The Lightning Strike, and a movie review (Hesher)

[la_belle_laide]

I finally got to see Hesher last night, in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt portrays Bert McCracken from The Used, (not really though,) so I thought my "universe giving you the finger" icon would be appropriate. I found it streaming online and decided to watch it after a really weird thing that happened when I was on my way home from Kung Fu.

A friend of mine, her Mom died yesterday, which was the 2 year anniversary of Dad's passing. It was particularly sad for her because she's pregnant and wanted her mother to be around to get to know the baby. I can really understand that; after all if I do decide to have a kid, it will never get to know my Dad. But then I thought (and told her, too,) that her baby would actually know her grandmother; she would know her through her mother. I think that the best of people stays on, you know, in others. What I mean is, I want to be everything that was awesome about my Dad, and pass that on.

And also, because of how the law of conservation of mass and energy shows that nothing ever leaves, it just changes form. We're all pretty much just chemicals and electricity, right? And those don't go anywhere.

So I was thinking of this last night on my way home, still feeling a bit down and wishing stupidly for some kind of sign. The song "The Lightning Strike" came on. What if the storm ends and I don't see you... ever again etc. and I thought that was kind of neat, since I had just been thinking about electricity and such. It came to the line, Be the lightning in me that strikes relentless , and just exactly as they said "lightning," KKKRRRSHHH! This huge, orange fork of lightning split the sky directly in front of me. I damn near drove off the road. Because there was one cloud in the whole sky. One effing cloud, and the rest was clear, all stars. It's been stormy and rainy today, and it was the night before too – but in that moment, it was just mostly clear with one random cloud and that one bolt of lightning.

Safe to say I was pretty astounded, and—against my logical, Feyman-loving mind—happily reassured. I try to deny things like this, I really do. I want to be logical, I want evidence. I don't believe in god and I think most of that junk is nonsense. But once in a while things like this happen and I'm not asking for an explanation, because there is a logical one: Well, there was a cloud in the sky and lightning came out of it, that's no big deal, lightning strikes hundreds, thousands of times per minute all over the earth.

But sometimes the timing of these things just makes me go, "Okay, yeah, I get it. If matter and energy don't go anywhere, then it seems at least possible that consciousness doesn't, either." Right? Like everything else, if it exists, it must simply change form. Why would the law go for everything else in the universe except consciousness? I'm sure, of course, that someone can argue that: consciousness is an agent of emergence; we can't explain it, we don't know what it is aside from some kind of filter to ALL OF THE THINGS. But all science can come up with is, "We don't know, we don't know." Well I suppose I don't have to know. That keeps it interesting, right? Like Graham Chapman's pepperpot said, about the idea of knowing everything: "Oh, I wouldn't like that! 'Twould take all the mystery out of life!" Or like Feynman said: "I don't feel frightened by not knowing things. I think it's much more interesting."

Anyway, so I decided to watch Hesher because it's a movie that is basically about death and loss, and the chaos that moves into your home in the wake of these things.

I took it mostly as a metaphor and honestly, that was the only way I could really get on board with it, because the characters' behavior outside of metaphor was, in many instances, baffling to me. Because here's this guy, and he's gross and vulgar and dangerous, he does all these violent and illegal things, and no one calls the cops? Mourning paralyzes you to an extent, but it doesn't usually make you lose your mind in a prolonged situation like this. Really, no one questioned this guy and kicked him out, or actually called the police? He's hanging around this little kid who mysteriously comes home every night looking like someone beat the crap out of him (and more often than not, someone did, and occasionally it's Hesher,) and no one questions the obvious sociopath hanging around him? I would have punched him in the mouth just for talking the way he did.

I'm not saying that I didn't like the movie; I enjoyed it and I pretty much cried through a lot of it, too. I just had to look at it as a metaphor for chaos and not a literal situation. Like, someone dies, and then chaos moves into your house and breaks all your stuff, beats you down, makes you feel awful, forces you do to illogical things, occasionally outside of your will. It makes you yell at people and throw things. You think that you've gotten to the worst of it and hey, it's got to get better now, right? And then, not even months later, someone else dies, and then someone else, and it keeps piling up, and Chaos (Hesher, in this case) just won't effing leave you alone. You keep trying to make him leave, but he laughs in your face and then bangs the person you care about for good measure.

Speaking of: looking at the movie literally, I could not--could not--get on board with Nicole (Natalie Portman) banging this guy. I was like, WHAT, did he not just announce to you that he had to see a doctor because "it burns when I urinate!" He's more or less a walking STD, not to mention a felon who destroyed this random home and left you there to take the blame. And I'm sorry dude, but you're NATALIE PORTMAN, and there's not enough costumes and acting in the world that's going to make me believe you're desperate enough to hit that.

Yeah yeah I know, Joseph Gordon-Levitt etc. But smiling eyes and sinewy thighs, and cupid's bow-lips and slinky hips notwithstanding, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CONDOMS IN THE WORLD. I'm not talking about JGL himself here, but Hesher. I wouldn't touch him with someone else's vagina.



And I'm not buying that Natalie Portman's soft-spoken, adorable little character would either.

Unless, hmm. Unless she actually was doing it for money, as TJ accused her of doing. I hadn't thought about that while I was watching it. I guess I could get on board with that. But still, the guy was basically just like "Hey I have probably five or more STDs, I bathe intermittently when I can, and I really DGAF about you." Umm yeah bro, jump on. Not. I just don't think there's enough money in the world, you know? Again, I'm talking about the character here, not JGL. ^_^;;

Oh, the little kid was awesome too. I thought he handled all the grief really bravely, but his best scenes were when he was angry and violent. Takes guts to do that and I thought he did a great job.

My favorite parts were of Hesher and Grandma. That's where I could see some realism and most of the humanity in the movie.

So that's what it was about to me: Hesher was the embodiment of the destruction and Chaos that takes over your life in the wake of tragedy. And at the end of it all, it's also what makes you open your damn eyes and grow a little. I think that's a pretty important point to remember. You hate it, you wish it would leave, but you need it because it's part of your experience, and you either accept it, be grateful for what you have and keep living, or you let it keep beating you down. I couldn't help but notice that once Hesher said what he had to say, and the family changed for the better, he was gone. Just like in real life.

MOVIES GIVE ME ALL OF THE FEELINGS, OKAY.