Sep. 3rd, 2005

la_belle_laide: (Turandot)
Today was quite an experience. It began with my hair coming out very crappily, so that I ended up just sticking it up in an updo and throwing some metal spirals in it. It didn't look half bad, but wasn't what I wanted.

The bridal party met up at Donna's Grandma's house, where Michelle was doing everyone's hair. I went upstairs to put my gown on, and found a big, black and brown spider in my bodice! Quite a good thing I checked, otherwise he might have ended up getting smushed, and I might have gotten bitten in the process, also. So I scooped him up and put him outside. Oddly, the little flower girl, four year old Laura (the most gorgeous child, totally made my ovaries ache,) pointed out another spider, this one green, on my gown outside.

I took loads of pictures, had a massive allergy attack, posed for loads of pictures, and then it was time to get into the limo to go to the docks. The limo ride there wasn't half bad, and when we got there, the morning couldn't have been anymore gorgeous. Michelle and her boyfriend Rob watched my purse and cameras while we all did the wedding procession and the ceremony. Donna and Tony were both very calm, and the whole thing was sweet and simple. There were about fifty or so people in attendance, and more stragglers in the park, just out for the carousel or a walk on the beach or the docks or whatever. The wedding party all posed on the carousel, too.

The limo ride to the reception hall wasn't quite so much fun. Most of the women got carsick, myself included, although not too badly in my case. The road to the hall is the same one I travel to go to Kung Fu--it's very hilly and turny. In a limo? Ugh.

At the reception hall we had our own private little room for cocktail hour, which we didn't stay in, thus breaking the tradition of keeping the wedding party separate from the rest of the party until the formal introduction. After that, about a thousand more pictures, and then finally the reception.

All summer, Casse and I have been joking that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson were going to crash the wedding. Wouldn't you know, the Maitre D' spoke, gestured, and acted very much like Vince Vaughn. He resembled him only slightly, but enough so that Casse was in fits over it. We had loads of fun giggling over it and trying to fit him into our own version of the movie. I told Casse, "You should dance with him; he'd be so tiny in your arms," and she cracked up over that.

Speaking of tiny, Kelly from work came up to me before the reception and said, "Jules, I always see you in scrubs and I had no idea you were so tiny!" Kelly and I are the same height--5'9"--so I just looked at her funny. "Skinny," she said; "you're such a skinny thing." I still looked at her funny, because all month I've felt like a freaking house. Yet earlier in the day, Heather, another bridesmaid, called me over with, "Hey, skinny girl!" Now for the record, I'm about 150 lbs, okay? That's nowhere near being "skinny." But I still want to remember it. ^_^

Anyway, right before the formal introduction, there was some problem among some members of the bride's family. She was pretty upset over this, but we all carried on like normal, with the formal introduction of the party and of the bride and groom. I didn't feel emotional up until the DJ announced Donna and Tony and said, "Up until this morning, they were just boyfriend and girlfriend." Because then it seemed like such a huge change, you know?

Of course, they led the first dance, followed by the wedding party. I was dancing with my assigned groomsman for not even twenty seconds when his wife tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, he's mine. I get to dance with him." Uhh, okay, I hardly even know this guy's name, so calm the hell down. Threatened much? I went to sit down at my table then, but I didn't feel too badly, because it was a Bon Jovi song and it sucked.

The next dance was a bit more upbeat, and this is where the mandatory wedding fight happened. Oddly, it wasn't between any of the people who had been having problems earlier, but two of the groomsmen. I saw them come out of one of the back rooms, laughing and goofing with each other in that way that men have, sor tof rough-housing. Then the bigger of the two men started spraying some hairspray he'd nicked from the bathroom into the smaller guy's face. At first they did this all just laughing a bit, but then he wouldn't stop, and the smaller guy went to push him away, and the bigger guy got mad and pinned him up against the wall, spraying hair spray in his eyes. Eventually the two of them were rolling on the floor, not laughing anymore, the bigger guy holding the smaller guy in a headlock and still trying to spray him with the hairspray. It turned into a total test-fest. They were like a couple of silverbacks whose male display rituals had gone way too far. Eventually their wives broke them up. Everyone pretty much went back to dancing after that. Hilariously enough, the next song was "Holla Back Girl," which is basically about a girl-fight. I danced with Casse and the flower girl. Donna wasn't too upset about the two groomsmen rolling on the floor trying to kill each other with hairspray. She later told me that they'd started out just jokingly squirting anti-bacterial stuff at each other in the bathroom and then it escalated from there.

