Shinra Soldier training. I defeated
Sephiroth."
and:
RINOA HEARTILLY
(looks at her limit breaks)
I shoot my pet, this big-ass mutt,
off my wrist. What the hell?
Hee!
The FFVII ones I found are even more hilarious. This one I didn't find till the other day, and some of it is pretty funny, especially the parts about Barrett's and Tseng's dialogue:
(TSENG
(Voice not in sync with mouth)
If you no let me blow up building, bitch gonna die!
BARRET
Whachu say about mah momma?
BWAH!
(Additionally, this abridged script has Sephiroth asking Aeris, "who's your daddy?"
You may well laugh. Just so happens that I have an unfinished MST of a story called "Heaven In My Hands" wherein Sephiroth, in the middle of the most ridiculous pr0n/spanking scene, asks Aeris the very same question. No, seriously.)
But some of it seemed silly and didn't tickle me.
This one is better, I think.
But, in true fangirl form, I have to take something that is clearly humorous and turn it into a Serious Question about the plot.
It's a question to anyone who's obsessively played the game, read the script, written a fanfiction, or really anything fannish. This is pointless. Bear with me.
This abridged script has these lines:
EVERYBODY EVIL
We need to do everything that is possibly
evil to make more money regardless of how
it affects our planet. Let us steal
candy from babies and whip donuts at old
people.
SEPHIROTH
Doing so will cause dire consequences.
Change your ways.
Kay, cool. Funny, and it's a joke and blah blah. But it made me wonder what it was in the game that made this script writer have Sephiroth tell ShinRa to change their ways. IIRC, Sephiroth never said anything like that. The closest thing I can think of is when he was telling Cloud (Zack, really, along with Cloud and Tifa) about Materia and Mako on the mountain before they got to the reactor. He did remark on the "miracle of nature" and he did talk smack about Hojo ("Hojo of Shinra, Inc. ... An inexperienced man assigned to take over
the work of a great scientist...") but in canon he never did tell anyone in ShinRa that what they were doing was wrong.
(FTR, the only person in ShinRa that did to that was Reeve. ^_^ He was the only one inside of ShinRa who tried to stop the destruction of Sector Seven. Additionally, he (as Cait Sith) confronts Barret about Avalanche's hypocrisy: "As long as Marlene is safe, who cares what else happens, right? I been itchin' to say this to ya fer a while now! When ya blew the Midgar No. 1 up, how many folks d'ya think died?" He is the one who confronts Hojo and tells him to stop. Reeve! Go ON, ya! ^_^)
But I don't remember Sephiroth every saying outright that ShinRa was wrong. You know, it's funny how much the lack of time to round out the plot/characters of a video game adds to the fanfic possibilities. :)
Gotta say, I would love to A) play the entire game with the Japanese script and B) have a good understanding of Japanese. The dialogue in this game sucked the huge one, and a lot of it had to do with lazy translations. Sephiroth (to the Shinra soldier as he leaves Tifa outside of the reactor:) "Take care of the lady." What did he really say? Jou-chan? Tifa-dono? I need honorifics, dude. It'd so help me understand the characters better. ;)
/geekdom (Although one could argue that ending your mood with an "end command" slash is the height of geekdom, but whatever.)
Well, back to ripping the crap out of someone else's work...err, I mean MSTing. ;)
Anyway, if there's one thing I love, it's those jokey abridged scripts. The Final Fantasy VIII one cracked me up.
EXT. HUGE-ASS WORLD
SEIFER ALMASY and SQUALL LEONHART meet in a field for some MALE BONDING.
SEIFER ALMASY
Let's duel, you emotionally bankrupt
bitch, because I am this one-
dimensional asshole.
SQUALL LEONHART
(emotionless and melodramatic)
You have no hope against my superior
Shinra Soldier training. I defeated
Sephiroth."
and:
RINOA HEARTILLY
(looks at her limit breaks)
I shoot my pet, this big-ass mutt,
off my wrist. What the hell?
Hee!
The FFVII ones I found are even more hilarious. This one I didn't find till the other day, and some of it is pretty funny, especially the parts about Barrett's and Tseng's dialogue:
(TSENG
(Voice not in sync with mouth)
If you no let me blow up building, bitch gonna die!
BARRET
Whachu say about mah momma?
BWAH!
(Additionally, this abridged script has Sephiroth asking Aeris, "who's your daddy?"
You may well laugh. Just so happens that I have an unfinished MST of a story called "Heaven In My Hands" wherein Sephiroth, in the middle of the most ridiculous pr0n/spanking scene, asks Aeris the very same question. No, seriously.)
But some of it seemed silly and didn't tickle me.
This one is better, I think.
But, in true fangirl form, I have to take something that is clearly humorous and turn it into a Serious Question about the plot.
It's a question to anyone who's obsessively played the game, read the script, written a fanfiction, or really anything fannish. This is pointless. Bear with me.
This abridged script has these lines:
EVERYBODY EVIL
We need to do everything that is possibly
evil to make more money regardless of how
it affects our planet. Let us steal
candy from babies and whip donuts at old
people.
SEPHIROTH
Doing so will cause dire consequences.
Change your ways.
Kay, cool. Funny, and it's a joke and blah blah. But it made me wonder what it was in the game that made this script writer have Sephiroth tell ShinRa to change their ways. IIRC, Sephiroth never said anything like that. The closest thing I can think of is when he was telling Cloud (Zack, really, along with Cloud and Tifa) about Materia and Mako on the mountain before they got to the reactor. He did remark on the "miracle of nature" and he did talk smack about Hojo ("Hojo of Shinra, Inc. ... An inexperienced man assigned to take over
the work of a great scientist...") but in canon he never did tell anyone in ShinRa that what they were doing was wrong.
(FTR, the only person in ShinRa that did to that was Reeve. ^_^ He was the only one inside of ShinRa who tried to stop the destruction of Sector Seven. Additionally, he (as Cait Sith) confronts Barret about Avalanche's hypocrisy: "As long as Marlene is safe, who cares what else happens, right? I been itchin' to say this to ya fer a while now! When ya blew the Midgar No. 1 up, how many folks d'ya think died?" He is the one who confronts Hojo and tells him to stop. Reeve! Go ON, ya! ^_^)
But I don't remember Sephiroth every saying outright that ShinRa was wrong. You know, it's funny how much the lack of time to round out the plot/characters of a video game adds to the fanfic possibilities. :)
Gotta say, I would love to A) play the entire game with the Japanese script and B) have a good understanding of Japanese. The dialogue in this game sucked the huge one, and a lot of it had to do with lazy translations. Sephiroth (to the Shinra soldier as he leaves Tifa outside of the reactor:) "Take care of the lady." What did he really say? Jou-chan? Tifa-dono? I need honorifics, dude. It'd so help me understand the characters better. ;)
/geekdom (Although one could argue that ending your mood with an "end command" slash is the height of geekdom, but whatever.)
Well, back to ripping the crap out of someone else's work...err, I mean MSTing. ;)