My favorite one, my dad likes to tell about his friend Bill who passed away a few years ago from cancer. I guess you have to understand my dad's morbid sense of humor (which Bill had, too), but he always tells it in this really exaggerated hillbilly accent, and it goes like this:

"Take Bill f'rinstance, professor at the you-nee-versity, wife and kids, drank-eem some Drambuie, caught the brain tumors an' DIED. YOU NEVER EVER KNOW."

I think it's the utter randomness of inserting the fact that Bill liked Drambuie that kills me every time, as if that somehow led to brain tumors.