Isn't that silly?

And then I blew the right strap of my dress. Casse pinned it for me, but a few dances down the road, the little flower girl Laura leaped into my arms and I picked her up to spin her, and the left strap went. Michelle pinned it up, and as I was leaving the bathroom, I took a breath, and the left strap went again. And again. And again. Eventually Michelle, Casse and I ended up standing on the stairs while they tried to mend the strap with a bigger safety pin. All the while, the bride's cousin (about 50 ish, spent the entire night on the dance floor doing his craziest moves--you know the guy, the mandatory crazy wedding dancer?) was staring with his mouth open. Finally he came up to me and said, "You're going to call me a dirty old man, but I have to tell you it doesn't matter what you do, it still looks good." Then he booked off to go back to his crazy dancing.

Casse bawled her eyes out while she was giving her speech, as did a few others (bride included,) but I didn't actually cry until the bride danced with her father and I saw him crying. Dads crying always get to me.

Mostly we danced to lots of different songs, and of course we did the mandatory crazy wedding songs and dances like the Electric Slide and Cotton Eye Joe. Towards the end we had the men on one side of the room and the women on the other, each doing Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

I started thinking how this would all look to a foreigner or to someone from the middle ages, and all I could think of was that it would look familiar. Weddings may be the last thing we have that are this primitive, so primitive that they're similiar across most cultures and times. Weddings really haven't changed much. This is part of why I like weddings in general, aside from the dressing up and dancing--because they're so interesting on an anthropological level. I mean, the men fighting, the mating rituals, all of that stuff.

There are reasons why I don't like them, too, but I really try to put that reason out of my head at all times. Mostly they're just fun, and a really good way to observe people.

Anyway, I couldn't have had more fun unless Owen Wilson really did crash the wedding. ;D I'm sad it's over, and now here I am, a tired, extremely sunburned bridesmaid.
la_belle_laide: (Turandot)
Today was quite an experience. It began with my hair coming out very crappily, so that I ended up just sticking it up in an updo and throwing some metal spirals in it. It didn't look half bad, but wasn't what I wanted.

The bridal party met up at Donna's Grandma's house, where Michelle was doing everyone's hair. I went upstairs to put my gown on, and found a big, black and brown spider in my bodice! Quite a good thing I checked, otherwise he might have ended up getting smushed, and I might have gotten bitten in the process, also. So I scooped him up and put him outside. Oddly, the little flower girl, four year old Laura (the most gorgeous child, totally made my ovaries ache,) pointed out another spider, this one green, on my gown outside.

I took loads of pictures, had a massive allergy attack, posed for loads of pictures, and then it was time to get into the limo to go to the docks. The limo ride there wasn't half bad, and when we got there, the morning couldn't have been anymore gorgeous. Michelle and her boyfriend Rob watched my purse and cameras while we all did the wedding procession and the ceremony. Donna and Tony were both very calm, and the whole thing was sweet and simple. There were about fifty or so people in attendance, and more stragglers in the park, just out for the carousel or a walk on the beach or the docks or whatever. The wedding party all posed on the carousel, too.

The limo ride to the reception hall wasn't quite so much fun. Most of the women got carsick, myself included, although not too badly in my case. The road to the hall is the same one I travel to go to Kung Fu--it's very hilly and turny. In a limo? Ugh.

At the reception hall we had our own private little room for cocktail hour, which we didn't stay in, thus breaking the tradition of keeping the wedding party separate from the rest of the party until the formal introduction. After that, about a thousand more pictures, and then finally the reception.

All summer, Casse and I have been joking that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson were going to crash the wedding. Wouldn't you know, the Maitre D' spoke, gestured, and acted very much like Vince Vaughn. He resembled him only slightly, but enough so that Casse was in fits over it. We had loads of fun giggling over it and trying to fit him into our own version of the movie. I told Casse, "You should dance with him; he'd be so tiny in your arms," and she cracked up over that.

