Sep. 12th, 2005

issues

Sep. 12th, 2005 11:30 pm
la_belle_laide: (issues)
It was 93 degrees here today, wtf. Mom, Gran and I went out galavanting. I got new sneakers and some really cool new blue slip ons, also my Gran bought me these very awesome platforms that I will not have occasion to wear until March or something. Then we went to Bath and Body Works where my Gran spent way too much money, and bought Mom and I some things, too, but she had a great time doing it and bought lots of nice lotion stuff for herself. Over at Micheals they had all the Halloween stuff out, and I tried to get into it, but with the heat, it was difficult. The slant of the sun says autumn, but it felt like I should be swimming, even though the pool water is back down to the 60s and the pool is about to be closed. It's hard for me to let go of summer. My Gran bought me a pumpkin scented candle and lotion. My season-sensor is all confused.

Kung Fu tonight was pretty cool. I love it when Sifu teaches. But I love it when Tristan teaches, too. More than anything, I miss Lao Shir. Anyway, we did loads of drills, including one called "ripping the bark off the tree," which is basically the "reach behind you and rip nuts off" move, which is exactly what it's for. Then lots of kicks, forearm strikes, and elbow strikes. Then we applied them all to--you guessed it--a choking situation. Sifu seems a bit hung up on women being strangled. At this point, I think it might be safe to say that no one will ever strangle me. We've been drilling anti-choking moves for like a month now.

Halfway through the warmup I found that I was staring at every adult male in the room like a predator and I couldn't stop. The idea of it gave me the giggles, because everyone else was so focussed on what we were all doing, and not one of them knew that my mind was all over the place for a moment there in ways it shoudn't have been. Hormones are bothersome things, but it struck me as hysterically funny, no pun intended.

I feel only slightly less angsty and angry than I did last night. Kung Fu cleared my head a bit and I felt better after I came out of class. I need to stop dwelling on things that are in the past, that don't matter. Which isn't to say that things that are going on now aren't bugging me, though. But I don't want lj drama, so what's the point?

Last night as I was getting into bed, I tried to think of something to worry over. I went down my list of usual worries, and couldn't come up with one. You know how sometimes there's something on your mind, and even if you're not giving it conscious thought, it's still there? For a while (most of the summer, really,) I had jury duty hanging over me, and that was one thing I kept going back to. When I realized that it was over, it felt very freeing. I think I was so used to being worried over it that I forgot to stop. The dogs both had their blood tests. Casse will house-sit Pendragon next year and I don't need to bring him back to a place where no one likes him and leave him there.

There are still a few things in my mind, though. Like for instance, I can't shake the feeling that something's up with Jeremy. I haven't heard from him since 2002, but lately I keep getting a weird vibe about him. I keep trying to contact his brother or find his mother, but so far, no luck. It seems that all I can do is send out a "Jeremy, call me!" vibe and see if he answers. If he can still hear me. Probably not, though.

Oh, I know one other thing. My best friend told me something the other night that has me worried. Not as worried as she is, but it still affects me and would effect both of our lives. This thing she told me, I really don't want it to happen. Neither does she, but we both know it could, and soon.

My brother and his wife are coming out for their annual visit next Saturday, on their way to Montauk. Maybe my aunt and uncle will come out, too. That should be fun. Then the weekend after that, my new puppy joins the pack. Ahhh, now there's somethign to worry over, a big adjustment!

Well, I should go to bed; I have work tomorrow. But then, tomorrow night, the season premiere of House! Which merits a hig old, huge HOOTAH! from me. But then on the other hand, it does seem like just about four weeks ago that I was watching the season finale, rather than four months.

This summer flew. I hate to let go of it, but I prefer a clean break. Don't be hanging around teasing me with 93 degree weather as if I can come home and go swimming and then have ice cream later with my goddaughter.

I get so weird at the change of the seasons.

issues

Sep. 12th, 2005 11:30 pm
la_belle_laide: (issues)
It was 93 degrees here today, wtf. Mom, Gran and I went out galavanting. I got new sneakers and some really cool new blue slip ons, also my Gran bought me these very awesome platforms that I will not have occasion to wear until March or something. Then we went to Bath and Body Works where my Gran spent way too much money, and bought Mom and I some things, too, but she had a great time doing it and bought lots of nice lotion stuff for herself. Over at Micheals they had all the Halloween stuff out, and I tried to get into it, but with the heat, it was difficult. The slant of the sun says autumn, but it felt like I should be swimming, even though the pool water is back down to the 60s and the pool is about to be closed. It's hard for me to let go of summer. My Gran bought me a pumpkin scented candle and lotion. My season-sensor is all confused.

Kung Fu tonight was pretty cool. I love it when Sifu teaches. But I love it when Tristan teaches, too. More than anything, I miss Lao Shir. Anyway, we did loads of drills, including one called "ripping the bark off the tree," which is basically the "reach behind you and rip nuts off" move, which is exactly what it's for. Then lots of kicks, forearm strikes, and elbow strikes. Then we applied them all to--you guessed it--a choking situation. Sifu seems a bit hung up on women being strangled. At this point, I think it might be safe to say that no one will ever strangle me. We've been drilling anti-choking moves for like a month now.

Halfway through the warmup I found that I was staring at every adult male in the room like a predator and I couldn't stop. The idea of it gave me the giggles, because everyone else was so focussed on what we were all doing, and not one of them knew that my mind was all over the place for a moment there in ways it shoudn't have been. Hormones are bothersome things, but it struck me as hysterically funny, no pun intended.

I feel only slightly less angsty and angry than I did last night. Kung Fu cleared my head a bit and I felt better after I came out of class. I need to stop dwelling on things that are in the past, that don't matter. Which isn't to say that things that are going on now aren't bugging me, though. But I don't want lj drama, so what's the point?

Last night as I was getting into bed, I tried to think of something to worry over. I went down my list of usual worries, and couldn't come up with one. You know how sometimes there's something on your mind, and even if you're not giving it conscious thought, it's still there? For a while (most of the summer, really,) I had jury duty hanging over me, and that was one thing I kept going back to. When I realized that it was over, it felt very freeing. I think I was so used to being worried over it that I forgot to stop. The dogs both had their blood tests. Casse will house-sit Pendragon next year and I don't need to bring him back to a place where no one likes him and leave him there.

There are still a few things in my mind, though. Like for instance, I can't shake the feeling that something's up with Jeremy. I haven't heard from him since 2002, but lately I keep getting a weird vibe about him. I keep trying to contact his brother or find his mother, but so far, no luck. It seems that all I can do is send out a "Jeremy, call me!" vibe and see if he answers. If he can still hear me. Probably not, though.

Oh, I know one other thing. My best friend told me something the other night that has me worried. Not as worried as she is, but it still affects me and would effect both of our lives. This thing she told me, I really don't want it to happen. Neither does she, but we both know it could, and soon.

My brother and his wife are coming out for their annual visit next Saturday, on their way to Montauk. Maybe my aunt and uncle will come out, too. That should be fun. Then the weekend after that, my new puppy joins the pack. Ahhh, now there's somethign to worry over, a big adjustment!

Well, I should go to bed; I have work tomorrow. But then, tomorrow night, the season premiere of House! Which merits a hig old, huge HOOTAH! from me. But then on the other hand, it does seem like just about four weeks ago that I was watching the season finale, rather than four months.

This summer flew. I hate to let go of it, but I prefer a clean break. Don't be hanging around teasing me with 93 degree weather as if I can come home and go swimming and then have ice cream later with my goddaughter.

I get so weird at the change of the seasons.

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