Speaking of tiny, Kelly from work came up to me before the reception and said, "Jules, I always see you in scrubs and I had no idea you were so tiny!" Kelly and I are the same height--5'9"--so I just looked at her funny. "Skinny," she said; "you're such a skinny thing." I still looked at her funny, because all month I've felt like a freaking house. Yet earlier in the day, Heather, another bridesmaid, called me over with, "Hey, skinny girl!" Now for the record, I'm about 150 lbs, okay? That's nowhere near being "skinny." But I still want to remember it. ^_^

Anyway, right before the formal introduction, there was some problem among some members of the bride's family. She was pretty upset over this, but we all carried on like normal, with the formal introduction of the party and of the bride and groom. I didn't feel emotional up until the DJ announced Donna and Tony and said, "Up until this morning, they were just boyfriend and girlfriend." Because then it seemed like such a huge change, you know?

Of course, they led the first dance, followed by the wedding party. I was dancing with my assigned groomsman for not even twenty seconds when his wife tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, he's mine. I get to dance with him." Uhh, okay, I hardly even know this guy's name, so calm the hell down. Threatened much? I went to sit down at my table then, but I didn't feel too badly, because it was a Bon Jovi song and it sucked.

The next dance was a bit more upbeat, and this is where the mandatory wedding fight happened. Oddly, it wasn't between any of the people who had been having problems earlier, but two of the groomsmen. I saw them come out of one of the back rooms, laughing and goofing with each other in that way that men have, sor tof rough-housing. Then the bigger of the two men started spraying some hairspray he'd nicked from the bathroom into the smaller guy's face. At first they did this all just laughing a bit, but then he wouldn't stop, and the smaller guy went to push him away, and the bigger guy got mad and pinned him up against the wall, spraying hair spray in his eyes. Eventually the two of them were rolling on the floor, not laughing anymore, the bigger guy holding the smaller guy in a headlock and still trying to spray him with the hairspray. It turned into a total test-fest. They were like a couple of silverbacks whose male display rituals had gone way too far. Eventually their wives broke them up. Everyone pretty much went back to dancing after that. Hilariously enough, the next song was "Holla Back Girl," which is basically about a girl-fight. I danced with Casse and the flower girl. Donna wasn't too upset about the two groomsmen rolling on the floor trying to kill each other with hairspray. She later told me that they'd started out just jokingly squirting anti-bacterial stuff at each other in the bathroom and then it escalated from there.

Isn't that silly?

And then I blew the right strap of my dress. Casse pinned it for me, but a few dances down the road, the little flower girl Laura leaped into my arms and I picked her up to spin her, and the left strap went. Michelle pinned it up, and as I was leaving the bathroom, I took a breath, and the left strap went again. And again. And again. Eventually Michelle, Casse and I ended up standing on the stairs while they tried to mend the strap with a bigger safety pin. All the while, the bride's cousin (about 50 ish, spent the entire night on the dance floor doing his craziest moves--you know the guy, the mandatory crazy wedding dancer?) was staring with his mouth open. Finally he came up to me and said, "You're going to call me a dirty old man, but I have to tell you it doesn't matter what you do, it still looks good." Then he booked off to go back to his crazy dancing.

Casse bawled her eyes out while she was giving her speech, as did a few others (bride included,) but I didn't actually cry until the bride danced with her father and I saw him crying. Dads crying always get to me.

Mostly we danced to lots of different songs, and of course we did the mandatory crazy wedding songs and dances like the Electric Slide and Cotton Eye Joe. Towards the end we had the men on one side of the room and the women on the other, each doing Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

I started thinking how this would all look to a foreigner or to someone from the middle ages, and all I could think of was that it would look familiar. Weddings may be the last thing we have that are this primitive, so primitive that they're similiar across most cultures and times. Weddings really haven't changed much. This is part of why I like weddings in general, aside from the dressing up and dancing--because they're so interesting on an anthropological level. I mean, the men fighting, the mating rituals, all of that stuff.

There are reasons why I don't like them, too, but I really try to put that reason out of my head at all times. Mostly they're just fun, and a really good way to observe people.

Anyway, I couldn't have had more fun unless Owen Wilson really did crash the wedding. ;D I'm sad it's over, and now here I am, a tired, extremely sunburned bridesmaid.

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